The darkness and tranquillity was alluring, just what she need after spilling out the tales of her mother to Luke. Leaving behind the terrace-houses, Jade stepped onto the grass, climbed the slight incline, and joined the path on the meadow. Guided only by the moonlight, Jade used her memories as an aid. Once upon a time, it had been a frequently visited spot, back when she was part of a happy family unit.
It had been within walking distance from their house, and often, on a weekend, especially when her mother was pregnant with John, she had insisted upon taking regular walks. For some reason her pregnancy had eased her symptoms of the arthritis, and those few months had been the best she had had for years. However, as soon as the baby was born, her pain and stiffness returned with vengeance.
Jade’s memories contorted her face. She had been twelve years old and had found it difficult listening to her mother’s pained cries, especially during the night when her agony seemed to peak. Nancy had moaned in a bitter desperation, willing with the searing agony into retreating. She had paced the bedroom, she had yelled out expletives, and she had locked her fingers between her jaw, fighting her adrenalin.
Wanting only to remove herself to a calmer place, Jade had buried herself in dark, inconspicuous spots. Still the sounds gnawed at her goodwill. She hated her mother’s illness and wanted it gone, and she hated her mother for screaming out so blatantly. Not only was she upsetting herself, but she was also upsetting everyone else in the house. She needed telling and could hold back no longer.
Jade stomped to her mother’s bedroom and swung open the door. ‘Stop it!’
Nancy turned around, surprised at the intrusion.
‘Not everyone wants to hear you’re suffering! You’re being selfish.’
She nursed her arms and scrunched her face.
‘No one can sleep because of you. Do something about it, or go elsewhere.’
Back in her bed, Jade pulled the covers to her neck, and listened for whimpers and heavy steps. All she could hear was a gentle snuffling sound coming from Kath’s bed, and even though it was not as sound she wanted to hear, the fact that is was the only sound was gratifying.
It was only later that Jade discovered she had done her mother a massive favour. Not only had Nancy been so wrapped up in her pain that she had been oblivious to the noise she had made, but she also hadn’t realised how her behaviour had perpetuated her agony, and how the more her blood flowed the more agonising her joints had become.
In time, Nancy had learned to fight the pain with calmness and distraction, teaching herself meditation, a valuable aid that took her to a place of tranquillity. She spoke of her journeys and how she floated pain-free over the hilltops and lakes, praising the power of the mind. Had it all been an act? Had her mother ever mastered her pain? It seemed not, not given her suicide.
Jade’s chest heaved. She stopped at a wall, leaned into the cold stone and stared to beyond the shadowy woodland to the twinkling house lights in the distance. Straining her eyes in the darkness, she searched for the gap in the wall. Edging forward in tiny steps, and scanning the path for obstructions, she made slow progress. However, as soon as she joined another path, one that was illuminated by lights at the rear of large detached houses, her steps quickened and her thoughts wandered.
With her mother’s illness and death still on her mind, the amnesia was, at times, an infuriating block. Whilst she could understand forgetting something as traumatic as a house fire, she could not understand why the events leading up to her mother’s death were also blank. If the memory of the discovery of her drowned mother in the bath had returned, why was the rest still obscured? Were the details more significant?
It seemed likely.
Fearing what was hidden, she reminded herself that, according to the facts, her mother had committed suicide and Kath had assisted. It was a terrible thing for her sister to do, and whilst she must have had good intentions, she had been placed in a juvenile detention centre for her actions.
Jade’s heart grew heavy. It was not something they had ever spoken about, but perhaps it was time they did. Tensing at the thought and with her panic welling up inside, she concluded it would not be practical until more of her memories returned. She would only be adding to her sister’s grief unnecessarily, and she would have nothing to offer in return.
Easing aside her turmoil, she walked along a path and peered into the woodland. It was still and silent; there was no movement in the canopy and no sign of prying eyes peeking from behind the tree trunks. She felt safe and reassured, but immediately she chastised herself for such a ridiculous thought. Her stalker could still be out there; he could be ready to grab her.
