“Someone has threatened Adèle? No more harmless will-o’-the-wisp ever graced this good earth. This is hard to credit, and we cannot let it go.” My husband pounded the tea table with his fist. The cups danced and a jostled spoon flew off the tray and onto the ground. “What child could have written that vile note? That dastardly threat?”
A moment’s reflection set me wondering. “Mr. Rochester, I am not sure it was written by another person. The handwriting is unfamiliar, but it is unsigned. It could be an intrigue. Perhaps this is a bid for attention. Such a scheme would not be beyond Adèle’s contrivance.”
What I did not admit to was the possibility that it was not another child at all, but someone in authority. I knew the school environment; I knew it well, both as student and as teacher. I had seen the petty cruelties inflicted on schoolchildren, and I knew them to spring from twin fountainheads of preening self-righteousness and unearned moral superiority. Those in authority justified false economies and capricious acts of discipline all in the name of “saving souls.” They acted as judge and jury, pushing God off his throne so they could sit there in His stead. At their hands, and according to their whims, children with no one to speak on their behalf could suffer.
I also knew, however, that Lucy Brayton had recommended the Alderton House School for Girls to Edward, so I trusted it was well run. She knew of the superintendent, Mrs. Webster, and vouched for the woman’s character. However, these messages from Adèle set me wondering.
“I suppose it is possible this is all some sort of an intrigue…” Edward began.
Mr. Carter nodded vigorously. “I have two daughters myself. The whispering, the fights, the making up. Well, it keeps Mrs. Carter and me quite busy. Perhaps the girl is lonely, and the second note is but a bid to force you to pay her attention.”
“Is there any other mail? Perhaps a letter from Mrs. Webster, the superintendent? Something that might explain Adèle’s plea?” Edward leaned toward me, straining to see.
“Here’s one from Lucy Brayton. We haven’t heard from her in a while.” I unfolded the paper quickly and started to read:
Dear Edward and Jane,
I returned from Bombay last Monday to discover the letter I’d written the two of you still sitting on my dresser! It appears that I forgot to mail it! Oh heavens, I would misplace my head if it were not melded to my body! Could it be that six months have gone by without us corresponding?
Well, it was a short note, so I shall recap its contents. Augie had sent me an urgent message requesting that I go to him in Bombay. Seems he’d contracted malaria, and he wanted me for a nurse. (I can imagine you laughing at the absurdity of that, Edward! However, since he rarely asks for my presence, I felt much obliged to hasten to his side.) So I threw my clothes into trunks and took the next ship bound for India.
By the time I disembarked, he was much improved, although the fever came and went, leaving him quite spent. Despite Augie’s illness (or possibly because of it, since I—like the fever!—was free to come and go as I pleased) I enjoyed my time there. I bought your new bride a beautiful gift!
To make amends and work my way back into your good books—for I truly meant to mail that letter so you would know I was out of the country!—I decided to visit Alderton House immediately. My intention was to send you a full report on Adèle.
Well, you will scarcely credit this, but when I arrived, I was turned away at the door by a large woman with a face like curdled milk. She introduced herself as one Maude Thurston, the new superintendent. It seems that Mrs. Webster has retired!
I was told that the girls were in their lessons. I replied to Mrs. Thurston that I was confident Adèle could miss a few minutes of her lesson without incurring a great disaster to her education, but the woman would not budge. Finally, I retreated. I came again on the next day at a different time. I was told that Adèle couldn’t see me because she was being disciplined. Again, this sour-faced harridan and I argued. I even invoked the name of Lady Kingsley, the founder of that institution. To no avail.
You know me well, Edward. Augie once likened me to a mad dog. Once I sink my teeth in, I absolutely refuse to let go. I waited two days and traveled again to Alderton House.
Mrs. Thurston told me quite coolly that my visits were ill timed. I told her that if she did not produce Adèle on the spot I would take myself to the local constabulary and complain. You can imagine how unhappy my threat made her!
