13

“SORRY, MY DEARS.” Kelsey closed the gate at the top of her stairs, preventing the huskies from following her. “I promise, this won’t last long.”

It wouldn’t for Juliet anyway, whom she planned to bring down once Ian was ready. Kelsey figured not springing a dog on him the moment he walked through her door was wisest. Still, she didn’t think Romeo or Puck would be trapped upstairs for too long either. She’d done a bit of research into exposure therapy, and she figured she should limit the amount of time Ian spent near Juliet. Slow and steady was the way to go. If she kept Juliet in the kitchen, Ian might not even cross the threshold between it and the living room, and that was okay if it was as close as he felt comfortable with.

Then Ian would leave. In all, the entire session might take only ten minutes.

She would not be disappointed about that.

Kelsey sighed. It wasn’t like she even knew for sure whether Ian was interested in her, or for that matter whether he was okay with casual sex. Because that was all there could be, and even that left her second-guessing this harebrained idea. She didn’t know what would be worse—Ian rejecting her outright, or Ian expecting more from her. If she contemplated these scenarios for too long, she’d lose her nerve altogether.

“And would that be so terrible?” Kelsey straightened the throw cushions on her sofa. She’d already gone through a whole list of reasons why kissing Ian would be bad, starting with him knowing her secret and ending with the possibility that he might not enjoy the experience. And what would happen to her then? She’d spent years rebuilding her self-esteem. Best not to risk anything.

At least her house was looking better. She’d painted the downstairs on Sunday, which was probably something she should have done before picking up her grandparents’ furniture, but better late than never. The walls needed another coat, but with the addition of the tables and chairs, she no longer looked like she was living in an abandoned building. There was no reason to be embarrassed in front of company.

A knock at the door interrupted her brief moment of satisfaction and brought her emotional disarray back with force. Since there was nothing to do about that, Kelsey lifted her chin and welcomed Ian inside as though all was perfectly normal. After all, she was used to faking her way through life. Surely she could fake being indifferent to this man.

“It’s looking good,” Ian said, checking out the walls, and Kelsey couldn’t help but notice he’d looked around the floor first, presumably for her dogs.

She stifled a laugh. “It’s looking better. Don’t worry. I’m not going to sic a dog on you if you’re not overly effusive about my paint choices.”

Ian winced and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think I was being effusive. Never mind overly effusive.”

No, he was right. He hadn’t been, but her defense mechanisms were kicking in. Being attracted to him made life difficult, and snark was her comfort setting. Trading barbs with Ian was the safest thing she could do for herself, but it wasn’t fair to him. Especially when he was putting himself in her hands regarding the dogs (but alas, not literally).

“Sorry,” Kelsey said. “I seem to default to sarcasm around you still.”

Ian seemed surprised by her apology, as he should be, even if he didn’t know her well enough to know why. If Josh were around, her cousin would have feigned fainting. “That’s probably my fault. I’m the one who went on the offensive first.”

“That’s a matter of perspective. I was already inclined to dislike you before we met because of the whole outsider thing.”

“True—and if I’d known that, I might have slammed a door in your face intentionally.”

Kelsey shook her head, snark dissolving with her smile. It might be her comfort setting, but it was no longer her default around him, no matter what she claimed. “No, you wouldn’t have.”

Ian laughed, and some of the tension went out of his shoulders. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have.”

“You’re too nice.”

“I’m not entirely sure that’s the reason.”

There it was again—the change in intensity of his gaze, the knowing lilt of his lips, and something more. Kelsey could have sworn the air between them took on a charge, like a storm was gathering, and it was disrupting her brain.

Disruptive—that was the new word she should have chosen for Ian. He wasn’t just distracting; he was disrupting.

It was time to move on before she continued smiling for no good reason.

“Before we do this . . .” And by this she meant bring the dog out, but since she didn’t say that, all Kelsey could do was rush on and think about how her words might be misinterpreted. “Um, do you want something to drink? To help with anxiety, I mean? I have this bottle of whiskey someone gave me. I don’t drink unless it’s the sort of thing that comes with a paper umbrella, but my brothers think it’s good, and I thought it might help you to self-medicate.”

“Thanks, but I’m good.” Ian’s hands visibly twitched in his pockets, suggesting that wasn’t entirely true. “I had a beer with dinner. It was a stressful day—no dogs required for that.”

