Kath sat at the kitchen table, her head in her hand, and stared at the telephone. In the background, the television sound with high-pitched singsong voices reassured her Chloe and Lily were being entertained. It was a small mercy, but one that caused her guilt to rise. She had been away from them all day, trailing the streets looking for a job, and had left them with her mother-in-law. Now, reunited, she should want to be with her daughters, instead she wanted a quiet time.
They were demanding and required her entire attention, not something she felt she could give right now. Often, they talked over each other, both wanting something different, both draining her good will. They could not understand compromise or patience, and had no ability to comprehend her methods. If one day she gave in to Chloe at the cost of Lily, then the following day she would do the reverse. But to them, time did not exist. Only the present mattered, and her efforts to share her attentions gone unnoticed. Discord was often the outcome.
At least for the moment, with the aid of the artificial baby-sitter, harmony was restored. It provided Kath with a few minutes of thinking time, and even though she knew she should use it to self-motivate, her mind wandered to the hardship she endured.
She had visited the job centre and agencies, as well as calling into at least twenty shops looking for a job. It had become a regular habit and she targeted different places on different days, whilst she left it at least a week before visiting the same place, some of the staff recognised her. On several occasions, even before she had a chance to speak, the negative response came forth with a shake of the head. It was a demoralising process. She was wasting her time, and it felt as though she was she was simply presenting herself for a beating.
However, today Kath had succeeded in getting an interview at a ladies clothes shop, a perfect fit to her requirements. She should be happy, but she had been in the same position before, and it had never transpired, and aside from her criminal record, this time she blamed her poor interview technique. Knowing she had messed up, she glanced to the phone, awaiting the call that she had been promised.
A scream resonated through the house, followed by screechy voices and pained cries.
Kath dashed into the living room. Chloe and Lily were fighting, their faces red and angry. She yanked them apart.
‘What’s going on?’
‘She hit me,’ Chloe said, surging forward.
‘Did not.’
‘Did too.’
Lily swung her arms and kicked out her legs. She was aiming for her sister but caught Kath on her legs.
‘Stop it, both of you. Chloe, sit there, and Lily you sit there.’
Lily did as she was told, but Chloe folded her arms and scowled. Determined to gain control, Kath encouraged her to the end of the sofa where she remained in a bundle, but by then Lily had abandoned her seat and was standing at Kath’s rear smirking.
‘Back to your seat,’ Kath instructed.
She moved in a shuffle.
‘Chloe, what happened? And I want the truth.’
‘She hit me.’
Kath turned to Lily. ‘Did you?’
‘She hit me first.’
‘Did not.’
‘Did too.’
It was several minutes before Kath got a handle of the situation, or at least she thought she had, but then, for no apparent reason, Lily kicked over a vase of flowers that were situated on the hearth. The water spread across the carpet and the daffodils scattered. Kath was assessing the damage when the fighting restarted. It was then that the phone sounded. She tried to assert her dominance, but she did not do it quickly enough and the phone stopped ringing.
Her anger rose. She screamed at the girls, her blood rising, and yanked them into a sitting position, one at each end of the sofa. Their small bodies quivered and tears streamed down their faces, but Kath was in too much in a rage to notice, and in a show of anger, lifted the vase and flowers from the floor and screamed out her disapproval. Getting no response, she smashed it against the concrete surface. It broke into several pieces. The little girls hid their faces.
Eyes bore into her. She looked up. Liam was standing in the doorway. ‘Kath?’
‘I’ve had enough of those two.’
She elbowed past. Luke and Imogen were standing in the hallway, embarrassment lining their faces.
Luke looked to the carpet near his feet in the living room. He wanted to vanish and hated having to witness difficult family moments. Imogen, on the other hand, did not appear to be troubled in the slightest, and chatted easily, first to Liam, and then to the two tearful girls who gripped his legs. After a few moments, he had cleaned up the mess and settled his daughters in front of the television, presenting them with drinks and a biscuit.
Kath still had not reappeared, having rushed up the stairs. Luke glanced to the doorway wondering what to do.
‘She’ll be back soon enough,’ Liam said.
Luke frowned, feeling obligated to stay. He would rather leave and rearrange their meeting, reasoning Kath would be in no mood for an interrogation.
‘She has a bit of a temper,’ he continued, ‘she’s had counselling in the past. It’s the first time she’s lost it in months.’
Uncomfortable, he looked towards Imogen and the girls.
‘She’d never hurt them.’
