An elbow in my side wakes me the next morning. When I manage to pry my tired eyes open, I find an angry Evelyn with a half-asleep death glare. At first, I can’t understand what her damn problem is, but then I hear the sound of a text message on my phone. I set my messages to continuously ding every minute until they’re read. It wasn’t set to do it before, but I was pathetically anticipating any text the guys sent me, even if I didn’t answer any of them.
“If that fucking thing chirps one more time, I’m going to break it.” Evelyn and I have similar temperaments when our sleep is disturbed. Michelle could sleep through a bomb going off. She hasn’t moved an inch on the other side of Evelyn. My old king-sized bed comes in handy for girls’ nights. It’s the reason Grammy made Grumpy buy it for my room when I reached high school.
With a dramatic groan, I roll over and pick up the offensive noise maker, fully ready to turn it off and go back to sleep. The name on the screen stops me, though. Syn sent me a message. The guys haven’t texted in three days, and I was under the impression they’d given up any attempts to contact me. Their earlier messages only consisted of questions about why I left and if I was ever coming back. Nothing about wanting me.
My heart beats faster as I open the message and scan the contents. Then, it drops and shatters for the millionth time. His text only confirms what I already knew. They want all traces of me gone.
Syn: You left some things here. Do you want me to drop them off, or do you want to pick them up? You’d need to tell me where you’re staying if you want me to drop them off.
My reply is short.
Taylor: I’ll come by today.
To keep the sobs in, I bite my lip hard. I slowly crawl out of bed and grab some clothes from the duffle bag I have yet to unpack. Evelyn fell back to sleep in seconds and Michelle never budged. I sneak out of the room to allow them their sleep and shuffle across the hall to the bathroom. After a quick shower, I tie my wet hair up into a messy bun. I couldn’t care less if I look frumpy, and I skip over makeup also. My teeth get a good scrub, then I throw on the leggings and oversized sweater I pulled from the bag.
When I emerge from the bathroom, Grumpy holds a cup of coffee in one hand and the newspaper in the other. He glances up at me, doing a double take. “Why ya cryin’ again, girl? I ain’t good with ‘at. Get ta bein’ mad instead, mad I can deal with.”
With a quick swipe over my cheeks, I put on a fake smile. “I need to get the rest of my stuff from their place.” I pause when an idea forms. “Unless you want to do it for me?”
“Nope, sure as shootin’ don’t ‘n sure as shit ain’t.” He grunts and turns back to his paper. “Ya oughta go talk ta ‘em boys, ‘n now’s as good a time’s any.”
I pout, but it’s useless. Grumpy never caved from my theatrics. Grammy was the softy of the two. I’d give anything in the world to talk to her and ask her what I should do.
My feet pound harder than necessary to the front door. When I glance around for the keys to Grumpy’s car, he whistles to grab my attention and tosses them to me as soon as I face him. I catch them seconds before they hit my head.
“You’re nothing but a mean old man,” I grumble and stomp out of the house. His laughter follows me, but I slam the door on him.
The drive doesn’t take nearly as long as I’d like. I consider a quick breakfast stop to bide my time, but my stomach immediately repels the idea. After parking in their driveway, I sit in the car for a full five minutes to work up the courage to go inside.
Stalling doesn’t help my nerves, so I bite the bullet. When I reach the door, my hand reaches for the knob. It’s an instinct from staying here for such a long time. I never knocked before; I just walked in like I belonged here.
Three deep breaths later, I push back the emotions as they bubble to the surface, then ring the bell. It doesn’t take long for Allistar to answer the door. Seeing him stabs me right in the gut. His dark blond hair is slicked back, the sides cut shorter than the last time I saw him. He was due for a trim, and I meant to tell him.
“Hey, Taylor.” His tone gives nothing away, but he clearly isn’t surprised to see me, which means Syn told him I’d be by.
I rock back on my heels. “Hi, um...” My voice is rough as the sadness creeps out. I clear my throat and try again. “Syn asked me to come get my stuff.”
He nods, opens the door wider, and gestures for me to come inside. Stepping into the house feels weird, like I’m an unwanted guest in a place I used to call home.
“He said he got everything ready for you. It’s in the living room,” Allistar says over his shoulder, walking toward the living room and away from me.
Steeling myself for who else I might run into while I’m here, I follow Allistar. My eyes remain downcast on the beautiful hardwood floors I love so much. After today, I won’t see them again. When Allistar stops, I stop a few feet behind him.
Someone other than Allistar clears their throat, and my head shoots up to find the other three guys around the room. Allistar strolls over and joins them.
