The doggone real truth is that masturbation is pleasurable and that most of us indulge in it, if not consistently, then in spurts of enjoyment, depending on our beliefs, the context of our life and presence of, or availability of a partner.
In reality, the more sexually active you are, the more likely you are to masturbate, even if you do have a partner. Kinsey, the world’s best known sexpert, found people who masturbated early in life led more rigorous sex lives than those who didn’t, and continued them long past when the average person stopped having sex.
Surely mankind was meant to masturbate. You can see very young children playing with their genitals and obviously enjoying it. And kindergarten teachers are consistently embarrassed when the group is sitting on the mat and there’s a little boy who is blissfully rubbing himself, either through his pants or with his hand up his shorts’ leg, or a little girl who is rubbing her panties, or even more sneakily rocking up and down on her crossed legs, with her foot exerting a gentle pressure on her crotch.
Men, of course, are far more likely to masturbate because they’re handling their apparatus at least four times a day for urination. And they’re also usually blessed with a morning erection, which some men see as a good enough demand for attention to the penis and pleasurable release.
But the down side of the ready cues for masturbation that men get is the haste and secrecy with which they typically go about giving themselves hand relief, because masturbation is frowned upon by society and a public masturbation performance would be certain to attract moral, if not legal, outrage. And little boys live in dread that their mummies will walk into their bedroom or the bathroom and catch them with a jolly roger and they will be judged as naughty and rude and bad.
Women, however, may not consciously masturbate until they’re living away from their parents. The thought may have been there, and they may have even practised it on a few occasions, but in general, women fear exposure even more than men and are very careful about when and where they masturbate.
I read about one sex therapist who prescribed self-stimulation for a woman who was having difficulty in achieving orgasm with her partner. The woman did her homework and joyfully reported considerable success at her next session. However, she said there was one question that was troubling her, “Was I masturbating?” “Well…” said the therapist, “I prefer to call it ‘self-exploration’”. “Thank heavens!” said the woman, “I was afraid I was masturbating”.
Do you see what kind of social stigma this practice has? And compared to a man, whose body is constantly reminding him that he does have a penis, usually a girl has to put some conscious attention into fondling her genitals.
The mind is a powerful instrument and can easily pretend that the fondling is not really happening. Especially if there is no direct contact with the hands and instead perhaps the genitals are being rubbed against surfaces such as against a hairbrush handle or under a running tap. In this case, she’s not masturbating is she?
But, in fact, there is an infinite number of ways that women can choose to masturbate; and indeed, if we could be flies on the walls of every woman’s space through her lifetime, we’d probably witness all sorts of weird and wonderful ways that women masturbate.
The good news is virtually all women who masturbate can do so to orgasm. British sexpert Susan Quilliam puts the figure at 95%!
In fact, if you’re a woman and you haven’t masturbated, it’s quite likely you’ve never had an orgasm.
Masturbation
is a sure way, and often the only way, to discover what turns you
on sexually, to find that guaranteed technique which almost always
makes you climax.
After all, few of us are lucky enough to start our sexual lives
with a lover who is so patient and skilled that he or she can teach
us everything we need to know about our own body.
This might seem a pretty obvious question, but why do we masturbate?
Well firstly because we were programmed to; our genitals are meant to be stimulated for pleasure. If not, wouldn’t it be a cruel joke of God’s; why would he have made us the only living creatures who can enjoy sex for pleasure and not just for procreation?
Or as one wag so cleverly put it:”If God really didn’t want us to masturbate, he would have put our genitals between our shoulder blades.”
Think about that one. ..
Now, secondly, we have solo masturbation because we can do it well and it pretty well guarantees an orgasm without having to divert time and energy looking after someone else’s needs or pleasures. In laboratory studies, sex researchers have found from such indicators as increased heart rate, changes in blood pressure, and measurements of muscle tension, that for many men and women orgasms from self-stimulation are more intense than those from intercourse.
An obvious reason for this is that you know what sensations feel good to yourself when you masturbate and you can get immediate, accurate feedback on what you want.
So you might well now ask if that’s so, then how come people haven’t given up intercourse? Well, of course, there is much more to sexual relationships than just genital stimulation and orgasm. The emotional and physical give and take of intercourse is likely to keep it popular for quite some time.
Thirdly, solo masturbation allows us to practice and explore the variety of music that our genital instruments are capable of, so that we can enjoy sex with a partner more.
I mean, how can you expect a partner to know the best ways to turn you on and keep you aroused for maximum pleasure if you don’t know how first? So the feedback you can get from self-stimulation can greatly enhance your lovemaking potential.
But the most important advantage for solo masturbation that’s so relevant for men and women is not only is it healthy, the most important thing is that it’s safe. You can’t catch something nasty from masturbating.
And for men and women, being able to give yourself an orgasm is true sexual independence.
There are some additional reasons why women should masturbate!
It teaches us to separate love from sex. We’re more able to distinguish sex affairs from love affairs because we realise having an orgasm doesn’t mean we’re in love.
For a woman who is without a man, it could stop you from climbing the walls or sleeping with that first guy that you meet.
And for women, masturbation can be the greatest beauty treatment that you can get for free. Orgasm improves circulation and makes the skin glow!