Chapter 11

Deborah plopped down at the kitchen table, exhausted. Timothy and Lily had just left, going back to their home. School had started that day. She’d loved being in the classroom, and it had been nice to see the children again. After supper, Timothy had again helped her study for the exam. It would be given in two weeks, and even though they’d lost study time during the quarantine, she still felt ready to take it.

As she put her study manual and botany book away, she recalled the conversation she’d had with Timothy the previous evening. What he’d told her bothered her deep within her gut.

Again, she thought about Lucy’s question, about Eve being kind. Had her sister been kind? She’d often thought of her twin as being self-centered. She’d thought Eve was like that since she was so beautiful, the same way Clara acted. But was she kind?

“Why are you looking so serious?” Ma came into the kitchen and settled into the empty chair beside her. “I’d think you’d be happy. You and Timothy worked hard to help care for the quarantine victims. Nobody died. You should be praising Jesus instead of looking sad. Are you upset about the exam? Deborah, just forget about that test.”

“Ma, you know how I feel about going to college.” She took a deep breath. Perhaps it would just take some time and patience for Ma to see reason and to really understand why she wanted to do this. “Ma, I wanted to ask you about Eve.”

“What about her?”

“Do you think she was kind?”

“Kind? Deborah, why are you asking me this?”

She told her mother about her conversation with Lucy. Ma sighed. “I think Lucy asked you that question because you told her that you’d spent time with Timothy and then he started courting Eve.”

“I never understood that. I really liked Timothy. He’s so smart and handsome. I could have a long conversation with him about plants and science and not get bored. Then he just started courting Eve and didn’t have time to spend with me anymore. It was so abrupt and sudden …” She jerked back, her eyes widening. “Ma, was Eve jealous because I was spending time with Timothy? Did she start flirting with him like Clara did? Ma, did Eve want to court Timothy simply because I was spending time with him?”

“Honey, we’ll never know for sure—” Her ma looked away, toward the floor.

“Ma …” Deborah sighed. “That’s why Lucy asked if she was kind. Eve only thought of herself. If Timothy hadn’t been spending time with me, would Eve still have wanted him to court her?”

“Deborah, you know your sister,” was all Ma would say.

After her ma had gone to bed, Deborah couldn’t stop the thoughts tumbling in her head just like the leaves falling from the trees. If Timothy had truly had feelings for her eight years ago, then he shouldn’t have been so easily swayed by Eve’s charms. Lucy had said that Timothy wanted her to be happy. Maybe he felt guilty not only about Eve’s death, but also about his actions eight years ago. Did he really enjoy spending time with her, or was he simply helping her to study for the exam to relieve his guilty conscience? Oh Lord, if ever I needed Your help, it’s now.

Timothy eyed Deborah as they walked toward the tall redbrick building at the women’s college where the test was being held. When they entered the building, they saw several women slowly strolling the long hallway, their footsteps echoing. Other ladies stood alone, open books in their hands. A lot of women had shown up to take the test.

Deborah was the only Negro.

Several of the women openly stared at her. Timothy ached to put his arm around her and let them know she had his support. He didn’t know if his showing his affection right before the exam would bother her or not. He certainly didn’t want to distract her right now.

“I can’t believe a Negro is taking the test,” one of the young ladies said, obviously wanting Deborah to hear her. This women’s college had just admitted its first Negro students two years ago.

Deborah ignored the comment. She’d initially wanted to come alone, but Timothy wouldn’t let her. Since the quarantine, she’d been quiet and reserved. He’d thought they were growing closer when they assisted the patients during those weeks, but it appeared things had changed since he’d told her about his dreams of Eve. He figured that was why she’d been quiet and moody. As she made her way into the testing room, he touched her hand. “I’ll be praying for you.”

“Thank you.” She looked directly into his eyes. It almost seemed as if she wanted to say something else. He touched her cheek, and then she went into the room with the rest of the women who were taking the test.

Several of the women openly glared at her as the proctor handed out the test booklet. Choosing to ignore them, Deborah closed her eyes while she clutched her pen. Lord, please help me do well on this test. When the signal was given and she began reading the first question, Timothy’s face popped into her mind. She recalled how he’d helped her study. For each question on the test, she thought about their studying at her kitchen table. She recalled his deep voice asking her some of these same questions from the book. She loved seeing the joy on his face whenever she got an answer correct. Knowing he was praying for her, even now, she continued through the test, finishing just before the proctor called out that time was up.

When Deborah exited the room after the test, she bit her lower lip, looking nervous. Timothy approached her as other women spilled out of the room. “What’s the matter?”

“I hope I did well.”

He touched her soft cheek again. “I’m sure you passed. Next year you’ll be a student at this college. Don’t let those ladies’ comments about your being a Negro bother you. God is behind you.” He took a deep breath. “If they give you trouble, share your faith with them. I don’t know if they’ll listen, but they need to know that you’re following your calling and that they are acting in an ungodly manner.”

“I’ll remember that if I attend this college.” She took a deep breath. “Thank you for escorting me to the test, Timothy.”

“I was happy to do it.” He’d had to reason with her so she would allow him to accompany her. He again recalled how she’d initially rejected his offer to help her study. He figured Deborah was used to being a loner and not always open to accepting help from others. Hopefully, she was learning that it was all right to allow others to assist her. After they’d exited the building, he gestured toward the restaurant across the street. “Would you like to share dinner with me?”

