The Topics Are Sex, Sexuality, and Sensuality

Jerry: Sex, or sexuality, seems to be a sensitive topic in that it evokes guardedness and strong opinions from many who contemplate it. My first experience with anything remotely related to sexuality turned out very badly when a little girl and I were playing in a wooden box when we were about two years old. We got caught with our panties off, and we were both severely punished.

Also, as a child, I remember hearing my mother arguing with my father about sex. She told him that she had her three children, she was not interested in having sex with him, and he should find some other woman if it was important to him. Then later, I remember, as still very young children, the little boys and girls I knew and I were all having different sorts of sexual experiences with one another, but by the time I reached the age of actual sexual maturity, I guess because of the powerful stigma around the topic of sex, my concerns and fears and inhibitions were so strong that I would do just about anything to avoid the topic. It was a long time, for me, before my sexual barriers went down or were resolved and I was able to move into happy sexual experiences.

I would like to hear your perspective about the sexual aspects of physical human Beings to, perhaps, clarify the subject and leave people feeling better about it.

Abraham: As children, you are often met with adults who have lost Connection with their own sense of value, of Well-Being, and of worthiness; and from that lackful, disconnected state, they pass their guardedness on to you.

Over time, humans evaluate the subject of sexuality endlessly, passing new laws; amending old laws; struggling futilely to come to agreement with others about the correct attitude and approach to the subject and, even more futilely, to enforce the laws they create from their lackful positions. Your rules or laws about sexuality diverge from culture to culture, generation to generation, society to society, and religion to religion, but in nearly every case, your laws about this and every other subject tend to hinge on the economic impact of the time. And, most important, your sexual laws and rules, like all laws and rules, are made by those who are out of alignment with their Broader Perspective.

If humans were to understand that you are all Vibrational Beings and that the Law of Attraction is bringing to each of you only what you are a Vibrational Match to, you would not be so concerned about the behavior of others, for you would not fear their behavior negatively impacting you. But in your ignorance about how you do attract what comes, and in your fear that unwanted things will come, you make decisions and laws and rules that are not only impossible to enforce, but that foster even more of the behavior you seek to eliminate. It is always true that the harder you push against what you do not want—the more of what you do not want comes into your experience.

By far, the largest amount of pushing against the subject of sexuality comes from people of various religious groups who believe that God has spoken to humans and has given specific instructions regarding the topic. The inconsistency of the message man believes he has received accentuates the impossibility of receiving answers from the pure love of Source when the receiver is standing in a place of blame or guardedness. The very idea that “what I have received is correct, and what you or others have received is wrong” holds you in the place of resistance to the very Source from which you claim to have received it. Which leads us to the most important flawed premise of all:

Flawed Premise #14: There is a God Who, having considered all things, has come to a final and correct conclusion about everything.

This belief, or flawed premise, is at the root of man’s continual assault on humanity. It is at the basis of your wars, your prejudices, your hatred, and your feelings of unworthiness; and it is your primary reason for disallowing your own Well-Being. This flawed premise is so important, and the ramifications of it are so immense, that we could write an entire book speaking only about man’s distorted view of himself, of others, and of that which he calls God. This inaccurate conclusion—that Source (no matter what name you want to give it) is no longer expanding but instead stands at a place of completion, or perfection, demanding your physical compliance with its narrow rules—not only defies the Laws of the Universe, but then requires another flawed premise, and then another and another, to try to prop it up. From outside the Vibration of the love of his Source, man stands guarded and blameful and guilty and fearful, and then assigns those same lackful characteristics to that which he calls God.

Humanity continues to argue about the laws passed down from God as it bends and twists them to suit individual economic desires or needs. Often humans are informed by their religious leaders of the value, or necessity, of keeping these rules. You are told that the keeping of some rules will bring blessings, while the breaking of others will bring punishment; but when you notice that those who are breaking the laws seem to be thriving while those who strive to keep them most are often suffering greatly, you are told one of the greatest flawed premises of all:

Flawed Premise #15: You cannot know, while you are still in your physical body, the true reward or punishment for your physical actions. Your reward or punishment will be shown to you after your physical death.

The loving Laws that support All-That-Exists are Laws that are Universal and therefore always apply. And alignment with them is evident in every moment of alignment, just as misalignment with them is evident in every moment. What feels like love, is—and what feels like hate is not love.

There are many who want to live in the appropriate way, but sorting out proper behavior from the enormous lists of diversity leaves most people uncertain of the rightness of their path. Which leads to yet another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #16: By gathering data about the manifestations or results of the way the people of the earth have lived and are living, we can effectively sort them into absolute piles of right and wrong. And once those determinations have been made, we then have only to enforce those conclusions. And once we get everyone to agree with our determinations—and, more important, once we get them to comply with them—we will then have harmony on Earth.

And so, more people die every day in the struggle to defend, or prove, which way of life is the correct way, with each group claiming to have the absolute approval and support of God. And, in not one bit of any of that is any true Connection to God.

You did not come into this physical body with the intention of taking all of the ideas that exist and whittling them down to a handful of agreed-upon ideas. In fact, that is the very opposite of your prebirth intention. Instead, you knew that you would be coming into an environment of extreme variety, and that from that platform of difference and choices would be born more new-and-improved ideas. You understood that the Eternal nature of that which humans call God would be enhanced by your participation. You knew that this platform of enormous contrast would be the foundation of the Eternal expansion that exists within that which humans call Eternity. There is no ending to the expansion of God, and physical humans’ participation cannot be separated from that expansion.

The most destructive part of humans’ confusion about their Connection with God or Source is that in their need to find and defend their values, they must push against the values of others. And the very nature of focusing upon and pushing against unwanted aspects of others prevents their alignment with the very goodness and Source that they seek. And then they blame the differences in others for the emptiness they feel. Which leads us to another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #17: Only very special people, like the founder of our group, can receive the right message from God. And all other messages from all other messengers are therefore incorrect.

It is interesting that in the midst of a conversation about sexuality, we would not only uncover one of the biggest flawed premises of all, but that the subject of sexuality is also the avenue through which the existence of humans hinges. A basic feeling of unworthiness, due to the lack of Connection with Source, is at the root of the confusion around the subject of sexuality.

It is a rare human who has found what he believes to be the appropriate way to behave, who has then also mustered the self-discipline to behave that way, because the natural instincts that are inspired from a much Broader knowing run counter to the restricted behavior assigned by human Beings.

Are Our Sexual Laws Decreed by Non-Physical Dimensions?

