9
KELSEY HAD NEVER been so glad for the end of a long drive as she was this one, and it wasn’t because her butt was falling asleep. Her plan to nurture her resentment against Ian was not going well. Probably because the resentment, in this case, wasn’t his fault; it was her father’s for pushing her toward him. Nonetheless, she thought she could have used it to keep her rebellious hormones in check. But no, her life wasn’t allowed to be that simple. Ian had ruined everything by being agreeable when he should have been insufferable and hot when he should have left her cold.
Hell, even the word insufferable no longer packed the punch it used to. She’d need a new one, but Kelsey worried what word her brain might generate. When she’d taken her eyes off the road to glance at Ian, she’d had to admit his damn dimple was cute when he smiled, and the way his fleece collar rubbed against his chin was all kinds of cozy. Part of her wanted to pet him like he was some puppy.
“Here we are.” Kelsey pulled into her grandparents’ driveway at last. She’d been to their new house only once before, and it was still strange to consider it their home.
“You said they’d downsized?” Ian peered through the window, sounding a touch incredulous, and she couldn’t blame him.
Compared to their last home, the one-story white house was small. But the grounds held two outbuildings, and even from the driveway, it was clear the place boasted an amazing view of the lake from its back-facing windows.
Kelsey shut off the engine. “My grandfather was a geologist for an oil company. Trust me—this is downsizing. It’s also why I’m getting their old furniture. They have too much now.”
“Okay then.” Shaking his head, Ian got out of the SUV. “Is there a plan for how we’re moving and packing everything?”
Kelsey flinched on the other side of the vehicle, glad Ian couldn’t see the oh-shit expression her face. “Yeah, of course. The plan is we fit as much as we can between here and the trailer.”
She popped the hatch on the back of the SUV, and Ian stood aside as she opened her supply case and started yanking out bungee cords. “What are you carrying in there?” he asked. “A roll of tin foil?”
It took her a second to realize he was seeing only a part of her Mylar blanket. “It’s just the usual supplies, you know.” She turned to hand him some of the bungees and realized from Ian’s expression that he didn’t know. “For emergencies? Especially in the winter?”
Ian absently took the cords. “Emergency supplies are jumper cables and a spare tire, aren’t they? That’s a huge box.”
Oh no. He was being a puppy again, and this time, not because he was cute but because he was clueless. Kelsey sucked on her lower lip. It shouldn’t be her job to explain this stuff to him. If he wanted to live up here, Ian could damn well do his own research. And yet . . . Yet she couldn’t withhold information from him if he might need it. She was neither that irresponsible nor that mean.
There was only one way to handle this situation. Put the puppy in his place. Remind him that he was an outsider and, in doing so, remind herself why she disliked him.
“Obviously a spare tire and jumper cables are good. But also . . .” Kelsey flung the crate fully open and started holding up its contents. “Collapsible shovel. Snow brush. Ice scraper. Mylar blanket. Wool blanket. Road flares. Hand warmers. Flashlight and spare batteries. Water bottles. Energy bars. First aid kit. Extra hats and mittens. Snow goggles. Reflective fabric. And that”—she pointed to the bag in the corner by the back seat—“is the sand you should be carrying. If I were doing a lot of driving outside of Helen in the winter, I’d bring other gear as well, but that’s the basics for winter travel. Didn’t you say you used to live in Massachusetts?”
Ian swallowed, his pallor a little paler than it had been a minute ago. “I did, but we left before I was old enough to drive. Besides, we lived in Boston. We were surrounded by civilization.”
“Well, welcome to Alaska.” Kelsey snapped the lid on her crate closed and pushed it as far back as it would go against the rear seat. Truthfully, she should have taken the bungees out at home and left the rest behind today, since the weather hadn’t turned bad yet, but she’d forgotten. “You want to retract your statement about how I won’t find you frozen like a Popsicle one day?”
It was absolutely the wrong thing to say. She’d been trying to sound bitchy, and judging from the pink that was replacing the white on Ian’s cheeks, she’d probably succeeded. But bringing up the Popsicle remark reminded her of her previous fantasies of licking him—and all his frozen parts. Now she was annoyed and turned on, and clearly, asking for Ian’s help had been such a bad idea.