At length, she fetched Adèle.
I tell you, the child’s appearance shocked me. She has always been slight, but now her shoulders stick out at sharp angles. Her pale skin shows no hint of good health. I asked her how she fared, and she answered, “I am fine. I am happy here. I work hard to be a good student.” Of course, Mrs. Thurston glared at both of us during this exchange.
Recognizing I could learn little more, I took my leave, but before I went, Adèle threw her arms around me and whispered in my ear, “I am unhappy! Where is mon bon ami? Ask him to come rescue me!”
I suggest you come visit me sooner rather than later. Bring your lovely bride. I shall take her to all the best places in London!
Yours sincerely,
Lucy Brayton
“Jane, after this letter, I agree with you wholeheartedly. We must see this for ourselves. If Adèle is unhappy, we need to know why. If the school is rigorous, then her discomfort is part of her education. However, if she is being mistreated, I shall not abide it.” Edward’s face transformed into a mask of anger. “I remember the way the upper form treated us new boys at Eton.”
I knew of these memories. He had shared them with me. His days at school were nearly as bleak and lonely as mine, except for the friendship he had formed with Augustus Brayton. As both were second sons, the two boys had been cast adrift, left to their own devices. They endured all sorts of indignities, chief among these being unreasonable punishments designed to assault the spirit as well as leave bloody markings on the body.
“We meant to visit Adèle,” I said, when I regained control of myself. “And to see Lucy Brayton in London. This only adds urgency to our plans.” With that, I tucked the two letters into my pocket.
Adèle’s misery could not be ignored, but as for the threat, it might be a simple schoolgirl quarrel taken to an extreme. Perhaps Adèle had written the second threatening note herself, as a way of insuring our immediate response. If so, I would endeavor to uncover what caused her to sink so low as to perform that odious vice. If not, I could take appropriate actions to see that the true author received a reprimand.
Mr. Carter had been quietly sipping his tea and nibbling at one of the spicy gingerbread biscuits that Mary baked for us weekly. “Allow me to assist you. I would be happy to take Mrs. Rochester to the Farrows’ house this evening, where we can spend the night. The next morning, I will drive to Millcote, where you can be a guest at my own home until you can secure passage at the coaching inn. I believe their carriages leave for London daily, but I am unfamiliar with their schedule.” He checked his pocket watch. “If we leave directly, we should make it to the Farrows’ in time for supper.”
“I shall go pack our things, Edward.” I jumped to my feet.
“Pardon me, Mrs. Rochester? Perhaps you misheard,” said Mr. Carter. “If one of you must travel immediately, then I offer to take you, Mrs. Rochester, but you alone. As I have warned, Mr. Rochester cannot travel at this moment. If you do not rest your eye, sir, at least for a few days, you will go blind.”
There followed a disturbing silence. Mr. Carter had put our situation in stark relief. I believe he surprised himself as well by being so bold. But he had no other option. Barring such an unhappy prognosis, Edward would of course have made the trip with me.
“Listen, my old friend.” Mr. Carter pitched his voice low and filled it with authority. “I, too, am a father. Your child will love you whether you can see him or not. However, if you miss the chance to behold your son, you will miss one of life’s great joys. I urge you, still that restless nature. A few days of enforced leisure sounds like an eternity, but I promise you, it is not. Besides, the specialist will not be available for another month.”
I watched my husband react to this advice. At first, Edward’s features contorted with emotion that betrayed the full measure of his helplessness. But slowly, the sensibility of Mr. Carter’s remarks moved him to acceptance. Mr. Carter did not speak out of pettiness. He spoke as a healer and a friend. Edward knew this. I did, too.
“Leah can go with you,” suggested Edward, turning toward me.
“No,” I reminded him, “she cannot. Her sister is having a baby this week or the next. I promised she could travel to Headley to assist.”
“You cannot make the trip alone.” My husband was not commanding me, but merely stating what to him seemed obvious.
