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Avalon
“I can’t believe this.” I said to myself as I stared at my laptop screen. Looking at the incoming call for the video chat, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to hit the red X or the blue checkmark to accept the call.
My right hand was on top of the wireless mouse, but I was frozen in place. All I wanted to do was sit at my laptop in my comfortable chair and order a pair of cute heels and a matching purse from DSW and some cute dresses from Fashion Nova.
The last thing I expected, especially after twenty-five years was to receive a video chat request from Calvin Kennedy. The years had aged him perfectly and enhanced his handsome features. Though he looked slightly different, I could never forget his face.
My mouth was cotton ball dry. Grabbing my bottled water, I took three large gulps of the cold water, which surprisingly emptied the bottle.
I always stayed ready, but to answer this call I needed to make sure everything popped just right. I placed a thin layer of Tiramisu colored NYX butter gloss and a thin layer of MAC lip glass on my lips. Finger combed my short cut, and prepared to come face to face with my past. Moving the mouse slightly to the right. I clicked the blue icon and answered the call.
“Lord Jesus this man is still fine.” I thought to myself as I stared at a face that I hadn’t seen in decades.
“Calvin Kennedy.” Was all I said as we looked at each other.
Before he said anything, he just stared at me. Like he was trying to take all of me in. I could see the smile in his eyes, which let me know that he was pleased with what he saw.
“Avalon Marie Bradshaw. You’re still as beautiful as I remember. It’s nice to see you Ava.” Calvin said. His salt and pepper beard was groomed to perfection. It was obvious that whatever he did after leaving me and our daughter in the kitchen nearly thirty years ago had worked in his favor.
“Did anyone ever tell you that it’s rude to stare? Of all the faces I thought I would’ve seen today, yours was definitely not in my Top 3, 5, or 10.” I said truthfully.
The day Calvin left, I made peace with the fact that he was gone for good. I accepted the fact that him leaving meant he had closed the book on our relationship. It had already deteriorated. So, I could honestly say, I never expected to see his face ever again.
“Same here. I wasn’t expecting to see your beautiful face either. But the moment I saw a profile picture of your flawless caramel skin, that sexy mole on the left side of your nose, plump lips and your bright hazel eyes. I had to say something.
Because I knew you never would have. I’ve dreamt about you every night Avalon. So much so that I came back and looked for you and my daughter, more than a few times. You really look beautiful Avalon.” Calvin said.
I could feel my heart about to beat out of my chest. I hated to admit it, but after all the shit this man had put me through in the past. A part of me missed him too. He was my first love, my children’s father, there was no way that I could ever forget him.
“Why were you looking for me? It seems kind of strange that you would. You left on your own, I didn’t ask you to leave.” I said honestly.
“Time has a way of making people forget about how history actually played out.” Calvin smirked. His slight arrogance kind of pissed me off and turned me on. I really wasn’t the type to get antsy and flustered, but when someone insinuated that I was a liar, my defensive side kicked in.
“Excuse you, I didn’t ask you to leave.” I said with a bit of edge to my tone.
“That’s true you didn’t ask me to leave. But I knew that you were tired of me. You fell out of love with me. That was my fault so I can’t hold that against you.
But, I came looking for you because you were my first love. The mother of my children. After all these years, you are still the first person I think of when I wake up and before I fall asleep.
I never got married or had any other kids. I felt like marrying someone else would be disrespectful. Even though I was gone, I never wanted it to seem like I forgot about you and Kiana.
You had my back, back then Ava. But the drugs had a hold on me in a way that you could never understand. It was so bad that your tough love wasn’t enough to save me. I had hit rock bottom, but I had enough common sense left to know that if I stuck around that I was going to bring you and Kiana down, and I couldn’t do that.
It was easier for me to leave than to disgrace my family any more than I had already done. I moved away, checked into rehab. It was hard, I relapsed six times before I actually got it together. But this picture gave me the strength to get it right.” Calvin said as he pulled the last family portrait that we took at Sears out. We took the picture a month before Kennedy died.
