The chill was instantly banished as his heated body melded with hers. His mouth demanded a response as he claimed her lips in a crushing embrace.
Tally could scarcely breathe. Flames leaped within her in answer to his touch; warmth washed through her body and limbs. His hunger was matched within her, her body ached for his touch, yearned for fulfillment, for love.
She lost track of time and place. She was anchored by Devon’s embrace, his mouth wreaking havoc with her senses, his hands drawing responses she didn’t know herself capable of. If he hadn’t banded her to him, her rubbery knees would have given way.
His mouth moved from her lips to trail hot kisses across her cheeks, to nibble softly on the small lobe of her ear.
“Tally, forgive me. You have to,” he said. “I didn’t mean a single word.”
Slowly her eyes opened; uncertainty filled her face. “You already apologized.”
“Forgiveness is different. You need to grant me that.”
Taking a deep breath, Tally nodded. How could she advocate forgiveness if she wasn’t willing to show him the way?
Closing his eyes, Devon rested his head against hers, breathing in her unique scent. Something had been lifted. He wasn’t sure what happened, but he felt lighter—almost purged.
Later that afternoon, Tally wandered out to the pond. It was full, the pump working, making a pleasing, splashing, gurgling noise as water cascaded down the rocks. Smiling in delight, she went to the porch and sank into the swing. She could hear the soft murmur of the waterfall, just as she’d imagined.
Even as she watched, her two ducks waddled over, suspiciously eyeing the waterfall, the pond. Then, with the joy of recognition, they scurried into the water, paddling round, ducking their heads beneath the surface, coming up with a shake to shed the water.
Tally smiled at their antics, elated to have the pond finished For a moment an ache in her heart stopped her breathing. Each time she’d look at it, she’d be reminded of Devon, of all the work he’d done on the pond, of their water fight. Of his apology.
She shifted position slightly on the swing, setting it to moving. What would become of them? In a few weeks, Devon would be moving on. Fresh Start prepared the hosts for that. It was essential that the offenders return to the outside world, no matter how much they wanted to stay with their hosts.
Devon had to leave, too. No matter how hard it would be to say goodbye.
How would she stand it when the time came? She’d never felt for any of her guests what she felt for Devon. She’d never felt like this with any man.
Tears glistened in her eyes when she heard him crunching up the driveway, Major as always gamboling at his side. When Devon saw her, he changed directions for the porch.
Dashing the tears away, hoping he hadn’t noticed, she put on a bright smile. Life was too short to waste time on vain regrets. It was as it was.
“Out walking? Don’t you get enough exercise?” she called as he drew nearer. “I can ask Gus to find other things for you to do.”
He laughed, looking younger than ever, and almost happy. “Some muscles are out of shape due to lack of use.”
He sank beside her on the swing, took one of her hands in his, lacing his fingers through hers and resting their linked hands on his strong thigh.
His jeans were snug, worn, soft beneath her hand. The cotton checked shirt fit snugly across his broad shoulders. Tally thought he looked great, but she couldn’t tell him. She felt tongue-tied, looking away in confusion.
“The pond’s super. Thank you.”
She squeezed his fingers and leaned over to rest her head against his shoulder. For a long time they were silent, gently swinging back and forth. Tally smiled through the moisture in her eyes. She’d treasure this bittersweet moment long after Devon had gone.
“It’s nice here,” Devon said.
“I love it. It’s peaceful, quiet and safe. And the waterfall sounds just like I thought it would when you first suggested it. For me, this is as perfect as it gets on earth. I don’t really like cities.”
“Not at all?” he asked.
“Maybe to visit once in a while. The ranch is my home.”
“Salisbury is a small town, but I wanted out. I wanted to hit the big town, make my mark on things.” He was silent for a long moment. “I guess I did that.”
“Put it behind you, Devon,” she said softly. “Forgive yourself. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But if we learn from them, don’t repeat them, we can let them go and move on.”
“That’s what I’m doing—starting with selling the condo. Material things were so important at one time. The more I had, the more successful I was. Didn’t I have the status symbols to prove it? Now it seems so superficial.”
