Chapter 6

Deborah pulled the pan of hot biscuits from the oven. Her ma set the jar of molasses and the plate of butter on the table. The oatmeal was about done and Timothy and Lily were due for breakfast soon. “Deborah, let’s sit and talk for a minute.” Her ma frowned as she pointed toward a kitchen chair. When Timothy had left with Lily the previous night, he’d been confused. She remembered the way he used to look whenever he was trying to figure something out. He was probably wondering why she’d turned down his offer to help.

Well, she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to explain her reasoning to him. His light brown eyes had been intense and sad when he’d said good-bye. She glanced at Ma and shook her head. Her ma would never understand what she was going through. How could she? “Timothy and Lily will be here for breakfast soon.”

“We have a few minutes. Sit down.” Deborah plopped into the seat and her ma sat beside her. Two tin cups of hot coffee rested on the table in front of them. The chicory smell of the brew soothed her. She took a sip. The hot coffee felt good going down her parched throat. Thank goodness Pa was feeling better this morning and was still out doing chores. She didn’t think she’d have the energy to discuss this with both of her parents at the same time. Her ma didn’t really sound angry, but she didn’t sound happy either. Deborah closed her eyes. Lord, I love my ma. Please give me the right words to explain this to her. Help her understand why I need to do this. Amen.

Ma folded her hands together. “Now, would you care to explain to me why you want to go to the women’s college? You know it’s best if you simply teach school. You should know that a smart woman can make a man feel uneasy.”

Tell the truth. The words filled her gut, her soul. She needed to let Ma know how she felt. Lord, please don’t let Ma get angry with me. “Ma, I don’t believe I’ll ever get married. I’m twenty-five, I’m smart, and I want to help people. Not all people are called to get married. Remember the Apostle Paul spoke about that in the Bible?”

“This has nothing to do with the Apostle Paul.”

“Yes, it does. You know how I try to live my life by following Jesus. The Apostle Paul talks about not being married. I’m an unmarried woman, and when I read Corinthians, I feel like God is giving me advice about being an unmarried lady. Ma, I’m not pretty like Eve. I know you’re ashamed of me. You’re proud that Eve got a husband and had a child, and it bothers you that I didn’t do either of those things.”

Ma grabbed her hand. “I’m not ashamed—”

Deborah pulled her hand away. “Yes, you are.” She wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her dress. She just couldn’t sit. She stood up and paced the kitchen. She just had to make Ma understand how she felt. She stopped walking and turned toward her mother. “Ma, I’m tall, skinny, and plain. I hear what folks in town say about me. I can’t help it if God made Eve beautiful and talkative and He made me quiet and plain. I think God wants me to study botany. I love plants. I made the decision to attend the college a year ago, shortly after Eve died.”

“Oh, you know I love you, Deborah. I’m not ashamed of you. You made this decision right after your sister died? Honey, maybe you should pray about this.”

She rushed to her seat and sat back down. “But Ma, I have prayed about this. Please, listen to me.” She swallowed another sip of coffee. “I’ve been hoarding my teaching salary and the money from my peppermint oil so that I can go to college. I’ve been studying out in my room behind the barn. That’s the secret I’ve been hiding from you.”

“Oh Deborah.” Oh no, Ma was crying. She swiped her tears away. “I just don’t know what to say.”

“This news isn’t sad. It’s a joy. I help people with my plants. You know this. It’s my calling. I can feel it deep in my bones.” She paused. “Think about all the folks I’ve helped so far. Just think about what I could do, what the Lord could allow me to do, if I went to college to study about plants.”

“Honey, I don’t know about this.”

The door swung open, the rusty hinges creaking. Timothy stood in the doorway, holding Lily’s hand. The sunlight splashed onto him, highlighting his good looks. She certainly could get used to seeing him in her kitchen every morning. His eyes pierced right through her. She gulped and pressed her hands together.

“Good morning.” He spoke the words to both her and Ma, but he looked directly at her.

“Good morning.” Thank God she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.

“Daddy, aren’t we going to go in?” Lily tugged at her father’s hand.

