MADDIE
After swiping some mascara over my lashes and caking on the makeup to cover up my flushed cheeks, I stared at Alec sleeping through the mirror and frowned.
Last night, I’d had to ask him a gazillion times what had happened before he finally told me that he caught his father cheating. He didn’t tell me with whom, but I didn’t want to push it. We both had a long night, and I had to sneak a sobbing Alec into my house without Oliver hearing. Thankfully, I had been able to calm him down, but still …
I shook my head and continued to prepare for the day. This morning, Mom had called from a boat somewhere far, far away and left me a voice mail, asking if I was okay, but I decided not to call her back. If they ever even cared, then they would come back every now and then. They might have been able to retire early with all the money they had, but I still needed them.
They were just gone. Always.
“Get your ass out of bed,” Vera said from my bedroom door, holding a Boston cream doughnut and an iced coffee. She widened her eyes. “Oh, you are.” She handed me the breakfast and glanced over at a groggy Alec. “Sorry if I woke you.”
“It’s okay,” I said, answering for him. I sipped the coffee. “Thanks, Vera. You’re the best.”
Vera collapsed on my couch and tossed some hair over her shoulder. “I know.”
There was shuffling out in the hallway, and then I heard the front door close, which meant that Oliver was finally gone. I hadn’t talked to him since last night, and it was driving me crazy. He was the only damn family that I had here in this fucking enormous house. I wanted to be on good terms with him, but I wasn’t going to drop Alec.
I refused to drop Alec.
Not when he was a precious, vulnerable little babe. I glanced over my shoulder at his messy hair, and his eyes were barely open. And, God, was he adorable when he first woke up. I couldn’t wait until we could spend every morning like this.
Minus the drama.
After a few moments, Vera frowned. “Are you okay? Seriously, Mads?”
“I’m fine,” I said, voice strong until the very end, when it trembled.
I stared blankly in the mirror at myself and watched the tears build in my eyes. All night, I had told myself that I was fine when I had been pushing the thoughts and feelings from yesterday back.
Even though Alec hadn’t done anything, I felt so betrayed by Redwood itself. Everyone had seen me naked and begging for Alec, like some desperate little whore. I hated it so fucking much and could only imagine what people would say to me today.
“You’re not fine,” Vera said, wrapping her arms around me from behind and resting her chin on my shoulder to stare into the mirror at me. “And it’s okay not to be okay sometimes, Maddie. I know you try to act as if nothing is wrong, but what you experienced isn’t something that can be brushed off.”
But still, I felt so bad about complaining. My problems were nothing compared to what happened in the slums of Redwood. Hell, I looked at Poison and the shitty place they lived and couldn’t help but think how small my problems were compared to theirs.
Even Vera … she didn’t live in the rich part of town. She lived in the slums too. Ms. Rodriguez worked her ass off so Vera and her brother could have a better life. My problems weren’t even problems to them.
“I shouldn’t be complaining,” I said, guilt washing over me. “I have a good life here.”
“Problems are problems,” Vera said. “We all have them. No matter how rich you are.”
Still, it felt so wrong.
The bed creaked behind us, and Alec tumbled out of the bed and landed flat on the rug, belly first. “Fuck, that hurt,” he grunted, turning over onto his back and covering his eyes with his forearm. “Why is it so bright?”
“Because it’s school time!” Vera chimed. “I’ve got to go. Blaise is outside, waiting for me.”
As if on cue, a horn beeped outside. I peered out the window to see Blaise Harleen, eating a Boston cream doughnut in the driver’s side of his sports car. I thanked Vera again for bringing over a coffee and told her that we’d see her at school.
Once she left, Alec climbed up from the floor and sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair and cursing. He hadn’t showered since yesterday. His hair was a greasy mess, and he honestly looked like shit.
But I wasn’t going to tell him that after the night he had.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked quietly, sitting beside him.
“He was fucking two guys from our school,” Alec said.
“What?”
“Two guys in our senior class.”
My eyes widened, and I opened my big mouth to respond, but I didn’t know what the hell to say to him. Did Mrs. Wolfe know? They both seemed so happy together, but his father wasn’t home a lot due to work …
He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me into his lap, and buried his face into the crook of my neck. “What the fuck am I going to do? Do I tell my mom? What will happen at school today if I see them?”
“Maybe you won’t run into them,” I offered.
“And Spencer,” he said, running another hand through his hair. “I’m so fucking stressed.”
“It’s okay,” I murmured, taking his face in my hands.
When he looked up at me, he sighed softly and grabbed my waist tighter. “I’m a terrible fucking boyfriend, huh?” He barely let out a laugh. “Can’t even ask my girl how she is doing after the worst day of her life. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Maddie.”
“I just don’t want anyone to look at me differently today, but I know that it will happen.”
“If anyone tries to fuck with you, I’ll kick their ass.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t want you getting in any more trouble. You have so much on your shoulders as it is. And if you do, you might be out for the rest of the hockey season. This is your senior year.”
“I don’t give a fuck. I’d do it for you.”
“You would risk your own hockey career for me?”
“Yes.”
It was one simple word, but it meant everything to me.
While I would never let him even think about doing that, it sorta … kinda … felt nice for someone to be devoted to me because they liked me rather than because they wanted something from me, like Spencer had.
“Why don’t we shower together?” I hummed, running my hands through his hair.
I had already put makeup on and done my hair, but I didn’t mind.
He pulled me in for a kiss. “I stink that badly?”
A giggle escaped my lips. “Maybe.”
He tossed me over his shoulder and headed toward the bathroom. “A shower then.”