A Young Man After God’s Own Heart

That’s what I often heard from my dad, who lived by this slogan as a soldier and fought in Germany during World War II. But a generation later, as I sat in a classroom at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, I was hearing it again…and beginning to feel the full force of the words, “War is hell!”

How did I come to be sitting in a military briefing room at Fort Bragg? My Army Reserve unit was called up for active duty during the Bosnian crisis in the 1990s. We were on our way to Germany to take over the duties of a regular Army hospital unit that had been deployed to the battlefront in Bosnia.

So there I sat, receiving a combat briefing. I was listening to instructors lecture on land mines, snipers, mortar attacks, chemical warfare, and other extreme threats. It was clear that the Army wanted our group to be prepared for any and every kind of danger we might face in battle.

Living the Christian life is a battle, too! (And if you don’t think so, then you just might not be living the Christian life very successfully!) As we’ve already noted, Jesus Himself told us, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). That trouble for us men comes in a variety of packages. And, like my Army instructors, God wants us to prepare for the inevitable battle…which takes us back to chapters 1–5 of this book. As you might remember, these first five chapters covered the importance of properly preparing yourself to handle the priorities in your life. One of those priorities is being ready to face and defend yourself against the temptations the enemy will throw at you.

Most of us don’t need to make a list of the temptations we struggle with every day, do we? Hopefully, your list is a short one. But as you mature and are exposed to more of the world and its sinful allurements, your list of temptations will probably expand greatly.

In the Bible, God gives us His take on what we can look forward to as we do battle with temptation and sin. Galatians 5:19 starts us off by informing us that “the acts of the sinful nature are obvious”—and then the list reads:

…sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin (Galatians 5:19-21).¹¹

Pretty awful, isn’t it? So how in the world can a young man after God’s own heart get a handle on these temptations and fight the battle against them? The fact that you are concerned at all is the first step in fighting the battle. The second step is realizing that you have choices to make.

There are myriads of thoughts penned on the importance of choices. Have you heard this one?

Little choices determine habit;

habit carves and molds character

which makes the big decisions.

To see these truths lived out, meet two men…who made two choices…that led to two paths and two destinies.

Man #1 was Cain—the firstborn son of Adam and Eve. Cain and his brother, Abel, brought gifts to God, and they received two different responses from God. Abel and his gift were pleasing to God, but Cain and his gift were not (Genesis 4:1-8).

What happened when God judged against Cain’s gift? Cain had two choices for his response—he could either come before God and humbly ask forgiveness for himself and the nature of his gift, or he could become angry with God because of the rejection.

Unfortunately, Cain chose the less noble response. He became angry with God. God then warned Cain about his wrong attitude and its potential consequences by saying, “Sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it” (verse 7).

Two men, two choices, two paths. What wrong choice did Man #1 make? Cain chose to allow sin to master him and failed the test for handling temptation God’s way. His jealousy toward his brother Abel and God’s acceptance of Abel’s gift caused him to sink deeper into sin and ultimately to murder his brother. In the end, Cain’s inability to handle temptation disqualified him from God’s blessing and from any influence for good with his life. His choice led him down a path of destruction.

Man #2 was Jesus—who lived thousands of years after the days of Cain and Abel. This man, too, faced temptation. After 40 days of fasting, He was in a physically weakened state and was tempted by Satan in three different areas of life. With all three temptations, Jesus fought back, quoting the Word of God (Luke 4:1-12). Jesus chose to withstand the temptations. He passed the tests perfectly and walked the path of influence. By choosing the path that led to the cross, He impacted the entire world. His path led to your salvation and mine. The tale of these two men looks like this:

The choices of these two men give you and me some very sobering lessons on the importance of dealing with temptation and sin. (Did you notice that I put temptation before sin? Temptation is not sin. Cain was tempted—sin was “crouching at the door.” He could have chosen to resist the temptation and therefore not to sin, but he didn’t. Jesus was tempted, but did resist the many temptations.)

The pressing question is, How about you? How are you dealing with your thoughts, and your temptations? Where are your choices leading you? What direction are you headed? I’m sure you can identify with me—and all other men—in these struggles. And I’m sure you, like me, are not always pleased with the way you handle (or fail to handle!) temptation.

