As Tally dried herself off from her shower the next morning, she took stock of herself in the mirror. Her short hair was already curling after being only towel-dried. Peering at close range, she was vaguely pleased to notice there were only a few lines around her eyes. Smiling, she realized they were all laugh lines. Better than lines of discontent, she thought, remembering her father.
Her figure was still slender, her breasts firm, her stomach taut, her hips nicely rounded. She could feel Devon’s hands on her body as they had touched her last night. Merely remembering caused her to become breathless with longing.
“Stop it,” she commanded herself.
After three years without a woman, was it any wonder he wanted one? It meant nothing. Nothing. And the sooner she recognized that, acknowledged that, believed that, the sooner she could put it behind her.
She repeated it to herself as she dressed in cotton shorts and a loose cotton shirt. She tucked her glasses into her pocket. Distant things would be a little blurry, so maybe she wouldn’t have to see Devon’s gaze or meet his scorn. He probably thought she acted like a scared rabbit. She was an adult, as was Devon. She should have handled the situation differently, better.
Descending the stairs, Tally wondered how she should greet Devon. Politely, it went without saying. But with friendliness? Or a distinct coolness? Maybe distant reserve. She wiped her damp palms against her shorts. Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the kitchen.
Ariel was just coming in from the yard, holding a basket of eggs. Her eyes met Tally’s. “Are you all right?” she asked.
“Sure, how about you?”
“I didn’t slam my door in the middle of the night last night,” Ariel said as she placed the basket of eggs on the counter near Alberta.
The older woman turned and studied Tally after hearing Ariel’s comment.
She felt her cheeks grow warm. Hoping she wasn’t blushing beet-red, she tried a smile. It felt awkward, but she ignored that.
Devon entered from his bedroom just as Jed and Brad banged open the screen door. “It’s going to be cooler today,” Brad said, swiping a piece of toast and starting to munch it even as Alberta slapped his hand.
He grinned at the woman and hurried to the dining room table. Jed followed suit, a bit more devious in his toast snatching.
“If it stays cool, we can get the cement and start pouring by the end of the week,” Devon said, striding to the table. He sat, his eyes on Tally as she followed Alberta, each carrying a platter piled high with food.
“We’ll need everyone to help. Can Gus schedule ranch work around it?”
“Of course,” she said, not meeting his gaze.
He nodded, his eyes drawn to that mouth, hungry for her mouth.
Tally stopped in mid step, glancing at him, seeing the naked hunger in his face as he gazed at her mouth, flicking out her tongue to wet suddenly dry lips. Devon closed his eyes briefly and then turned away.
Kat made an entrance.
“Good morning, all.”
Sashaying over to the table, she pulled out the chair next to Devon and gave him a sultry smile. At his slight nod, she seemed satisfied and looked around the table. Suddenly her expression changed when she met Tally’s eyes.
“What got you all in a tizzy last night? I heard your door slam in the middle of the night.”
“A breeze yanked it right out of my hand,” Tally said brazenly, refusing to look at Devon.
“It was windy last night?” Jed asked.
“Freak wind,” Devon murmured, his eyes dancing in amusement. “Listen up. If the weather holds, we can pour concrete Friday.”
Tally walked to the pond site, watching Devon and Brad and Jed as she approached. Devon wore cutoff jeans, riding low on his hips, and no shirt. The two young men were similarly attired.
It was cooler than other days but still hot in the sun. Devon was smoothing the dirt, sculpturing the bottom. The other two pounded the ground smooth in preparation for the concrete.
“Will you want Philip over to help?” Tally asked.
Devon looked up, his eyes squinting against the sun.
“We could use his expertise. He knows more about this than I do,” Devon said, never pausing.
“I’ll call and see if he can make Friday,” she said.
He nodded.
Kat came out of the house and sauntered over to the work site. The shorts she wore made Tally’s look conservative. Her abbreviated top displayed a smooth stretch of tanned abdomen.
“Looking good, Devon,” Kat called.
The work or the man? Tally wondered.
Jed looked up. “We’re all working on it, Kat. When are you going to take a turn?”
“I worked the other night, remember? And I’m here to help today as well.”
“And Friday,” Devon said. “We’ll all be home to work on the cement.”
