ALEC
“What are you doing in here?” Maddie asked, shoving my shoulder to wake me. “And why the hell are you naked? Please don’t fucking tell me that you slept with someone else in my bed!” She slammed her hand into my shoulder again, turning me over. “I swear to God, you’d better not have done that shit, Wolfe.”
I blinked my eyes open and stared up at a mess of frizzy red hair. “A good morning would have sufficed.”
Maddie yanked the pillow out from underneath my head and smacked me across the face with it. “If you slept with someone else in my room, I will kill you! You’re a disgusting piece—” The rest of her voice faded as she smacked me again. And again.
“Maddie,” I said between slaps.
Another mouthful of pillow.
“Maddie!”
Smack.
“Maddie!” I shouted, yanking the pillow from her hand and quickly turning us over in the bed so she lay underneath me. I pinned her wrists to the mattress and blew a strand of hair off my forehead. “Settle down. I didn’t sleep with anyone in your room.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and stared up at me through wide eyes, tears forming in them.
“What?” I asked.
“B-but you slept with someone else?”
My body stiffened as I thought about what had happened last night. I hadn’t slept with anyone, except her—at least not willingly. But, hell, I wasn’t about to tell her that. Because I … because how could I have let that happen? I should’ve been able to push that girl off, to protect myself.
A part of me … must have wanted it if I couldn’t even do that, right?
Right?
I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. “I didn’t sleep with anyone but you.”
Her eyes widened. “Y-you remember?”
Again, I froze.
Last night, I had led her to believe that I thought she was Sandra. It was the easiest thing for both of us to believe, apparently. But I had wanted to be with her for so fucking long.
And now, I would never be able to.
Not after … not after what had happened once I left her room.
What if I had come inside the other girl? What if she had gotten pregnant? Maddie would never want to be with someone like me, who had gotten an anonymous chick from Redwood Academy pregnant. And, fuck, I couldn’t be a dad now. All my chances at playing hockey in college would be flushed down the fucking drain. It was bad enough that the guys hadn’t believed me last night.
I stared down at Maddie, not knowing how to respond.
Guilt, shame, and fucking pain simmered inside my body. I wanted to hurl again, wanted to collapse into her arms and cry as I told her everything. But would she even believe me? She hated me—and for good reasons.
I had always been a dick to her because I couldn’t tell her how I felt.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, playing along with the stupid lie I’d told her last night.
Because I couldn’t deal with rejection right now.
“Yeah, you and Sandra both look alike,” I said. “Sorry.”
“We don’t look alike, Wolfe,” she snapped. “I’m literally like the whitest-white girl at Redwood with frizzy, bright red hair!”
A smile tugged at my lips. God, I fucking loved her frizzy hair.
“And?” I asked.
“And Sandra is Asian!” Maddie exclaimed, staring up at me like I was crazy. And when I didn’t respond, she continued, “She literally has, like, the prettiest, thickest black hair ever. Clear, glowing skin. And she wears black eyeliner that scares me half to death with how sharp it is. Do you not see a difference?!”
Play along, Wolfe.
“Not when I’m drunk,” I said.
She slammed her hands into my chest. “Get off me.”
“Are you going to hit me with a pillow again?”
“Maybe.” She glared at the wall to her right. “Besides, why are you in my bed, naked?” she asked, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “You know that my room is off-limits during parties. If Oliver catches you in here, he will literally beat the shit out of you. Have you been here all night?”
What the fuck do I say to her?
Someone took advantage of me while I slept, and I lost it, so I ran upstairs like a fucking coward to cry into your pillow? That would make me sound like a weak piece of shit who couldn’t protect himself, who couldn’t control his emotions.
Besides, I wasn’t planning on telling anyone about what had happened. Not after my teammates recorded me with my cock hanging out of my pants last night.
“Huh?” she asked, then pressed her lips together.
I tore my gaze away from her and scrambled off her. “None of your fucking business.”
Because I had dumped my dirty clothes in the bathroom, I stormed to her walk-in closet to find something to wear. I needed to get out of here and go home, never return to a fucking party again after what had happened.
I felt so dirty, so disgusting, so fucking ashamed that I had let this happen.
“Hey!” Maddie shouted, leaping up from the bed and following me. “What are you doing?” She grabbed my shoulder as I completely ransacked her closet, tossing clothes everywhere in an attempt to find something that wasn’t girlie and that would fit me. “You have your own clothes.”
“My clothes are dirty,” I said, tugging on some sweatpants and grabbing a sweatshirt.
She ripped the sweatshirt away from me. “You didn’t answer my question.”
I pulled it back and, in turn, yanked her closer to me. “I told you that it wasn’t any of your fucking business.”
She sucked in a low breath and stared up at me. “No.”
“No what?” I asked, glancing down at how close she was to me. We had never been this close when I was sober. “No, those words didn’t just fucking come out of my mouth? Or, no, you’re just not going to listen and are hell-bent on being a little brat for me?”
She widened her eyes and pressed her thighs together.
Fuck.
“Maddie,” I growled, voice low, “don’t fucking do that.”
“D-do what?” she whispered, breath hitching.
“Maddie!” Oliver shouted from outside the closet. “Your door is open. You home?”