“Everything okay?” Why was she asking? Kelsey told her feet to march upstairs and get Juliet, but they remained in place.

Ian’s face spoke the answer before he could get out the words. “It’s the town, or the SHS, to be more specific. They’re petitioning to have the local alcohol laws changed to make our lives more difficult.”

They could do that? She’d take Ian’s word for it. It was nasty and underhanded and entirely aboveboard—the kind of move she could appreciate if it wasn’t aimed at someone she liked.

Liked. Kelsey cringed. It was one thing to admit to herself that she was attracted to Ian. Liking him was another story. At best, she was willing to acknowledge that she didn’t dislike him. It was damn hard to dislike a puppy.

“I’m sorry,” she said, hoping that explained the cringe.

Ian crossed his arms. “Really? The fact that the Lipins are behind it aside, isn’t this what you want? To drive us out of town?”

He wasn’t entirely wrong, but Ian had turned her into a contradictory mess. Kelsey flailed about for a way to explain her complicated feelings. One that didn’t involve admitting that she wanted to jump his bones or that she was simultaneously worried that if she pissed him off, he’d spill her darkest secret. “Yes, but not really. I mean, it’s not personal, as I’ve said. And anyway, it’s not like your business is a chain store, so you could be higher on my shit list.”

“Ah, thanks. I was worried for a second when you weren’t being snarky.”

In spite of her determination to do anything but smile, Kelsey laughed. “That worried you?”

“Well, I was getting used to it.” He leaned against the half wall that separated her kitchen and living room. “You’re funny, so I guess I might even have started liking it.”

Funny was so not what she was aiming for when she turned her snark on people, and normally, Kelsey would have been offended by the suggestion. This was just one more example of men not taking her seriously. Except with Ian, that wasn’t the case. She didn’t want to truly cut him down, so she hadn’t been aiming for cruel. Perhaps, subconsciously, she had been aiming for funny, or its proximity.

Heat rose up Kelsey’s neck. “I usually have the opposite effect on people.”

Ian rubbed his chin. “Maybe your tricks don’t work on us outsiders, and that’s the real reason you don’t like us.”

“My tricks?”

“You know, pretending to be unlikable so people will leave you alone?”

Kelsey opened her mouth to protest, but her words failed. Damn him. Somehow Ian had figured her out too well. It was terrifying and fascinating, and she wasn’t only feeling flushed anymore. Her pulse was pounding in her ears, and her head was swimming. She wanted to kiss him more than ever, but her mouth had gone dry.

She glanced around for something to fiddle with and came up empty. “You don’t think I’m unlikable?”

That had to have sounded weird. Worse, she was certain it sounded hopeful. As if she wanted Ian to like her.

But she didn’t.

Although she wouldn’t have minded him pressing her against the nearest wall and smashing his mouth against hers. He didn’t have to like her for that.

These emotions must have been flashing over her face, because Ian took a step away from the wall, bringing him a hair’s breadth closer to her. The puppiness had left him again. He was 100 percent man, but with the kind of hungry look on his face that was pure animal instinct. She doubted he had any idea of it, but her body had become very aware, and her mouth was no longer dry.

“I did think you were unlikable at first,” Ian said with a small shrug. “But I’ve changed my mind since. I now think you’re an acquired taste, like beer. Lots of people don’t like beer at first, but if you keep sipping, you develop an appreciation for it.”

Kelsey had no idea if that was true, but truth was irrelevant. She watched Ian’s lips as he spoke, and they were the only thing she could concentrate on. “I’d like to point out that you’ve never actually tasted me.”

Those mesmerizing lips twitched. “We could fix that.”

Fix what? Oh wait, she’d said the tasting thing out loud. Her heart, which had already been pounding hard, increased its speed. This was clearly a sign that she should run upstairs and get a dog—any dog—because her brain and her body weren’t coordinating their actions, and who knew what she’d do next if left to her own devices?

Kelsey swallowed. Take a step back, she told herself.

She took a step forward. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Ian also took a step forward. “Why not?”

Why not? She had an answer to that question, but it was seeming less relevant with every breath.

Did she really want to do this? Would she ever have a more exhilarating opportunity? What if it was a disaster? What if it wasn’t?

“Kelsey?” Ian’s hand had touched her cheek without her having any idea how he had gotten that close, but now that she was aware, she was very aware. The heat of his body seeped into hers. The scent of him filled her head. She could see every hair, every bit of stubble on his chin, and she wanted to rub her cheek against it and feel that stubble scratching the skin on her face. The skin in other places too. Then she wanted to climb him like he was a freaking mountain. Suddenly, she appreciated tall men in a way she never had before.