I had seen the portrait several times over the years. Especially since I had the 10x13 portrait on my fireplace mantle. But the fact that he had our family portrait brought tears to my eyes. Because I had no idea that he had it. The day he left, he didn’t take anything but the clothes on his back. I wanted to cry, but I refused to let the tears fall. I was not about to let him think that he was getting to me.
“Calvin, listen...”
“Avalon, I wanna see you. I want to spend time with you and reconnect with Kiana. I know she has kids because I’ve been stalking her Facebook page. I want to get to know my grandkids. I really did try to find you each time I came home. I went to Kickin’ Chicken the last time I was there, and Vicky was outside asking for spare change. At first, she didn’t even recognize me.
She looked like death and smelled even worst. I asked her if she knew where you were, and she said she hadn’t seen you since you kidnapped Charmaine. Avalon, if I had stayed here, I would’ve been another Vicky.
Standing on the corner in two-month-old dirty clothes. No teeth. I had to leave, and I’m glad you were strong enough to stay away from her. She would’ve brought you down.” Calvin said. He looked at me with so much intensity that I had to divert my eyes.
“This isn’t a good idea Cal. Decades have slipped between us. We don’t know each other anymore. It was easy for me to let you leave because you betrayed me in the worst way.
I stopped knowing who you were when I saw you having a good time with my best friend. It took a long time to get over that. So, I think I’m going to pass on the reunion. You look good though Cal. It’s obvious that whatever you had to do worked for you. I have to go.” I said as I moved the mouse to the end chat icon.
I could feel myself beginning to cry, and I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears. I could’ve dealt with the fact that he left, but I couldn’t handle the fact that he left me alone to raise our child.
“Wait a minute Avalon. That thing with Vicky was a mistake. I never liked her ass and you know that. You were too classy to be friends with a woman like her.
But when that monkey is on your back, even your enemy can become your friend if they can supply your habit. That’s all what you saw was. Payment for a few lines and some rock.” He said as he diverted his eyes.
I could see the embarrassment and shame in his eyes as he said those things to me. I was shocked that he revealed that, but more shocked that for the past thirty minutes I was having a civil conversation with the father of my kids.
“Calvin, I’ve never had to battle with addiction so I can’t discredit what you or any person may do to get your next fix. But, I was sober and felt all the pain that came along with your habit. I don’t want to deal with that again.” I said feeling myself about to break down.
“Avalon, I told you that once I got myself together that I’d be back. I’ve been clean for twenty-three years. I don’t even drink or smoke cigarettes anymore. I’ll smoke a cigar but that’s it. I know this may sound crazy, but I wanna pick up where we left off. I love you. I never stopped loving you.” Calvin said through the Facebook video chat.
I was having so many mixed emotions that I couldn’t decide whether I was mad, angry, happy or just confused.
“God give me strength.” I said to myself as I stared into the eyes of the man that I loved and hated. If I knew that creating a Facebook account would have brought this blast from the past back, I would’ve never agreed to become a part of the social media hype. I didn’t like not being in control of my emotions.
“You wanna do what? Calvin you must’ve lost your mind. The last time I saw you, my daughter-”
“Our daughter.” Calvin said cutting me off. “Kiana is our daughter, not just yours.” He said.
“No, I said it correctly. You left her, I never did. So, I’ll say it again. The last time I saw you, my daughter was only five-years-old. She’s thirty-two now. Did you think you could come back into my life, our life, after twenty-five years and just start over? She has her own family now.
There ain’t nothing between us Calvin. It doesn’t work like that. I don’t know why you even called me on this video mess. How did you even find me?” I asked. I was feeling so many different emotions that I couldn’t think straight.
This man had run me through the ringer and hung me out to dry. I was in a good space in my life and I didn’t need someone that had lied to me, cheated on me, abandoned me and his kids. Now he was trying to come back and disrupt my life.
“Avalon, I’m not the same man you knew back then. I know Facebook is only social media, but you wouldn’t have accepted my request if you weren’t curious about me too. You wanted to know if I changed and I have. I can book your flight and you can come here, or I can come to you. Either way works for me.” Calvin said. He stared at me without blinking, which let me know that he was serious.
“You said every time you came home you were looking for me. Where do you live?” I asked.