Take heart, my fellow struggler. God has provided a way for us to stand up under the struggle of temptation and choose to move down the path of victory. The Bible says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).

The fact of temptation is real—very real! And the good news is that God has made provision for your temptations.

First, God has provided a new law—A law is a fixed way in which things work. For instance, the law of gravity says that anything heavier than air will fall toward the earth. That means if you jump off a ten-story building, you will fall to your death. But what if there is a law that counters the law of gravity, such as the law of aerodynamics? This law allows a 747 jumbo jet, filled with hundreds of people and weighing many tons, to fly.

In the same way, when you and I come to Christ, God counters the law of sin and death—a law that gives us no choice but to die separated from Him for eternity. But when we come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, we come under the influence of a new law—the law of the Spirit of life in Christ (Romans 8:2). This new law sets us free from the bondage of sin. We now have the power of a new law to choose to resist temptation.

Second, God has provided a guide—A guide is someone or something that leads you through unfamiliar territory and keeps you from getting lost. Jesus promised He would give believers a “guide” to live in them and always be with them. That guide is the Holy Spirit, who lives in all believers and guides them into all truth (John 16:13). When you and I came to Christ, this promise of Jesus became true for us. As a result you now have your own guide—the Holy Spirit—who leads you throughout all of life and through all of the situations you will ever face.

Third, God has provided a guidebook—God has also given you your very own personal guidebook, the Bible. Everything you need to know about life and godly living is presented to you in God’s Word (2 Peter 1:3). This guidebook gives you the answers to deal with every temptation you will ever face!

Fourth, God has provided guides—God has provided other believers to help you overcome the temptations of this world. That’s why it is so important to be involved in a local church and youth group. There you can find others who can hold you accountable and guide you with wise counsel. I am personally thankful to God for the many men who have served as faithful, caring mentors to me. These “soldiers of the cross” were committed to watching over my spiritual growth on the battlefield of life.

Now, you may be saying, “But Jim, you don’t know my situation. You don’t know the pressures I’m under—pressures at school, pressures at home, and pressures from my peers. I can’t help but succumb to temptation. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to overcome these particular sins!”

Well, you’re right. I don’t know what specific issues you are struggling with. But I do know that you are not alone. Temptation is universal. The Bible says it is “common to man” (1 Corinthians 10:13). That means I can say that you and I and all men struggle with the same temptations and sins. That’s the bad news.

But the good news is that God has provided a way out, an escape and victory with these four resources—

You have the ability to withstand the temptations that confront you in your daily living. Statements of I can’t no longer apply to you. Now, in Jesus Christ, it’s I can! Paul tells us to “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power” (Ephesians 6:10).

So the next time you are faced with an opportunity to sin (like in the next millisecond!), remember, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). God has given you the I can to deal with that temptation. But you must supply the I will. It’s your choice. Your path and your character are at stake! No choice is a small choice. And no choice is a meaningless choice.

Is there a way out? As we have just seen, there is! God has provided resources to assist you in dealing with temptation and sin. But He is asking you to do your part. He is asking you to “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes” (Ephesians 6:10-11). So as you do your part, here are some practical choices you can make to fight the battle of temptation.

• Pursue godliness—This is what God is talking about when He says to “put on the full armor of God.” God’s armor will protect you in the battle when you pursue a life of godliness. “Pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace” (2 Timothy 2:22). How do you put on God’s armor? By reading your Bible, praying, worshiping with God’s people, and being accountable to your youth leaders and strong Christian friends. These are God’s resources for the battle, for war!

• Avoid places where you might be tempted—Stay away from TV programs, movies, or music that go against God’s standards or fan your sexual emotions. Stay away from magazine racks with sensual covers on display. Stay away from those who talk or brag about sin. Stay away from being alone with someone of the opposite sex. Paul’s advice to his young disciple is very appropriate for you and me, too: “Flee the evil desires of youth” (2 Timothy 2:22).