Her steps quickened. She hurried along a track, away from her intended route to a river, where she had sought tranquillity and thinking time, and to a playground that was better illuminated. The streetlight and house lights were a welcome relief from her agonising doubts, and feeling a little safer, she stopped peering over her shoulder and scanned the vista.
The field was about the size of a football pitch, and had goalposts at both ends. There was a paved walkway around the perimeter, and at the far corner was the playground. The woodland extended along two sides, a road was on another, and a row of semi-detached houses along the fourth side. Bar a man walking two dogs on the opposite path, she was alone.
Slipping her hands into her pockets, she gazed at the night sky. It was a beautiful evening, calming and reassuring, and the stars twinkled and the crescent moon peeked from behind a drifting cloud. Back when she had been homeless, she had spent many an hour gazing into the vastness, and depended upon its consistency for a soothing influence. Some things she could rely upon; some things never changed.
Enjoying the solace, Jade sat upon a bench, stretching out her legs and folding her arms, and sought familiar sights in the sky. One of the men she had shared a fire with had known much about astronomy, and had pointed to Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Cassiopeia, Persueus, and other constellations. During her time, she had seen planets, meteor showers, and the Andromeda galaxy, and had counted hundreds of stars to send her to sleep. The beauty and vastness of the night sky was bewildering. It was a perfect antidote to the recent and stressful interview with Luke Adams.
There was more to come. Her chest tightened and her eyes gazed. Wanting to keep her mind free of the agony, she focused on a star in the blackened night sky and told herself to be strong. She breathed slowly, in and out, in and out, and reminded herself she had endured much worse.
A movement close by caught her eye causing Jade to jerk. A small terrier dog approached and then sniffed around her heels and in her bag, and a little distance away was a teenage boy. He had straight lank hair, large thick-framed glasses, ill-fitting black trousers and padded shiny jacket. He looked a bit of a dork.
‘She’s harmless,’ he said, his gaze shifting between her and his dog.
Jade nodded. ‘She just took me by surprise.’
‘Her name’s Maisie. She’s my best friend.’
Jade leaned over and stroked her soft curly fur. The dog’s tail swished, causing a chill to grip her leg, and her muzzle pressed into her hand, searching, craving. ‘She’s a lovely little dog.’
‘My mum hates her . . . keeps threatening to get rid.’
‘Is she naughty?’
‘No. Mum’s just mean. Maisie would never do wrong. She’s outside in a kennel most of the time. She’s only allowed inside with me.’
Jade was pensive. From the distress in the boy’s expression, it was obvious he had problems, but these issues seemed a little personal to be divulging to a stranger. Still, if he needed an ear what harm could it do?
‘Some people just don’t like dogs,’ she said.
‘Do you?’
‘I’ve never had one.’
‘You would. They’ll love you for always, and never betray you. Not like people.’
‘Then maybe it’s just what I need.’
‘Is someone hurting you?’
Jade hid her face. She should have been more careful and regretted her statement.
He was staring, waiting, and there was a puzzling determination in his gaze.
‘Everyone has problems,’ she said, ‘I think what matters is how you deal with them.’
‘I don’t deal with Mum very well. Everything I say is wrong. I hate her . . . Dad too. He never stands up to her. She’s nasty to everyone.’
‘Those are harsh words.’
He held a strong-willed gaze.
‘Why do you hate them so much?’
‘She’s always calling me names and criticises everything I do, from the clothes I wear to the music I listen to.’
‘Hmm. I think you should be allowed to express yourself, even if it doesn’t fit in with what others want.’
He looked to her and paused. ‘You’re nice.’
‘I think you are too. What’s your name?’
‘Dylan.’
‘I’m Jade.’
An awkward silence filled the air. Maisie explored the grass, following a trail, and stopped to absorb a scent.
‘Mum doesn’t care about my opinions,’ he said, ‘she doesn’t want me around.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true.’
‘It is. She often tells me I’m a leech.’