“KCMO”
“KCMO? How did you end up in Kansas City?” I asked. I just assumed that when he left that he’d go to Georgia if he left the state or somewhere further South like Miami. I had no idea that he ventured off to the Midwest.
“The day I left, I had $3500 in my pocket. I gave you $1000 and the rest was all I had to my name. I drove to Etta, Mississippi and ended up at Oxford Treatment Center. It was rough for a long time. I thought I was going to die while I was detoxing.
It was the worst feeling in the world. At first, I kept relapsing because I didn’t think I needed to be there. I told myself I could quit at any time. But I knew I was kidding myself. When I finally got it together, one of the people from the group that I became friends with, told me that he was part owner of a real estate company in Kansas City.
He said if I gave him a ride that he had a place for me to stay and he could help me get my real estate license. So, I agreed. Come to find out I was a natural when it came to selling houses and negotiating contracts between buyers, sellers, and the lending bank. I’ve got a good life here, and I want you to be a part of it. Please Avalon.” Calvin said.
A part of me was jealous that he did so well without me. I mean, I had an amazing life in Florida, but somehow knowing that he was doing great after abandoning me and our daughter, pissed me off.
“What happened to your friend?” I asked just because I wasn’t quite ready to answer him.
“He relapsed. I had a feeling that he was still getting high, but I wanted to believe that I was wrong. We made so much money, buying and flipping houses that he wanted to celebrate his new wealth. His wife found him in the study of their home office, he overdosed on Heroin. I haven’t had the urge to even touch a drug. I want you to be a part of my life again. We have a lot of catching up to do.” He said and smiled. I was so wrapped in his words that I didn’t realize that my mouth was moving.
Before I even had time to think about what I was saying, I said, “You can come here. I’m at 2102 Bell Rock Estates.” I didn’t even recognize my own voice as I rattled off my address.
“Wow, Bell Rock Estates. You definitely moved up and out of our old neighborhood.” He laughed.
RING!! RING!! RING!!
“Ahhh.” I screamed as my ringing phone caused me to jump. I was so wrapped up in Calvin’s life that the ringing phone scared me. I gripped my chest because I thought for sure that I was on the verge of having a heartache. I felt like I was caught doing something that I had no business doing.
“Who’s calling you that has you jumping like that?” Calvin asked. The familiar jealous look that I hadn’t seen since I was in my early 30’s creased my face and caused me to smile inwardly. After all the mess he did to me and put me through, I never understood how he could be so jealous.
“It’s Kiana. Hold on let me see what’s going on with her.” I said to him. He sat up straight as a board as alertness kicked in like he needed to be listening for something.
“Today is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I said when I answered the phone. The only time I ever said Hello was when I was angry. All I could hear was her tears and that sent me on high alert. My daughter wasn’t a crybaby. She had thick skin and if something made her cry, I knew that it was serious.
“Princess Kiana, what’s wrong baby?” I asked. The cheerfulness that I exuded when I first answered the phone was now gone.
“Ma. Mommy. It’s over. It’s really over.” She said through her tears, not making any sense.
“Baby, what’s over. What are you talking about?” I asked.
“My...My marriage is over. I shot Brick. I didn’t mean too. It just happened.” She said.
“You did what? Kiana how the hell...Where is Ava and Elise?” I asked. I stood up running around the room looking for my car keys. My baby needed me.
“They’re upstairs. I need you to...”
“Keep them upstairs. I’ll be there with the heavy-duty plastic and tarp in about thirty minutes, so we can cleanup. In three days report him missing. By that time, we’ll have everything disposed of.” I said quickly.
Hearing her laugh caught me off guard. Because less than five seconds she was bawling her eyes out.
“Girl what’s so funny?” I asked with major attitude.
“Ma, it’s not like that. I don’t need a cleanup crew. Brick’s not dead. I shot him in the shoulder. I see its easy for you to transform from ‘Ms. Church every Sunday’ to ‘Mob wife’.” She laughed.
“It’s easy for me to transform from ‘Ms. Church every Sunday’ to ‘Ms. Do what I gotta do to make sure my child is ok.’” I said and meant every word.
