“Turning toward you, I will increase you . . . I will lead you forth with your heads held high.” (Leviticus 26:9–13)
On the previous Sabbath, we examined the verse from “Song of Songs” (Cant. 6:3) in which the Children of Israel say of God, “I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine.” The question we asked was why we first assert a number of times, “My Beloved is mine,” and only later in the text (Cant. 7:11) do we say, “His longing is for me.” In the earlier assertion the Children of Israel seem to be saying, “God already belongs to us.” The later verse would thus seem to belong more appropriately before the earlier one, indicating as it does that while His desire is for us, He has not yet given Himself to us.
Aside from what we said last Sabbath, there is another way of interpreting the song. First though, one must point out another matter requiring clarification. In saying “His longing is for me,” the verse uses the Hebrew word ally, usually translated as “upon me.” Why not use the more appropriate Hebrew word ay-ly, which translates as “toward me” or “for me”? It would make more sense to say “His longing is for me,” as in the words of God to Cain (Genesis 4:7), “Sin crouches by the door. Its longing is for you. . . .”
It is thus: When “I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine,” it is our human longing for God that brings our Beloved close. The level of intensity of our desire for God and our adequacy, are all that determine the extent of our closeness to Him. When, however, we give ourselves to God again and again, this calls forth God’s longing for us, and then it becomes “His longing is upon me.” The desire becomes God’s desire, and not merely a connection brought about through our longing. This is why the text says “upon me” rather than “toward me.” When His desire for us is aroused, it goes beyond the simple reflection described in the verse (Proverbs 27:19), “For as water reflects the face to the face, so reflects the heart of man to the man.” God’s longing is not simply “for” me; it is now also “upon” me, much greater than I. And not only is God’s longing now greater than mine, but I, myself, have grown greater than I was. God’s longing is upon me, and His desire is so much greater than I, that I become greater than myself.
This might be the meaning in the event described in the Talmud (Berachoth 61b): “Rabbi Akiba was reciting the Sh’ma, accepting upon himself the yoke of heaven, while his flesh was being raked with iron combs. His students called to him, asking, ‘Thus far?’ Rabbi Akiba replied, ‘All my days I have been at pains over this verse in the Sh’ma (Deut. 6:5) “Love God your Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.” “When will I ever have the opportunity to fulfill it properly?” I asked myself. Right now, when I have the opportunity to love God with all my soul, should I not realize it?’ ”
Why was Rabbi Akiba at pains, longing for his martyrdom, to give up his soul for the love of God? If all he wanted was to do the will of God all the days of his life, he could do so by learning Torah, through worship, through observance of the commandments, and so forth. Even if he believed that martyrdom is the greatest commandment of all, if God does not bring about the circumstances of martyrdom in a person’s life, life nevertheless presents so many other opportunities to fulfill Torah commandments and to worship God, so why be at pains over it?
Together with what we have said before, the explanation may be as follows: Rabbi Akiba is quoted in the Mishnah at the end of Yoma (Yoma 8:9), “Lucky are you, Israel! Before Whom are you purifying yourselves, and Who is purifying you? Your Father in heaven. . . .”
The meaning is clear. There is a sequence: First the Children of Israel must attempt to purify themselves, and then God purifies them. So ardent was R. Akiba’s desire to have God sanctify and purify him that he attained the level of “His longing is upon me.” When this happened, R. Akiba became much greater than himself. He began to experience a longing to worship more powerful than that which he alone could attain, to the point where his longing became pain—pain that he was not able to give his life and soul completely to God.
R. Akiba also said something important with his statement “All my days I have been at pains . . .” During his lifetime, every Jew has moments, even hours, of great devotion. R. Akiba told his disciples that for him, intensity of worship and the longing to give over his soul were not momentary and fleeting, but “All my days.”
A person must imbue everything with “I am my Beloved’s.” Before anything else, he must observe the Torah and the commandments in thought, speech, and deed. He must know and understand that his main purpose and function in this world is to observe the Torah and the commandments; to be a Jew—that it was for this that God created him. This does not apply just to a person who can make Torah his vocation but to anyone, even one who spends most of his day engaged in business and worldly activities and can only find a few hours for study and prayer. That person can still make study and prayer his reason for being, though he has only a few hours to engage in it. If he puts his whole self into it, it becomes the focus and function of his whole life. A person spends only about an hour each day eating, and most of his time working and doing business, and yet eating is a focus of his life.
We must give ourselves entirely over to God with all our energy, especially in a time of great distress, God forbid. We need to be aware that salvation is not just necessary for us as people, but that as Jews we also desperately need help. Everything depends upon God, and without God there can be no salvation. So when a Jew gives himself over to God again and again, he arouses God’s longing and reaches the level of “His longing is upon me.” “Upon me” refers to God’s longing, which elevates us to become greater than ourselves, both physically and spiritually, as people and as Jews.
This is why the verse in our weekly portion first says “I will turn to you,” meaning “I will face you, ‘as water reflects the face to the face.’ ” God is saying: “As much as you are drawn toward Me, so will I be drawn toward you, at your level.” Then comes the second part of the verse, “I will lead you forth with your heads held high,” because once God desires us, we grow to be much greater than we were, at the level of “upon me.”