The Ruler has an ex-husband!
The world has obviously gone wacko. Next thing I know, they’ll be serving chocolate burgers and red licorice fries for lunch at the school cafeteria.
The Ruler explained everything. Including how the flowers I originally thought were from Josh were actually from her hippie ex-husband and for her.
Despite my reeling brain and extreme exhaustion, I drag myself to school. No one even notices the dark circles under my eyes. Not one friend. Not one teacher. Not one custodian.
Junie texts me back right before first period. Finally. Zippity-quick we plan two sleuthing field trips for after school. At this time, I will have a friendly-but-firm chat with her about the importance of returning texts in a timely fashion + successful detecting.
I don’t see Josh at lunch because it’s pizza day for the team on the pool deck. I don’t see Junie at lunch because it’s pizza day for the robotics team in The Ruler’s math room. I sit with my sandwiches in the lunch area across from boy-crazy Brianna, who basically babbles for the entire forty minutes. I yawn five times.
Then I yawn my way through my afternoon classes. Finally, after what feels like foreverland, the longest last period in Saguaro Middle School history comes to a boring end. Junie and I meet by the giant saguaro statue and hightail it to the bus stop.
“Junie, so much junk has happened since yesterday.” Luckily, I can walk and talk and suck back sour Gummi Worms all at the same time. I fill her in on the meanness of the stalker and the mysterious silver-box business.
By the time I’m done reporting, Junie’s eyes are big and round like large pizzas.
“That’s not all.” I pick out an orange Gummi Worm. “The Ruler has an ex-husband. He’s a hippie with a ponytail who really takes flower power to a whole new level.” And I tell her about his crazy flower deliveries. And how he and The Ruler got married super young, but it didn’t work out. “Last week’s bouquet was for their anniversary. This morning he brought her birthday bouquet.”
Now Junie’s eyes are the size of extra-large pizzas. Which calls attention to her eyeliner. That she’s wearing for the first time ever in her life.
I’ll get Josh to find out how Eric feels about Junie.
“What does your dad think?” Junie asks.
“He probably doesn’t like it. Although the flowers aren’t really personal. The hippie gives them to all sorts of people in his life. It’s his way of spreading love and peace in the world.” I make a peace sign with my fingers. “The Ruler was planning to tell him to stop. But he said today that he’s moving to a commune in Northern California with his girlfriend”—I nibble—“and won’t be able to keep up with the flower thing when he’s out of state ’cause it’d be too expensive.”
Junie reaches for the bag of Gummis.
“Why didn’t The Ruler tell you the anniversary flowers were really for her?” Junie says.
“She was embarrassed because I didn’t even know she had an ex.” The bus arrives and we climb on. “And then it got all messed up because I thought they were from Josh. Plus I’d taken the card.”
“You get involved with the weirdest things, Sherry.” Junie shakes her head.
“No kidding.” I choose a yellow worm.
“Your mom really thinks an amethyst will protect us?” Junie says. “Because this guy sounds like a jerk.”
“Tell me about it.” I point to the scratches on my legs from the tumbleweed. “I’m just hoping I don’t scar.”
“The amethyst?” Junie prompts.
“Yeah, yeah, she thinks it’ll work.” I wave a Gummi. “Those necklaces you saw at Brittani’s Baubles were on sale, right?” It’s not easy being a detective on a mini allowance.
Junie nods. “I hope they still have some.” She pulls out a blue and green worm, her fave.
When we’re in our seats, I say, “By the way, what’s the deal with not getting back to me last night?”
Junie’s face closes up like a sea anemone. “Nothing.”
“Excuse me? I send you a text saying the stalker is a ghost, and you don’t even respond till this morning? Not even a text back accusing me of being nutzoid?”
“Fine.” Junie hmpfs. “My parents took my phone away for the evening.”
Well, just toss me out the bus window and run me over. I cannot even remember the last time Junie got in trouble.
“I went over my text limit,” she says.
“With who? Your cell plan has more texts than mine.”
Junie does this cartoony shifty-eyed look.
It’s like sometimes when you’re watching a suspense movie and, all of a sudden, it’s clear as a cloudless Arizona sky just who the bad guy is. Well, I suddenly know who Junie’s texting. “Nerdy Nick? There’s that much robotics junk to text about?”
“You think everyone with Bs, As and a haircut is nerdy.” Junie’s eyes flash with anger.
I have no answer to that because, well, that is pretty much the universally accepted definition of “nerd.” At Saguaro Middle School, anyway. But because I so don’t like my best friend to be mad at me, I say, “You obviously know him better than I do. From robotics and all. If you tell me he’s not a nerd, I believe it.”
“Really, Sherry?” Junie’s eyes flash again, but with excitement this time. “He’s actually a nice guy. Knowledgeable, helpful, smart.”
And there you have it: he is nerdy. “Don’t forget mean. He makes mega mean comments to me.”
Junie crosses her arms. “I’d say the mean comments are mutual.”
I twirl a few strands of hair around my index finger, mulling this over. “You might be right.”
Junie smiles. “Try being nicer to him. You’ll see how he grows on you.”
Like fungus. I bite my tongue before the words escape. “Have you thought about pursuing Eric?”
“Uh, no, he’s still not my type.”
“But, Junie, we’d have so much fun double-dating.”
Fine. I can take a hint.
The bus rumbles to a stop, and we hop down and head across the mall parking lot. At the entrance, I yank on the chrome door handle. Then, arm in arm, Junie and I traipse down the hall, past our usual stops, like Video World and Corndogs R Us and Sequins.
We march into Brittani’s Baubles. Two teens with a mission. A mission to stay safe from an evil ghost. Fashionably.
Brittani’s is all narrow aisles and stuff dangling off hooks every which way. As in not the roomiest, most organized accessory store you’ll ever shop in. But it does have good prices. Junie and I beeline to the sale wall and start pawing through the necklaces.
“I found one!” Junie holds up a dainty silver chain with a purple stone the size of a walnut. Frowning, she bounces the necklace in her palm. “It’s tackier than I remembered.”
“Tacky?” Junie does not know her gemstones. I twirl the chain in the air, letting the amethyst spin. “See how it sparkles and shines? That’s the sign of classy costume jewelry.”
“Do you really think The Ruler will wear it?” Junie doesn’t sound convinced.
“If I gave The Ruler a stone from the school parking lot taped to a piece of string, she’d wear it,” I say. “So something this cute? Of course she’ll wear it. Every day of the week.”
We poke through the bazillion necklaces hanging from the bazillion hooks. And manage to scrounge up two more. One for Junie, one for The Ruler, one for me.
At the cash register, I hand the girl my money and make sure she stamps my Brittani’s Baubles frequent shopper card. Only one more purchase to go till I get a free bracelet. It pays to shop cheap.
We slip on our necklaces and march back to the bus stop. On to our second field trip. The dangerous one.