“Ma, I just need you to come and get the girls. I need some time alone. I let them stay home from daycare because we were supposed to have a family day. But things changed.”
I could see Calvin on the monitor staring at me intensely. I placed the phone on mute while she spoke so she couldn’t hear me talking to him.
“Calvin, I have to talk to you later. I gotta go get my grandbabies.” I said
“What’s going on? Why are you getting tarp?” He asked worriedly.
“It was just a misunderstanding. I don’t need those things.” I said truthfully. I didn’t want him to think that my daughter and I had taken on a life of crime in his absence.
“You have your number on your profile. So, I’ll call you in about an hour.” He said
“Ok.” Was all I said before I disconnected the chat session.
I could hear my daughter sobbing on the phone. Taking the phone off mute, I began to speak to my daughter.
“Tell me what’s going on Ki.” I said like I had been listening the whole time and not talking to her father.
“Last night, or this morning rather. I heard loud banging on my door. So, you know me. I put the girls in one room. Grabbed my pistol and went downstairs...”
“And I’m assuming Brick was at the door.” I interrupted.
“Yeah. It was him. Ma, he looked so good when I opened the door and saw him. He looked like everything I missed. My love, my best friend, my husband. He looked so good that it pissed me off. I hated him for putting me in a situation that made me leave. For fifteen minutes we stood in the doorway arguing. Until it got so loud that the girls woke up. I fought tooth and nail to avoid letting him in my house.”
“You fought tooth and nail because you knew what would happen if you were to let him in the house.” I said.
“You’re right Ma. The sad truth is, I wanted him so bad that it scared me. The level of need and want that I have for Clifton is so strong that it makes me sick. I don’t think I’ve ever been a fool for a man. I’ve always been to smart and too driven to fall for their bullshit lines and games.
I always worked and had my own bands, so I didn’t need to stay where I didn’t feel like I was wanted. I was never any man’s fool. But, I knew that if Clifton Brick came into my house, that I’d be a fool for him. Because I love him just that much.” She said. I could here the tears in her voice as she spoke.
“Sweetheart, do you think you’re the first strong willed woman to ever be a fool for her man? You’re only one of many. Hell, I was one. Which is how I ended up with two kids. You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last.” I said. It seemed like I was still being a fool because honestly, I couldn’t wait to see Calvin. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I saw him.
“I know Ma. But I thought I was different. I wanted to believe that I was different. But I realized that I was just a woman in love.” She admitted.
“I know baby. It’s ok. So, how did he end up with a bullet in his behind.” I asked.
“When we were in the kitchen laughing and talking with our girls. Someone came knocking hard on my front door. We sent the kids upstairs and he started saying if I had a nigga at my house with his daughters that I’d regret it. Then Charmaine’s voice came through the door.”
“WHOSE VOICE?!” I screamed. I knew that how loud my voice was that I’d be hoarse. I couldn’t believe that she said Charmaine was still at it.
“You heard me Avalon. She was beating on my door, screaming his name and talking crazy. Then I swung the door open with my gun in my hand. She looked like she almost shit a brick.
But I was the one truly in shock because Charmaine is very much pregnant. She said he left her home alone last night and she logged into his find my phone app and tracked him to my house. That bitch came to my house, with a stomach full of a baby that belongs to my husband.
Mine!! He is my fucking husband and he put his dick in that bitch, put a baby in her, then came here to me. Fucked me raw, not once, but two times and lied to my face!! I had to do it. I had to light his ass up. He deserved it!!” She screamed.
I could hear the devastation in her voice. So many old memories flooded my brain. Charmaine was just as jealous and whorish as her damn mama.
“Kiana, baby. I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I remember years ago, Vicky did the same shit to me. Me and your daddy, used to have an amazing relationship. I loved that niggas dirty drawers and Vicky knew that. One night he and I got into an argument because he was slipping.
He was sniffing more coke than he was selling, and I had had enough. He got mad and stormed out of the house. When he wasn’t home by midnight, I loaded you and your brother in the car and went to my best friend’s house. Vicky knew all the spots, so I wanted to know if she had seen him in the streets.