Jerry: So what is natural for me? I remember, as years went by, that I always wanted to understand not only what is natural, but what might go against the higher laws. For instance, as I observed or read about cultures around the world, it seemed like every one, no matter how primitive or how supposedly advanced, had taboos and rules—which controlled the newer people coming in—regarding sex. And so, I wondered if we bring any of that from our higher knowing or from our Inner Beings.

Abraham: No taboos or rules are coming from your Inner Being or from your higher knowing or from Non-Physical, but instead, they are the product of your physical vulnerability. Without exception, every law—religious or secular—comes from a perspective of lack, from a position of trying to protect or guard someone from something. If you were really paying attention to what is happening regarding these laws, you would realize that the laws do not deter the lawbreakers. They only hinder those who would not break the laws anyway, restrict freedom, and add confusion to the lives of those who seek approval from others through conformity.

Can you hear the birds? [Abraham is commenting on sounds of nature that are audible from inside the house.] That is a very sexual call. A moment ago, the rooster was crowing so loudly that you considered not continuing with the recording. In other words, your world is filled with Beings who are all receiving direction from Non-Physical. And yet, it is only the humans who are guarded and resistant regarding the subject of sexuality; it is only the humans who are coming from this extreme place of lack regarding the subject of sexuality. And, from your perspective of lack, from your concern that you may be doing something wrong, from your concern that has been fostered within you from those who have gone before, you are, most of you, in a place of great confusion and not very much joy.

Sexuality Is Guided by Impulses, Not Laws

Jerry: Okay. So there are no rules from the Non-Physical dimension telling us how to behave sexually here in physical form, and so when we are born into our physical bodies, we didn’t come knowing any rules because we weren’t sent with them. Is that why children are so unguarded and behave in ways that adults see as too loose or too careless? And is that why adults then feel a need to rein them in or control them?

Abraham: You were not born into your physical body holding the memory of lists of right and wrong because those lists do not exist, but you were born with an effective Guidance System. The emotions that you feel, without exception, are indicators of the Vibrational alignment—or variance—between the thought your human brain is focused upon and the perspective of your Broader Non-Physical Perspective regarding the same subject.

Since the Source within you is Eternally expanding, your understanding, perspective, intentions, and the knowledge of that part of you is Eternally expanding as well. That is the reason there cannot be a static list of right and wrong or good and evil for you to measure your experience against. Instead, you have personal, individual, loving, accurate feedback, thought by thought, moment by moment, to help you know when you are in alignment with that Broader Perspective or when you are not. There is not only one guidance list handed down from Source for all, but individual Guidance for all physical Beings, in all points in time and space, and regarding all situations.

If, in your desire to socialize the new arrivals into your society, you are unaware of your own Guidance System, and therefore unaware of theirs, then you embark upon the impossible task of determining which actions are the right actions. You also have the even more impossible task of enforcing those decisions.

The reason why so many people feel a need to control the behavior of others is because they believe that others have the power to assert themselves into their experience. When you remember that nothing can come into your experience without your Vibrational invitation of it, then you do the simple work of paying attention to your own Vibrational offering, and you save yourself the enormous and impossible task of controlling the behavior of others. When you remember that the varied behavior of others adds to the balance and the Well-Being of your planet even if they offer behavior that you do not approve of; and that you do not have to participate in the unwanted behavior, and will not—unless you give your attention to it—you become more willing to allow others to live as they choose.

The need to control others always stems from a basic misunderstanding of the Laws of the Universe and of the role that you have intended to play with others with whom you share your planet. But there is another very big flawed premise that arises here:

Flawed Premise #18: By ferreting out the undesirable elements in our society, we can eliminate them. And in their absence, we will be freer.

True freedom is the absence of resistance; true freedom is the presence of alignment—true freedom is the way you feel when you are no longer disallowing your complete alignment, or blending, with the Broader Non-Physical part of you. Therefore, it is not possible to be in the act of pushing against something unwanted and be blended with who-you-really-are and what you want at the same time. You cannot be in the state of pushing against what you do not want and be in harmony with what you do want at the same time. And so, you will never get to a better-feeling state by trying to control others, no matter how well-meaning you believe your motives to be.

You did not come knowing rules of correct behavior, but you certainly came feeling impulses. In other words, just as you have the impulse to drink when you are thirsty in order to keep your body replenished or to eat when you are hungry to keep your body fueled, so the sensation, or the urging, of sexuality comes forth naturally for the perpetuation of the species upon your planet.

What If Humans Behaved, Sexually, Like the Wild Animals?

Jerry: So, getting back to the animals, who do seem to behave from their Non-Physical Guidance or instinct, as we have come to call it … our rooster and his hens have no written laws, or rules, that they are conforming to; it’s just what comes from within them. And so, if we could be born into this planet and start fresh like that, without rules, it seems like we, too, should be able to operate from our Inner Being without the need of outside restrictions. But, instead, we are born into societies and cultures that already have rules and controls that they insist we conform to.

Abraham: What we most want you to understand is that, as humans, you, too, do have Guidance that is coming forth from within. And your Guidance, your innate knowing, your sense of self—indeed, the Eternal nature of who-you-are—is what is dominant within you. And while you do believe that you are hindered by the controls set forth by other humans, we want you to know that this control is not as large or as hindering as you believe, because your innate Non-Physical impulses are even stronger.

Even though your societies have imposed endless rules or laws regarding your sexual behavior, many more of you break those rules—and always have broken those rules—than keep them. That is because your Non-Physical impulses are so strong. If your government, or some controlling agency, were to tell you that you were no longer allowed to eat food—your natural impulses of survival would prevail, and you would find a way to eat.

You and your world do not need this book in order to free your behavior from the binding laws and rules and misunderstandings about sexuality, because your natural impulses are so strong that you really are not behaving as if you feel bound by them. In other words, your natural instincts and impulses are so strong that they do lead your behavior. But then you suffer emotional discord as you then measure your behavior against those unrealistic rules that have been created from your place of attempting to control behaviors. In other words, you behave naturally, but then you feel bad about it.

Your societies will never find the happiness they seek—or know the deliciousness of true freedom—as long as they believe in controlling the behavior of one another. It is the control of your thought, and the alignment with your Broader Perspective, that you are really seeking.

What about When Society Disapproves of Sexual Individuality?

Jerry: So what if you feel good when you think about a specific action, but when you consider what others think about your action, you don’t feel good? Then what would you suggest?

Abraham: We would say that now you are off track because you are attempting to guide your actions by the opinions of others outside of you, when the only guidance that counts is the Guidance that you feel as your thought, in the moment, harmonizes—or does not harmonize—with the Broader Perspective of your Source.