“Of course I can. Remember that I was only ten when my aunt put me in a carriage bound for Lowood Institution, and that was a trip of fifty miles.”
“Lowood!” said Mr. Carter. “You must be grown from hearty stock to have survived such a miserable place!”
True. When I was sent to Lowood Institution, a “charitable” boarding school for girls, it was a blessing to be away from my cold aunt and cruel cousins. But the school was a dismal place, one that used the pretense of Christian charity as an excuse for deprivation. The Reverend Robert Brocklehurst, the supervisor of the school, attempted to explain away our starvation, poor living conditions, and harsh treatment by pronouncing such measures necessary for the sake of our characters. Yet while we starved, while we shivered in the cold, while we darned threadbare stockings to make them last, money intended for our care dressed the Brocklehurst family in fine clothes, fed them lavish meals, and decorated their home to their expensive tastes.
An epidemic of deadly typhus ran rampant through the school my first winter there—made all the more virulent, sadly, because the living conditions were dire and the occupants were weak—and though I escaped without contracting the foul disease, many others at Lowood were taken. Without those human sacrifices, we would have suffered even longer from the stern deprivations impressed upon us by Reverend Brocklehurst—for the resulting discoveries so horrified other wealthy and benevolent individuals that they paid to build us a new school in a better location, improved our diet and clothing allowances, and removed Reverend Brocklehurst from a position of authority.
“I can accompany you, Jane.” Mrs. Fairfax stood in the shadows of the portico into the hallway, her quiet intrusion startling all of us. Tendrils of ivy climbed up the lattice and wove their way down the other side. New leaves of soft green blended with the older, darker ones.
“Thank you,” I said to her, “but no. That is kind of you, but you are too dearly needed here. Earlier today you offered your help with our correspondence. There will be requests regarding Thornfield. They should be answered without delay. Master will appreciate your secretarial skills, and I know that no one would watch over Ned more closely than you. With you here, I can leave my son without worrying.”
This was a lie, and we all knew it. Of course I would worry. How could I not? My heart fluttered and my mouth went dry. I did not want to leave my son. I hated to leave my husband. But I could not accept Mrs. Fairfax’s offer. The gentle housekeeper was beyond middle age when I met her, and over the past year, she had moved more slowly and with more effort. A trip to London would be arduous, and I had no desire to see her suffer. Besides, she was accustomed to running a household and to Edward’s ways. With her here, I knew that neither of my boys would lack for anything.
“It is a long way,” Mrs. Fairfax said. “Are you sure you want to travel alone?”
For a tick, I nearly gave in. I nearly said that the visit would need to wait.
But as I stood there in the garden, torn between worry over Adèle and concern for my son and husband, Mr. Carter provided an answer to my dilemma. “My wife has been wanting to visit London. She could accompany Mrs. Rochester from Millcote. They can leave either Saturday or Sunday evening, depending on whether Mrs. Rochester would like to accompany us to church.”
Edward’s shoulders relaxed. Mrs. Fairfax let go of the breath she had been holding and with her gnarled hands smoothed the snowy muslin apron she always wore. My insides untwisted, slowly.
So it was settled.
I would check on Adèle.
I would go to London.
Once I made my decision, a frisson of excitement stirred within me.
London! I was bound for London!
In his youth, Edward had traveled to the capitals of Europe and farther, to the island of Jamaica. Oh, such wondrous sights he’d seen! But I had never visited beyond the local counties.
In my childhood, books of adventure had been my constant companions. I spent many solitary hours weaving fantasies about the great wide world. Of course, I had heard much of London and its various sights. I supposed that Mrs. Brayton would want to promenade in Hyde Park where all the ton, the high society, went to be seen. Perhaps we would visit Fortnum and Mason and shop for spices. Certainly, a grand lady like her would take me to visit a milliner so I could replace my much worn hat.