• Avoid people who might tempt you—In the last chapter we discussed choosing the right kind of best friends—those who will pull you up or along. But I didn’t mention that there is a third kind of “friend.” This kind of friend is one you need to avoid like the plague! You must avoid having the kind of friend who “pulls you down.” Be careful of buddies from the past and friends in the present who have a lower standard than you want for your life.

The Christian life is hard enough to live without this type of person in your life. So do yourself a favor and drop these kinds of friends, especially if you aren’t strong enough to resist their low standards. God said it best…and to the point: “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

• Avoid allowing your eyes to roam—Most of the temptations that you encounter come to you through your eyes and are sexual—billboards, magazines, movies, TV, and what you see at the swimming pool or on the beach—or anywhere on a hot summer day! Jesus taught that you can actually commit sexual sin in your heart by just looking at a girl or woman with lustful thoughts (Matthew 5:28). So determine to do what Job did! He actually “made a covenant with [his] eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1).

• Pursue a godly approach to dating—I told you we would eventually get back to the subject of girls, didn’t I? Well, dating is certainly a hot topic in Christian circles—do you or don’t you date? Should you or shouldn’t you date? If yes, at what age? And do you call it dating or courting? And if you do go on a date, do you go as a couple or in a group? The discussion could go on and on…and it probably will!

So let’s start by asking your parents what they think you should do. Then, let’s ask your youth leaders about dating. What do they say? And now, let me give you my “two cents” of advice to add to your decision-making process. Why not set a high standard? Why not…

—Choose not to date all the way through high school. I have made my own observations as well as asked a variety of people (teachers, youth pastors, parents, counselors) about this vital subject. And all agree that few, if any, couples who date in high school actually end up marrying each other. So what’s the point of dating? You’ve probably already noticed that most of your temptations as a young man are (and will continue to be) sexual temptations. And dating without a godly purpose has no point. All it does is take you on an emotional roller coaster ride that can end up getting you into sexual trouble.

—Choose instead to focus on group activities, preferably church activities. Use this time to observe how godly young ladies act. What is their focus? Where is their heart? (Remember, just like you are trying to choose godly guy friends, it’s vital to choose godly girls for your friends.)

—Choose to involve your parents. Ask your parents what qualities you should look for in the girl that you would eventually “date” or “court” for the purpose of marriage.

—Choose to remain morally and sexually pure, no matter what! You must make this commitment now, before you begin dating. And you must make it again and again before each date you go on (whenever you finally decide to start the dating process). Remember, this is a spiritual choice. Are you going to follow the path of the world, or Jesus?

My dear younger brother, let’s agree to fight the battle against temptation, especially sexual temptation, with our eyes wide open! You are sitting in the briefing room and this is the lecture on war—the war against temptation and sin. These are the cold hard facts: Temptation is ongoing. As long as you are alive and breathing, you will be dealing with every temptation that the enemy and the world can throw at you. The battle will rage in every area of your life for as long as you live.

The question is, Will you allow God to fight your battle for you through the resources He has given you? Or will you try to go it alone? If you try to go it alone, you will fail. I repeat, you will fail! So choose to look to God for help. You have His Word. You have His Spirit. You have the weapon of prayer. You have wise counselors and people who care about you. Through God and His arsenal of resources, the victory is yours.

Tough Decisions for Today

Just for today, monitor your thoughts and conversations. Try to pinpoint any changes that need to be made. What verses in this chapter were the most helpful to you?

Are there any areas of your life where you are failing to resist temptation? Ask God for forgiveness, and then choose to invite Him to go to battle with you in this area. Is there a more mature man who can hold you accountable? What steps can you take to ask him for help?

The Cutting Edge

Present yourself to God as one…who correctly handles the word of truth.

—2 TIMOTHY 2:15

Using your Bible, look at the following scriptures. Write what each one teaches about your physical purity and why it is important to God…and to you (caution: some have multiple answers).

1 Corinthians 6:19—

1 Corinthians 6:20; 1 Peter 1:19—

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5—

If your purity is this important to God, what are you going to do about protecting it?

Read Genesis chapter 30 about Joseph and Potiphar’s wife. Then read 2 Samuel chapter 11 about David and Bathsheba.

What do you think made the difference in the way these two men responded to sexual temptation?