No other human really knows the intentions you held as you came forth from Non-Physical. They have not walked in your shoes through the thousands of interactions you have experienced, and they were not a part of the rockets of desire that you have launched as you have lived your life. They are not privy to the Vibrational Reality that you have created through the living of life, and they cannot feel the harmony or discord—the allowing or resisting—that you feel through your own emotions.

Your question is an important one because through it you are trying to understand which of your emotions to trust or follow: the good-feeling emotion that came in response to your personal thoughts about your personal experience, or the bad-feeling emotion that came in response to your awareness of the disapproval of another.

Nothing could be more important than coming to recognize the existence of your Emotional Guidance System and how it works, for without it you have no consistent guidance. The emotions you feel, in any moment, are pointing out to you the agreement or disagreement between you and your Source regarding the thought that is active in you at the moment of the emotion. If you can understand that through life, before you entered this body and since, your Inner Being has become the Vibrational summation of all that you have lived and now stands as the Vibrational equivalent to all that is good—and if you can then understand that your emotions are giving you feedback about how your current thought blends with that all-knowing, Pure, Positive Energy viewpoint of Source—then and only then can you fully appreciate your emotions.

So when you feel negative emotion, it always means that your currently active thought is out of alignment with the knowledge of Source. In other words, when you find fault with yourself, when you decide that you are inappropriate or unworthy, you will always feel negative emotion—because the Source within you only feels love toward you. When you disapprove of others, you will always feel negative emotion—because the Source within you only loves others. If you will remember that whenever you feel negative emotion, it always means you are in disagreement with Source, then you can deliberately reframe your thoughts until you come into alignment. That is the way to effectively utilize your Guidance System.

When people replace this very personal Guidance by attempting to modify their behavior to please other people, they very soon discover the inconsistency of that guidance and soon find themselves confused about what to do. Many people have lost conscious Connection with their own Guidance Systems, and so instead of deliberately focusing their thoughts into harmony and alignment with their Source and their power—instead of making sure that they are steadily tuned to the Vibration of their clarity and love and power—they turn their attention to the results of what they and the people around them have been thinking. In other words, they examine and catalog and pigeonhole and evaluate and judge the results of the Vibrational creating that is happening around them, putting those results into categories of good and bad, right and wrong. And in all of that data, they lose their way.

There are so many differing opinions and so many extenuating circumstances and so many motives that make it impossible to sort out the rightness or wrongness of interpersonal behavior in your societies. And even when you come to, more or less, general consensus of what you agree upon as a society as the appropriate ways to live, you have no way of convincing all others of the rightness of your opinion. And even when you come together and pronounce laws against “inappropriate” behavior, you have no way of enforcing those laws… . While your societies continue to try to dictate and enforce human behavior to please the majority—because of your diversity, it continues to be an uncomfortable struggle that, again and again, falls of its economic weight. There simply is not enough money in the world to buck the natural currents of individual freedom and independence of thought.

When people have forgotten that this is an inclusion-based Universe, and that the Law of Attraction is the manager who is arranging every detail of every rendezvous that occurs, they fear something that can never be: they fear that unwanted things can assert themselves into their experience. But when you remember that nothing uninvited ever comes into your experience, and that every invitation of both wanted and unwanted comes because you have given considerable thought to the essence of it, then you can begin to utilize your own powerful Emotional Guidance System with the assurance that you do create your own reality.

If people would simply pay attention to the harmony or disharmony within themselves—which is offered to them in the form of positive or negative emotion—they would be able to eliminate the arduous and impossible task of trying to control the behavior of others.

By deliberately focusing your thoughts in the direction of your Broader understanding, and no longer wasting time and money on things you cannot control, you will not only come into alignment with Source and feel the relief of that in your emotions—but all things wanted can then come to you.

So getting back to your powerful question … your thought about a behavior or action that brought you pleasure—regardless of the opinions of others who stand upon their endless opinions and rules and disapproving platforms—is a thought that the Source within you agrees with. And your thought of your own inappropriateness that made you feel bad, because of your assumed disapproval of others (whether real or imagined) is a thought that the Source within you does not agree with.

To sort out all of the behaviors of your societies, past and present; to sort out all of the opinions of people around your world; to review all of the laws; to understand how the laws came about; to evaluate the evolution of the laws; to try to live up to all of them, or enforce them … is confusing and overwhelming and impossible.

To know if Source, Infinite Intelligence, Inner Being, God agrees or disagrees with the thought, word, or action you are involved in—you have only to notice if it feels good or bad.

To find your peace regarding anything, it is necessary for you to set aside your desire to find approval from others and to seek approval from self. And you do that by starting from the inside out—by acknowledging that you want to feel good, and that you want to have a life experience that is in harmony with what is good. And if you start there, it is our absolute promise to you that you will never find yourself in a situation where the action that you are experiencing, or even contemplating, will put you in a position of feeling that you have betrayed your greater sense of right and wrong.

Who Gets to Set Humans’ Sexual Hierarchy?

Jerry: It seems to me, as I have evaluated sexuality within our culture, that we have what might be called the high priest, who doesn’t engage in sex; then there are the common folks, who do engage in sex (but only for the purpose of creating children); and then, on the lower end of the hierarchy, there would be those who would engage in sex for pleasure. But it seems to me that we all have some of all of that—

Abraham: We have to interrupt you here because all of those ideas come from a perspective of lack, from humans believing in their unworthiness.

Your physical life experience is a life of sensuality. You come forth into this physical realm with the sensual eyes with which to see, the sensual ears with which to hear, the sensual nose with which to smell, the sensual skin with which to feel, and the sensual tongue with which to taste. This Leading Edge time-space reality is about the intricate Vibrational interpretations that your physical senses provide, and all of that is for the enhancement of your physical experience.

If you will pay attention to your emotions, they will help you find the appropriateness of your behavior, and you will come to understand the worthiness that is at the core of you. It is not necessary, or even possible, to pinpoint the turning point when humans stopped believing in their value and worthiness. It has been a gradual erosion caused by the disallowance of Connection with Source because of the comparison of human experience in search of the one “right” answer or the one “right” behavior. And now, a feeling of unworthiness runs rampant on your planet, and much of human thought is directed toward lack, which only promotes more disallowance of alignment with Source and with love and with Well-Being.

