The Herpe
I’m taking my usual morning piss in my hotel bathroom, and when I jiggle my dick to get the last droplet of piss off, I notice a red mark on my shaft. I know what an ingrown pubic hair looks like, and this is definitely not that. It’s too high up on my shaft even to be a hair at all. I immediately think that Holly gave me herpes when I fucked her without a rubber at the wedding.
I get slightly nauseated at the idea of having to tell any future sexual partners that I have herpes. I imagine the conversation I’d have to have with Alyna if we were to patch things up. I can’t decide if it would be a deal-breaker for her or if she’d be happy because it would give her a legitimate medical reason not to have to fuck me.
I make an appointment with my doctor for lunch and spend the rest of the morning looking up pictures of herpes outbreaks on the Internet. Every image I come across is far worse than the thing on my dick, but I assume the images online are the worst-case scenario. I look at dozens of dicks and pussies that are covered in red blisters so thick you can’t see the normal skin tone anywhere around the genital region. Despite all of my efforts I can’t find any images of what an initial outbreak looks like, what to expect when you detect the first blister.
By the time I get to my doctor’s office, I’m convinced that the spot on my dick is just the first in what is about to be a wave of hundreds of open lesions on my cock. He says, “So what’s the problem?”
I say, “I noticed something on my penis this morning.”
I expect him to recoil or to be disgusted in some way, but that’s not the case. Without any visible reaction to me basically telling him he’s about to have to look directly at another man’s penis—and that the penis in question will have something on it that could potentially be the result of an STD—he says, “Okay, let’s see it.”
I pull down my pants and stand in front of him. He puts on some rubber gloves, then wheels a little stool over and sits on it as he leans in and gets a good look at what’s on my dick. I look down to see a guy basically fondling my genitals but I’m too horrified of hearing him say, “Well, you’ve got herpes,” to really think about how gay this seems.
After maybe ten or fifteen seconds he wheels his chair back, peels off the rubber gloves, and tosses them in the trash can. I’m still standing there with my cock out, lifting up my shirt like a little kid. He says, “You can pull your pants up.” I do.
He says, “The good news is, you don’t have an STD.”
I say, “Jesus Christ. Seriously? That’s not herpes?”
He says, “No.”
I say, “Well, what’s the bad news?”
He says, “There is no bad news.”
I say, “Then why’d you say, ‘The good news is’?”
He says, “Because I thought it was good news.”
I say, “That phrase kind of implies that there’s also bad news.”
He says, “Oh. Sorry. No bad news.”
I say, “Well, then, what is it?”
He says, “It’s just a regular, tiny abrasion. You might want to, uh, take it down a notch on the frequency or the, uh, enthusiasm level when you masturbate.”
I say, “You really think I did this to myself? I would have noticed that, I think.”
He says, “Well, maybe it wasn’t you. Maybe the wife was a little too worked up. Maybe a tooth got involved in a certain process, if you get my meaning.”
And I think back to the last blowjob Holly gave me. She took my cock so far down her throat that she gagged, and I remember one of her back teeth digging into my cock a little too hard. It didn’t stop me from throat-fucking her, but I’ll bet that’s what it was. I say, “I think I actually know exactly when it happened. Sorry for wasting your time.”
He says, “No problem. Better safe than sorry with things like this. It’s always good to have peace of mind. You might just want to put some Neosporin on it or something. But you should be fine.”
On my way back to work, I remember back to a time when Alyna and I first started dating. I think she would have been capable of giving me a blowjob wound like this. I wonder if Holly will ever get tired of sucking dick. If she does, I wonder if I’ll still know her when that happens. I hope not.