The sound of the guys’ whispered argument wakes me from a deep sleep. My arm throbs, my body burns, and my head might literally explode. I thought the caffeine withdrawal and lack of sleep headache was bad. It may as well have been a puddle next to a sea in comparison to this one.
“Marak, you need to relax and rest. We don’t need to be talking about this shit right now.” Maverick’s tone is full of authority.
“I cracked a few ribs and broke my leg, Mav. I didn’t die,” Marak huffs, and I picture the pout he’s sure to have.
Syn intervenes, “Maverick is right. You need to relax. You’re not dead, but you nearly died. You and Taylor both got really fucking lucky.”
“How’s she doing?” Marak asks after a beat of silence.
“She has yet to wake up, but the doctors ran every test Syn demanded, and she’s fine physically,” Allistar tells him. “Her arm is completely fucked up. It’ll take a long time to heal, and she got some stitches in her forehead. The fucker pulled her through the broken windshield of the truck, and she got some pretty deep lacerations from that. They had to stitch several different areas. Other than that, she’s got bumps and bruises all over like you.”
“What about mentally?” Marak asks quietly. “You and Syn saw her in the few minutes she was awake at the scene. How did she seem?”
“She was in shock,” Syn admits. “She was just in a bad wreck, nearly kidnapped again, and saw a man with half of his head blown off. It’s understandable she freaked out. We won’t know if she’s okay until she wakes up, though.”
“She’s strong and stubborn as hell,” Maverick says. “She’ll be okay.” It almost sounds like he’s trying to convince himself as much as the rest of them.
Marak sighs loudly then clears his throat and groans in pain. “Fuck, breathing hurts.”
If I had the ability to jump up and go to him, I would, but my eyes won’t even cooperate enough to stay open. I manage to get a quick look around the hospital room. A small curtain separates Marak’s side of the room from mine. The curtain has been pulled halfway closed, but I can still see Maverick, Allistar, and Syn’s backs as they stand next to Marak’s hospital bed.
“I made my decision, guys. While we were being followed.” Marak breaks the momentary silence. “Really, I think I knew before that, but this crazy shit solidified everything for me. I know what I want.”
“I made my choice, too,” Syn says quietly. “I told these two right before you called, actually.”
Allistar sighs long and loud. “I thought I lost my brother, and it almost killed me. What I felt when I thought Taylor wasn’t going to wake up made a lot of things crystal clear. I promised myself I’d tell you guys I made up my mind as soon as we could see you again.”
“We need to talk about this later. This is not the time nor place.” Maverick’s word is final, and the conversation ceases.
They’re done with me. It has to be what they want to talk about. Three of the four just admitted they made a decision, and they sounded worried about their brothers’ reactions to those choices. The only explanation is they don’t want to keep me around, and they hope all of them are on the same page and want me out.
It makes sense. They don’t need to babysit me anymore. The threat is gone.
My body stiffens when my mind flashes back to the man who tried to take me again. I’d only blacked out long enough for him to drag me through the windshield of Marak’s truck.
“You’re coming home where you belong, Pet.” His voice in my ear broke me. The same voice that called me on my cell phone and threatened me. He called me Pet. It was him; it had to be him. I blacked out again before he got me all the way out of Marak’s truck. A loud bang and some kind of impact jostled me awake a second time.
The fall hurt like hell, but as soon as I opened my eyes, my pain faded to the background. Never in my life have I witnessed anything as horrible. I vaguely remember someone grabbing me, but they let me go when I screamed. After that, everything became a fuzzy blur until now.
Dr. Lenny strolls into the room and smiles wide at me when I’m able to crack my eyes open. “Hello again, Taylor.”
At the sound of her voice, the guys all turn around and hurry to my side of the room.
Marak tries to scoot up, but the movement must cause him too much pain. He winces and stops his attempts. “How are you feeling?”
My attention turns to Dr. Lenny even though Marak asked the question. “Everything hurts.”
Her eyes turn sympathetic. “I know, honey. Call me Trish, please. You’re due for more pain meds in about half an hour. Can you hold out that long?”
I nod. The pain in my body doesn’t hold a candle to the pain in my chest at what I know will happen soon. They’re going to talk tonight and figure out a nice way to kick me out of their place and their lives. It was stupid to hope I could keep them all as mine. The idea of them ever considering it is laughable. They don’t want one girl who can’t choose between them.
“Guys, I need to take Taylor for one more ultrasound just to rule out any internal bleeding in the abdomen, and as long as that’s clear, you two will be free to rest.”