Kelsey’s confused and conflicted brain was half ready to offer an apology for her tone, but then the house’s front door opened, and her grandmom called out her name. She let out a breath, thankful to put the awkward moment aside. But the tension in her shoulders remained, even as she hugged her grandparents. It was going to be a long day.
KELSEY HAD NO idea just how long. They’d only been moving furniture for an hour, but she might have aged a decade. Her grandparents weren’t in much position to help other than to carry a few light chairs, so after she’d introduced Ian and they’d surprised her by not being nosy, they’d opened their garage, showed Kelsey where the furniture was, and let her get to work.
The thing about loading inconveniently shaped wooden pieces into square-shaped vehicles was that it required coordination between the people doing the loading. As a result, Kelsey found herself in some tight corners with Ian.
Like now. She was standing in the trailer because he was too tall to do so himself, even hunched over, and he’d just handed her the last chair to tie down. His head was mere inches below hers, and she could smell the soap or aftershave on him, and damned if it didn’t smell good. Distracting, even.
That was the current word stuck in her head for him—distracting. She’d caught herself watching him lift things a couple of times. They’d both worked up a sweat, and Ian had taken off his jacket and pushed up the sleeves of his shirt. It was clingy, much like the T-shirt he’d worn in the website photo, and she could too easily imagine his muscles moving about underneath it. Maybe they were sweaty too.
Kelsey supposed watching him work was better than imagining licking him, but in the end, the activities weren’t that different in what they implied about her state of mind.
“Watch your head,” Ian called up after her, and Kelsey bit down a swear.
This was the problem with being distracted. All she really needed to improve the day was to give herself a concussion because she was picturing Ian naked.
God, she hated men. Cute, naive, puppylike men with arrogant cheekbones, potent-smelling soap, and tight shirts in particular.
“Um.” Kelsey frowned at her feet. She’d gotten the last chair wedged in and tied down, but she’d managed to trap herself inside the trailer along with it. Freaking brilliant. Today was a day for a spectacular lack of planning.
Gingerly, she swung one leg over the upturned table blocking her path. There were about four inches between it and the edge of the trailer. Theoretically, that was enough for a foot to land on. In practicality, it sure didn’t seem like it though.
Ian took a step forward and held up his arms. “Just go slowly.”
Did she look like she was about to leap over this thing? Ian was probably enjoying her doing something stupid after she’d lectured him about his lack of car preparedness.
Grabbing a table leg with one hand, Kelsey concentrated on lifting her own leg over the bulk of the furniture. The table wobbled, and so did her balance. She managed to set her second foot down on the trailer, and for a moment all seemed fine. Then the precarious position of her feet caught up to her, her center of gravity shifted, and Kelsey screamed as it seemed like crashing into her grandparents’ driveway was imminent.
Strong arms caught her, saving her face but not necessarily her sanity.
“Got you,” Ian said, as though it weren’t extremely obvious.
Heart pounding, Kelsey tightened her grip around Ian’s neck. Her nose was buried in his hair, which smelled even better up close, and holy shit. He felt solid and warm. She hadn’t missed having a guy’s arms wrapped around her, but she was going to now.
It was just the adrenaline from thinking she was about to fall. That was all.
But while that explained her heartbeat, it didn’t explain why the press of Ian’s hands felt so nice or the way her nerves tingled beneath them. If a pair of male hands touching her through two layers of fabric was turning her on, maybe Kevin had been right and she did need sex again.
Ian lowered her, and Kelsey jumped back as soon as her feet hit the pavement. As it was, there was no way she would be able to ignore all those Popsicle fantasies tonight. “Thanks.”
Ian adjusted his shirt and also took a step back. “Anytime.”
Was it her imagination, or was there something flirtatious in the way he said that? Some heat in his voice? “I don’t plan on making falling out of trucks a habit,” she said, mostly to remind herself that falling into Ian’s arms was a terrible idea.
“We can always skip that part next time.” Ian was smiling. Smugly.
There was also no way to interpret that as not being flirtatious, although Kelsey decided to pretend he simply liked getting the better of her. Still, she was too tongue-tied with surprise to think of a witty comeback, so she opted to glare and lock the back of the trailer. As soon as she thanked her grandparents and said goodbye, they could hit the road. But getting back into a confined space with Ian held even less—or was it more?—appeal than it had this morning. She swore whatever scent he had on him had rubbed off on her.