You are here in your physical bodies as extensions of Source Energy, experiencing specific contrast and coming to specific new decisions about the goodness of life, and every time your experience poses a question to you—an equivalent answer is born in the experience of Source. Every time your experience poses a problem to you—an equivalent solution is born in the experience of Source. And so, because of your willingness to live and explore and experience contrast, you are giving birth to constant new rockets of desire—and All-That-Is expands because of what you are living.

When it becomes your dominant intention to find good-feeling thoughts, then you become one who is most often a Vibrational Match to the Source within you, and the good feeling that will then be usually present within you is your indication that you are fulfilling your reason for being and that you are continuing to keep up with the expansion of your own Being.

Every experience causes you to expand, and your positive emotion is your indication that you are keeping up with that new expansion. Negative emotion is your indication that the greater part of you has moved to an expanded place—but you are holding back. And so, by paying attention to the way you feel, and by continually reaching for the best-feeling thoughts you can find, you will establish a rhythm of alignment that will help you immediately realize when you are straying from the goodness that you have become.

It is our absolute promise to you that you will never be able to take action that is contrary to the joyful, loving, God-Source Being within you without feeling very strong negative emotion… . There are many people who are completely out of alignment with the Source within them, who stand in condemnation of others while asserting their claim on righteousness. But the anger that burns within them is evidence of their disallowance of the very rightness they are making claim to. Anger and hatred and condemnation are not symbols of alignment with God—but indicators of misalignment with that which you call God.

Some would say, “Then the feeling of guilt that I have must mean that I am doing something evil or wrong.” But we want you to understand that your negative emotion simply means that the thought that is vibrating within you does not match the Vibration of your Source. Source continues to love you. When you do not love you, you feel the discord.

If we were standing in your physical shoes and we were contemplating an action that caused negative emotion, we would not proceed with the action until we had resolved the negative emotion. We would make sure that we had come into alignment with Source before proceeding. By feeling for the improved thought, in time, and usually in a short time, you will feel the harmony of your Source; and you will know the appropriateness of your behavior. We would not look for the long lists of right and wrong, but instead, we would feel for the emotion of alignment with Source.

Negative emotion does not mean that you are not good. It means that your currently active thought does not harmonize with the currently active thoughts of Source on the same subject. If you have come to believe that sexual interaction is wrong and you are about to engage in sexual interaction, your negative emotion is not confirming that sexual interaction is wrong. It is confirming that your opinion of your behavior and of yourself in this moment does not harmonize with how Source feels about you. Stop and reach for loving, approving thoughts about yourself and feel the discord disappear.

Usually, by the time you have spent 50 or 60 or 70 years in your body, you come to the very clear awareness that you cannot please them all. In fact, you usually understand that you cannot please very many of them, because each of them wants something different from you. Attempting to guide yourself through the approval of others is futile and painful. But you may trust your inner Guidance. In fact, it is really the only thing that you can trust, because it holds the complete understanding of who-you-really-are, who-you-have-become, and where you stand in Vibrational relationship with that expanded Being.

When you understand your relationship with the Source within you and you are aware of your own Emotional Guidance System— which continually indicates your Vibrational relationship with Source—it will not be possible for you to stray from the wholeness and goodness and the worthiness that is you.

How Can We Coordinate Our Sexual Co-creations?

Jerry: It seems to me that humans have, within them, an innate urge to procreate, as well as an innate desire to enjoy sensuality. And I believe we also have an innate desire to create through thought, but the subject of sexuality really points to the idea of co-creation, where the desires and beliefs and intentions of two people are now involved. How can two different people who are moving through time and experiences continue to co-create in harmony? How can I coordinate my desires with the desires of my mate, since both of us are changing?

Abraham: As we discussed in the last question, it is important that your desire for harmony with your mate not become a desire to seek approval from that person. There is no more destructive force to relationships than the feeling of the loss of freedom in the effort to find agreement. Which leads us to another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #19: A good relationship is one in which the dominant intention of each person involved is to find agreement and harmony with the other.

How could two people looking to find harmony with each other possibly be the wrong basis for a good relationship and a happy life? Both people have created their own Vibrational Escrow (Vibrational Reality) to which they must seek harmony if they are to be happy. When finding harmony with your mate takes precedence over finding harmony with your Inner Self, there is a strong probability that discord between you and Source will occur. That feeling of discord is then translated as a feeling of loss of freedom; and then your partner, with whom you truly want to find harmony, begins to feel less good. Your loss of connection to your own Source feels off to you, and is off, and so then (without wanting to) you begin to resent the partner whom you are trying to please. In short, there is no substitution for alignment with Source.

Again, you are looking for love in all the wrong places. We are not suggesting that you should not want to get along well with your mate. But we are strongly suggesting the powerful benefit of seeking, first, alignment with Source. When you find alignment with the Source within you, you also find alignment with your furthermost expansion. And when you are in alignment with who-you-really-are and all that you have become, you are then automatically in harmony with the best of your relationship with your partner.

Couples, or anyone involved in co-creating of any kind, who attempt harmony by trying first to please each other always discover the flaw in that premise. If you are not selfish enough to seek and find harmony with your Source, you have nothing to give your partner anyway.

If you see it as your job to keep your partner happy, and so you work hard and behave in ways that please your mate, you are actually setting your mate up for ultimate unhappiness because you are training that person to look to you and your behavior in order to feel good rather than seeking personal alignment with Source. And no matter how good you are at pleasing, and no matter how hard you try, you do not make a good substitute for your partner’s alignment with Source.

The message that you want to convey to the others with whom you are co-creating is this: “I will never hold you responsible for the way I feel. I have the power to focus myself into alignment with my Source, and therefore I have the power to keep myself feeling good.” If that is your true intention, then you have discovered the path, the only path, to true freedom and true happiness. But if your happiness is dependent upon the intentions or beliefs or behaviors of any other, you are trapped, for you cannot control any of that.

Fear of Sex Spoils the Pleasure of Being Touched

Jerry: Abraham, I would like to read to you some questions that people have asked you. These are real-life examples that are happening with people, and I’d like to hear your responses relative to the Laws and processes that you’ve been teaching us.

A young woman says: “My mother and I are both uncomfortable with sex. We don’t like hearing about it, reading about it, seeing it on television, or participating in it. I guess, as a result of my mother’s strong negative feelings about sex, I now have fear anytime my mate even touches me that it might turn to having sex. I want a good marriage, but how can I enjoy the sensual part, or the touching part, without this fear that it will push on into the sexual part?”

Abraham: Most anyone reading or hearing the perspective of this woman would have a strong reaction to her words. Some would feel sorry for her husband to have a wife who is so repulsed by the idea of sexual interaction, while others would identify with her feeling about it. If this woman is married to someone who feels differently about the sexual experience than she does, then one of them will always be uncomfortable regarding the subject.

