Six days without any contact with my guys. No, not my guys. They’re not mine, and I need to remind myself over and over. My heart shatters every time I think about them. The way Syn makes everything funny. Allistar always taking care of me and his incredible ability to stay in tune with me and the others. Marak with his dirty jokes and dorky antics. Maverick’s possessiveness and protectiveness, taking charge in every situation.
Tears I was sure I couldn’t shed run down my cheeks. Over the last week, there’s a good chance the number of tears I’ve shed has dehydrated me. Food isn’t even on my radar—my stomach turns whenever I even consider it. At first, I thought it was because of my emotional breakdown.
If I hadn’t gone to my appointment with Trish, I’d be worried about my little baby getting enough nutrition. She explained it was likely morning sickness. She said to eat what I can when I can, but if it became an issue, she’d prescribe medication to help. She put me on vitamins and reminded me to limit my caffeine and increase my water intake.
Normally, if someone told me to cut out my caffeine it would be a big problem. My precious Diet Coke would never be given up. Except lately, I could care less about most anything, especially soda. The only thing keeping me going is my little jumping bean who needs me. Which also makes it easier to give up the Diet Coke.
Grumpy brought me some in hopes it would lift my spirits. It didn’t work, but I love him for the effort. He doesn’t know why I shouldn’t drink the soda, no one does. He hasn’t bothered me or asked why I can barely leave my old room at his place. He was shocked when I didn’t put up a fight about coming home with him. It didn’t take him long to find out about the state of the apartment. Still, he expected me to find a new place in the first twenty-four hours because that’s the way I normally would do things. I may not see him much right now, but to know he’s in the other room helps a tiny bit.
A harsh knock on my bedroom door startles me from my current cry fest. The door swings open before I can manage to sit up in bed. Evelyn, Grumpy, and Michelle storm into the room without an invite. The girls have their arms loaded with junk food, soda, and chocolate. They hop onto my bed and drop the food between us.
“What are you guys doing?” I ask with a sniffle.
“Tryin’ ta figure out why in tha hell yer hauled up in yer room like yer in mournin’ or somethin’.” Grumpy harrumphs into the desk chair. “Yer gonna tell us what’s’a matter with ya ‘n yer gonna do it right damn now.”
“I’m fine.” I wipe a stray tear away.
Evelyn rolls her eyes and scoffs, “Bitch, please. You’re far from fine. You only ever say you’re fine when something bad is going on. We need to know what’s up, and we need to know it now.”
“We’re worried.” Michelle frowns, her hands idly rub her growing belly. The gesture makes my chest tighten. That’ll be me in a few months’ time. “You barely said hello to us when we got back. You won’t call us back or text us. We love you, Taylor. We want to help you if we can, but to do that we need to know what’s wrong.”
Since I left the guys, I’ve been bouncing back and forth on whether to tell the girls and Grumpy everything. Well, not every dirty detail, but the big points. At first, I was afraid they’d be upset with me for my devil-may-care attitude. Then, I wondered if they might get pissed because I lied about the real danger I was in while they were gone. In the end, I knew I was only trying to convince myself I shouldn’t open up to my family.
Realistically, I know they’d never judge me for anything. They may be shocked and confused, but they’d still love and support me. My baby needs to stay a secret for now, though. As badly as I want to tell them about the pregnancy, I can’t bring myself to do it when the guys don’t even know that one of them is going to be a father.
“Talk to us, Taylor.” Evelyn softens and rubs my arm gently. It isn’t often Evelyn gets sensitive and serious. She’s as concerned as Grumpy and Michelle. Guilt sets in for putting them through such worry.
“I fell in love.” Saying the words out loud lighten the tension in my shoulders a bit.
Michelle shakes her head slowly when I don’t continue. “I don’t follow. You’re upset because you fell in love with someone? Do they not love you back? Did they hurt you or something?”
“It was ‘at smurf boy, won’t it? He broke ma Tayter-Tot’s heart?” Grumpy growls and jumps to his feet. “I’m fixin’ ta load my shotgun ‘n take care a that boy.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong, Grumpy.” I drop my head, nervous to tell them the full truth. “It was me who messed up.”
“Start from the top, woman. My head is spinning, and I need all the details.” Evelyn pops open a bag of chips and sits back for the story.
I start out slow. I them about the true danger I was in. They glare and grumble, but don’t interrupt. Once the words flow, they don’t stop. I tell them the whole story about how I fell in love with Allistar, Syn, Maverick, and Marak. I explain the relationship the Harper-Smith men have with Parker, and the relationship their parents share.