After they separated inside the house to use the bathrooms, Kelsey helped herself to a generous amount of hand soap, hoping to clear her nose of the remnants of eau d’Ian. It seemed to work, but the rose and hibiscus she replaced it with was cloying.
Her grandmom was emerging from the bedroom next door as Kelsey left the bathroom. It was probably inappropriate to have favorite grandparents, but her maternal set absolutely held that title, for reasons other than giving her furniture. They were both a little short, and had gotten a little softer and squishier as they aged, but they were as sweet on the inside as they looked on the outside. That kind of sweetness was in short supply in her life.
“I’ve started heating up lunch for you and your friend,” her grandmom said.
“He’s not really my friend.” She kept her voice low, although it seemed unlikely that Ian could hear her from the other side of the enormous house.
Her grandmom smiled knowingly. “I imagine not, but since you didn’t tell us you were bringing a boyfriend, I didn’t want to make assumptions. He’s very handsome.”
Kelsey could feel the blood rush to her cheeks, and she didn’t know why. It wasn’t her making an incorrect guess, yet it unsettled her for some reason.
Most likely it was all the Ian Popsicle thoughts.
“He’s not that either. I’m doing him a favor, so he’s doing me one. That’s all.”
“Are you sure? He’s very cute, and I saw how he was looking at you.”
Ian was looking at her? No, wait, of course he was looking at her. They’d been loading the trailer together. Kelsey pushed up the sleeves of her flannel, overly warm. “He was probably contemplating my demise.”
Her grandmom placed her hands on her hips. “I don’t have cataracts, you know. My eyesight is fine.”
“But how’s your ability to interpret what you see?” Kelsey tapped the older woman’s head. Grandmom Brown was the same height as she was, and unlike with Grandma Porter, Kelsey felt she could get away with that sort of joking.
Her grandmom tsked. “My mental faculties are fine, but I’m starting to wonder about yours. From what I understand, you reject every guy you come in contact with. Are you just not interested in romance or sex? I understand that can be a thing these days, and I want you to know I will support you every bit as much as I support Kevin.”
Kelsey rested her forehead against the wall, half laughing, half cringing, wholly contemplating crawling back into the bathroom and locking herself inside. But if she did, her grandmom would probably have this conversation with her through the door, and at that point, Ian was likely to overhear it.
“I’m pretty sure that’s always been a thing. It’s just not something that was always an option for people to choose. And no, that’s not me, exactly.” She simply hadn’t found a guy worth her time or the risk of getting emotionally involved. Fictional men were all she could tolerate.
“Well, what exactly is wrong with the one who came up here with you? He’s cute, he’s considerate. I’m sure he could do a fine job of keeping you warm at night.”
Kelsey was quite sure he could. Ian was big enough to wrap himself completely around her—and great, now she’d started thinking about what that might feel like. Those long arms. Those hard muscles. That damn scent.
How was this conversation happening to her? On the upside, Kelsey was finally looking forward to getting back into the car with Ian.
“I have dogs. They’re plenty warm in my bed, and they have the added benefit of not fighting me for the TV remote.” She lifted her head, choosing to believe her grandmom was simply concerned about her, and thus the fastest way to end this nightmare was to reassure her that she was fine. “I’m not lacking in company or affection. I’m happy.”
Grandmom Brown nodded somewhat fussily, although she didn’t look entirely appeased. “Dogs are fine company, but are you taking care of your other needs? A friend of mine’s niece has gotten into this business selling products that—”
“I’m good!” Kelsey held up a hand. “Really. And we need to get going.”
The older woman sighed. “Not without lunch you’re not. Come on, the calzones should be almost ready, and your friend looked awfully hungry earlier. If you’re not going to feed him what he really wants, then I should at least make sure he has food.”
“DO YOU WANT to stop for any errands while we’re in this bastion of civilization?” Kelsey asked, climbing into the SUV.
By some miracle, her grandmom had kept mostly quiet during lunch while her grandpop had grilled Ian about the brewery. Kelsey had no interest in beer, but that topic was infinitely preferable to her grandmom discussing relationships and sex. Ian had clearly enjoyed her grandpop too. So although Kelsey had no idea what the difference was between a stout and an ale, it had been interesting to watch Ian talk about brewing.