Choosing not to respond, and after what felt like a prolonged awkward silence, footsteps sounded on the staircase. Imogen leapt from her seat and hurried into the corridor to greet Kath, and immediately empathised with her for the difficulties of being a mother of twins. Luke remained seated, fearing Imogen was being a bit forward, but when the tension in Kath’s voice dissipated and a smiley face appeared at the doorway, he was grateful for her direct approach. He followed them to the kitchen.
‘I’m sorry you had to witness that,’ Kath said.
‘Think nothing of it,’ Imogen said.
‘They made me miss an important call . . . I was hoping for a job offer.’
‘I’m sure they’ll ring back.’
Kath didn’t look convinced. ‘I was sacked a few weeks ago . . . unfairly. Someone planted stolen goods in my bag. I discovered them when my supervisor asked to search my bag. Of course, they didn’t believe I was innocent. Why would they when I already have a record?’
‘That’s tough. Do you know who did it?’
‘I have my suspicions. They’d been rumours at the store that they wanted to lay off staff. I was popular with the customers, and a hard worker, whereas one of my colleagues wasn’t. I suspect it was her – she wanted to keep her job.’
‘Did you fight your corner?’
‘I tried, but as I said I have a record.’
‘What about suing for unfair dismissal?’
Kath shook her head. ‘No one will believe me. They never have done before. I must have a face with a shifty look.’
‘I believe you,’ Imogen said, ‘I don’t see why others wouldn’t.’
She stared, disbelieving. ‘I don’t want the hassle. I . . . I’m trying to get rid of negative thoughts. I think the process will just work me up.’
‘Fair enough.’ Imogen glanced to Luke. ‘If you change your mind we can put you in touch with someone.’
Kath mouthed her gratitude.
‘Now, about Jade,’ Luke said. ‘What’s your relationship like?’
‘Tense. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.’
‘Do you know why?’
She shook her head.
‘Did you stay in touch after the fire?’
Kath fiddled with her fingers. ‘No.’
‘Okay. Do you know where was she staying?’
‘No. I saw her hanging out in town once with some deadbeats . . . that’s all I know.’
‘Did you recognise any of them?’
‘One of them. He did a bit of gardening on our street . . . helped some bloke.’
‘What was his name?’
She averted her gaze and brushed her hand across her face. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Can you describe him?’
‘He was late teens, scruffy appearance . . . a nonconformist.’
‘Did Jade know him before the tragedy?’
‘I don’t think so. She didn’t spend much time socialising. She was always helping Mum.’
‘Wouldn’t she have seen him gardening?’
‘No. She didn’t spend much time outside. She was always so focused on returning home to Mum and the boys.’
Luke persisted with his questioning, trying to gather as much information as possible about the man, but he acquired little else. Kath either didn’t know any more, or didn’t want to speak about it. He had to let the issue drop.
‘When did you and Jade meet up again?’ he asked.
‘It was a few years later. I saw her when I was out shopping, but it was a bit awkward. Nevertheless, we exchanged details. It was a while before we met up again.’
‘Did she contact you?’
‘No. It was the other way around. At first, she made a few excuses. I think I wore her down and she felt obliged. We had drinks but she was in a hurry to leave. She only stayed half an hour or so and then left. It’s how it’s always been.’
‘And you don’t know why she acts like that?’
‘No.’
‘Do you mind me asking what you talked about?’
‘She told me about William and Kelsey, and I told her I was with Liam. It was before the girls were born.’
‘Did you talk about the fire?’
Kath looked to her lap. ‘No.’
‘Or your mother?’
‘No.’ Kath hurried to the worktop, retrieved a glass, and took a swig of water.
‘Did you want to?’
Her back was turned. She was staring out of the window to the small yard. ‘Not really.’
‘What about now?’
She turned around, leaning against the worktop and keeping the glass close to her face. ‘I’ve tried. She doesn’t say much. She’s lost her memories.’
‘That’s right. She has dissociative amnesia . . . it’s not that unusual in tragic circumstances.’
‘It’s convenient, isn’t it?’
‘Why do you say that?’
Kath jolted. Luke wondered if she hadn’t intended to speak aloud, and felt a small sense of success rise through his body. It was only when she spoke freely that he would ascertain the truth. He concentrated his gaze, willing her to expand.
She relented to his persistence. ‘Isn’t it obvious? I’d like to forget something like that too.’
Luke nodded. It was a logical explanation.
‘Did Jade play a part in the tragedy?’
Kath held a controlled expression. ‘No.’
‘How do you know? I didn’t think you were present.’
She scratched a persistent itch, then crossed her legs and folded her arms. ‘I’ve seen the facts.’
