Suggs is marching against racism and homophobia – it’s just Madness gone politically correct.
Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.
I don’t buy fat-free milk, because I don’t want to encourage cows with negative body image issues.
I am not stupid; I suffer from minimal cranial development.
I am not lazy; I am energetically declined.
I am not clumsy; I am uniquely coordinated.
I am not a psychopath; I am socially misaligned.
I do not hog the blankets; I am thermally unappreciative.
I do not eat like a pig; I suffer from reverse bulimia.
I do not have a beer belly; I have developed a liquid grain storage facility.
I am not going bald; I am in follicle regression.
I do not have body odour; I have non-discretionary fragrance.
I am not weird; I am behaviourally different.
I am not old; I am chronologically gifted.
I am not late; I have a rescheduled arrival time.
I am not ignorant; I am factually unencumbered.
I am not overweight; I am gravity-enhanced.
I am not a bad dancer; I am overly Caucasian.
I am not short; I am anatomically compact.
I am not a lousy cook; I am microwave-compatible.
I am not unemployed; I am involuntarily leisured.
I am not drunk; I am chemically inconvenienced.
I am not ugly; I am aesthetically challenged.
I am not a male chauvinist pig; I have swine empathy.
The Internet has become too politically correct. What’s all this nonsense about disabled cookies? In my day they were broken biscuits.