The most important thing that we want you to understand (and it is usually the most difficult thing for most people to understand) is that this conversation, and ultimately this solution, is not about the action of sexuality, for there is no rule about right and wrong sexual behavior. A strong pattern of negative emotion attached to a specific subject means that the thoughts you have chronically activated about that subject strongly disagree with the perspective of your Source.

For example, if, as a young girl (age is irrelevant, but these things usually begin when you are very young), you felt strong disapproval projected toward you in response to your words or behavior regarding the subject, you most likely have concluded that you were inappropriate to be offering those words or that behavior, or even those thoughts. You called the empty feeling guilt, and you accepted it as evidence of your wrongdoing or wrong speaking or wrong thinking. But the guidance that your Emotional Guidance System was offering was very different from that: Your feeling of guilt was, instead, a simple indicator that your conclusion about your inappropriateness was a very different opinion from the Source within you. In other words, you were condemning you—and your Source was not.

There is nothing that you innately want more than to recognize your own value and goodness, and when you harbor chronic thoughts that disallow that, you feel bad. If you have decided that a particular behavior is wrong—you will always feel worse if you perform it. If you have decided that a particular behavior is good—you will always feel better if you perform it. But your life becomes very complicated as you try to sort that out through putting behaviors in categories of right and wrong, of good or bad.

For example, if you believe that a good wife is one who tries to cooperate with her husband, you would feel bad by not yielding to his sexual desires. If you believe that sexual interaction is wrong, then yielding to your husband’s sexual desires would also feel bad, so whether you say yes or no to his request, you feel bad. It is an impossible thing for you to sort out. And so, in time, you decide that his sexual desires are inappropriate.

But we want you to understand that none of these emotions that you have been feeling have anything to do with the rightness or the wrongness of his request or behavior. Your emotions are always, and only, about whether your thoughts about a subject align with the thoughts of your Inner Being. And when you decide you are inappropriate, you are always out of alignment with your Source. When you decide that your husband is inappropriate, you are always out of alignment with your Source. If you decide that your mother was wrong to influence you on the subject of sexuality, you are out of alignment with Source.

Let us say that, through the life experience that you have lived, you have decided that you do not want to participate in a particular activity, sexual or otherwise. And let us also say that you spend no time thinking about what you do not want regarding the subject, so there is no active Vibration within you about it. Under those conditions, the powerful Law of Attraction would bring to you a partner who is in complete agreement with you, and you would have no struggle in living your compatible life.

Now, let us say that, through the life that you have lived, you have decided that you do not want to participate in a particular activity. You made that decision when you were young. In fact, you learned it from your mother, whom you trusted. This feels like an important decision to you. You read books about it. You seek counsel about it. You are very, very clear about what you do not want; and you justify that decision often. In this situation it would not be possible for the Law of Attraction to bring you a partner who agrees with you because the Vibration that you predominantly offer on this topic does not agree with your own decision. So you would attract partners who ask or demand of you the exact opposite of what you have decided that you want.

It is not our desire to guide you toward or away from sexual activity, but we do want you to understand that this is another case where “you cannot get there from there.” You cannot continue to offer a Vibration that consists mostly of what you do not want and get what you do want. And we also would like you to understand that when you pay attention to the way you feel, and deliberately choose more thoughts that feel good while you think them, you will begin to recognize the nature of your Broader Non-Physical desires. The majority of negative emotions that you feel are not because the subject of your thought is wrong, but instead, because you are condemning something that your Source does not condemn. Your Source is one of love, not one of condemnation.

And so, over time, as you come more into alignment with the Vibration of the Source within you, it is our promise to you that your feelings of sensuality will return. For you have come forth into this physical body wanting to explore and enjoy the delicious nature of your physical beingness. We have never seen a physical human who was in alignment with Source who was repulsed by physical interaction. Repulsion is an indication of disconnection.

We Can Always Have a Fresh Start

Jerry: Abraham, before meeting you, I described life as like moving along a path that had many possible branches that forked this way and that way. I could choose this branch of the path or that one; and if I ever found myself at a point where life didn’t feel right, I could just backtrack to the last fork in the road and then, perhaps, choose a better path. But it seems like you are saying that I don’t have to double back, and that I could just start fresh at any time.

Abraham: The thing that your analogy does not factor in is that during the time on your trail that you were not having a good time, as it was not feeling right, you were sending out Vibrational rockets of desire for the equivalent improvement or solutions—and in doing so, you added to your Vibrational Escrow your newly amended desires. Further, the Non-Physical part of you became that expanded Being living that better experience. It is neither necessary nor possible for you to backtrack to a former physical perspective. Life has caused you to move on. And, most important, that expanded version of you is calling you; and if you will listen, a well-lighted and easy-to-navigate path will appear before you.

How Does One Regain the Frequency of Pleasurable Sexuality?

Jerry: On the other side of the question posed by the young woman we just discussed, there is a gentleman who says: “For the first three months of our marriage, my wife and I had sex three or four times every day. But now, after a few years, it has actually reached the point that the activity of sex is distasteful to my wife. And so, if I don’t make it happen, it just doesn’t happen. She is not interested in any form of mental stimulation, like words, films, or books. She won’t allow anything that would shift her focus in that direction. I don’t want to have sex with her if she doesn’t enjoy it, because if it’s not pleasurable for her, it’s not pleasurable for me. What thoughts must I change in order to change the experience that I am having?”

Abraham: Many people find themselves in troubling situations where there seem to be no viable solutions: “Since my wife doesn’t want sexual interaction, then my choices are: (1) I could go along with not having sex … which doesn’t feel good to me; (2) I could leave my wife and find another partner who is more compatible on the subject, like we were in the beginning … but I don’t want to leave her; (3) I could stay in the marriage but find another sexual partner … but I don’t want to betray or deceive my mate, and I am certain she would not condone my doing that; (4) I could try to convince her or even assert pressure to move her in the direction of my desires … but that is uncomfortable and suppresses my own sexual desire.”

The reason none of the choices just mentioned afford any viable solution is because none of them are addressing the real problem. When two people are in love (like so many people describe at the beginning of their relationships), their positive attention to each other, and their positive expectation about their relationship, is often a catalyst that causes them both to align with their respective Inner Beings. So you could say that they are each using each other as their excuse to be in alignment with who-they-really-are. And that alignment translates as harmony. There is no greater symbol of co-creative harmony than the physical blending of two people in sexual interaction.

