‘Nice,’ said Mr Dodd, looking up at the wall. ‘Very nice.’
‘Hope it sells some paint,’ said Keith, wiping his hands on a rag.
‘Can’t miss,’ said Mr Dodd, ‘not with lettering that big.’
‘Hmmmmm,’ said a voice behind Keith.
Keith turned.
It was Mr Browning.
‘“Dodds Hardware For All Your Paint Needs”,’ read Mr Browning. ‘“Expert Advice. Rock Bottom Prices.” Very effective. I particularly like the contrast between the blue background and the ochre lettering.’
‘It’s Suntan Gold actually,’ said Mr Dodd.
‘Pity about the mural though,’ said Mr Browning, ‘it was very good.’
‘I liked the second version best,’ said Mr Dodd. ‘That well-built woman in the Pond Green swimsuit.’
‘They were both fine examples of non-realist art,’ said Mr Browning.
‘You’re right there, thought Keith, smiling to himself. They were a bit unrealistic.
After Mr Browning had gone, Mr Dodd invited Keith into the shop for a drink and a cake.
‘Thanks,’ said Keith, ‘but I’m a bit pressed for time. I’ve got to organise an art exhibition.’
After Keith declared the art exhibition open, he handed round tea and chocolate fingers.
It didn’t take long because there were only two people at the viewing.
‘Nice tea: said Dad.
‘Yummy chocolate fingers: said Mum.
Then they talked with the artist about his work.
Keith explained that the two paintings used to be one, but he’d cut it in half so they could each have their own bit.
‘Yours is called Nude Dad With Frying Pan,’ he told Dad. ‘Don’t touch the bald patch, it’s still a bit wet.’
‘It’s brilliantly life-like: said Dad. ‘You’ve got my saggy tummy and wobbly bottom down to a T.’
‘Art should be truthful: said Keith.
He told Mum the title of hers.
‘Venus Soaking Her Corns: she grinned. ‘I like it, though it should really be called Venus Soaking Her Corns And Droopy Shoulders.’
Keith explained about the shower curtain, and offered to paint it back in, but Mum said what was good enough for Rembrandt’s models was good enough for her.
Then it was time for Dad to go to the cafe and Mum to go and meet Donald at the pictures.
They each took their painting, and thanked him so much that by the time they’d finished he felt about six pineapple boxes tall.
They both put their arms round him and gave him a hug.
Funny, thought Keith, they both seem a bit shorter than the last time we did this.
Perhaps they’re shrinking with old age.
Then another possibility hit him.
He ran into Mum’s bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, guts tingling with happiness.
His face beamed back at him, grin included.
Keith wondered if he should send a message to the chicken nuggets and peas in his stomach. Let them know it wasn’t a big drama, he was just excited to be growing again.
No, he decided, I won’t. They’re big chicken nuggets and peas and they can look after themselves.