Kat examined her hands. Her nails were long and red.
“I don’t want to ruin my nails,” she said slowly, waving them so Devon could see.
“Then wear gloves,” Devon said shortly. He flicked a glance at Tally. “Did you want something else?”
She shook her head, avoiding his eyes. What she wanted and what she was prepared to deal with were two different things.
“Just watching.”
He pounded a square foot of dirt and glanced up at her again.
“Thought you were going to call Philip.”
“I can do that later. It would be better to call around noon.”
“You boys want something cold to drink?” Kat asked, her eyes on Devon.
“Yeah,” Jed answered. “A really big glass of cold water.”
“Me, too.” Brad said, not stopping work.
Devon nodded.
“I’ll bring it right out. That’s helping, isn’t it, Devon?”
“It would be a huge help,” he said, smiling at Kat.
Tally simmered. She would not feel jealous of a nineteen-year-old girl. She didn’t care that Devon smiled at Kat and didn’t smile at her. She didn’t need his smiles to make her day.
But one wouldn’t hurt, a small voice whispered.
“Then I’ll go call Philip, now. That’ll be a help, won’t it Devon?” she mimicked, then immediately felt ashamed of herself. She was acting no better than Kat.
He looked at her for a long moment, then stepped out of the depression, dropped the shovel and strode over to her. Taking her arm he pulled her away from the pool, away from the house and away from everyone who could listen.
“Last night wasn’t about me wanting some woman to ease an itch,” he said in a low, hard voice. “It was about being enticed by your sassy, sexy little body beyond what I can resist. You are a beautiful, tantalizing woman, Tally. You know that and I know that. You can take my kisses however you want, and respond however you wish, but don’t you ever think I wanted just anyone. I’m sure I could find a good-time girl in Jackson if I looked hard enough. Or take Kat up on her blatant invitations if I just wanted to ease an itch. You got that?”
Tally swallowed hard and nodded. He called her beautiful again. She almost missed the rest of his tirade as her heart caught on the word. Devon Henderson thought she was beautiful.
He started to say something else, but Kat called to him and he turned toward her.
“I’ll be right there.”
Kat hesitated at the edge of the depression that would soon be a pond and watched Tally and Devon suspiciously.
“There’s no privacy around here,” he muttered.
“That’s one of the tenets of Fresh Start—make sure the guests have privacy,” Tally murmured, perversely wishing to annoy him.
“Well, you’re falling down on the job. I could use a heck of a lot more privacy right now.” He glared at her for a long moment before releasing her arm and heading back toward the others.
Tally remained where she stood, watching him until he was too blurry for her to clearly see. He though she was beautiful. If he never said another word, or touched her ever again, her heart would always remember this morning and the sincerity of his tone.
Tally left them to their work and went inside to call Philip.
Friday dawned cool and overcast. High clouds drifted by, and a slight breeze rustled the grass and the leaves. The entire ranch turned out early to eat breakfast and discuss the plans for the day. Rusty, Tomas, Jed and Brad rushed through chores so they’d be ready to go to work on the pond when the cement pouring began.
Philip and Jimmie May arrived before eight. By eight-thirty everyone was lined up beside the wide hole that had been dug for the pond. Devon was delegating instructions, Philip and Gus each heading up teams with different assignments.
Jimmie May stood a bit apart beside Tally.
“Interesting, n‘est-ce pas?” she asked watching the activity avidly.
“What?”
“Your Devon acting like a general. Rallying the troops. Every one of your guests is lined up ready to plunge into the fray.”
“Brad would rather be riding, but is joining in. Kat is worried about her nails, and I feel like a fifth wheel. With so many people milling around, how will anything get done?” Tally said, deliberately ignoring Jimmie May’s comments.
“Watch and see, chérie. I suspect your Devon will manage.”
“He’s not my Devon,” Tally protested.
Devon and Philip started to prepare the concrete, mixing the bags of cement with water in two wheelbarrows. The others gathered around, watching. Tally stood near Devon, fascinated as he stirred the gooey mixture, mesmerized as the rock and sand began to assume a slurry consistency.
Devon glanced over at her.
“Hold the hose and add water when I say,” he ordered.