“Hurry back with her,” Syn mutters with a frown.
Maverick’s eyes meet mine. “We’ll be right here when you get back. Grumpy, Michelle, and Evelyn are on their way here. They all booked the soonest flights possible when we called them.” I can’t reply to him; instead, I turn away and bite my tongue to hold back the tears. Even my sisters and Grumpy won’t make everything better this time.
The guys move back to Marak’s side of the room, but each touch me in some way before they go. Their touch hurts more because I know it’ll probably be the last touch I get from them. Dr. Lenny—Trish—wheels my bed out down a few hallways until she reaches an ultrasound room. She locks the brakes on the bed and drops into the stool beside the ultrasound machine.
“Taylor, I need to ask you something.” My stomach drops. The seriousness in her tone doesn’t sit well with me. “When was your last period?”
I open my mouth to answer her, but snap it shut again. The birth control shot has always been my go-to because I don’t have to remember to take it daily. “I can’t remember. I’d been due for the shot a day or two before I had to move in with the guys. I went and got it like always, and they said I was good for twelve weeks. It hasn’t been twelve weeks, but I can’t remember when I had a period last.”
Trish sighs and taps a few buttons on the keyboard. “I’m not sure how you’re going to take this, honey, but I have to tell you. You’re pregnant.”
I wait for the punchline to the joke. Maybe it’s April first, and I forgot. Only, it’s far from April, and Trish is as serious as a heart attack. “No, I got the shot. I can’t be pregnant. The shot prevents that.”
She pats my hand gently. “There was a massive recall on a specific brand of birth control shots. They were deemed ineffective. It was very recent, but I’d be willing to bet yours was one in the recall. In other words, the shot failed.”
“No.” It’s the only word I can manage to get out. I repeat myself over and over, but it doesn’t change the news.
Trish doesn’t miss a beat when I burst into tears. She pulls out a few tissues from a box nearby and gives me a gentle hug. “It’ll be okay, honey. You’re a strong woman, you’ll be okay. Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head. She’ll probably want to know who the father is, but I can’t answer that. I’ll be a single mother without a clue who the father of my baby is. My baby. This may be how my mother felt when she found out about me. Maybe she couldn’t handle the news of being responsible for another person’s life and decided to say screw it.
A protective instinct rises in me, and my good hand flutters to my belly. No matter what happens, this baby didn’t ask to be made, but I’m going to make sure he or she knows their mommy loves them with everything in me. I’ll be a single mother like my mother was, but I will never abandon my baby like she abandoned me. I’ll make it work, for my baby, because my little one deserves the best and more.
With tear-filled eyes, I turn to Trish who silently lets me fall apart for a few minutes. “The crash, did it... Is the baby okay?”
She nods, and smiles wide. “The initial ultrasound revealed a strong heartbeat. I’ll admit, it shocked me to find a baby in there.”
“Can I see, Trish?” I whisper. “I mean, I know you already looked and all. It’s just—”
“I brought you here to show you, honey.” She pats my hand again and turns the machine on. “I’m going to do a thorough ultrasound and make sure everything looks good. Hopefully, we can get you an accurate due date as well.”
She asks me to pull my gown away from my stomach then squirts warm jelly on my lower belly. She rolls the little wand around for a second then presses a button, and the picture pops up on a flat screen television in front of me. It helps because I don’t need to turn at an odd angle to see the screen in front of her.
She rolls the wand again and presses another button, and the whooshing of a tiny, quick heartbeat fills the room. More tears flow, this time in awe. I locate the small flicker going in time with the whooshing beat. Trish points it out as the heart. The baby is still tiny, like a little jumping bean on the screen.
She takes measurements, records the heartbeat, prints out several pictures, and takes dozens more. Finally, she pulls the wand away from my stomach and hands me a towel to wipe the goop away. “You’re still in your first trimester, only about ten weeks along. Everything looks fantastic, though. Baby is doing great. All you need to do right now is not drink, smoke, do drugs, or eat raw fish. Okay, to be honest, there’s other things to know, so I’d suggest getting in to see your OB-GYN as soon as possible. If you need a recommendation, I know someone.”
“Who?” I examine my tiny jumping bean on the pictures.
She huffs, “Me. I only come into the ER to treat Marak and the guys, and now you. I started out in the emergency department long ago, but my specialty is OB. I love babies.”
“Okay, I would like that, actually. At least, I already know you.” I swallow hard and pry my eyes from my little baby button to Trish. “But I don’t want any of the guys knowing about the baby.”
