5

“The flowers are for you, Bailey, not Melissa. She called it in for me. Sorry about the crazy mix up. Do you like them?” I couldn’t believe she came to see me after all I’d put her through.

“They’re lovely, Scott, thank you.” Her mouth smiled but not her eyes. She didn’t kiss me or even come near just plopped down on the couch. An awkward silence nearly had me throwing up my lunch.

Dr. Harkin saved the moment. “Beautiful roses, Scott. Good sport of you to get Bailey some flowers. Melissa often makes things easier for our patients and their families. Glad she could be of help.” He touched his stethoscope to my chest.

I mentally high-fived the good doctor.

“You are doing remarkably well, Scott. I’m calling this a mild heart attack brought on by stress. We’ll send you home tomorrow with a prescription for blood pressure medicine and a bottle of nitro, just in case. We’ll treat the cholesterol with diet at first. Hopefully we can get it under control that way and not have to prescribe another medication. Now, we need to get you up and on your feet.”

“It’s about time. Thanks, Doc.” But not with Bailey in the room. Darn hospital gown.

“I’ll send a nurse in later, and she’ll help you get up. Take a few steps around your room, sit up in the chair for a while, and then tomorrow we’ll send you down the hall.”

“So I can get these tubes off?” A good thing, a really good thing.

“Sorry, not yet. But you keep making progress, and you’ll be disconnected from the IVs soon. I’ve other patients to see, so I’ll be going.” He reached his hand out for a shake.

“That’s good news. A step toward recovery. Oh, Scott, I’ve prayed so hard.” Bailey flew to my side and began to cry.

I reached for her.

“I know. I’m sorry about all this.” I stroked her arm until she regained composure. “Am I forgiven?” Silence. I’d better try again. “Surely you believe that your presence in my life eclipses anything that ever happened before I met you. I love you, Bailey.” I brought her face to mine with my fingers under her chin and then kissed her softly. I sure hoped my breath wasn’t horrible.

Her sigh gave me hope. She leaned into our kiss, but I could feel her nose scrunch up.

“Oh, no, my breath, I’m sorry.” I lifted my hand to cover my mouth.

She giggled. “That’s OK, sweetie, and I do believe you. Just took me off guard is all.”

“After all we’ve been through these last months, separately and then together, this should just be a hiccup.” Fantastic. My fiancée smiled. The thing I lived for.

“You know you’re right. I’d really been through the ringer the day I jumped into my car and just took off down the highway. Taking the Washout Express exit changed my life. Although at the time, I thought God agreed with me about being washed up in life.” She put both hands on her cheeks and closed her eyes. Did she see the tree-canopied road that led to our future together that began that day?

“I’ll never forget looking for Dad and finding him in the office of the washout shaking his cane at you and spouting ‘Queen o’ Sheba, Queen o’ Sheba, Queen o’ Sheba!’” Poor Dad, his stroke making communication difficult, but he didn’t have any trouble yelling at Bailey that day. I missed him so much.

“Did I ever tell you that I was completely blown away by the tenderness you showed him that afternoon? That and your blue eyes messed with my heart from the beginning.” She leaned over and kissed me punctuating the sentiment.

“You looked lost and vulnerable, but your brave front kind of touched me as well. I remember thinking how perfectly beautiful you looked trying to be all business-like but on the verge of tears. There was no way I could turn you down about staying at the inn, even though it had been closed up for months.” I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it.

“Even though Darryl’s treachery that day was the best thing that ever happened to me in the long run, it still kind of makes me sick to my stomach to remember seeing him and Phoebe Waverly come out of my house, my legacy from my grandmother, all hugged up and kissing. And that was after firing me a few days before. Some fiancé he turned out to be.” She shook her head and smirked. “I can’t believe I fell for his lies.”

“See how far we’ve come? I knew I loved you the day I found you praying at the prayer garden. When you told me you’d just broken up with your fiancée, I felt like singing.” Joy bubbled up in my heart at the memory. Yes, much better. We’d get through this.

“I noticed, but didn’t think I was ready for another relationship. My low self-esteem sank to a new low. But the Father led me to you and your idyllic little neighborhood so I could heal.” A tear laced down her cheek.

“We weathered Darryl trying to cheat you out of your home by fraud and then by arson, and then Dad’s second stroke, and my lame first proposal. Your refusal was quite a blow coming at the same time as Dad’s death. I can’t believe I pushed you away.” Those had been hard times. I was glad we were talking about them, because we still needed to discuss Melissa Murphy.

“The crushing sense of loss I felt when you ran into Gran’s burning house to get my letter box and things nearly did me in. I couldn’t believe you’d do that for me.” She shook her head.

“I knew that letter from your Father was one of the keys to your healing. I had to save it.” I squeezed her hand. It was a foolish, love-sick thing to do, but I was glad to do it.

