Tony and Jeremy reminisce about the good old days and I know my part in this amateur production has come to an end. My need to stay sober today, not least for Ewan, who has had the shock of his life, overpowers my fleeting desire for booze. I can close the doors on Tony and Jeremy and get on with my day. The serious conversation of how to get Tony out of this mess is over. The rest of the afternoon will be a trip down memory lane that I don’t wish to hear. Eventually, they’ll turn maudlin and Sarah’s untimely demise will come up. It’s a conversation I don’t need to be a part of. They were both in love with her.
I’ve had several missed calls on my phone and I excuse myself. They’ve forgotten that I’m not drinking and also how dull they have become because they are.
‘Sorry, guys, I have to return some calls.’
‘Nutters in need?’
Tony uses his pet name for my clients.
‘Precisely. They don’t stop being crazy just because it’s the weekend.’
I walk towards the house and listen to my messages.
The first is from Carrie. She wants advice on something. She says she’s had a shock and is struggling to control her triggers and she feels like using. It’s a big deal because the woman has been dry for five years. The next one is from Grace. She tells me she’s also had a shock and is suffering panic attacks. Henry’s is the last I listen to, but like a typical man, he says the least out of the three. I hear his voice differently, armed now with what I know.
I take a deep breath and call Carrie first. She picks up, anxiously waiting for my call no doubt. I go into the lounge and close the door. No one can hear my private calls in here. It’s nice and cool and it’s one of the only rooms in the house where there isn’t a need to assuage somebody’s pain today. Until I listen to what Carrie tells me.
‘Carrie, it’s Doctor Alex. How are you doing?’
‘Alex, thank you for calling me back at such short notice. I’m struggling a bit, if I’m honest.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ve made some time. Okay, start at the beginning. Take a deep breath, can you tell me a bit about why?’
‘I did use,’ Carrie said.
I wait. It doesn’t take long for Carrie to fill in the details.
‘It was shock, I guess. I freaked out when I heard noises in my house. I thought I was being burgled again. I was triggered, but I didn’t see it coming. It got hold of me before I knew it. I went to a friend’s house and accepted a drink, I didn’t even think about the consequences. It led to other stuff and I’m so angry with myself.’
I can hear the anguish in her voice.
‘So you made a mistake. Is anyone hurt?’
‘No. Yes! Can I see you?’
It’s a different Carrie I’m talking to, the one I met five years ago. It’s a red flag.
‘You said you thought somebody broke into your house?’
She’s crying. I think I might have to see her today; the poor woman sounds broken. Something else has happened. I wait. It doesn’t take long.
‘My friend is in trouble. I’m in trouble. I’m caught up in something, Alex. With the police.’
‘The police?’
‘I went to the station in Cambridge this morning. They didn’t delve into my past because I’m just a material witness at the moment, but if they do…’
‘Why would they? What’s your involvement in the case?’
‘I’m not involved, it’s just I know how the police work, remember? The way the detective looked at me, at Tony’s house, I just know what he was thinking.’
‘Tony?’
I close my eyes and a thousand pieces slot into place. Henry screwing Monika… Tony screwing Carrie…
‘Just a friend, his wife is… dead.’
You’re the train buddy that Tony was fooling around with last night when the police turned up. If it was DI Hunt I can only imagine what a smirk he will have had on his face. Cambridge just got even smaller. Carrie is still talking and I’ve never heard her like this before. She’s terrified.
‘You know how this goes, I’ll be asked to testify. I’m involved now. Everything will come out. I’ll be exposed.’
‘Carrie, things have come on since the eighties. If it comes to that, I’ll be your character witness. But it won’t. Listen, why don’t we meet tomorrow? I’ll go into the office.’
My brain is whirring, I need to think.
‘Really? That would be great, I feel… unhinged.’
‘I can hear it in your voice. You say the police have already interviewed you?’
‘Yes. I took my lawyer.’
‘And are you in a relationship with this man?’
‘No! It was a one off. I’ve caught the train to King’s Cross with him for years. I don’t even fancy him, Jesus Christ. He called me and stupidly, I went. I was panicking and I needed someone to talk to.’
‘Come to my office at one p.m. tomorrow.’
Carrie lets out a gasp. ‘Thank you.’
We hang up but I hang on to my phone, as if it will give me the answers I crave. But there is somebody at the front door. I check the video intercom. A man peers back at me through the camera, and I press the mic and ask what he wants. He’s probably a salesperson trying to flog cheap roofing.
He introduces himself as Detective Inspector Paul Hunt and I freeze.
‘One moment please.’
I dart out of the lounge and out to the pool house to tell Tony and Jeremy to stay put. I will deal with Hunt. He can’t snoop around without a warrant.
The colour drains from Tony’s face.
I check my face in the hall mirror as if there is marker pen all over it telling him that his prime suspect in a murder case is sat in my pool house. I open the door.
‘DI Hunt. Sorry about that, I had something cooking.’
‘Ah, doc. We spoke over the phone.’
I make no move to invite him in.
‘Lovely house.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Anyway, I thought I’d call round. It’s a delicate matter.’
‘Is this about Monika?’
Hunt’s body language changes instantly and he apologises. ‘No, not at all, I should have said. No, I’m here to talk about your son, Ewan. May I come in?’