I get out of there like the building is on fire. He can go to hell.
Did I even need to give him an explanation? I should have made him go first. If he’s not willing to open up, then there is no point. I spent years in a relationship that doesn’t work for me, and I refuse to do the same again, no matter how desperate I am to run back into his arms.
Not once has he tried to tell me anything. He’s only ever been evasive about certain parts of his past.
It was torture sitting across the table from him. I can barely remember what was said in there, just a load of Christmas chatter that I’m so not ready for. All I recall is the way he stared at me. How broken and desperate he looked. I wanted to leap across the table and sink into his embrace, but where would that get me? He’s still the one keeping secrets.
If he wants to fix this, he’s going to have to start talking.
I get into my car and slam the door. He hasn’t followed me out here. I never expected him to. That would involve talking to me.
Kelly and Phoebe were also tight-lipped when it came to the reading thing.
I take a breath and pull out of the car park.
As much as I want to give in, I know I can’t. Reid needs time, and I’m going to give it to him. For some reason, I’m scared. He has a fear of opening up, and I’d be a liar if I said I’m not a bit worried.
How bad could it be?
I’m not being dramatic here, but there’s not much that would put me off him. I try not to let my mind wonder. What if he was sick and started reading in hospital to pass the time? What if he’s still sick?
No way. That’s something he would have told me, I’m sure of it.
What else can it be?
I drive straight to Wren’s house. It’s her day off, and I don’t feel like going to any of the classes I have today. She’ll let me drown my sorrows and chew her ear off.
“I hate him,” I say as soon as she opens the door.
“Uh-huh. Come in.”
“Where are the dogs?”
“Brody’s taken them for a walk to the lakes. You know, because he really hates that we have three dogs. I caught him sleeping on the sofa with them this morning. Apparently, Apollo was whining so he came down. They were cuddled up. Cutest thing ever, but you didn’t come here to discuss my husband or my pets.”
“I’m here for the booze.”
“Day drinking.”
I kick off my shoes. “Hasn’t it been such a long time since we got properly drunk in the middle of the day? Not that you can day drink until after your kid tears you a new one.”
“Never say that again. The meeting went that badly?”
“Ugh. I mostly pretended he wasn’t there, but he corned me in the office once everyone had left.”
“Tequila or Jäger?” she asks, leading me into the kitchen.
“Erm, both.”
“You’re getting drunk today or hospitalised?”
“Just drunk, I think.”
Wren grabs the tequila and puts the bottle on the breakfast bar. “Let’s start slow, babe. You’re going to regret this in the morning.” She grabs herself a glass of water.
“He’s seemed so in, Wren. Like, I’m not alone in this. He’s always right there… but there’s a few things he won’t share and I don’t understand why not.”
“Have you asked him?”
She pours tequila into a shot glass.
I roll my eyes. “He said he’s trying to explain.”
“Trying, how?”
I throw my hands up. “Exactly! I’ve still got nothing. I really like him. I thought we were getting somewhere. I mean, we were going on actual dates. We’d made it official, and then it all went to hell.”
“Maybe he’s just thinking about the best way to tell you. Talking about the hard stuff isn’t easy.”
“I appreciate that. I spent an extra year with Liam because of that one. My point being, I’m not doing that again.”
“Good. But you also don’t want to ruin things with Reid just because you’re ready for the whole story now but he’s not. Can you give him some more time?”
“Yeah…”
She pushes the shot glass towards me. “I’m sensing a but.”
“How long? I’m not waiting around for years again.”
“Did he ask for that?”
“No.”
“Then don’t assume things are going to be how they were with Liam. They’re nothing alike. Reid wants to travel with you, show you everything you’ve dreamed of seeing, and Liam wouldn’t even take a trip to Spain.”
I down the shot, wincing at the disgusting burn of the alcohol. “They have got to start making this shit taste better.”
“Is it working?”
I push my glass back to her for a refill. “I’ll let you know.”
“Mila, I love you, girl, but you need to think logically about this. No more letting your heart rule.”
“That’s shit advice.”
“No, it’s not. You stayed with Liam for far too long because you were scared. You know that Reid is crazy about you. You know you should give him time to figure out how to talk to you, and you know that acting on impulse and telling him to stay away will only make you miserable.”
“Yeah, I know what you’re saying. I’ll give him a chance to open up. I’m just scared that he won’t, I guess. Then where does that leave me?”
“That leaves you with you. I know you’ve been with someone for a long time, but you’re awesome on your own, too. If Reid isn’t the one you’re supposed to be with, you’ll walk away.”
Reid not being the one makes me wince. That’s not an option.
“That doesn’t sound like fun.”
She shrugs. “It wouldn’t be, but we can learn a lot from the wrong ones. There’s a place for them, too.”
I don’t want Reid to be moved over to the Liam column. I don’t want to cross his name off and chalk the relationship down to another learning curve.
We were friends first. I wasn’t looking for more, but I found it.
“Reid is unlike anyone I’ve ever known.”
“Ah, that’s it. Just because he’s unlike anyone you’ve ever known, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have weaknesses. He’s not perfect so stop expecting him to be. He does need to come to you, I’ll give you that, but lower your expectations. He’s learning as much as you are.”
“When did you grow up?”
She grins and pours me another shot. “Sometimes I surprise myself.”
“You think I should wait for him now?”
“I do. Give him a minute. Let him figure out how to open up.”
“Have I been too pushy?”
“No, but you’re an open book.” She purses her lips. “Besides the Liam thing. Not everyone else is. He’ll come to you as soon as he can, I know that.”
“You don’t know that.”
“The guy is crazy about you. He’s done everything he can to get you a job at that publishing house and push you to write that book.”
“I just want to redo that day and go somewhere else.”
“You can have your do-over soon.”
“Can I get drunk now?”
She grins and slides my refilled glass back towards me. “To happy ever afters.”
“Very funny.”
“Drink up, Cinderella. Your prince is coming.”