“Greed can distort things. Even just trying to outshine your neighbor can be harmful. Perhaps if Sheila had had a more balanced view of things, she wouldn’t have stolen the money, wouldn’t have involved you. But it’s in the past, and you’ll have to forget it, forgive yourself for the lapse and go on.”
“I won’t ever forget it, Tally. It’s something I have to come to terms with before I can go on. But I won’t ever forget.”
“Was being in prison awful?” she asked after a bit.
He nodded, silent for a few moments. “I think the worst of the whole experience was Mr. Roberts.”
“Your boss.” She remembered what he’d said before.
“He trusted me to do my job, to be an honest man. I let him down. I can still see his face when he realized what I’d done. I hated that the most.”
“You need to tell him,” she asked after a moment.
“What?”
“Go see him. Explain. Apologize.”
That would be cathartic for Devon, would help him along the road to recovery. She suspected he was too honorable to ever sleep well at night knowing what he’d done. Maybe it was time to find redemption by telling his old boss about Sheila, make him see how he’d been caught up in believing in a woman he loved. Surely anyone could understand. Not condone, but understand.
“I told you, he’d never see me.”
“You don’t know if you don’t try. He might. He probably wants to understand why you abused his trust, might relish an explanation.”
“We’ve had this discussion before.”
“So we can have it again.”
“He heard everything at the trial.”
“Well, he heard what the lawyers said. But does he know how you felt? Why you stalled for time? What you thought was going to happen, that Sheila was going to replace the money? You could explain how you were trying to give Sheila a chance, to justify the trust you had in her. The love.”
“My trust wasn’t justified.”
“You know that now. But tell Mr. Roberts how it was then. It might make you feel better. And maybe him as well. Anyway, it can’t hurt, right?”
Devon stared ahead, but didn’t see the grassy hillside. Instead he saw the face of his boss, the man who had believed in him, trusted him. The man he’d let down. Then he thought about this afternoon. What he remembered most was the peace that flowed through him when she forgave him.
Could he ask Harold Roberts for that?
“Trust is a very fragile thing. Once it’s gone, you can’t just get it back,” he said slowly. He had learned something from the experience. Too bad it came too late.
“He doesn’t have to trust you again, just understand what happened. You aren’t planning to go back to him to apply for a job.”
“Trusting a woman is similar,” he said slowly.
Yet he was beginning to trust Tally.
Tally grew still. The discussion had veered into another direction entirely. She swallowed and said, “Trusting Sheila isn’t likely to come up again.”
“Or any woman,” he said. “If one woman would betray a man’s love, why wouldn’t they all?”
She laughed softly.
“Devon, be serious. That’s no more true than if one man betrays another man’s trust that means all men will. That same man may not ever do it again. I trust you.”
“Even if I don’t trust you?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“It’s not tit for tat I’ll trust you whether you ever trust me or not. But you can. Maybe you’ll have time to find that out before you leave.”
“Where am I going?”
“Your time’s up in a few more weeks. Don’t tell me you don’t have the days marked.”
“Maybe I’ll stay.”
She blinked. She’d not expected that.
“No, you can’t. You have to move on. Get on with your life. This is a halfway house. But you have to go out into the world all by yourself.”
She knew she sounded patronizing, but she believed in the program.
“I told you once before I have a mother, I don’t need you mothering me.”
His voice was hard.
“Devon, this is all artificial. When your time is up, you’ll leave. A few days after that, another guest will join us. That’s the way the program works. When Jed and Kat’s and the other’s terms are finished, they’ll move on.”
Saying goodbye was always hard. But she’d done it before and would continue to do so. Success with these kids made all the difference.
He looked at her in exasperation. “I’m damned if I understand you. I think we should give it a try,” he said.
“There’s too much against it,” she said, pulling back and sitting up in the swing. “You haven’t done anything in more than three years but mark time. You need to see new people, write your books, find someone you want to spend your life with. Not hang around a woman who values her own independence. You’re young, you need to get on with life and not hide from it here.”