Jade thought the term a bit harsh, yet withheld her disapproval and forced an impassive expression. ‘Has she problems of her own?’
‘No, but as far as she’s concerned, the world revolves around her.’
‘There must be something you like about her.’
‘She lies to me all the time . . . always has done. So has Dad. I can’t forgive them for that.’
‘I doubt their intentions are deliberate. Perhaps they think they’re protecting you.’
‘I don’t like being lied to. I’m an adult. I should be told the truth.’
Dylan hurried towards Maisie, grabbed her collar and attached her leash. Jade sensed he was hiding an anguished expression, and even though they had only just met, she wanted to help him. He was someone else’s child. It could be Kelsey.
‘Maybe you should try talking to them.’
‘Do you have any children?’
‘One.’
Dylan waited for her continue, holding his stare.
‘Her name’s Kelsey. She’s nearly thirteen.’
‘Then she’s lucky.’
He strode away. Jade leapt to her feet, baffled by his abrupt departure. She was intent on following him but then thought better of it. He was a stranger and she didn’t really want to get involved in his troubles; she had enough of her own.
‘Good luck,’ she called.
He did not reply, and strode into the darkness.
She returned to the bench and watched his figure fade, and wondered if his parent’s knew about his anguish. She wondered about Kelsey.
They had spoken on the phone since Jade’s interrogation, but Kelsey had refused to talk about the situation with the pestering boy and had threatened to end the call if the subject was broached. Jade had obliged, although unwillingly. Was Kelsey, like Dylan, keeping her troubles private? She hoped not.
With no option other than to trust, and feeling a need to go home to a hot chocolate and a late film, and hopefully to William who should have returned from another session at work, she lifted her bag from the ground. Deciding to return to her car via a safer route, she followed the path to the main road.
Her phone started to ring.
Jade’s pulse accelerated. Dreading it was the stalker she left the phone in her bag and hurried along the road and onto an adjoining street.
It continued to sound, grinding her resilience.
Quickening her steps and urging it to stop, she peered into her bag and stared at the little light. The caller was not willing to relent.
Giving in, she snatched it from her bag. It was Joe. Excitement was swift to replace fear.
‘Hi Joe.’
‘Is everything all right? I thought-’
‘Holy moly. We were meant to meet. I’m really sorry. I had an important meeting and-’
‘No worries.’
‘You sure? I’d really like to meet you. How about tomorrow, same time?’
‘Can’t. How about Monday?’
‘Fine, and I am sorry, I should have let you know. I’ll explain what’s going on when I see you.’
‘You don’t have to.’
‘I’d like to. Look, I can talk right now, I’m just heading home. I’ve been out for a walk to clear my head. In fact, I’m not far from where you used to live, near the playground.’
‘Oh, right. What’s taken you there?’
‘Memories . . . family stuff.’
‘Right.’
‘We’ll talk later, and I promise I’ll be there this time.’
‘Great, see you then.’
‘Bye.’
With a silly grin on her face, she retrieved her car keys from her bag and opened the car door. For a few moments, she sat in the car with the phone still in her hand and gazed blindly at the road. As she recalled the conversation in her mind, a warm sensation swept through her body. It was wonderful to listen to Joe’s voice, the depth of his tone and the way he emphasised certain words and syllables; it was wonderful just to speak to him again.
She placed the phone on the passenger seat and started the car.
The phone sounded an incoming message. Believing it to be Joe, she opened it up. This time it was the stalker.
‘It’s not safe in the woods at night, but I’ll protect you. Oh, and I hope you like my gift.’
Jade’s skin turned cold. She dropped the phone into her bag, hiding it from view and looked over both shoulders. She could not see anyone loitering, nor could she see anything in her vehicle that shouldn’t be there. Hoping that the gift was a prank designed to cause fear, she pulled the car out of the parking spot.
All the time, her heart pounded. Was he waiting for her? Had he left something destructive at the house? Was William okay? The answers seemed a world away.