Two pythons had an argument. Afterwards, the male python coiled his body and planted a kiss on the female’s mouth. The female python said: “You can’t get round me just like that you know.”
What do you call a snake who works for the British government?
A civil serpent.
Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said: “Go forth and multiply”?
They couldn’t, because they were adders.
I met an Indian who worked with cobras. He was a charming man.
My friend was bitten by a rattlesnake, and I tried to save him by telling him an amusing story. If I’d known the difference between antidote and anecdote, I guess he’d be alive today.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Why did the boa constrictors get married?
They had a crush on each other.
What did St Patrick say to the snakes when he was driving them out of Ireland?
“Are ye all right in the back there, lads?”