“And you,” he snapped back. “What about you? You’re not old. You’re the same age as I am. What have you done with your life? First tied to an old man while other women were out falling in love, having babies and seeing the world. Once you were free, you cloister yourself out here in the back of beyond caring for disadvantaged kids on whom you lavish your attention and then let go. I think you’re scared. Too scared to make any kind of commitment.”
“I’m doing what I want, Devon. This isn’t some passing fancy. I’ve been involved in Fresh Start for almost five years. Please, don’t spoil what we have, Devon. It’s special.”
“And that’s supposed to be enough. A few more weeks together, then goodbye?”
She nodded, turning her face so he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes, hoping he wouldn’t demand she speak now when her throat ached with unshed tears and her breathing was shallow and faint.
“A few weeks,” Devon repeated.
He could get her to change her mind. He would bide his time, make himself indispensable. He’d help with the others, learn more about ranching so he’d become invaluable. She wouldn’t want him to leave when his time was up. The pretty jailer would release him from his bonds, but keep him shackled to her side through her own sweetness.
Tally awoke the next morning in a great mood. Her heart blooming in love and joy, she hugged the memories of yesterday. She’d never been in love before and wanted to treasure every moment.
Yesterday his face had looked so relaxed, his skin deeply tanned from working in the yard. His lips were soft and sensual. She remembered the feel of them against her skin, against her own mouth and her heart began beating faster.
Once showered and dressed, Tally headed for the kitchen. She noticed the wall calendar as soon as she entered. Greeting Alberta absently, she headed toward it, calculating. Thirty-seven more days until Devon left. It didn’t seem possible. That was all the time she’d have? Her heart stopped for a second, then surged. Only thirty-seven more days and he’d be gone. It would come too soon.
Tally was resolved to let him go when his time was up. She soaked up every word Devon said, storing memories for the future. She watched him when she hoped he didn’t know. Careful to be prudent around the others, she spent every moment in his company she could without causing undue comment.
But she held some of herself back. Holding back against the hurt she knew would come because she loved him. He was fond of her. And she could see it as they shared tasks together. It was in his eyes, in the way he watched out for her. But she wouldn’t embarrass him nor herself by assuming there was more.
The week flew by. One afternoon, she took cold drinks out to the men. Devon and Rusty were replacing some of the railing on the corral fence. The day was hot and dry.
“Iced tea?” she asked holding up two frosty glasses.
“A lifesaver, Tally,” Rusty said, tucking his gloves into his side pocket and reaching gratefully for the glass.
“Sounds great,” Devon said, reaching for his glass.
His fingers caressed hers as he took it.
“Who was the guy here earlier?” he asked as he leaned against the fence and studied Tally. He liked her hair, liked the way the soft curls twined around his fingers when they were alone and he could touch her as he wanted.
“Alan Peters from Fresh Start. He makes unannounced inspections from time to time.”
Devon hated being reminded why he was here. For a moment the memories of the past few weeks disappeared.
Anger flared, anger at Sheila, at the situation, even at Tally.
“He reported on how well Kat and Ariel are doing at their jobs in town. He’d talked to their supervisors. Then he wanted to see everyone’s room. We didn’t enter any of them, just peeked in the door. He has a theory if people take care of their home, they’ll take care of themselves. Yours was the neatest room.”
Devon said nothing, but his lips tightened. Another reminder he was not a free man.
“He also wanted to know how you were doing in ranching. He has some names of possible employers for you,” she said evenly, glancing over at Rusty.
He had moved into the shade by the barn. She didn’t think he could hear them.
“So why didn’t you just tell him I already had something lined up? If this second book sells, maybe I can consider a career in writing.”
“First of all, it’s not my place telling him your business. If you want him to know that, you tell him. In the second, you came up with this proposal for working on a ranch. This organization is trying to help you. He’s doing his job, to the best of his ability.”
“Unlike I did mine, is that it?” Devon said, anger and shame mixed in his expression.