She shook her head, fingering the strings of her pretty red bonnet. “I’m not hungry. I want to go home.”

“Deborah, you haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.” He touched her shoulder. “You might get hungry once you’re in the restaurant and smell the food.”

He breathed with relief when she finally nodded and agreed to his invitation. He gently touched her back as they entered the small restaurant. The scent of meat and vegetables filled the air. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants before pulling out Deborah’s chair for her. She sat down, pushing her spectacles up on her lovely nose. He sat down across from her as the waitress approached the table. “We’re only serving stew and biscuits this afternoon. Would you like to order some?”

He’d heard they only served one meal each day. He smiled at the woman. “It smells delicious. Yes, we’ll order the stew and biscuits.”

She returned soon with tin cups of water. “I’ll be bringing your food shortly.”

Maybe now was the time to tell Deborah all that had been on his mind. Or maybe he should wait until after the meal? He honestly wasn’t sure how she’d react to what he had to say, so perhaps he should wait. He didn’t want to spoil her dinner by asking the question that had been burning in his mind like a hot biscuit.

The waitress returned to the table with tin bowls of stew as well as two spoons. He took Deborah’s lovely hand and they bowed their heads. “Lord, please be with us as we enjoy our meal. Thank You for allowing me the pleasure of having Deborah’s company today, and Lord, please let us hear positive results from Deborah’s exam. Amen.”

“Amen.” She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand before releasing it. The stew was delicious. The roasted meat, potatoes, and vegetables were swimming in thick salt-and-pepper gravy. Even though he was nervous, he managed to eat the entire bowl of stew, and Deborah appeared to enjoy hers as well. She dabbed her mouth with a napkin.

The waitress returned to the table. “We have cake for dessert. Did you want some?”

Deborah smiled. “I’d love some.”

Timothy looked toward the waitress. “Yes, please bring us two slices of cake.”

The yellow cake was served on a tin plate with a shiny, slightly lumpy frosting in a separate bowl. He sliced into the cake and popped a bite into his mouth. He then tasted the frosting. The sweet and tangy lemon flavor went well with the cake. When the waitress returned for their dirty dishes, he gestured toward their empty plates. “That cake was amazing. I’ve never tasted frosting like that. Usually you can’t find lemons around this time of year.” He could seldom get citrus fruits at any time.

“That’s lemon curd. Isn’t it good?”

“Yes, it’s wonderful.”

Deborah grinned. “It was delicious.”

Thank goodness she’d enjoyed her meal. Now he could focus on Deborah. She looked at him. “I guess we need to go home. I want to tell Ma and Pa about the exam.” She frowned just a bit.

“Your ma still doesn’t take to your going to the college?”

She shook her head. “She still doesn’t. I tried to make her understand, but Timothy, sometimes it’s just plain hard to reason with Ma.”

Unable to resist, he took her hand. Her eyes widened at their joined hands on the rough wooden table. “Deborah, I think your ma will understand eventually. You know that I understand what you are doing, and I think it’s wonderful that you’re following God’s calling.” He took a deep breath. “I spoke with your ma and pa last night. You were out in your shed making peppermint oil.”

“What did you speak to them about?” Curiosity tinged her lovely voice as she looked at him.

“I wanted to know if it was all right if I courted you. I sensed that we were on our way to being a couple when we were working together during the quarantine.”

She pulled her hand away. Oh no, that was not a good sign, not at all. Lord, please help me say the right words to Deborah. I’m falling in love with her, and I don’t think she realizes just how strongly I feel for her.

“Timothy. This is just so hard.”

What was she talking about? “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m a teacher. I’m not allowed to have a beau.”

He sighed. “Well, I believe you’ll get into college. I highly doubt you’ll be renewing your teaching contract.”

“Well, that’s true.” She bit her lower lip and looked away.

“What’s the matter?”

“There are a lot of things that bother me.”

He widened his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation. “Do you mean there are things about me that bother you, or are you speaking about something else?”

“There are things about you that bother me. It would be difficult for me to be courted by you if I know you have guilty feelings about Eve’s death. Do you still feel guilty about that?”

He sighed. If he’d never told her about his guilty feelings, would she have been more open to being courted by him? “Yes, I do, but—”

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Talk to somebody about it. It’s not right for you to feel that way. Maybe talk to the pastor or … somebody. My pa is pretty easy to talk to. Tell him. Feeling guilty like that will make you sad. I don’t know if I’d want to be courted by you if you’re still dreaming about my sister. Maybe you’re still grieving for her and you’re simply not ready to court somebody else yet.”

He looked into her wise, honest, kind eyes. He’d not thought about how confessing his guilty feelings would affect Deborah. “Is there anything else about me that bothers you?”

She released his hand and gripped the handle of her reticule, seeming nervous. Well, he needed to hear all she had to say. The urge to court her swelled within him like a wave, and he figured if courtship ever happened between them, it would take some time and a lot of prayer. “Yes. I’ve been bothered by something since you returned to town.”

He frowned. This didn’t sound good at all. “What’s been bothering you?”

“Remember when I was seventeen and you were an apprentice to Doc Smith?”

“Yes, I remember.”

“We used to spend time together. I liked spending time with you. I even learned a few things from you about plants and medicine. You were so smart and kind….”

He blinked, still unsure as to what bothered her. “I enjoyed spending time with you too.”

“If you enjoyed spending time with me, then why did you marry Eve?”

He winced. That was a question he wasn’t expecting.