Finally, I make it to the conversation I overheard in the hospital and how I walked out of their place without an explanation to avoid embarrassing myself and to allow them an out.
The three of them sit silently and patiently while I ramble. None of them give away what they think, and it makes me nervous. Maybe they’re freaked out by my confessions and what I wish would happen with the guys. They probably think I’m out of my damn mind, and they could be right.
“So,” Evelyn drags out when I finally snap my mouth shut. “You just left?”
I nod, and Michelle drops her head back to let out a long breath. “You’re such an idiot.”
“What?” My eyes jump to her and widen.
“You need to talk to them, Taylor. You’re not being fair to them or to yourself by walking out without telling them how you feel.”
Well, when she says it like that, it makes some sense.
“Aren’t you at all freaked out about the whole four men part of this?” Evelyn shouts, pushing Michelle’s arm lightly. My heart squeezes for a second. She’s disgusted with me. “How the hell does this bitch get four sexy men, and I can’t even get one? Where’s the damn justice? Where’s my damn harem of men?”
“Quit bein’ ugly, Evelyn, it ain’t a good color on ya,” Grumpy scoffs playfully. He then turns to me, his bright eyes narrow. “Yer a bright gal, Tayter-Tot. Ya always been smart ‘n I never thought I’d be sayin’ this, but yer ‘about four cents short of a nickel.”
My jaw drops. “Are you calling me an idiot?”
“If the shoe fits...” He shrugs.
“Lace that bitch up and wear it!” Evelyn finishes for him. She giggles when I try to smack her.
“Let’s be serious for a minute, guys.” Ever the mature one, Michelle brings us back on topic.
Grumpy grunts in agreement with her. “As I was sayin’, yer an idiot if ya don’t give ‘em boys the truth about how ya feel. Y’all know good ‘n well I’m ‘bout as useful as teats on a bull when it comes to love ‘n crap. But I’m a man, ‘n I know how most of us men folk think.”
“And how’s that?” Evelyn asks.
“We don’t.” He shrugs. “The fool doth think he’s wise, but the wise man knows himself a fool.”
Michelle gasps, and her eyes grow huge. “Did you just quote Shakespeare?”
“I’ve read books in ma time, girl. I ain’t a complete idiot. Some parts’re missin’.” He winks at us as we giggle.
Grumpy always knows how to brighten everything. “I’d bet ya dollars ta donuts them boys’re sittin’ ‘round with their thumbs up their asses ‘n ain’t any idea what ‘ey oughta do next. They’ve shown they’re smart as a whip, but they’re still men. They ain’t got a single clue how ta handle ‘is shit.”
“Or they’re sitting around drinking in celebration of getting rid of me,” I counter, doubt pushing its way to the surface.
“They ain’t.” Grumpy shakes his head.
Michelle raises her eyebrows at the sureness in his tone. “You’re probably right, and I totally agree with you. But, how do you know they’re not?”
“‘Cause I know. I got ma ways, girl. Don’t go questionin’ an ol’ man.” He has a secret, but I don’t have the energy to beat it out of him.
“Is this why you barely speak to Dr. Lenny?” Evelyn asks with a sly grin.
Grumpy sputters, “We ain’t talkin’ ‘bout me. Now hush up’r I’ll pick a switch fer ya, girl.”
Evelyn giggles, and I narrow my gaze at Grumpy. He’ll talk about Trish when he’s ready, but I make a note to tell him I only want him happy.
Something still nags at my mind about his reaction to my revelation. “Does it bother you, Grumpy? Me falling for four guys at once, I mean.”
“Why should it?” He frowns as if he doesn’t understand. “It don’t change who ya are. Yer still you, ‘n I’ll love ya no matter what happens. If ya grew three heads ‘n scales, I wouldn’t give a damn. Yer ma little girl, Tayter-Tot. Nothin’ ‘n no one could ever change ‘at.”
Thankfully, I’m not the only one who breaks down into ugly sobs. Michelle and Evelyn join me, and Grumpy looks horrified by all the emotion and estrogen in the room. He takes a few steps backward, toward the door.
He shakes his head and holds his hands up as if to protect himself from us. “Y’all know good ‘n well I don’t do this cryin’ bullshit. Eat yer damned chocolate ‘n cut that crap out.”
Without another word, he spins around and hauls ass out of the room. Michelle, Evelyn, and I have a good laugh at his expense. Then we talk. And talk. And talk.
They get the dirty details about what happened with the guys. Michelle is scandalized, and Evelyn is jealous. But both are supportive and loving. They make me believe for the moment it’ll be okay in the end. They stay all night with me. We laugh, we cry, we hug, we throw food at each other. We spend time as best friends, as sisters.