I blink, confused and unsure what to do. My stuff is nowhere in sight, and the guys’ expressions don’t give any hint as to what I should do. My feet shuffle in place, and my hands twist together with nerves. “Sorry, I didn’t know it was a bad time. I can come back or send Grumpy or something.”
I turn on my heel, but don’t make it two steps before Maverick’s deep voice stops me in my tracks. “Stop right there, Taylor.”
It isn’t a request; it’s a demand. My body obeys him before my mind can catch up. He walks up behind me and turns me back to face him and the others. “You’re going to sit down and listen to us. When we’re finished talking, you can make the choice to run again, but not until then. Understand?”
My eyes dart to the others, wondering how they’ll react to Maverick’s demands. None of them move a muscle or change their expressions. I have no idea what they might be thinking, and it drives me insane.
“Answer me, Taylor.” Maverick draws my attention back to him.
“I understand.” Again, the words come automatically.
He leans forward. His lips barely touch my earlobe. “That’s my sweet girl.”
My body ignites. By the way his eyes shine when he pulls back, he knows what influence he has on me. Ignoring him and the urge to jump into his arms and kiss him senseless, I pull out of his hold.
Four quick steps, and I’m able to sink down into the recliner across from the couch.
“We really don’t need to have this conversation.”
My body shakes with nerves. It makes me a total idiot to sit here and let them tell me to my face all the reasons why they want me gone. If there were any brains in my head, I’d get up and make a run for it. But my ass may as well be glued to the chair—I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.
Syn shakes his head. “No, we really do. You’re not going to run away from us again without hearing us out.”
“Fine, talk.” To cover my nerves, I cross my arms and try to appear irritated. They don’t buy it. Maybe the tremors racing through my body give it away.
Maverick sits down and leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “How do you feel about us, Taylor?”
The question takes me off guard, and I reel back in shock. “Come again?”
“You heard him.” Syn cocks a brow. “How do you feel about us?”
“Why does it matter?” If I had the guts, I’d tell them I love them and that I want them all to love me, too. I’d say we need to be together and raise this baby as a family because any other way just doesn’t feel right. But unfortunately for me, I’m a spineless coward.
“It matters because we’re all in love with you, damn it!” Marak’s shout surprises us all. It isn’t like him to get loud.
His confession sinks in slowly, and the more it does, the wider my eyes grow. “Is this a trick to get me to pick one of you?”
“Do you want to pick only one of us?” Allistar asks.
The four of them hold their breath, but it isn’t clear if they want a yes or a no.
Holding everything in has me completely drained, and I can’t do it anymore. I decide to be honest instead of flippant. They already want me gone; it can’t get worse. “No, I can’t pick one of you.”
“Why not?” Maverick asks.
“Because...” I shrug, then suck in a slow breath. “Because while I was staying here, I fell in love with all of you. I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but I won’t say I love any of you more than the others. I can’t decide to be with only one of you. It destroys me to let any of you go, but I’d rather do that than ruin a family.”
“You’re wrong.” Marak scoots forward on the couch, wincing as his bad leg taps the coffee table. My arms itch to wrap around him and help, to make sure he’s alright. My body literally jolts forward minutely, but I catch myself before I can jump up and run to him. He smiles softly at my subtle move. “Red, you’re so fucking wrong it isn’t even funny.”
“Which part?” My hands turn to fists, partly to hold myself in place and partly to mask the tremors.
“Pretty much all of it,” he scoffs. “You think we want you to pick one of us?”
“Or worse, that we want you to leave us,” Syn adds.
Marak glances back at his friend and nods. “That’s not even close to what we want. We know what picking one of us over the others would do to our friendship. We won’t risk that, but we can’t lose you, either.”
My heartbeat thumps in my ears, and my body vibrates. Allistar pushes himself up, walks to me, and sits on the coffee table in front of me. “We want you, Taylor. All of us want you and all of us love you. We want you to want us all.”
“We want to try it like the Harper-Smith family does it.” Syn shrugs as if it’s no big deal. “You’ll belong to only the four of us, and we’ll be only yours.”
This is exactly what I want. To have the four of them love me the way I love them. My heart soars at the idea of my wish coming true, but I smash the excitement down. They don’t know what they’re getting themselves into. They supposedly wanted me. But now it isn’t only me. I’m a package deal, and they can’t make the choice without knowing everything.
“I can’t,” I choke out, biting the inside of my cheek.
Maverick jumps to his feet, his eyes burn into me with anger. “What the hell do you mean, you can’t? You just said how you feel, and we want the same thing.”