Of course, it is possible to interact physically without one or both of the parties involved being in alignment with Source, but when that physical/Source alignment is in place, then the physical intertwining is divine.

Of course, you would want your mate to be in alignment with her Source for many more reasons than because she would be more likely to be willing to engage in sexual interaction with you, but, in any case, her connection to Source is what we would focus upon.

You do not have the power to align others with their Inner Being. You only have the power to align yourself with your own. You cannot focus upon your sexual incompatibility and be in alignment with your Inner Being at the same time. You cannot notice that your mate is not in alignment with her Inner Being and be in alignment with your Inner Being the same time. You cannot focus upon the absence of something that you desire and be in alignment with your Inner Being at the same time. Your solution hinges upon your ability to find thoughts about sexuality with your mate while at the same time being in alignment with your Source.

In short, as you often find thoughts about sexual interaction with your mate that feel good to you while you think them, you will be in alignment with the Source within you and with your desires. When you think about sexual interaction with your mate and you feel guilty or blameful or disappointed, you are not in alignment with your Source or with your desires. When you think about sexual interaction with your mate and you feel eager or happy or sensual, you are in alignment with your Source and with your desire. So, over time, as you are able to focus upon the subject and remain in alignment with your Source, the powerful Law of Attraction will find more and more compatible rendezvous points, and you will rediscover your early passion with your mate.

It is possible that your mate could remain resistant to her own alignment, and if that is the case, then the Law of Attraction will bring to you another mate who matches the Vibration that you have developed. However, once you are consistently holding your mate as your positive object of attention while you are in complete alignment with your Inner Being, it is much more likely that she will return to her natural alignment.

Engaging in sexual interaction, as inspired from Connection with your Inner Being, is a delicious physical experience, while engaging in sexual interaction out of a feeling of commitment or responsibility is not.

In short, if you do not allow yourself to get into a feeling of shortage or lack because of something that another does, and you are able to maintain your alignment with the Source within you, what you desire must come to you. And, in this situation, where it is clear that this man cares about the feelings of his mate, his alignment will most likely inspire hers.

So this conversation is not about how to get yourself into a position where you can get from another something that you desire. Instead, it is about how to align yourself with Source regardless of what another is doing. And then, by your own consistent alignment with Source, you may inspire the alignment of your mate. And the by-product of all of that alignment is—as the man discovered in the early days of his relationship—a desire to become one with the positive object of your attention.

Sex, Religion, and Mental-Hospital Incarcerations?

Jerry: Some years ago I was visiting a group of friends who were psychiatrists and psychologists who told me, in essence, that the majority of people who were incarcerated in a mental hospital where they worked, near Spokane, Washington, were there as a result of their confusion either about religion or sex. And I’m sure it was not only their confusion that put them there, but also their behavior.

Abraham: That is not surprising, because both the subject of religion and the subject of sexuality point toward the origin of human Beings. Many people look to religion to help them understand why they are here. They want to understand their purpose for being here, and they want to fulfill that purpose. And the subject of sexuality is the means through which they came forth into their physical bodies.

Most religions offer tremendous patterns of “pushing against” as they scrutinize human behavior looking for evidence of wrongdoing and sin. And often that perceived wrongdoing is pointed toward sexual behavior. Every thought that devalues self, even if it is spoken from a religious platform, causes separation between the human physical self and the Non-Physical Inner Being. And that is, in fact, what confusion is. Only people severely separated from Source would offer an act of hostility, violence, or sexual aggression. There is a powerful connection there: since they are focused upon lack, they take the subjects that are of greatest importance to them and focus upon the lack side of it.

Why Do People Use God and Sex in Vain?

Jerry: And another thing I have noticed is that, for some reason, in our society when people are really angry or violent or threatening, or are really trying to hurt someone’s feelings, they use words that are related to sex or religion as curse words. It seems like the worse they feel, the more they use sexual or religious words in a derogatory way to get their point across.

Abraham: That is because when they are focused upon lack—and therefore disconnected from Source—they choose the subjects that are the most meaningful or important and find the lack side of them.

Why Does the Media Broadcast Pain, but Censor Pleasure?

Jerry: I also notice that in our culture it seems perfectly appropriate for television and movies to depict the maiming of people, and destruction and gore—anything horrible as far as destroying the human body—while it seems inappropriate to show human sexuality and pleasure. I’ve never understood why our culture has come to the place where it can stand hate and anger and pain, but doesn’t want to see pleasure.

Abraham: It is not a matter of their wanting to see hate, anger, and pain, and not wanting to see pleasure. In fact, the opposite of that is true: people really do want to feel good, and they want to see things that are successful and beautiful and pleasurable.

Many people are attracting to themselves unwanted things by virtue of their attention to those unwanted things. A misunderstanding of the Laws of the Universe is at the heart of this conversation as the people of your society wage wars against the things they do not want: war against terror, war against AIDS, war against teenage pregnancy, war against violence, war against cancer—and every one of those things is getting bigger because attention to unwanted creates more unwanted.

Your moviemakers, whether they understand the Law of Attraction or not, understand that people do gravitate more toward viewing unwanted things than wanted. And we submit that the reason that is true is because there are strong active Vibrations in most people about what they do not want. If you were to engage the average person in conversation about what is going on with his life, you would find him much more articulate in expressing the things that are not working well—things that are unjust and things that need to be changed—than he would be able to express the beauty of his life and world.

Also, once you have decided that the world is leaning toward anger and hate, you are no longer a Vibrational Match to the beauty of the world—and the world, as you attract, then leans in the direction of your belief. Anyone who begins to make lists of the positive aspects of the world around them will train their Vibration and therefore their own point of attraction to more of that. Meanwhile, the people who make movies will continue to make the movies that people are attracting from them.

We would like to help you remember that if you are waiting around for your society to get straightened out before you have a happy life experience, you will have a very long wait. If you are waiting for anybody else in your experience to get straightened out before you have a happy experience, you will have a very long wait.

You are not here to discover that which is perfect. You are here to create or to attract that which is perfect. As the contrast of your life, and even of what you are calling unpleasant movies, helps you know what you do not want, you also understand more clearly what you do want. Focus upon what you do want, become a Vibrational Match to what you do want, train your point of attraction to what you do want—and watch your personal world become that.

Monogamy: Is It Natural or Unnatural?

