Why do Germans build such high-quality products?
So they won’t have to go around being nice while they fix them.
How does a German eat mussels? Knock! Knock! Knock! Aufmachen!
What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a German?
A man who’s too drunk to follow orders.
Why didn’t Hitler drink vodka?
It made him mean.
A German tourist had to fill in a form before being allowed to enter France. Under “Occupation”, he wrote: “No, just visiting.”
The bigger the German, the smaller the bathing trunks.
Did you hear about the German who started writing poetry as soon as he got up in the morning? He went from bed to verse.
A German orders two Martinis. The bartender says: “Dry?” The German says: “Nein. Zwei!”