She picked up the hose and held it in anticipation of his next command. When he nodded, she squeezed the handle and sprayed water into the mix.
“Enough.”
Slowly he stirred some more. When she glanced up at him, he stared at her, his eyes unreadable. “Don’t you want to put something else on?” he murmured softly. None of the others appeared to hear him as they bantered back and forth.
“Why would I?”
“It’s those indecent shorts again. Philip is a married man, he shouldn’t be tempted like that.”
Tally glanced around, afraid someone heard. No one paid any attention.
“Shhh,” she whispered.
He kept stirring, but the amusement was obvious in his eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that. Your timing is lousy. The cement will set up in the wheelbarrow if we don’t begin pouring. And the privacy issue is one we need to discuss.”
Tally stared back at him, her eyes widening, a slow smile filling her face even as her heart began its rapid beat.
“You think so, huh?”
“Yes, I do.”
He leaned over and kissed her hard on her smiling mouth. Then he stepped back to stir the concrete as if nothing had happened.
Tally felt as if her world had been turned upside down. The sky was spinning, the sun seemed brighter than ever before. Her heart began to slow. To stop? She stared at his dark hair, watching the play of muscles as he stirred the thick mixture, the strength in his shoulders, his arms, his hands. She licked her lips. Not a word passed his lips. She glanced around.
Kat glared at her.
No one else had seen. It had been too brief. Far too brief.
Trying to pass it off, Tally winked at Kat. But the girl turned away, furious.
“Ready to pour,” Philip called.
Everyone quickly fell to work, and before the afternoon was over it was done. Cement covered the ground, liberally sprinkled the helpers, and splattered on the grass nearby. But the pond had a definite shape, and a rock-solid base.
“It looks so nice,” Tally said, proudly surveying the work. The sun was low in the sky. Everyone was tired, dirty and more than ready to quit. But the pond was finished, except for the waterfall.
“When can we put the water in?” she asked.
“This needs to set up first, to cure,” Philip said, cleaning his hands on a rag. “Probably a few days. You don’t want to rush it. You’ll have it for years—no need to take a chance by filling it too early.”
“We need to get the stone-work finished first. And the pipes installed and electricity brought out,” Devon added, rinsing the last of the cement from his wheelbarrow.
“I can hardly wait. Do you think the ducks will like it?”
“If they don’t, we can have roast duck for dinner one night,” Philip remarked, laughing and starting to pick up the shovels.
Ariel and Jimmie May gathered the empty cement bags. Kat moved to stand near Devon, offering to help clean off the last traces of sand and grit.
“I’m starving,” Jed said, lying down on the ground and groaning a few minutes later. Brad and Tomas sat beside him, looking beat.
“What’s for dinner?”
Alberta started to reply when Devon stopped her.
“Wait a minute. We’re not quite finished.”
Everyone looked at him.
“Everyone signs their name around the perimeter. For all time, everyone will know who helped build Tally’s pond. Ariel, you go first, then Brad and so on in alphabetical order.” Looking around for a solid stick, he handed one to the girl. Glancing at Tally, he noted her pleased expression. It seemed to take so little to have her light up like a kid at Christmas.
Ariel proudly stepped forward and began to trace her name in the still-soft concrete. Brad stood beside her, watching carefully.
“Dinner? I didn’t start anything. Too busy here,” Alberta said, sinking on an overturned wheelbarrow. “I’m as tired as Brad. What do you want that’s fast?”
Tally smiled. “I have the perfect solution. My treat to pizza. Everyone can pitch in for the evening chores, then with a quick wash and we’ll be ready.”
“All right!” Jed yelled, punching the air with a fist.
The pizza place was crowded and they had to stand in line to order. Tally scanned the large menu on the wall, unconsciously rotating her shoulders to try to loosen up her stiff muscles.
Warm hands closed over her and began kneading gently. She looked over her shoulder at Devon. His eyes stared down into hers for a long moment, then he shifted his gaze to the back of her neck, to his hands soothing the strain of the day’s work away.
Tally felt deliciously cared for. She hadn’t had anyone concerned for her since her mother died. She’d been the one to worry about her brother and her father. This made her feel cherished. It was unexpected. And so very nice.