Her eyes widen for a second in surprise, but she catches herself. “It’s all confidential, Taylor. I cannot and would not tell anyone anything about you without permission. No matter who it is.”
“Thank you,” I murmur. I clutch the pictures close to my chest and wish like crazy things were different for me and my baby.
“You two are free to go!” Trish made us stay a few nights for observation.
I faked sleep for most of it to prevent the guys from talking to me. The simple sound of their voices breaks my heart in half. They’re not interested in a relationship with me of any kind, and I need to accept it. I won’t tell them about the baby for a while. They’re sure to be pissed at each other and me. I refuse to allow them to be angry at my little jumping bean. I’ll protect him or her with everything in me.
Grumpy, Michelle, and Evelyn all hopped on the first available flights to be with me. Grumpy made it to me first, cursing and hollering about how I wasn’t supposed to get hurt and that I’m grounded forever. To have him back made things a little better. He stayed with me the whole time, and the guys stayed with Marak at my insistence. Trish came in quite a few times to chat with Grumpy, and every time she spoke to him, his cheeks turned red. Part of me wants to ask about it, but I can’t muster up the energy.
The curtain was kept pulled back, the room open, but I know they didn’t hang around the hospital for me. They needed to focus on Marak.
While Syn fills prescriptions for pain medications, Allistar helps Marak into a wheelchair and down to the car, while Maverick pulls the car around. I take the quick moment alone to talk to Grumpy.
“I know they asked if you’d drive me back to their place,” I say to Grumpy, then stop to bite back a sob. “But I need you to stay outside in the car when we get there. I’m going to grab my stuff. I just want to get it all and go.”
“What in tha good goddamn ya need ta do ‘at fer?” Grumpy growls. He turns his menacing glare toward the empty doorway the guys walked through moments ago. “Did ‘em boys do sumthin’ ta hurt ya, Tayter-Tot? I’d be more’n happy ta kick their asses fer ya.”
“No.” I shake my head and smile fondly. I missed him so much. “It’s fine, Grumpy. I just need to go. I’ve overstayed my welcome already. They should get their house back sooner rather than later.”
He studies me for a second, but when we hear Allistar and Syn’s chatter in the hall, he harrumphs. “I don’t believe ya fer even a second, but I won’t bury ‘em just yet. I’ll wait outside with the getaway car. Just don’t try ta go hood slidin’ like Bo Duke. You’ll mess up ma paint with ‘at big ol’ thing on yer arm.”
Allistar and Syn walk into the room with the empty wheelchair before I can respond. “Your chariot awaits, miss.” Syn goes for a British accent, and it falls flat. He rolls his eyes as Allistar laughs and Grumpy snorts. “Whatever, the wheelchair is here. Hop on.”
I do as he asks, silent the whole way down to the car. Grumpy pulls up and helps me into the passenger seat. He doesn’t say a word on the way back to the guys’ house. He knows I need time to myself.
The second Grumpy pulls up, my door swings open, and Maverick picks me up. He carries me into the house and up to what used to be my room. He leans forward and kisses my forehead softly. It takes every ounce of control in me to not break down. “I’m going to grab you something to eat. Wait here and rest, okay?”
I nod with no intention of listening to him. He turns and leaves the room, and the second he’s out of sight, I hop up and grab the duffle bag Syn packed on my first night here. I fill it with the essentials but leave behind anything I don’t need right away. Grumpy might get my things for me another day if the guys will let him. If not, I don’t really care. They’re only things. To leave the four men I love behind is what might kill me.
My intention was to rush down the stairs, but it’s more like a slow shuffle. My body aches, and my only good arm keeps hold of my duffle bag. I make it to the door before anyone notices me.
When I’m sure I’ll get out unnoticed, Allistar calls my name, and I hesitate. I spin around to find him at the other end of the room with a deep frown. The other three guys join him. They likely heard him call my name.
Marak’s eyes dart from mine to the duffle bag on my arm. He shifts awkwardly with his crutches. “Where are you going?”
“Thank you, all of you,” I choke out, desperate to hold onto my dignity and my emotions. Still, a few tears escape, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. “You guys saved my life more than once, and I’ll always be grateful for that. You all mean more to me than you’ll ever know. Or maybe you do know, and that’s why this is inevitable. Either way, you don’t have to make any decisions or have any talks now. You’re free.”
With that, I turn on my heel and hurry to the car where Grumpy waits. He takes off the second I close my door. The problem is, I left my heart behind.