That he was knowledgeable about the subject was no surprise, given what he was doing, but it sounded like there was a lot more to it than throwing a bunch of grains in a vat. In fact, Ian made it sound a lot like chemistry, which did nothing to help Kelsey’s understanding or pique her interest, but her grandpop seemed to get it. She ought to let him interview Ian for the newspaper article she was supposed to write. Then she could concentrate on the topics she did understand, like Ian’s dimple, and imagine him lugging around heavy sacks of grain.
“No, I’m good,” Ian said as she pulled out of the driveway. “It’s been nice to get away from Helen. I haven’t taken a full day off from working on the brewery in weeks.”
“You’re a workaholic?” If Ian was always at the brewery, that would make sabotaging it more difficult.
As if she was actually ever going to do that. She wasn’t even fooling herself.
Ian made a sheepish face. “A bit. The rain doesn’t help those tendencies. There’s not much to do in Helen when it rains, so I might as well work.”
Plenty of people, like her brother, didn’t change their outdoor plans when it rained, but since Kelsey disliked rain herself, she shrugged. “I’m a hermit, so I don’t mind being trapped indoors. You should be aware that it doesn’t get much better in the winter. Even if the weather’s nice, a lot of the town shuts down. Winters are long and dark. I recommend getting some indoor hobbies if you don’t already have any.”
“I think you should know by now what I intend my winter hobby to be.”
The traffic light changed, forcing Kelsey to tear her gaze away from Ian’s face before she could discern what he meant by that. He was smiling, not smugly for once, but that was all she’d been able to tell. Something inside her lurched about as she tried to figure out if it was a flirtatious smile. Or if she wanted it to be.
She told herself she didn’t want it to be, but the heat she’d felt when Ian caught her tumbling from the trailer was back, and it told a different story. That was unacceptable. She wrote the stories; she was in control of the narrative. Her body shouldn’t be usurping her brain, and yet her imagination was off and running.
Kelsey knew she couldn’t let that comment of his go unremarked upon like she had the last possibly flirtatious comment. Yet it took her a couple of seconds to seize control of her mouth so she didn’t say something stupid. “I should?”
It was only two words, and not the most creative reply. But at least it gave away none of the uncalled-for emotions racing through her.
“Well, yeah. I did tell you I got my library card.”
“Ah.” She was grudgingly pleased that Ian was a reader, but she was less so about his current expression. Smug again. What did that mean? Had he been trying to mess with her head? Ugh, men. Kelsey decided the wisest course of action was to play the whole interaction straight. “That’s a good start.”
Ian stretched out in the passenger seat, inscrutable once again. “Honestly, I’m looking forward to a long, dark winter.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know—because it’s different?” He rubbed at his chin contemplatively. “It’s a new experience. An adventure. Those are the same reasons why I wanted to open the brewery in Helen.”
Right. He’d given her that same basic response to the questions she’d emailed him, and it didn’t make any more sense now than it had then. Kelsey had a hard time thinking of Helen as a particularly adventurous place. There were adventurous kinds of activities you could do in the area—hiking, kayaking, cross-country skiing. But the town itself was just a town. “You thought it would be a fun adventure? Going from warm and sunny to cold and dark was a lark for you?”
Ian paused. “Mainly.”
Kelsey would guess partially was more like it. There were clearly other reasons—there had to be—but if Ian didn’t want to discuss them with her, that was fine. She had plenty of topics she wouldn’t want to discuss either.
“I like winter,” Ian said after another moment. “I missed it while I was in Florida.”
“Why did you move there?”
“My bubbe is from there, and most of my family lives down there. My grandparents’ plan had always been to move back after my grandfather retired. I don’t think they expected to take me and my sister with, but . . .” Ian glanced out the window as though annoyed he’d said too much.
Unsure what part of that bothered him or why, Kelsey latched on to the one piece she clearly didn’t understand. “Your bubbe? Oh, shit!”
She slammed on the brake as a moose trotted out into the middle of the highway. Next to her, Ian gasped, but she didn’t glance his way this time. Her fingers tightened around the wheel, heart pounding in her ears, as she watched the other cars come to abrupt halts as well. When it became clear the guy behind her wasn’t about to rear-end her trailer, Kelsey let out a breath.
Predictably, the moose gave not one shit about the mayhem it had caused. It continued its merry way down the road.
“Um.” Ian sounded like he wanted to ask something but didn’t know what it should be.
Slowly, traffic began moving again, and Kelsey took her foot off the brake. “Like I said earlier, welcome to Alaska.”