Questioner: Where I’m stuck is on the whole issue of monogamy. That is the way I was raised, and so I assume that that’s a value of mine, but I’ve noticed a lot of pain and fear associated with it. First of all, you have to find someone who wants the same thing, and then you have to control the person’s wanting, which is not fun by itself, and …

Abraham: Not only is it not fun to attempt control over another, it is not possible. People often believe that what they really want is just some final ruling on the rightness or wrongness of monogamy so that they could then keep the rule or break the rule, but at least they would know what the rule is. And so, in your societies that rule has moved back and forth many times. It varies today depending upon what part of the world you are living in. But we want you to understand that it was never your intention as you came into the physical from Non-Physical to find one way of living and convince or coerce all others to abide. You understood that the world is big enough to accommodate vast differences in desires, beliefs, and the creation of lifestyles.

Which brings us to the first point of this question: I need to find someone who wants what I want. Coming together with another who is in agreement with the desires that you hold does make for good relationships. And, surely it is obvious that there are enough people with whom you share your planet that it should not be too difficult to find someone who is a match to you and what you want. But the thing that hinders most people—as they are looking to find that other person who matches the things that they desire—is that they cannot find that person unless they themselves are a match to their own desires.

People who worry about finding someone who will remain true to them cannot find such a person because the most active thoughts within them are worrisome thoughts of betrayal. People are finding it difficult to find the mate of their dreams not because that person is not out there, but because of their own contradiction to their own desire in the thoughts they offer about the subject every day.

When you consistently offer thoughts about your future relationship that feel good while you think them, that means you are consistently matching the desires that you have discovered as you have lived life. And under those conditions, only someone in agreement with your desires could come to you. Under those conditions, no need for control is necessary.

Questioner: So is it our “natural” nature to have only one relationship over a lifetime? Or is that something that was imposed on us by culture or religion?

Abraham: It was your intent to interact with many others on many subjects. And whether you choose the subject of sexuality to be something that you experience with only one, or whether it is something that you want to experience with more than one, or with many, it is an individual thing. And your ideas about it are continually changing.

It is worth noting, however, that the rules and laws that are meant to restrict behavior are always born out of the disconnection from Source. In other words, as your officials or leaders or rulers legislate laws or rules in an effort to eliminate something from society, their attention is usually upon the aspect of society that they do not want. And so, even though they make laws and attempt to enforce them, they have but minuscule control, because they are fighting the natural laws of nature. The most powerful force inherent in all who exist is the acknowledgment of personal freedom.

It is not possible for you to form your ideas about what a wonderful relationship really is if you have no exposure to things that are not wonderful. The best relationships that exist on your planet today are those that have erupted from a series of not-wonderful relationships. Through each exposure to interacting with others, you launch continuous rockets of desires of what you prefer. And when, and only when, you are a Vibrational Match to the culmination of those desires, you will allow your rendezvous with someone who matches those intentions that you have gathered along your physical trail.

Sex, Art, Religion, and Monogamy

Questioner: I want to expand on what Jerry was saying earlier about the people in mental institutions being there because of their confusion about sex and religion. I am an artist, and I have heard it said that all great art is inspired from sex and religion; and during this discussion about sex, I realize that, from my perspective, the ultimate relationship involves a perfect fusion of creative and sexual Energy. So, regardless of what society says I should or shouldn’t do in terms of my sexual choices, it feels to me that this fusion of Energies is more intense and more delicious with one person.

Abraham: It is true of everything. When you are positively focused in a moment, giving your attention to some positive object of attention and therefore in complete alignment with the Source within you, your Energies are aligned and your experience must be wonderful. But this is a conversation about coming into alignment with Source first, by virtue of your positive attention, not a conversation about the merits of one lover versus many.

For the most part, those who are seeking many sexual experiences are those who have not completely defined what they want. They are still collecting data, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Questioner: In my own mind I use the term life partner instead of monogamy to describe what I am looking for.

Abraham: Life partner, for this moment, can be a good idea. But since the details of the life you are living will always produce more clarity about what you desire, you will always be sending out new rockets of desire. The most productive and sustaining commitment that you could ever make would be to the continual aligning with the expansion that life causes you to discover.

In other words, as you live life, in all of its detail—including the person you are in love with and living with, or married to—you are still sending out rockets of desires of improvement, and the Non-Physical Source Energy part of you receives each request and melds it into the Vibrational becoming that is truly who-you-are. Your intention to keep up with that expansion is your true path to happiness.

Of course, those who are consistently in alignment with the Source within them would continue to inspire harmony and love from their partner. So we are not suggesting that you should not or cannot sustain a wonderful lifelong relationship with another. But we are saying that your relationship between you and You must come first, before any other relationship can remain satisfying.

Many people who are worried about the loss of love enter into marital agreements, “till death do us part” agreements, as they try to protect themselves from unwanted things. That is the opposite of what we are explaining here.

What Is the Ultimate Sensual/Sexual Experience?

Questioner: What is the sexual force? For me, the ultimate sexual experience involves a perfect fusion with another person, communicating on all possible levels of sensual and Spiritual and emotional harmony. I feel an expansion of myself in that, like a lessening of my boundaries.

Abraham: Whether the sexual experience is the reason for your positive focus and therefore alignment with Source, or whether you were already in alignment with Source as you were coming into the sexual experience—it is the alignment with Source that is important.

Have you noticed that you cannot have that sort of experience if you are in the middle of an argument? You cannot be noticing flaws in your mate, or feeling insecure and incomplete in and of yourself, and have that experience.

As physical Beings, you are extensions of Source Energy, of the Energy that creates worlds; and when you take the time to consistently tune to the frequency of that Pure, Positive Energy, and then you turn your attention to your art, or to your lovemaking—you experience the Energy that creates worlds flowing through you. That is that sexual force that you are trying to define… . A wonderful sexual experience is much more about being in alignment with your true Creative Energy Stream than it is about the actual physical interaction.

Questioner: My current mate is very aware of the Non-Physical aspects of his Being. He meditates and wants to be Spiritually focused, but he says that when he engages in sexual activity, it is as if he has to become this one small physical personality and don his ego; and that, for him, he then loses that sense of the larger psychic, Non-Physical experience.

Abraham: In that case, he is having trouble with all aspects of physical, not just the physical sexual part. This leads us to an explanation of another flawed premise:

Flawed Premise #20: When I focus upon things of a physical nature, I am less Spiritual.

Since you are creators who have come forth from Source, you are literal extensions of Source. As you focus into this physical world, you are focusing upon creations of Source, and you are continuing to add to the creation of Source by your willingness to explore contrast and ask for continuing improvements. Being physical does not separate you from Source, and having sex does not diminish your Spiritual connection. It is pushing against unwanted, and learning patterns of Vibration that are different from the Vibration of Source, that disconnects you from Source.

