My cavity wasn’t fixed by my regular dentist but by a guy who was filling in.
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.
I went to the dentist today and sat in the waiting room flicking through the magazines. Isn’t it terrible John Lennon’s dead?
Patient: “What should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth?”
Dentist: “Don’t smile in a bad neighbourhood.”
What was the name of the Scottish dentist?
Phil McCavity.
Patient: “Can you recommend anything for yellow teeth?”
Dentist: “Yes. A brown tie.”
I didn’t know my uncle had a false tooth until it came out in conversation.
Her teeth have so many cavities, she talks with an echo.
Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine when having root canal surgery?
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
The dentist went to great pains to fix my teeth.
Did you hear about the dentist who was a keen photographer? He had film on his teeth.
The dentist told me: “Your teeth are fine, but your gums will have to come out.”
If you have toothache, hit your thumb hard with a hammer. Then you’ll forget about the toothache.
Be good to your teeth, or they will be false to you.
I told my dentist that $90 was a lot of money for pulling a tooth – just five seconds’ work. So he pulled it slowly.
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
What did the dentist say to the tooth?
“You look so cute I’d like to take you out.”
Why are dentists always broke?
Because they live from hand to mouth.
I used some of that striped toothpaste, and now I’ve got striped teeth.
Why did the jacket potato go to the dentist?
He had to have some fillings.
I went to the dentist. He said: “Say ‘Aaah’.” I said: “Why?” He said: “My dog died.” Tommy Cooper
He has teeth like the Ten Commandments – all broken.
People with big teeth are popular at parties – until someone finds the bottle opener.
I’ve been to the dentist several times, so I know the drill.
Patient: “I’m very nervous. This is my first extraction.”
Young dentist: “Don’t worry. It’s my first extraction, too.”
Nurse: “Why did you hit the dentist?”
Patient: “He got on my nerves.”
My wife has had so much bridge work, every time I kiss her I have to pay a toll.
You should be nicer to dentists – they have fillings too.
My dentist makes the best false teeth. They’re so lifelike, they even ache.
A husband gets home from a visit to the dentist. His wife asks in concern: “Does your tooth still hurt?” “I don’t know,” says the husband. “He kept it.”
Why did the king go to the dentist?
To get his teeth crowned.
Dentist: “OK, Mrs Grimshaw, there’s no need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth, I expect to stand outside.”
Did you hear about the dentist who went out with a manicurist? They used to fight tooth and nail.