6

A FEW THINGS MUM
COULD HAVE AT LEAST ASKED
KATHLEEN TO BEAR IN MIND.

1. Try to remember that you have a houseguest. Do not forget to take her with you when you leave for the studio in the morning.

2. If you do tend to forget houseguests, make sure to have something in your fridge other than a small jar of Apricot-Kiwi Emulsion.

3. When it finally dawns on you at two in the afternoon that you’re supposed to be looking after your niece and you race home and find that she’s eaten half a jar of your expensive French skin cream, try a little harder not to look like your eyeballs are going to explode. Ask yourself these questions: At twelve, would you have thought that “emulsion” was a fancy word for yogurt? What else could she have eaten (since you went and left her stranded there)? What would her mother/your sister do if she ever found out? (Supplementary question: Why would you put face cream in the fridge?)

4. When you take a preteen to a television studio (or wherever), do not hold her hand. Especially when she’s taller than you are. It makes her look like a goof.

5. Try to remember that you have a houseguest. Do not forget to take her with you when you leave the studio in the evening. You’d save everyone a whole lot of trouble.