“I never said anything like that. Why are you looking for slights that aren’t there? The whole purpose of this program is to help people.”
“Help them, or control them? For all intents and purposes, I’m still in jail. If I decided to get in your truck and drive away, you’d call the cops. Right?”
“You signed up for this program. You knew what it was about going in. Don’t stay if you don’t want to.”
It all meant nothing! She’d done her best and he still had the same chip on his shoulder as when he’d arrived. He still saw her as a jailer. For a moment Tally’s knees threatened to collapse. She couldn’t breathe. How dare he consider her nothing more than a jailer.
“And by night be back in prison.”
“No way, Devon. You can’t go back to something you never left!” she said, staring straight back at him.
“What are you talking about?”
“You carry that prison around with you. You left the walls behind, but not the bars. You made a mistake. A big one, actually. But the State of California deemed three years of your life suitable reparation. You’ve paid for that mistake. Put it behind you and move on.”
He thrust the empty glass at her and let go. She caught it before it fell.
“Leave me alone.”
Turning, he yanked on his leather gloves and picked up the next rail.
“You ready, Rusty?” he called.
Tally gathered Rusty’s glass and headed back to the kitchen, uncertainty building. Would he try to leave? Would she have to call and report him gone? She’d had confrontations from time to time with her other guests, but her own emotions hadn’t been so entangled. She’d been able to handle their blowups better. But with Devon, it was much more personal.
When Tally came for dinner, she looked at Devon’s place. His empty place.
“Where’s Devon?”
“Went out to check on one of the wells after we finished the corral,” Rusty said, reaching for the huge bowl of stew Alberta had started around.
“Shouldn’t he be back by now?”
She couldn’t help remember his words about leaving. He hadn’t, had he? If he pushed her, she’d fight back. Much as she cared for him, she also cared for the program. It was her way of remembering her brother. Of dealing with his youthful death. She’d give Devon every benefit, but at some things she drew the line. Escaping before his time was up was one of them.
“He’ll be along,” Gus said, looking at Tally. “Problem?”
She shrugged and shook her head. Forcing a smile, she glanced around the table at the others. She wouldn’t raise any suspicions. At least not now.
But by bedtime she was really worried. Everyone knew something was wrong. Devon should have returned long ago. Tally couldn’t concentrate on the comedy playing on the television. She kept listening for the sound of his footsteps, the sound of a horse being ridden.
“Do you suppose he got lost?” Jed asked, picking up on her unease.
“Or hurt?” Ariel asked. She was lying on the floor. Looking up at Tally, she rolled over to see her better. “Maybe we should all saddle up and go out like a posse.”
“Posses are for chasing bad guys,” Brad said
Smiling wryly, Ariel nodded. “Aren’t we all?”
“No!” Tally said firmly. “You are not bad guys. And you might be right, Ariel, he could be hurt.”
She hoped it was that. Not that she wanted him injured, but it beat having him leave.
“So, we go look for him?”
“Where would we start? How would we see? It’s pitch-black outside.” Jed said. “Would lanterns or flashlights be enough?”
“Do you know where he went?” Kat asked. “This is a huge ranch, and I don’t see how we could even begin if we didn’t have a good idea of where to look.”
“Good point, Kat. If we do decide to mount a search for him tonight, I want you all to stay here. I’ll have Rusty and Tomas and Gus go. No sense in all of us going out there and running the risk of getting lost or hurt.”
“I can help,” Brad said quietly.
“I’d want to go, Tally,” Jed added.
“Me, too. Didn’t you say we’re like a family?” Ariel said, sitting up. “Devon can be a pain in the butt when he’s passing out assignments. And he’s such a stickler for doing the best we can. But he’s part of the group.”
Kat looked at her hands and sighed.
“If I break a nail because of this, heads will roll!”
Tally almost laughed. But she was touched more than she could say. Even Kat wanted to join in the search. What if it were all for naught? What if Devon had left, just cut out early to be away from all reminders? How would that affect these kids who were trying so hard to turn around their lives?
If he’d pulled out, she’d never forgive him.