“Come on over here, honey.” Ma beckoned to Lily. The girl hugged her grandma before hugging Deborah.

He glanced at her and her ma. It wouldn’t surprise her if he realized they’d been in the middle of a serious discussion.

Pa strolled through the open doorway and they all took a seat at the table. After they’d said grace and enjoyed bowls of hot oatmeal laced with milk, butter, and molasses, and had consumed the hot biscuits and coffee, Timothy wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up. He looked at Deborah, surprising her with his warm smile. “Since this is Lily’s first day at school, I thought I’d walk the two of you to the schoolhouse and make sure she gets settled in properly.”

Whoa, she didn’t want the students to see them strolling together to school. Some of her students would mistakenly think he was her beau, wouldn’t they? She pushed the thought from her mind. Timothy was Lily’s father, and it wouldn’t raise suspicion for him to accompany his daughter to class for her first day of school. She was worrying for nothing. “Fine. Let me get my things.” After she’d gathered her dinner pail and placed her schoolbooks in her satchel, she tied her bonnet on her head and stepped outside.

Timothy strolled down the wooded path beside her. The strong scent of soap and hay wafted from him as they walked down the path. Lily skipped ahead of them. Timothy turned and looked at her. “Is your ma still upset?”

“Yes.” She took a deep breath as he focused on the trees for a few seconds. The sun splashed from the vivid blue sky as puffy white clouds moved in the heavens. A right beautiful day, but she’d enjoy it more if she didn’t have so much on her mind. “She wasn’t mad, but a bit sad because she doesn’t understand.” She didn’t want to confide to Timothy all that she’d discussed with her ma that morning.

“But you’re still going to college?” The urgency in his tone made her pause. He really wanted her to fulfill her dreams. She could hear it in his voice. She finally nodded as they approached the schoolhouse.

“Yes. Even if Ma and Pa object, I’m still going. As long as I pass the entrance exam and I have enough money, I’ll go.”

He stopped walking. Lily had run toward the schoolhouse when she spotted her new friend Abigail. The twosome held hands as they picked wildflowers. “Then let me help you study,” he said. “Do you think the folks in town will gossip if they discover that we’re spending time together? Are you afraid that it may be upsetting for you and your family since I’m Eve’s widower?”

Truth be told, she did feel a bit unsettled about spending so much time alone with her sister’s husband. Every time she looked at Lily, she was reminded of her sister’s beauty and charm. She sighed. She was highly bothered by her attraction to him. She didn’t want him to know the real reason she hesitated. She liked him, plain and simple, but she couldn’t let him know that.

“No, I don’t think the folks in town would gossip.”

“Well, from what I’ve heard, most college entrance exams are hard. I know mine was. Let me help you. I’ve often heard that some folks have to take the exam multiple times before they are admitted to college.” She widened her eyes and pushed her spectacles up on her nose. She hadn’t realized that the exam would be that hard. Could she really ignore her strong attraction to Timothy while he assisted her in studying for the exam? Lord, can I do this? Should I do this? She glanced at the children playing in the schoolyard.

“All right.”

He grinned, giving her a nice view of his perfect white teeth. Heaven help her, Timothy was even more attractive when he smiled. She needed to be sure he understood something. “We can study together for a little while. If I find that I study better on my own …”

His eyes sparkled with warmth. “Deborah, if my studying with you causes a problem, then we can stop. Deal?”

“Deal.” They shook hands. Her slender hand was dwarfed in his large one, and he continued to smile as they strolled toward the schoolhouse. Surprisingly, he walked up the steps with her into the building. He even escorted her to her desk. She then opened the top drawer of her desk and saw her book.

“Timothy, look! My book is here!” She pulled the book out of the drawer and found a note of apology tucked inside. The crudely scrawled note had obviously been penned by one of her younger students. There was no signature, but she didn’t care. She was just glad that she had her book back.

“Deborah, that’s wonderful. We can start studying together tonight after supper.”

As she watched Timothy walk away from the schoolhouse, she hoped she was making the right decision.