What’s the difference between a Russian funeral and a Russian wedding?
One less drunk.
Did you hear about the Russian abortion clinic? There’s a 12-month waiting list.
What’s the difference between America and Russia?
In America, you find a party; in Russia, the party finds you.
There are only two kinds of Russian soup: one made from beet and cabbage, the other from cabbage and beet.
What was the name of the Russian who invented a cure for the common cold?
Benylin Forchestikov.
In the west, you watch television; in Russia, the television watches you.
Is it safe to eat apples from Chernobyl?
Yes, but you have to bury the core at least 10 feet deep.
Inside every Russian lady . . . there’s another Russian lady.
Did you hear about the new chain of Russian coffee shops? It’s called Tsarbucks.
Why do Russians go around in threes?
So that there is one who can read, one who can write and one who can keep an eye on the two intellectuals.
Did you hear about the new Russian condom? It’s called Red Riding Hood.