“Things have changed for me,” I whisper. My head drops to hide the ever-falling tears.
Allistar exhales sharply. “Did you find someone else?”
Maverick growls low and deep. “If it’s that fucking boy at your job, I’ll wring his little neck.”
“Oh, calm down you damn caveman!” I shout and jump to my feet. My finger pokes into Maverick’s chest. “I never even sent Tim a text telling him I wasn’t interested anymore because I completely forgot about him. You four make me forget about everything.”
“Then what is it?” Syn asks harshly. “We just saw you less than a week ago, Taylor. You and Marak are still covered in purple and black bruises that haven’t had time to heal. What could have possibly changed in such a small amount of time?”
“It’s not just me, anymore,” I whisper.
Syn stands and grips my chin. He gently pulls my head up and forces my eyes to meet his. “You’re not making any sense. What do you mean, baby?”
“Exactly,” I whimper.
He stops breathing, and I know he figured it out. Out of all the guys, I knew Syn would understand what I meant to say without forcing me to say it. His mind always searches through any medical reason for a situation before he moves to other options. This time he didn’t have to think further.
Sobs wrack my body as I step away from him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t planned, I swear. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Can someone explain this shit to me?” Maverick growls while Allistar puts his arms around me. He must notice my intentions to run away before I made a move.
Syn blinks at me, silent for a long time. Then finally, he slowly turns toward Maverick and Marak. Allistar remains behind me, holding me tight to his chest while I let the tears flow. If I had any fight left in me, I’d pull away, but I’m exhausted mentally and physically. “She’s, uh...” he clears his throat and shakes his head, “she’s pregnant.”
No one speaks for what feels like hours. Finally, Syn turns his shocked blue eyes back to me. “Why would you keep this from us?” The stricken look from Syn tears at my heart, but I try to remain indifferent for my sanity’s sake for after they’re gone.
“It’s not your responsibility.” I shrug, wiping the tears away angrily.
Maverick’s expression twists with anger and hurt. “The fuck it isn’t! The responsibility belongs to all of us. All five of us.”
“It does not,” I fire back. “You didn’t ask for this. I’m not going to put this on you guys. I’ll be fine on my own.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Marak explodes. He pulls his crutches under him and uses his anger to push himself up. “Were you not going to tell us? What the fuck was your plan, Red?”
“I didn’t think that far ahead,” I admit. Allistar makes it easy for me to pull away from him this time. My palms push into my eyes and rub at the soreness. After too many tears, my eyes hurt. “You guys need an out. If you were smart, you’d take this chance and run now.”
“What makes you think we’d want an out?” Allistar challenges. He sits on the ottoman across from me.
I blink down at him, unsure if he’s serious. He clearly is as there’s no humor or irony in his eyes. “Of course, you want an out! No man in their right mind would want to be in this situation.”
Marak reels back as if physically stricken by my words. “Why would you say that?”
“Marak, come on. What was I supposed to tell you guys?” A humorless laugh escapes, but quickly turns into more sobs. “The best I could come up with was ‘Hey guys, I’ve fallen in love with all of you, but only one of you is going to be a daddy, and I have no fucking idea which one. Hope that’s cool with everyone’. Not exactly what a guy would want to hear from the girl he’s only sort of, kind of, not really dating.”
“Jesus, Taylor,” Maverick growls, his anger stronger. “We all agreed to date you. We told you we were fine with it. Why don’t you believe us?”
“Date, Mav,” I counter. My nerves won’t allow me to sit still, so I pace the room instead. “You all agreed it was okay if I dated the four of you. No one said anything about being okay with me screwing all of you.”
I spin on my heel and pace the other way. “I didn’t mean to do that, either. I didn’t plan it or scheme or anything. It just sort of happened.”
My gaze snaps to Syn, who probably thought of how this happened. “I was on birth control. I get the shot, or I did. Trish said something about it being part of an ineffective batch that was recalled or some crap.”
His eyes soften with understanding. He probably saw the commercial for the recall like I did. It came about ten weeks too late for me, but at least they issued some sort of warning. “Either way, the four of you didn’t sign up for this. You didn’t say ‘Let’s all be one big happy family and have a baby together, the five of us. Let’s raise the baby as ours and live happily ever after.’”
“But what if we did?” Syn speaks up, his shock slowly disappearing.
All eyes turn to him, mine impossibly wide. “What do you mean?”
“I mean.” He pushes himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and strides slowly over to me. “What if we did say we wanted to be one big happy family, the five of us plus the baby. What would you say to that?”