They commandeered a huge round table near the back wall and sat with a pitcher of beer for the adults and several pitchers of soda for the younger ones. Tally was pleased to notice how relaxed Devon seemed. The reserve that seemed so much a part of him was missing tonight. All her guests were out to have a good time and Devon fit right in.
Slowly the different interests in the group sorted themselves out. Tally leaned back against the wall and let the wave of noise wash over her. She was happy. Truly content in this moment. The satisfaction she received from watching these young men and women turn their lives around made life worthwhile. She wished Bobby had had this kind of chance. Wished she could talk to him once more, tell him how much she missed him. How she hoped he was pleased with what she was doing with her life—as a memorial to him.
When pizza arrived the conversation became general. As the evening progressed, Devon told a couple of stories from his life in San Francisco. Not to be outdone, Jed bragged about some of his exploits, and before long everyone was trying to outdo the other with outrageous tales.
After starting the ball rolling, Devon was content to listen as the others exchanged stories. He caught a look from Tally and suddenly wished dinner had been the two of them, without the others. What was it about Tally that made him curious to find out everything about her? To discover what life had been like for her, to ease away any hurts and disappointments. To learn what made her happy, and what made her mad.
Devon pulled up and leaned back in his chair, trying to distance himself from the others. After Sheila, he didn’t want to get involved with anyone. Tally had a sexy little body. He was interested, there was no question about that. But that was the extent of it. It had to be. When his time was up, he was moving on.
“I’m feeling muscles I didn’t even know I had,” Philip said after a moment. “I think we should be heading for home, darling.”
“I am more than ready,” Jimmie May said as she gathered her things. “Merci, chérie, for including us in your backbreaking work. Next time do not call!”
Tally laughed. She thanked her friends, hugging Jimmie May and bidding Philip a warm farewell. She and the others followed them from the restaurant. Everyone was tired. But the beaming smiles on each face warmed Tally’s heart. These kids needed success stories behind them. They could feel proud of the work they’d done today, and add it to their list of accomplishments. Enough good ones to out weigh the bad ones, Tally hoped.
Everyone piled into the two ranch trucks and Gus and Alberta’s old car. Tally drove one truck, Rusty the other. She noted Kat made sure she sat next to Devon in Rusty’s vehicle. She sighed, hoping Devon wasn’t encouraging her. And that Kat didn’t do anything outrageous.
“Tally,” Ariel said.
The girl sat next to her as she drove, Tomas on the far side. He appeared to be dozing.
“What?”
“Do you think I’ll ever get married?”
“I expect so,” Tally said.
“I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but now that I see Jimmie May and Philip, maybe,” Ariel said softly. “He doesn’t hit her, does he?”
Tally blinked and threw a quick look at her young charge.
“No, Philip would never hit Jimmie May, any more than she would hit him.”
“That’s nice.”
“They love each other,” Tally said.
“You’re not married,” Ariel said.
“Marriage isn’t for everyone. But if you meet the right man, you want to share your life with him, build one together. Like Jimmie May and Philip. And if you’re lucky, you can have children to enrich that life. Like Gus and Alberta. They have four sons.”
For a heart-stopping moment, Tally thought about Devon. She could almost envision a life together, sharing the ranch, having him teach each of her guests about accounting and project management and how to fill out forms, get cost estimates, pay bills. Would their children have light hair, or dark like his?
“I guess it’s better to be on your own,” Ariel said slowly.
“It’s not better or worse, just one way to live,” Tally said.
“Lonely, sometimes,” Tomas added.
“Thought you were asleep.”
“Who can sleep with two women yakking?” he teased.
“How can you be lonely when you date half the women in town?” Tally retorted.
“Because there is no one special person who cares about me,” he said, his eyes still closed.
“Being married is like being in a family, isn’t it?” Ariel asked.
“Yes, it is a family. A family of two. That could grow or be enlarged by relatives or very close friends,” Tally explained.
She knew Ariel came from an abusive home, that she’d run away and been caught stealing to stay alive. For a moment Tally’s heart threatened to break thinking of the hardships the teenager had faced at so young an age.
All the more reason for Tally to work in Fresh Start. She reached out and squeezed Ariel’s hand.