And she loved the way he said her name. Her friends, her close family—everyone called her Kels. Hearing her full name from Ian’s lips made it somehow more sensual.

Or maybe that was just his voice. She’d never thought about it before, but Ian had a nice voice. Deep but not too deep, and rich like honey.

“Yes.” She closed her eyes, and fear shot through her, a cold spike of iron that should have shattered her ability to continue. Anxiety, embarrassment—all the old emotions she’d spent years working her way through returned in a dizzying second of panic.

But they vanished as quickly as they’d come, because Ian was kissing her, and oh my God. Anxiety had no room in her emotional repertoire. Anxiety required repetitive thoughts and dwelling on old memories, and she was no longer capable of thinking coherently enough for either. Explosive lust completely drowned out everything but sensation and need.

Ian must have felt the same way. His kiss was not gentle and questioning like his hand had been. She’d welcomed his touch, given him the okay, and he was taking it, stealing her breath like he was afraid she’d rescind the invitation.

His mouth was hot, devouring hers, coaxing noises out of her throat that she wasn’t sure she’d ever made before. Unbidden, her arms reached up, and she wrapped them around his neck and dug her nails into the patch of skin above his collar as her fingers and toes curled with pleasure. Ian slid his arms around her, cupped her ass, and together they slammed backward until she hit the wall behind her. He tried to pause for a second, possibly to ask if she was okay, and Kelsey didn’t let him. She stretched for him again and ran her tongue over his lips and the prickly stubble on his chin. Ian groaned until he reclaimed her mouth. That was good. She didn’t want to stop. If she stopped, those pesky thoughts might have space to breathe and unwanted emotions might return. She wanted to do this—she would do this—and for that to happen, she needed to keep kissing Ian, keep touching him. She’d never found a way to shut her brain off like this before.

Then Ian abruptly stopped, leaving her panting against the wall. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

He didn’t take his hands off her, but he closed his eyes as though pulling himself together. “I don’t know.”

He wasn’t changing his mind on her now, was he? “Ian!” She didn’t care that she sounded desperate. She was desperate.

He looked up at her sharply. “Is this what you want?”

“No, this is not what I want. What I want is for you to get back to kissing me. Then for you to push me against this wall and do unspeakable things until we both come to our senses.”

He wet his lips and stared at her, giving Kelsey a terrible second to believe she was the only one who wanted those things, despite what the bulge in his pants suggested. But she must have only shocked him, because the second passed, and Ian’s mouth crashed back into hers. His tongue tormented hers, slick and demanding. His hands squeezed her backside, pressing her into his body. Pressing his erection into her abdomen and turning the ache between her legs into an unbearable throbbing.

She wasn’t used to this. With Anthony, she’d needed tons of foreplay to get this aroused, and even then, she’d never been able to quiet her brain. With Ian, the past ten days felt like all the foreplay she needed. She was ready, painfully so, for the main event.

So why not do something about that? She didn’t wait for a man to take charge any other time.

Kelsey unclenched her hands from Ian’s sweatshirt and undid the button on his jeans. For her brazenness, she was rewarded with a most delicious moan and a sharp intake of his breath. Ian stopped kissing her, which was unfortunate, but she could see it was because he was fighting for control.

She liked that. She liked it a lot. The strain on his face might even be more arousing than kissing him.

Deciding where to focus her eyes was impossible, and Kelsey’s gaze switched back and forth between Ian’s face and his jeans as she unzipped them. His abdominal muscles twitched next to her hands. She took a moment to focus just on them—strong and lean—like she knew they’d be from his photos. A line of sandy blond hair disappeared into the waist of his boxer briefs. She traced a finger down it—soft skin, hard muscles, a veritable silk road of goodness until she slipped her hand beneath the elastic and wrapped her fingers around the prize.

Ian closed his eyes, and fell forward, bracing himself on the wall behind her. “Fuck.”

It occurred to Kelsey that she’d never heard him swear before, and she liked that a lot too. She had half a mind to point it out, but that could lead to more talking, and she didn’t want to talk. Instead she wet her lips in anticipation of all those fantasies she had of licking Ian becoming reality.

“Don’t do that.” He practically growled out the words.

