What do you call a monkey with a stick of dynamite up its butt?
A baboom.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was tied to the first monkey.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure.
Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
He was doing an impression of a monkey.
I saw a monkey in the jungle with a tin opener. I said: “You don’t need a tin opener for a banana.” “I know,” he said. “This is for the custard.”
What did the baboon say when his sister had a baby?
“Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!”
The smaller the monkey, the more it looks like it would kill you at the first opportunity.
Two monkeys are getting into a bath. One goes: “Ooh ooh ah ah ah ah ah.” The other says: “We’ll put some cold in then.”