“Plenty of time for you to decide if you want to get married or not. Don’t rush into anything.”
“Do you like being alone?” she asked.
“I’m not alone. I have you and the others staying with me, Tomas and Rusty, Gus and Alberta.”
“But no one all yours.”
“No.”
She had chosen that way, deliberately. Was she having second thoughts? She valued her independence more than most. But just lately she’d realized with that independence came loneliness.
They pulled into the ranch yard and got out. Surprisingly Ariel reached out to hug Tally.
“Thanks for pizza. And for letting me sign my name on your pond.”
“Thank you, Ariel. You can come to visit any time you want after you leave, and always see your name there.”
“And if I ever do marry and have kids, can I bring them to see it, too?”
“Of course.”
Tally was touched. She brushed back Ariel’s short-cropped hair, ignored the five earrings in the girl’s ear and looked into her eyes.
“This is your home, honey. And when you leave, you’ll still be welcome to come visit whenever you want.”
Good-nights were said, and the boys headed for the bunkhouse. Gus and Alberta held hands as they walked toward their cottage. Tally watched for a moment with a pang of envy. Alberta didn’t seem to be lacking in anything she wanted. Did she feel the loss of independence? Or was there a kind of independence in an interdependent relationship?
Tally followed the girls toward the house, slowed and glanced around. She spotted Devon leaning against the corral fence, his hand running along the neck of one of the horses.
Taking a deep breath, she veered in his direction.
“Aren’t you tired?” she asked when she approached.
He turned and leaned against the fence with one shoulder, crossing his arms across his chest.
“I think if I went to bed now, you couldn’t wake me before the end of next week.”
“Then why are you up?”
“Just enjoying things.”
“Like aching muscles?”
“Like remembering dinner. First beer I’ve had in a while.”
“Well, if you’d gone with me to Jimmie May and Philip’s the other night you could have had all you could drink.”
“Tonight was enough. Are you happy with your pond?”
“I am. Thank you, Devon. And your idea of having everyone sign the cement was brilliant. I think it made it all the more special.”
He shrugged.
“Once the waterfall is working, we might be able to hear it out here,” she said inanely, knowing she should get into the house before she made a fool of herself.
“Tell me about your dad, Tally,” Devon said.
Surprised by his question, she tried to see his expression in the night.
“What brought that on?”
“Curiosity.”
“You’ll be disappointed, there’s not much to tell. He was a crotchety old man when I first met him. He was twenty years older than my mother. I don’t know why she ever married him. She was his second wife. He had a son by the first, but my Aunt Caroline only told me about him when I was leaving for California. Bobby lived with his mother until she abandoned him one day and he ended up with our father, who never had any use for either of us, except for what we could do for him. He was not a man who should have had children.”
“Was it hard coming to California?” he asked gently.
“What do you think? It’s so different from Georgia. I lived in a small town, knew everyone. It was safe and quiet and friendly. My mother’s sister lived nearby. We had a lot of love and laughter in our home. Until my mom got sick and died. My aunt couldn’t afford to keep me. She thought she was doing the right thing by sending me to live with my father.
“San Francisco’s a big city, dangerous at night, and impersonal. Perfect place for my father.”
“I liked San Francisco. It can be an exciting place to live,” Devon said slowly.
“I had to be home to cook and clean and fetch things for him. He never appreciated anything. Or tried—”
She stopped. The familiar ached spread from her heart.
“Tried?” Devon prompted.
“He never tried to help Bobby. By the time my brother needed him most, my father had developed early stages of Alzheimer’s. He picked a fight every chance he got.”
“So you nursed him.”
“It wasn’t so bad when I was in high school. But then he got worse. He was my father. I was all he had. At first I could leave long enough for art classes, but toward the end he needed constant supervision. I was still young and had no place else to go.”
Devon studied her, thinking of what she’d just told him. While other girls were out dating and having fun and falling in love, Tally was at home taking care of a cranky old man. From the time she was eleven until just five years ago. How had she stood it all those years?
“What happened to Bobby?” he asked.
She looked up at the sky, at the millions of stars that shone so brightly in the dark expanse.