I had my own key to Vicky’s house because I always wanted access to Charmaine. When I went into Vicky’s room, I almost had a heart attack. She had her face buried into a pillow while the man I dated for eleven years and had two kids for was behind her digging for gold.
All women play the fool sometimes. I don’t know why our men chose our best friends. And I don’t know why we take them back. But we do. I’m on my way to get my grandbabies. I’ll keep them for the whole week.” I said as I hung up. I chuckled though nothing I said was funny.
Even though Cal told me why he did it. It still hurt knowing that he had sex with someone that I loved like a sister. I was so lost in thought during my drive that I didn’t realize that I got to Kiana’s house in record time.
“If it isn’t Avalon Bradshaw. Don’t you look adorable.” Kiana smiled, though I could tell she was crying.
“I look adorable, but you not so much. Come here Key-Key Bear.” I said calling her by the name my son used to call her. As soon as she fell into my arms she broke down. I could feel her whole body shaking, which broke my heart. Men could be so selfish sometimes.
“Why would he do me like that Ma? I was a good wife to him and I’m an amazing mother to our daughters. I brought everything to the table. What did I do? What did I do to deserve him doing me like that?”
“I don’t know Baby. But, I’m sorry he did you like that. I know this heartache is too much for you to carry right now. But this too, shall pass. Mama has never lied to you baby, and I won’t start now. I want you to take a warm bath, drink a glass of wine, and lay in your large comfortable bed and relax. This too shall pass.”
“Hi Grandma!!” Ava and Elise yelled before Kiana could finish her sentence.
“Hey Babies, are y’all packed up and ready to go?” I said smiling extremely wide. My grandbabies were the sweetest little angels that I ever met, and they were also the perfect distraction. They were so busy that I knew they’d keep Calvin off my mind.
“Walk us to the car Kiana.” I said as I opened the door of Kiana’s house and walked to my midnight black Corvette.
“We’re going to have a good week. So, you don’t need to worry about them. Relax and try to clear your head. This too shall pass.” I said and got in my car.
“Ma, before you go did you ever forgive Aunt Vicky or my Dad?” Kiana asked.
“Yes, I had to forgive them. Which is why I’m so blessed.” I said.
“One more question.” She said looking at the ground like a scared child.
“What is it sweetheart?” I asked as she placed the seatbelt on Ava and Elise.
“You said something while we were on the phone. Maybe I’m reading too much into it. But you said, ‘I don’t know why we take them back but we do.’ Have you been talking to Kennedy’s dad? I mean have you taken him back or are you planning on taking him back?” She asked.
My body tensed up by the question. I was not expecting her to ask me a question like that. The fact is I didn’t even remember saying that.
“Ma, are you...”
“Kiana, you and Kennedy have the same father. He didn’t die when your brother did. Make sure the choices you’re about to make are the right ones for you and your family. I’ll see you this weekend. Love you baby.” I said then drove off.
“What does, ‘He didn’t die when your brother did’ even mean. Why did I say that?” I asked myself. Talking to Calvin had me so flustered that I was saying things that didn’t make any sense. Maybe I was just nervous about telling Kiana the truth.
Kiana and I were thick as thieves and I wasn’t used to telling her half-truths or eluding her questions. We weren’t built to lie to each other.
“Grandma your phone is ringing.” Elise said getting my attention.
“It is?” I asked. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even hear the phone ringing.
“Yep. The same number has called three times. Are you ok Grandma?” Ava asked. I was tripping because I honestly didn’t hear the phone ringing. Picking it up from the cup holder, I stared at the unfamiliar number, then answered.
“Today is the day...”
“It’s me Avalon. No need for the long greeting. Is Key-Key Bear ok?” Calvin asked after interrupting my greeting. I was shocked that he really went online and got my phone number. Now I knew for sure that I’d be disabling my Facebook Account.
“Yeah, she’s ok. All she needed was some attention.” I said. I was not about to share my daughter’s business with him. Yes, he was her father, but he had been MIA for too long. He was no longer privy to family business. You had to earn trust, it wasn’t given by default. If Kiana wanted him to know her business, she’d tell him when he got here.