There is nothing more Spiritual than to allow the true spirit that is you to flow through you into your physical life. The absence of Spirituality is not about the subject or the activity. It is about the Vibrational choices that you are making.

Source loves you, and when you do not, you are not Spiritual. Source loves the others with whom you share your planet, and when you do not, you are not Spiritual. Source understands the expanding nature of you and of All-That-Is, and when you think you should stand in completed perfection on every subject, you are not Spiritual. When you feel unworthy, you are not in alignment with Source.

But, as we have been discussing here, your Connection to Source must not depend upon your mate’s Connection to Source. You must use you own power of focus to keep yourself in alignment with who-you-really-are. Your very discussion about your mate’s feeling of loss of expansiveness causes the temporary loss of it within you as well.

You really cannot sort these issues out from the outside by trying to determine the rightness or wrongness of behavior. Your determination to tend to your own Connection with your own Spirituality will put you in the best position of inspiring the same in your mate. And if he continues to believe that the act of sexuality moves him away from the Spiritual person he strives to be—the Law of Attraction will move him out of your experience. And if you continue to remain focused upon the things that allow your alignment with your Source—the Law of Attraction will bring to you another who is not only in alignment with Source as well, but who shares your values and desires regarding the subject of sexuality.

Each Marriage Was Different but Not Better

Questioner: I’ve been married four times to two different husbands. In each case, we remarried thinking it would be better. It was different; it was not better. In each case, I can see now from what you were saying about freedom that these marriages just reinforced my desire to be free.

One of my husbands said to me, “You’re really just interested in romance.” And, in a sense, that was true. I thought maybe I’d rather be his mistress than his wife, because in marriage we are talking about two different things: Sexuality is one thing; marriage is another. In marriage you’ve got children, in-laws, property, responsibilities, duties… .

Abraham: It turns out it is not possible to separate anything from anything, though, because at the core of all of those things is you and the way you feel. As you focus upon one unpleasant or unwanted aspect of life, it bleeds over into all other aspects.

Questioner: That’s right. And so, finally, my desire for freedom dominated so much that in each case, I left. I like the premise of life that you identify, of freedom and growth and joy, but my marriages were bringing no joy.

Abraham: Can you see, in looking back, that there were opportunities to look for positive aspects, but because you were fixated upon negative aspects, those became your dominant experience?

Questioner: Yes, but I so disliked the feeling of being hemmed in and pinned down and having to perform certain duties all the time that even though I did them, and did them well, what I wanted was to be free, to be my own person… .

Abraham: The actual “freedom” you were seeking was freedom from negative emotion, freedom from feeling bad, freedom from not feeling good, freedom from not being who-you-really-are.

We want you to understand that, in every moment, even those over which you feel you have no control, you have the freedom to ponder them in a way that feels better or in a way that feels worse. You have the freedom to focus upon them through the eyes of your Source or from the perspective that pinches you off from Source. Your pinned-in, not-free feelings were about your Vibrational discord, not about the subject you were focusing upon, which brought about the Vibrational discord; and that is such an important distinction.

You are not seeking freedom from experiences that cause your desires to expand, but you are seeking freedom from the hindering thoughts that keep you from allowing your expansion. The feeling that you are describing as being pinned in or not free is actually the feeling of not keeping up with your own expansion—the expansion, in fact, made possible by your relationship.

Have you noticed that, in terms of physical activity, you are as busy now as you have ever been? [Questioner: I am actually busier.] And yet you feel freer because you are no longer focused upon lack.

We are not suggesting that you should have done something differently. We are not suggesting that it was right that you stay and wrong that you go, or the other way around. But we do want you to realize that, in every moment, the way you feel is because of one thing and one thing only: the thoughts you are thinking and the Vibrational relationship with your opinion and that of the Source within you. And there is no other person, no matter how hard he tries to be a good companion, who can stand on his head in enough ways to make up for the thoughts that you think.

We know that some people seem to be much easier to live with than others, but, even so, we do not encourage anyone to try to guide their own behavior by trying to make others happy. A well-meaning person who does everything in his power to make you feel better is actually making it less likely that you will direct your thoughts into harmony with your Broader Perspective. And since your feeling of freedom and joy and growth are contingent upon your Non-Physical Connection, then anything that distracts you from that important work does not help you.

Abraham Offers Some “Coming Together” Vows

Questioner: Abraham, I was involved in a religion for three years that taught that Spiritual Beings do not have physical contact, do not make love. They likened the body to a battery, and they said that by having sexual contact with another, in effect, you discharge and waste energy.

Abraham: The only way that you “discharge and waste energy” is by focusing upon the lack of what you desire. Since the Source within you is focused upon who-you-really-are, all that you have become, and all that you desire—when you focus otherwise, you lose your Connection. It is your belief that you are inappropriate that is causing the disharmony, not your physical behavior.

If you are having a sexual experience and you are feeling extremely guilty about it, for whatever reason, then the experience is not of value to you. Then you are draining your Energy. But if you are having a sexual experience and you are feeling very good about it, then the power of the Universe is behind you.

Questioner: Well, if only I had known 25 years ago what I have just learned here today… . I came from a situation where everything is a “no-no,” right down to the fact that your only responsibility in life is to get married, have kids, and obey your husband. And that is even what my marriage vows said: you will love, honor, and obey this man for the rest of your life. Boy, if I had known then what I know now, I’d have run so fast.

Abraham: Let us offer you the perfect coming-together vows, whether you are calling them marriage or something else:

Hello, friend. We are here as co-creators. And it is my expectation as we move forward in this marriage [or in this relationship] that both of us will find ourselves satisfied in every way that is possible. It is my desire to discover who I am and who you are. But most important to me is that I be happy so that I may inspire happiness in you.

I do not take your life as my responsibility. I take my life as my responsibility. And I am looking forward to a very good time here. I am anticipating that as we move forward in this life together, we will have the ultimate of all positive experiences—because that is what I intend to look for. As long as we are having a good time, let us stay together. And if we should stop having a good time, let us separate—either in thought or in physicalness—until negative do us part.

We are not encouraging you to disassemble your marriages or your existing relationships. But we are encouraging you to tend to the relationship that matters most of all—the relationship between you and You. When you reach for thoughts about everything and everyone that harmonize with the perspective of the Source within you, you will feel the true alignment of your Being; and then, and only then, will you have something to offer another. You must be selfish enough to be in alignment with your true self before you have anything to give.