“Bobby was five years older than I. He ran with a wild crowd—a gang, really. His way of rebelling, I think. He got caught stealing and was sent to juvenile detention for a couple of years. When he got out—”
The old hurt resurfaced, the desperate need for her brother to be with her, the frustration with her inability to do anything to help.
“When he got out, our father was worse than before. Hostile. Baiting. He refused to have anything to do with Bobby. A nineteen-year-old has an abundance of pride. Bobby went back to his old friends, and in three weeks was dead of a gang-related shooting.”
Tally blinked back tears. Even after all the time that had passed, she still felt the loss of the one person who had made life joyful.
“The worst part,” she continued a moment later, “was that my father owned this place all the time and we never knew it. Bobby would have been fine if he’d come here. Gus and Alberta have worked here for decades. They held the ranch together after my grandparents died. Can you see Gus letting a punk kid get away with anything? He’d have taught Bobby useful skills, given him a place to live away from the gangs and—”
Tears threatened. She never spoke of her brother or her father.
Turning, Tally started for the house. Devon’s hands on her shoulders stopped her.
“I’m sorry, Tally.”
Slowly he turned her around and drew her into his arms.
“It was so senseless. Being killed because he belonged to a gang. He was only nineteen—same age as Jed and Brad.”
Tears started, quiet ones, hopeless ones.
Resting his cheek against the top of her head, he held her. Now he knew what drove Tally Newcome to volunteer for Fresh Start. And her reasons were as far from something Sheila would have done as the earth was from the sun.
“My life was different, before I screwed it up,” Devon said slowly, staring out into the black night. He couldn’t let her go yet. If ever anyone needed something, it was this woman.
“My folks are still happily married, still living in the house I grew up in. It’s a big white house in Salisbury, on Maryland’s eastern shore. My dad’s in banking and my mom teaches third grade. I have two sisters and an older brother. Loads of cousins, aunts, uncles. I even have one grandfather still going strong.”
“You’re lucky, Devon, to have such a big family. My aunt Caroline never wrote me after I left. Do you see them often?”
She closed her eyes, envisioning his family gathering for holidays or for a day at the beach. She had so often longed for a normal family, for outings that she could have shared with Bobby. Slowly she wiped the tears from her cheeks, took a breath.
“Not lately, of course. They don’t know I’ve been in prison.”
“What?”
Tally pulled back and looked up at him.
“I never told them.”
“Not your parents?”
“They have high expectations.”
“But how could you hide it?”
“Steve helped. I transferred the phone to his apartment and hooked up an answering machine. If they called, Steve let me know and I called them back from prison. We were allowed one phone call a week. Steve took the letters I wrote and mailed them from San Francisco.”
“They never came to visit?”
“I put them off the one time they suggested it. Trumped up an excuse.” He looked up at the dark sky. “I couldn’t tell them.”
“Wow.”
Tally thought about what he said. If she had a family, she would want to feel she could go to them with anything, even if she made a mistake.
“Surely your family wouldn’t turn their backs on you because you made a mistake. You gave Sheila a chance, and she wasn’t even family. You must have gotten that from somewhere. I’d think they’d want to know. I think they’d have stood by you.”
“They’d just be upset and disappointed. I’d feel rotten telling them.”
“But they’re a part of your life. They’d want to share all facets of your life, not only the good things. They’d understand.”
“I don’t know,” Devon said bitterly. “I’m not sure I understand myself. Heck, I don’t even know why I told you.”
Without another word, he let her go, and headed into the dark house.
Slamming the bedroom door behind him, he stood in the dark for a long time, trying to control the frustration and anger that built in him. Darn Sheila and her lies. And darn him for believing her. Believing in any woman.
And darn Tally for getting under his skin, for sharing parts of herself that were so personal he suspected she rarely spoke of them. She had no business giving him reasons to open up to her and tell her things he didn’t tell anyone else. She was another woman and he’d better watch his step around her.
He had work to do. Flipping on his light, he picked up the package that arrived that afternoon. With all the work on the pond, he hadn’t even opened it. This was important. This was the key to his future. Not getting involved with a woman, no matter how much he wanted her. He’d done without for the past three years, he could do without forever if he needed to. He’d learned his lesson—learned it well.