“I felt so horrible when Peeps died, knowing turning you down made things worse. But you sounded as if you wanted to hire me, not marry me, which went against the grain of all I’d struggled to overcome. But you’re right; with God’s help, we found our way through it.” She wiped a tear from my eyes.

We put our heads together, which caused us both to laugh.

“How many times did we bump heads that first day? Drawing blood, no less. I hope it’s not an indication of what our marriage will be like,” she said dabbing at her nose with tissue.

“Absolutely not. I’m getting out of here soon, so you go on with the wedding plans. We’ll put all this behind us and go on with our life.” I would make it happen.

“That’s just it, Scott. I don’t think we should. We ought to postpone and make sure that you’re strong enough.” She pulled more tissues from the box beside my bed and wiped her tears.

“No, absolutely not. I’ll be fine. I’ll be standing at the altar waiting on you to get there, Bailey, not rolling down the aisle in a wheelchair. I can’t wait to marry you, and this setback is not getting in the way.” Come on, postpone? Was she serious? She’d suggested what I had seriously considered just a few days ago. How quickly I’d realized the truth. We were meant to be together. I’d deal with my grief over my parents’ deaths with Bailey by my side. As soon as I had that thought, another one surfaced. That’s no way to start a marriage. Well, I’d find a way to deal with it.

“I don’t think I can let you risk it. You’ll push yourself to make the wedding and the honeymoon, and then you’ll come back and start right in working too hard. I don’t want to lose you.”

She wept again, and it killed me. This would not do.

“Sweetheart, don’t do this. I will take better care of myself. I’ll do whatever the doctor tells me. In fact, let’s talk to him together. We’ll see what he says about it. You can wait until then, can’t you? Come here, baby.”

She leaned over and kissed me, tears moistening my face.

“That’s right.” She wiped her tears from my cheeks. “We’ll talk to Dr. Harkin tomorrow. Mother says he’s an excellent cardiologist. Will you abide by his suggestion? I mean, if he agrees that we should postpone, will you accept it?”

Doc would agree with me. I’d be fine. Didn’t he just say I’d made remarkable progress? “Yes, whatever he says. And you’ll go on with the plans if he gives approval?”

She held my face in her hands. “If Dr. Harkin thinks you can handle it, I’ll go ahead with our plans.” She leaned close and stroked my cheek.

“Great, now will you go home?” I playfully pushed her away from me.

“What? Just when things are feeling right again?”

“You will not see my backside hanging out of this hospital gown before the wedding. I don’t want you here to see me wobbling.” I used the rail button to raise my head farther.

Bailey giggled again. A beautiful sound. She stood and grabbed her purse. “I’ll go. I’d planned to tell you a secret, but you’re making me go home so never mind.”

“A secret? Wait, what is it?” What could have happened that I didn’t know about? I’d only been gone from home for a few days.

“Too late, you ran me off. I’ll just tell you later. Ask the nurse for a second gown to put around back and you’ll be covered for your walk.” She laughed as she bent over the bed for a goodbye peck on the cheek.

That familiar, spectacular smile did my poor, battered heart good. She blew me yet another kiss before opening the door.

“Bailey?” I looked into her eyes. “Everything will be all right. I promise.”

She did a mock salute and left the room.

Relief washed over me. That ease of heart balm to my soul lasted about thirty seconds.

She’d left the roses.

The nagging tightness in my chest returned. Did she want to postpone because she doubted me now? Because of Melissa? Her concern for my health was obvious, but did she truly forgive me? Hadn’t we just recounted the path to our love? What woman leaves a dozen roses behind?

I reached for the phone on the nightstand and dialed up Toppy. “Hey, could you please bring me some clothes? Also, my laptop and a cheeseburger.” Starving. That had to be a good sign.

“Nix on the cheeseburger, for sure, but I’ll bring you some clothes. Your shaving kit, too. That hair scared me last time I saw you.”

“You got that right. I caught a glimpse of something right out of a horror movie in the mirror. I’m kidding about the cheeseburger. I probably won’t get to eat too many of those in the future. You’ll have to learn to cook something healthy.” Ugh, rabbit food. But I’d do it for Bailey.

“Did you get everything worked out with that fiancée of yours? I had no idea you hadn’t told her about Melissa. She mad about that?”

“Not anymore. I don’t think so, anyway.” I glanced at the neglected bouquet of roses. “But she wants to postpone the wedding until I’m Superman again.” At least I hoped that was the real reason. If only she’d taken the flowers.

“I see.” Toppy’s breathing punctuated those two little words.

“Uncle Tops, you still there?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Breathing.

“What? You don’t actually agree with her? You think we should postpone the wedding?” Good grief. Had everyone gone mad?

“I don’t know.” Coughing.

“Toppy, you’re supposed to agree with me. You know I can handle it. You are supposed to say, ‘What? No way, you two should go on with your plans.’”

