Monika pulled away from the touch of her husband’s hand on her hip as they went into Alex and Jeremy’s house. They’d been invited for a BBQ and Monika had brought white lilies, which Alex took from her and placed in a large modern vase. She took them outside and beckoned them to follow. Tony turned to her and glared. Monika ignored him and followed Alex. At least for one afternoon, she could switch off from his suffocating suspicion.
‘What a day! Thank you for inviting us, Alex,’ Monika said breezily.
The children, who were no longer kids, were already in the pool, enjoying the heatwave with abandon. Monika wished she could strip off and join them but she’d worn her new Armani skirt, and heels, and she had on too much make-up. Besides, she wasn’t drunk yet.
‘Look at them! They’ve grown!’ Monika said.
‘They’re not as angelic as they look, you know.’ Alex gave her a drink.
She’d already had two glasses of wine at home to calm her nerves, but she’d declined the line of coke Tony offered her. Her heels sank into the grass as the conversation clung to the weather. Jeremy sidled up next to her and she moved away slightly, turning his offered greeting into an air kiss rather than the real thing. She pushed her dark hair behind her ear nervously, exposing her neckline, and she touched her hand to her throat. She tried to concentrate on what Alex was telling her about the children, and their school. She knew it was private and named after a famous man. In England, that meant it was expensive. All of Tony’s friends had children and they all attended private institutions that Tony called ‘stuck up’, which she found curious because Tony had attended one of the most expensive of all.
The Moores’ house was not as big as her own – Tony’s house – but it was smart and well-tended. At home she had more rooms to escape to, should she need them, but here they all huddled on the grass, standing awkwardly, until Alex suggested she help with taking plates out to the table, which was set under an awning, covered in silver and crystal, as if this was their standard dinner preparation. Monika knew it wasn’t. They didn’t need to impress Tony, but Monika got the impression that Jeremy wanted to. The men’s conversation turned to trading and bonds, a subject Monika knew little about, and she was glad to have something else to keep her busy.
Alex looked in control, as she always did. She wore her clothes effortlessly and her hair had been cut a little shorter, giving her more of an air of authority. She told Monika where to lay crockery and Monika followed her instructions exactly. Occasionally, between folding napkins and carrying platters of nibbles out to the table, she glanced at Tony, who always drank too much when he was with Jeremy.
Her eyes locked with her husband’s friend’s, who peered at her and smiled, but it came across as forced, and Monika suspected that Tony shared things with him that should remain private. She felt as though she might not be wearing any clothes at all.
Monika didn’t see herself as somebody who was in a position to pity another, but she felt so towards Alex. It wasn’t because Alex needed it – quite the opposite – but something about the way Jeremy looked out of place in his house made her unnerved.
‘Wow, beautiful ring!’ Alex said, picking up her hand.
Monika allowed her to hold it for a second as she admired the new bauble Tony had surprised her with. His standard apology.
‘Emerald?’ Alex asked.
Monika nodded. ‘Colombian.’
Monika knew enough about precious stones to inform her of the value of such a trinket, and she saw that Alex did too, but she also noticed that Alex wasn’t in the habit of receiving such gifts from her husband, and Monika felt silly, wishing she hadn’t worn it. It was the size of Alex’s thumbnail.
‘Don’t jump in the pool with that on, you’ll go straight to the bottom,’ Alex said.
A spray of water showered Monika’s skirt and she stepped back from the poolside.
‘Boys!’ Alex admonished her sons.
They were growing strong and James looked like a man. But Tony saved his affection for the youngest, Ewan, whose jaw was developing and voice becoming lower in tone.
Tony emerged from the pool house in shorts and dive bombed the kids, making everyone laugh.
‘Come in, Jeremy!’ Tony shouted. But Jeremy made an excuse. He never took off his shirt.
Monika watched as Lydia swam to the steps and got out, saying she was cold. Monika understood that the pool was now crowded with testosterone and felt for the girl, who looked skinnier than last time. Monika smiled at her but Lydia scuttled past, into the house.
‘Food!’ Alex announced. ‘You can go in the pool after.’
Tony had told her that Jeremy was cooking the BBQ but Monika watched as Alex tended the coals and turned the meat, checking it one last time before bringing it to the table. Jeremy simply stood around like a spare utensil, never letting go of his wine glass.
They took their places under the awning and the shade afforded some relief. Monika felt overdressed.
‘So, skiing at Christmas?’ Tony asked.
‘Where can you ski in summer?’ James asked Tony.
‘Japan. Or the Andes. My God, yes, I’ll take you there. Las Leñas. Those Latin women are to die for.’
James laughed and shook his head at the same time. Old men had no idea how repulsive they were to the younger generation.
Monika picked at her food, and watched Lydia do the same.
‘How are those fencing lessons I’m paying for?’ Tony asked Ewan.
He made the young boy blush and Monika glanced at Alex.
‘They’re coming on nicely, Tony, thank you. It was a thoughtful birthday present,’ Alex said.
‘Deal with those bullying pricks, eh?’ Tony nudged Ewan. His speech was slowed down from the effects of the narcotics and booze, but nobody else seemed to notice.
The clatter of cutlery on plates jangled Monika’s nerves suddenly, and the sun crept behind the awning onto her shoulder, turning it pink. She moved slightly and knocked over a glass of wine.
Jeremy jumped up. ‘I’ll get it,’ he said.
His words slurred like Tony’s. He mopped up the puddle of wine with a napkin and refilled her glass. She glanced at Tony, who glared at her.
James finished his food and said he had to study upstairs. Ewan followed him and Lydia took the opportunity to leave the table too, her food simply rearranged on her plate. Suddenly it was the four of them. Monika excused herself and went to the bathroom to breathe. She closed the door and checked her phone. She answered three messages and sat down on the closed toilet lid, allowing herself to slouch. A gloriously delicious sensation of freedom washed over her and she sat there for long minutes, wishing she was somewhere else.
She caressed the emerald ring and took it off, changed her mind and put it back on. It sat heavily on her finger, like a name tag, or the vintage details of a fine wine. A dog collar.
In the kitchen, Alex tidied up and smiled warmly when Monika reappeared.
‘You okay?’ Alex asked.
Monika nodded.
‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’
‘God, no! Tony wouldn’t have that.’
A shadow crossed Alex’s face and Monika backtracked.
‘We would have had children, but not at the moment. It’s tricky.’
‘Tricky?’
‘Maybe I’ve got the wrong word.’
But it was too late. Alex saw through her attempt to use her second language as an excuse. Her English was perfect.
‘Your children are a credit to you,’ Monika said.
Alex looked at her oddly, and after a pause, said thank you, as if no one ever said it, and furthermore, she didn’t believe it herself.
Their attention was drawn outside as Tony swore loudly, and the women peered out of the kitchen window. Tony’s head was bleeding and Jeremy was laughing his head off. Tony joined him and fell to the ground, where they rolled around like children. Monika and Alex went outside and asked what on earth had happened. Monika went to Tony to examine his head. The blood wasn’t stopping. It needed some form of dressing.
‘Get off me, woman!’ Tony snapped.