She had no time to ask What? because Ian cupped her face with his free hand and kissed her again, impossibly harder than the last time. She squirmed in his grasp, unwilling to let go of his cock, and the harder she involuntarily squeezed him, the rougher his mouth was. And shit, she liked that too.

Ian released her mouth all at once, leaving her gasping for breath and too distracted to do anything else. It was a moment of weakness. He’d kissed the control right out of her and she could barely stand. While Kelsey tried to recover, Ian’s hands tugged on her shirt, and reluctantly she let go of him so he could pull it over her head.

Her skin was cool without the extra layer, but she flushed anyway. Ian’s eyes were bright, assessing her, and she tried to meet his gaze, but he was no longer looking at her face. His fingers looped around her bra straps, draping them over her shoulders. Her breasts were nothing special. They were as tiny as the rest of her, but under Ian’s attentiveness, they felt swollen as he peeled her bra’s fabric lower. His fingertips brushed her skin, hardening her already tender nipples, and Kelsey gave in and closed her eyes as pleasure shot straight down to her groin. She was barely aware that Ian was sliding her bra off. All her effort was focused on her breathing.

“You are so beautiful.” His voice was thick. “These are so beautiful.”

Kelsey whimpered as Ian’s thumbs flicked over her nipples. “Stop torturing me.”

“Revenge.” The thumbs stopped, replaced by his tongue, and the comment on her lips dissolved with the rest of her.

“Oh my God.” Kelsey grabbed him about the shoulders and tangled one hand through his hair to stay upright as slick heat circled her right breast. He sucked and nipped at her, one side and the other, until her knees wobbled. “Ian, please.”

He paused, and that wasn’t what she wanted either. “Please what?”

“Fuck me.” She was begging. What the hell had gotten into her? The day Kelsey Porter asked anything of a man, never mind begged one, should have been a shameful day. But this didn’t feel shameful at all. Not when Ian knelt in front of her, lips wet, eyes darkened with lust, his pants hanging open and revealing an enormous bulge in his underwear. One that made her body ache with need. No, this was perfection.

“I thought that’s what I was doing.” He smiled slyly.

She pulled more tightly on his hair for his audacity. “Get inside me.”

“Okay.” There was mischief on his face that she didn’t have time to contemplate except to acknowledge that it looked good on him. Then Ian yanked down the leggings she’d been wearing, taking her panties with them.

But rather than stand and remove the rest of his own clothing, he pressed his face against her stomach. The stubble, the scratchy hair she’d longed to have rubbed all over her, now did as he kissed his way from her belly button down. She wanted to protest. This wasn’t what she’d meant, and he damn well knew it. But she had no words. The noises coming out of her mouth as his lips brushed the patch of hair between her legs were nothing short of animal-like. Ian’s fingers pushed her thighs wider, and she spread her legs because resisting was impossible. His tongue split her folds in two, and oh my God.

Time had helped her forget how good this was. She’d been with Anthony for almost two years, and he’d only ever gone down on her twice, because he hadn’t liked doing it. Yet here was Ian on his knees for her. Ian, who’d just decided he wanted to do this with no prompting. His hot breath tickling her sensitive flesh. His tongue, wet and persistent. And his lips, homing in on her clit, circling and sucking. She was going to collapse against the wall.

She did when he slipped his first finger inside her. Kelsey tried to hold out, to prolong the release as long as possible, but she couldn’t take it anymore. A cry that probably startled her poor dogs tore from her throat, but she couldn’t think about that either as her body shook and her breath gave way.

Ian nursed her down gently, slowing his tongue, releasing the pressure on her clit as the orgasm subsided. Once all that was left was his breath against her tender skin, a sensation as strangely erotic as his tongue had been, she managed to catch her own wind.

“Holy shit.” It was the only thing she could say, so Kelsey repeated it as Ian more or less held her upright and stood himself.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

She narrowed her eyes, wanting to respond with something snarky, but Ian’s face was as flushed as her own, and his eyes continued to rake over her body like she was his to consume. And oh, that bulge in his boxer briefs remained.

Snark could wait. She’d rather be consumed.

Kelsey reached for him again, temporarily sane enough to register how big he felt in her hand, and she silently said a word of thanks to Mr. Happy for keeping her company. Otherwise she suspected this might be initially less than pleasant.

“I did enjoy it.” She licked her lips. “But you still haven’t had your way with me against the wall.”