When I’m bored I like to play a game with my deaf wife while she is Hoovering. I unplug it and time how long it takes her to notice.
Sometimes when I’m bored I like to fill my bath up with water and turn on the shower so that I can pretend I’m in a submarine that just got hit.
He’s the kind of bore who’s here today and here tomorrow.
I’m not saying my uncle is boring, but he has the knack of staying longer in a couple of hours than most people do in a couple of weeks.
He’s so dull that it took him 25 years of marriage to get the seven-year-itch.
Bores are interesting to a point – the point when they start talking.
He is so insignificant you could lose him in a crowd of two.
He can bore more than the average termite.
A bore is someone who, generally speaking, is generally speaking.
He’s the kind of guy who can brighten a room just by leaving it.
I have seen people in comas with livelier personalities than him.
A bore deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
His wife encouraged him to take up rifle shooting because he’s a small bore.
He’s so boring that when he watches a movie, the actors fall asleep.
He’s so boring that when he throws a boomerang it doesn’t come back.
He is so boring his idea of a night on the tiles actually involves grouting.
A friend of mine was boared to death: he was killed by a wild pig.