As I considered these options, there came the happy realization my trip would also permit me to visit Hatchards bookshop on Piccadilly. I could replenish our library and replace many of the volumes lost in the fire at Thornfield Hall! The prospect delighted me beyond words.
The library that had served Adèle and me as our schoolroom at Thornfield was now nothing more than a feathery pile of ashes. Gone were the floor-to-ceiling glass-fronted bookcases with their volumes of light literature, poetry, biography, travels, and romances. How I missed them! Especially at night when I read to Edward and Mrs. Fairfax, who often fell asleep to the sound of my voice with her knitting still in her hands.
This was a trip long overdue.
We could procrastinate no longer.
I was eager to see my former student—and London. But I hated to leave Ned and Edward!
My emotions warred against each other. I fought to keep my face from exposing my dilemma. This was a time for duty, not for indulgent sentiment.
“I will guard Ned as if he were my own son,” Mrs. Fairfax assured me, trembling with emotion.
I knew she meant it.
She inclined her head and added, “But Master is correct. You are not accustomed to the city. How will you cope without a chaperone?”
I nearly said, “Quite well,” but stopped my tongue lest she think me impertinent. “I shall have Mrs. Carter for companionship to London, and I will be in Mrs. Captain Brayton’s capable hands thereafter.”
Or so I hoped. I couldn’t imagine a society lady having any long-lasting interest in me. However, based on our husbands’ friendship, perhaps we would find common ground.
“This might work well. Lucy has been insisting you come for a visit. She is lonely in that big house.” With this, Edward laughed softly. “What a pair you will make.”
“Do you not think we shall get along?”
“On the contrary. I know you will. You are genuinely kindhearted. That’s one of the qualities I love about you. Lucy is also. Both of you are highly intelligent, although at first meeting one might be so dazzled by her finery that one might fail to see her wit.”
“Then it is settled.” Mr. Carter rose to his feet. “How long will it take you to pack, Mrs. Rochester?”
“I shall start preparations,” said Mrs. Fairfax. Over the next hour, she bustled with activity, overseeing my efforts. But as she stared down into my portmanteau, a soft “tsk, tsk” escaped her.
“Pity your wardrobe is so plain,” the housekeeper said. “At least there are the newer dresses made from fabric you ordered from the warehouse in Millcote. They will have to do.”
I nodded. One frock was an amethyst that flattered my green eyes. The other, my favorite and the most recent, perfectly copied the jewel-like color of a glass of claret.
I tucked a well-worn copy of Waverley in my portmanteau, one of the few books at Ferndean—left behind, I presumed, by one of the Rochester men while on a hunting trip.
Reflecting again on the treasures I might find at Hatchards, I turned back to my packing. I added two pencils, a charcoal stub, and a vegetable gum rubber for removing stray pencil marks, along with my sketch pad, to my bag.
“You should pack one serviceable dress, too,” Mrs. Fairfax said. “Your black silk would be useful. Black always travels well.”
Finally, to the pile in the trunk, I added a gown of silver gray silk that I had worn only once. The frock featured a modest neckline that I could fill in with a frothy white fichu. Rather than waste time, I chose to continue wearing my gray corded muslin, an everyday dress that would withstand the rigors of travel and not show too much soil. As a final touch, I pinned on my pearl brooch, a token given to me by a beloved teacher, Maria Temple Nasmyth.
Mindful of the changeable autumn weather, I also carried over my arm a soft wool shawl that my cousins Diana and Mary had woven for me. The blanket of brown, maroon, gold, and orange provided a tangible expression of their love.
I twisted a golden key in the lock of the portmanteau, then pinned the key to the inside of my waistband.
On my dresser rested a card that would be hammered to the trunk lid.
“You want a good bonnet,” said Mrs. Fairfax, lowering the trunk’s lid and nodding toward my well-worn chapeau.
“I do not own a more fashionable bonnet. My old one must do.”