“OK. What. No way. You two should go on with your plans,” he repeated in the voice of a robot.

“Thanks a lot.” I considered hanging up on him.

“Just kidding, son, but you should get used to people loving you and wanting the best for you. What’s another month or two anyway?”

Seriously? Didn’t everyone understand that every day not married to that woman was a wasted day? The thought faded when it registered that Toppy had called me ‘son’. Squirt, Chub, and other endearing monikers as I grew up, but he’d never called me ‘son’. It was a nice feeling. I had someone to call ‘Mom’ now as well if she wasn’t mad at me.

“I’m well aware how much I’m loved. I’m overwhelmed by it sometimes. It’s just that I know I’ll be all right. I want Bailey to know I can take care of her.”

“She seems like a pretty independent woman to me. She’s looking for a partner, not a supervisor. I know what you mean, though. Listen, this whole thing is tough. You’re used to being in control, on top of things. Just relax and let us all take care of things for a bit. Bailey won’t think any less of you because you had a heart attack.”

It was so hard to explain. Of course she was a strong woman. That was one of the things I loved about her. But I wanted to protect her, provide for her, make her feel safe. I wanted her to look at me now the way that she used to, with admiration and respect. Now she only looked at me with fear and pity. I couldn’t stand it.

“Have you dozed off, Scott? Still there?”

“Yeah. Well, if you’ll bring my clothes and things, I’d really appreciate it.”

“You got it. Scott, I was wondering.”

I waited. “OK, wondering what?”

“What you’d think if Gwen and I dated.” He went into a fit of coughing and throat clearing.

Whoa, what was going on around here? How did I not see that coming? That was probably Bailey’s big secret. “I think it’s terrific. She’s great. Pretty, too, like her daughter.” I scanned through the last five years in my mind since Aunt Kathleen died. I couldn’t remember him ever having a girlfriend.

“Do you think Bailey will mind?” Toppy’s seriousness amused me.

“Of course not, she thinks the world of you. Does Bailey know?” I loved having something to think about besides myself. Awesome.

“She does now.”

“Oh, so you’ve asked her out already?”

“Actually, we’ve been seeing each other for a while. We just didn’t want to take away from the wedding. We were trying to keep it under wraps for a little while longer.”

Another reason for me to get well. I disliked the thought that I held up my uncle’s romance, and life in general, and my own wedding.

“I’ll see you in about an hour, Scott.” He hung up.

Come on, nursing staff. Send somebody in here to get this show on the road.

With nothing else to do, I let my thoughts wander. The fact that Bailey didn’t take her roses home nagged. She had seen me at my worst. Was she having second thoughts? The scent of the roses surrounded and mocked me. Maybe I wasn’t the man she needed anymore. These mood changes annoyed me. I couldn’t imagine what it did to everyone else. Gotta get a grip.

Bailey stuck her head in the door. That smile chased away the blues. “Hey, you.” She blew me a kiss.

“Hey, yourself. You forgot something, didn’t you?” Surely she’d returned for her roses. All that inner turmoil for nothing.

“Oh, yeah. Actually they brighten up this room. We’ll just bring them home when you’re released. I just wanted to say that I love you, and that I took the liberty of going through the mail. You’ve got some bills due. If I bring you your checkbook, will you sign a few and let me get that taken care of?” She stayed by the door obviously ready to go and do my job for me.

“I can do that when I get home. No need for you to concern yourself. Just manage that wedding.” The IV lines and hospital bed felt like a prison. I had to get out of there.

“But I don’t mind, and you don’t want to get behind. You don’t want a lot of stuff hanging over your head when you get home and are trying to recuperate. I’ll just run back by with the checkbook in a bit.” She tapped her impatient fingers on the door.

“Look, Bailey. I said don’t worry about it.” I pushed up in the bed as straight as I could get. Good grief. “I don’t need your help with my work. Is that the way our life will be? You taking over everything?” My heart pounded.

Her shoulders slumped, and her smile faded. The pity in her expression pushed me over the top.

“What are you looking at?” The anger in my voice surprised me but didn’t deter me. “Go home and do your job, and leave my business to me!”

She pulled her lips in, probably trying to keep from responding. It would have helped if she’d just let me have it. But instead she lowered her head. A tear dropped to the floor. “Ok. I’m sorry.” She left without looking at me. The door swooshed shut.

Just kill me now. The dictionary fairies were probably adding my name next to ‘jerk.’ What the heck was wrong with me? My anger deflated and replaced my heart with one giant, black sense of regret. At least no one was there to see me cry like a baby. How could I? After all she’d done for me! She’d single-handedly revved up visibility of my businesses, brought the life and love back to my mother’s inn, and taken on my burdens as her own. What’s more, she loved me. I began to wonder why.

I looked at the bouquet of blasted roses. A lone petal dropped off and twirled as it fell to the floor.

No maybe to it. I wasn’t the man she needed anymore. God help me.