‘Did you speak to your father before he died?
‘He told me he had started the fire.’
‘And that was it?’
‘That was it.’
‘Would you say Jade was the favoured daughter?’
Kath relaxed her limbs. ‘Definitely. They thought she was perfect . . . never had a flaw to her name.’
‘So he may have been covering for her.’
She stared, either scrutinising his motives or holding onto an outburst, Luke could not be sure which. Either way, he concluded she knew more than he let on.
‘Do you think it’s possible?’ he asked again.
‘Could be. It fits.’
‘How does that make you feel?’
Bitterness crept into her voice. ‘It doesn’t surprise me. Jade was an angel in their eyes. They’d have done anything for her.’
‘Would he have done the same for you?’
Kath jerked. ‘I thought we were talking about Jade. You know, it makes sense now. Dad must have been covering for her. What a rotten bitch! How could she do such a thing? She deserves what’s coming to her.’
Luke watched and listened. She was anxious, and could not spit out the words quickly enough. She also seemed to be getting hot, and her skin at her neckline was turning patchy red.
‘I’ve tried so hard to be nice to Jade,’ she continued, ‘and for what? What do I ever get out of anything? Jade was such a princess . . . could never do wrong. Take the other day. We had agreed to go for a drink and she tried to escape without been noticed. Does she think I’m stupid or something, or is it she doesn’t think I’m worth speaking to? Just because I’m not as rich as her, doesn’t mean I’m less worthy.’
‘What has she actually done to hurt you so much?’
Kath jumped to her feet and glared. ‘Nothing! She’s done nothing!’
‘Is that the problem?’
‘What?’
‘Should she have done something?’
Kath hurried to her kitchen door, holding it open. ‘I think we’re done here.’
Luke tried to calm her down, but she wasn’t happy, so he signalled Imogen to assist. Her jovial manner and convivial approach lightened the atmosphere, and very quickly, he felt as though he was in the position to resume the interview. However, before he had a chance the telephone sounded. Kath answered and a brief conversation ensured. It was bad news; she wasn’t offered the job she had hoped for and despondency spread across her face. Imogen voiced her sympathies, and with kind and motivating words attempted to keep her upbeat. Nonetheless, it was evident that the lack of a job offer had hit her hard.
‘Up until a few weeks ago everything seemed to have turned around,’ she said to Imogen, ‘I had a great job and a wonderful family. I was even seeing more of Jade, which, believe it or not, is what I want.’
‘She means a lot to you then?’ Imogen asked.
‘She’s the only family I have. I thought I saw signs we were starting to re-connect. Evidently, I was wrong.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘A few weeks ago it appeared she’d stopped making excuses to meet, but then, out of the blue turned me down claiming she was going to play tennis. I hung around in the clubhouse for the entire evening, waiting for her. She never turned up. It was all lies.’
‘Do you know why she does this?’
‘She just doesn’t want to talk to me.’
‘Why do you think that is?’
‘I don’t know. We’ve never gotten on, but we are family. She matters to me. I’ve tried to force her hand, but nothing works. I think she’s thick-skinned or something.’ Kath held her head in her hands.
Luke checked his notes as the women chatted. He was starting to sympathise with Kath and it was turning him against Jade. That was not good news. He needed a more assertive approach and could not be drawn into taking sides.
‘Jade told us you once said, “If I can forgive and forget, I’m sure you can.” What did you mean?’
Kath flinched. ‘I never said that.’
‘She was certain you did . . . at the tennis club. She said it’s emblazoned in her mind.’
‘If I did it was a mistake. I was probably angry with her over something.’
‘Why would that be?’
‘She always makes everything so difficult.’ Kath stiffened, her neck extending. ‘She cuts me out and lies to me. I’ve told you all this.’
‘Even so, you must have had a reason for claiming you’d forgiven her.’
‘I don’t remember saying it.’
Luke raised his fist to his mouth. She had regained her composure; it was pointless pursuing the matter. ‘Did you get along with your family?’
Kath held a cold stare. ‘I didn’t want them dead, if that’s what you mean.’
‘And your mother?’
‘You know about my conviction. There’s nothing more to be said.’
Luke hesitated. She had the same look in her eye that she had when she spoke of her dismissal from work. She felt hurt, betrayed and unloved, and consequently suffered deep within. He considered Jade’s account of their family life and how Kath was so often reviled, and suddenly felt a need to hear her explanation of events.
‘I’d like to hear your account of the situation,’ he said softly.
‘Would you?’
‘Yes I would.’
Kath took a deep breath. He leaned back into the chair.