“Jane, I know you prefer simplicity, but you now reflect on the Rochester name and fortune. Things are different in London. Appearances are everything! You won’t want to appear at Mrs. Brayton’s dinner table dressed too simply. Such a presentation might prove awkward. Why not take the Rochester diamonds with you? The pieces will add interest to your dresses and go a long way toward making up for any deficiencies of style.”
“I suppose you are right.”
After I had first agreed to marry Edward, he wanted to have his mother’s jewelry sent to us by courier from the bank in London, but I declined the offer. When described, the pieces sounded far too grand for me. Typically, I wore no jewelry except my gold wedding band, a recent gift from Edward, or the brooch from Miss Temple. That was enough for me.
Shortly after Ned was born, however, Edward revisited the subject of the Rochester diamonds. “Please, Jane, do not disappoint me. Allow me to properly thank you for giving me a son.”
The pieces had arrived a few days ago. Mrs. Fairfax had brought them to me as I sat rocking little Ned in the nursery. We opened the parcel together. The necklace, earrings, and circlet sparkled like dewdrops on the morning grass against the green velvet lining of the rosewood jewelry box. The sight of such opulence stunned me. “They are magnificent. Just as I remember them.” Mrs. Fairfax sighed.
I handed Ned to Hester and held the necklace up to the sunlight to see the multitude of prisms dance around the room. The pieces might be excessive for my tastes, but I could still admire their beauty and craftsmanship.
“Yes,” I said as I fought a lump in my throat. “They are dazzling.”
But Edward cannot see them, so what use are they? I thought.
With my portmanteau packed and ready to go, I retrieved the jewels and pondered how best to carry them.
“Why not put the jewels in your reticule?” Mrs. Fairfax handed me my purse. “That way they will stay close at hand.”
Following her suggestion, I tucked the velvet bag with the diamonds into my reticule with my wallet.
“I shall tell John to fetch your trunk.”
I thanked her and turned to Hester, who was holding Ned on one hip.
“Come here, little boy,” I said as I took my baby from the nursemaid’s arms. “My darling,” I cooed to him as I walked him around the nursery. He was nearly asleep, and I kissed him repeatedly before settling him down in his crib. “Save them up, little man. I shall be home before you know it, but I hope to deposit enough kisses that you won’t want for any until I return.”
For as long as I dared, I stood beside his bed, gazing in wonder at my sleeping child and stroking the peach fuzz of his hair. A quivering bubble of spit rested on his rosebud lips, and I wiped it away with my linen handkerchief. “Good-bye, my darling. I promise I shall come home soon.”
My breath caught and the room swam before my eyes. Had my mother whispered these selfsame words in my ear before she went to nurse my father? He had been the curate in a large manufacturing town and had caught typhus while ministering to the poor. My mother caught the fever from him. They died within a month of each other.
“I promise I shall come back to you,” I told Ned again with more feeling. I pressed a last kiss onto his rosy cheek and stood up, ignoring the growing pang in my chest.
Mrs. Fairfax accompanied Edward and me down the path leading to the grassy lane. Pausing there, I kissed my husband a tearful good-bye. Withdrawing from his embrace was nearly impossible, but I did it. Mr. Carter offered me his hand as I mounted the stone step and climbed into the doctor’s Stanhope Phaeton.
“I sent one of the stable hands on ahead to Millcote with a letter for Lucy,” my husband said. “A rider can outpace you in that carriage, easily. I told him that if he missed the mail pickup in Millcote, he was to hurry on to the next posting inn. The letter should arrive before you and alert her that you are coming. I shall tell her to expect you either Sunday or Monday.”
“Thank you.” My heart raced; my pulse thrummed loudly. Edward’s gaze reflected stoicism, but I detected a tension along his jawline.
He smiled at me, with effort. “Godspeed, my darling.”
“Are you ready, Mrs. Rochester?”
“I am.”
With a clap of the reins, Mr. Carter urged the horses forward.