Chapter 10

Adeline finished the lesson, and the men bolted from the building like children. Their conversation and laughter echoed around the clearing. The sunshine seemed to make the sounds brighter. Since the constant drilling was over, they seemed to get more enjoyment out of their lessons. She watched them and thought about how they seemed like a family. For some, this was the only family they had.

And if they were a family, today Elim was the moody father.

He helped her stack her books in silence. When she collected them from him, she grasped his hands as well as the books. “What’s wrong?”

He seemed surprised by the question. “Nothing. I have a lot on my mind.”

“Like the white soldier you were staring at yesterday? You turned quite pale when you saw him. Who is he?”

He released the books into her hands. “It’s difficult to explain.”

She put the books on the pulpit and sat on the front pew.

“He’s my brother.”

Adeline gasped and pressed her hand to her heart. “You have a white brother?”

Elim shot a glance to the door. The men were still talking outside, oblivious to her and Elim. “My owner is my father and his father too. We grew up together and were as close as brothers could be. Until I found out that he was my brother.”

“You didn’t know?”

Elim shook his head. “I found out when my father gave me to my brother for his eighteenth birthday. And then I found out my father sold my mother after she gave birth to me. I was August’s slave for a year until we got into a fight, and then I realized I couldn’t stay.”

“Oh Elim.”

He lowered himself to sit on the pew beside her. “I was devastated. I thought I was August’s equal. I don’t know if it was guilt or what, but my father treated me better….” He exhaled. “And now August is here.”

“Have you talked to him?”

Elim let out a sharp laugh. “I’m his property. He could be here to collect me.”

She reached over and gently touched his arm. “Your brother is a Union soldier. I doubt he’s here for that.”

“You don’t know that for sure. Not everyone in the Union is fighting for the freedom of the slaves. Some are fighting to keep the country unified.”

She leaned closer. “You have to talk to him. He’s your brother.”

Anger flashed in Elim’s eyes, and she knew she had said the wrong thing. “He’s my owner. And the owner of other slaves. What is there to talk about?”

“If that was Michael …” She softened her voice.

Elim sprang to his feet. “This is not the same thing! This isn’t some happy reunion. He could force me back to his plantation.”

Private Chase bounded in the door. “Are we staying, sir?”

Elim quickly turned. “I’m on my way.”

Adeline grasped one of Elim’s shoulders. “Elim—”

He pulled away and left without looking back.

Elim didn’t know where he was going. His anger with Adeline clouded his vision and he walked more on impulse than intent. Her happy thought of him reconciling with August was ridiculous. She had a happy family. His family had lied and owned him. He wasn’t even family. He was property. What would he say to August? We should be brothers again? Things had changed since the war started. The world had changed. But with this battle going on, there was no plausible ending involving a relationship with August. Not between a white man and his Mulatto brother.

He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even notice that August had stepped into his path. “Sir.”

Elim’s vision straightened, and his muscles tensed. My owner is addressing me as “sir.” “Private.”

August relaxed, his old playful smile forming on his lips. “You’ve moved up in the ranks quickly.”

It had been three years since he ran away. Two since he joined the army. “Why are you here?” Elim asked through his teeth.

“Same as you. To fight for the Union.”

“I’m fighting for my freedom.”

August’s smile faded. “I’m here for that too.”

“But you’re talking to the slave you own.”

August reached inside his jacket. “Not anymore.” He produced a paper and held it out to Elim.

Elim didn’t reach for it.

August sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Your manumission paper.”

The air in Elim’s lungs whooshed out and he nearly doubled over. He took a step back.

“Please take them.”

Elim looked up at his brother, the man he’d spent most of his childhood reading and playing with.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to find you.” August lowered his arm a little, and the paper trembled. “Daddy forbade me to leave or he would disinherit me. It took me too long to realize I didn’t want what he had. So I did the one thing I could to prove I didn’t want it. I followed you into the army.”

Breathing became harder. “Is this supposed to erase all the pain?”

“No, but at least you will be fighting as a free man like me.”

Elim took the paper, unable to hide his shaking hands. “Did our father agree to this?”

August folded his arms. “I didn’t need my father’s permission. He gave you to me. I’m giving you to yourself.”

“Once I ran, I became a free man. This paper doesn’t repair what has been broken.”

August hung his head. “No. I don’t know if that’s possible.”

Despite wanting to run, Elim couldn’t get his feet to move. The man in front of him was his little brother. He’d spent many days playing and dreaming with him until he found out he belonged to him. That the man he called massa was his father and had separated him from his mother. The same anger simmered now. “No, it’s not. Now that I have my freedom, I don’t have to talk to you anymore.” He needed to leave before his anger got out of control.

August reached out and lightly grasped his shoulder. “Elim.”

Elim shook his hand off. “Don’t. Adeline—Miss Barris told me to talk to you. I knew it was a waste of time.”

“The teacher? Maybe she was right.” August splayed his hands out in front of him. “Look, I don’t know how to handle this. As far as I was concerned, you were my brother. And I told Father that. I left to find you. To apologize …” August’s words trailed off.

“For owning me? I don’t think there is an apology on earth for that.”

“I didn’t know,” August pleaded. “I thought Father really was going to treat you as a real son.”

Elim’s anger exploded. “Why did you think that when he owned other slaves? That’s all I was to him. A slave. Never a son. I was an oddity for him to show off and humiliate.”

August stood quietly while Elim regained his composure. He dropped his head. “That still doesn’t change the fact that I love you like a brother.”

The confession nearly crumpled Elim. He balled his fists against the rush of conflicting emotions. He had loved August like a brother too, even before he knew. August never treated him any differently than he would treat a brother, which was why it was such a shock when they both learned Elim’s status.

“I need time to think about this.”

August took a shuffling step back. “I understand. My regiment will be here for a month, I think. I would like to talk to you when you’re ready.”

Elim didn’t respond. He didn’t know if he’d ever be ready.