| |
While Timber talked with Vega, Sierra, and Willow in the backyard of the clubhouse, Romeo stood by himself and tipped back a bottle of beer. For the last week, Timber had pretended nothing bothered her.
She hadn't asked where Dice was or if he'd seen any sight of her mother.
She was old enough to live independently, but her lack of concern over having her family split up was a foreign concept to him. Not a day went by that he wouldn't check in with his brothers and make sure everyone was okay.
The same happened at Killere. He attended meetings, went on rides, and stayed in constant contact with his patch-wearing brothers.
He wanted Timber to have a sense of belonging with him. She lived at his house and needed to feel as if it was her home, too.
She went through the movements of living with him. The house was cleaner, the laundry done before it could overflow the basket, and she'd taken over Wednesday night's dinner prep for the whole family without any argument.
She never disagreed with him. She never exhibited a difference of opinion or voiced any needs. It was as if everything was perfect the way it was going, and there was no need to change anything.
She always agreed with him. And not just with him, but with his brothers and everyone she encountered at the club. Even at the diner, she'd take over someone's shift without batting an eye.
It was as if she was trying to please him.
Her good-natured personality was starting to piss him off.
He wanted her to put her stamp on the house, on him, on her life in Spokane. She needed to find something that meant the world to her and fight for it.
He drained the rest of the beer and set the empty bottle on a nearby table. Hell, he wasn't sure he meant more to her than the great sex.
"What's got into you?" asked Big Buck.
"Nothing." He wiped his forearm across his mouth. "I'm going to take off."
"Your woman is enjoying herself." Big Buck pointed, lifting the whiskey bottle in his hand. "It'd be a shame to drag her away."
Timber was only using the others as an excuse to stay away from him. For some fucked up reason, she believed that's what he wanted. All she had to do was ask him what he wanted, and he'd tell her straight up.
He needed to know she was all in and committed to him before letting her stay much longer at the Killere parties.
He strode across the room. Timber spotted him heading toward her and stepped away from the others. She slipped her arms around him, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss him.
He pulled away without letting her go. "I want to take off."
"Okay. Let me grab my purse. I left it in the kitchen." She stepped away.
He pulled her back. "Meet me outside at the Harley."
She kissed him quickly before hurrying away. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and walked outside. Lighting the smoke, he lumbered down the steps into the darkness to wait for Timber.
He'd like to take her home and fuck the truth out of her. For once, he wanted her to be honest with him. He wanted to know what was happening between them.
He was looking at spending forever with her, and she hadn't spoken a word about how she felt.
Hell, he'd never experienced that before. Women threw themselves at him—mainly for sex. Some had wanted a relationship, but he'd made it clear that he wasn't interested.
He'd claimed Timber. She knew what he wanted. Knew what he expected. Knew what it meant to belong to him.
So why was she standing back and letting him make all the fucking decisions?
"Romeo?"
He turned around, squinting into the darkness. "Hey, Danielle."
One of the waitresses from the diner, Danielle, bounced over to him. "What are you doing outside?"
"Having a smoke?"
"Share?"
He held up the cigarette. Instead of taking it from him, Danielle put her lips around the filter and sucked while he held the cig. He'd had sex with Danielle before when she first started working for Killere—it was good. She knew how to use her mouth.
She tilted her head up and exhaled a stream of smoke up into the air. He watched her lips relax and a smile grace her face. None of the women would care if he had claimed another woman, even one they worked with at the diner.
Except, he wasn't interested in what Danielle offered.
Someone cleared their throat. He looked to his left and found Timber standing there, clutching her purse. He took in the solemn expression. The flat line of her mouth. The inexpressive gaze. Was she unbothered by him standing with another woman?
He brought his hand to his mouth and put the cigarette between his lips. "Ready?"
Someone falling in love with him would react to finding him with another woman. There would be glances exchanged, silent questions thrown about. Timber should be ready to tear Danielle's hair out by the roots, depending on how he handled the situation.
Hell, if he found her alone with a man, he would kill the motherfucker.
Timber nodded and moved to the back of the Harley without questioning him about what he was doing with Danielle. He lifted his chin toward the clubhouse and motioned Danielle to go inside before stepping over to his Harley.
He waited for Timber to hang her purse across her body. Then he got on the motorcycle. She climbed on behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle as if everything was okay. He started the bike and rode away from the clubhouse.
His brothers would be home. He wasn't ready to go there. There were things he had to say to Timber that was better done when they were alone.
Taking the exit before his normal route home, he opened the throttle on the side road that followed the interstate until he took the street going downtown. It took him ten minutes to find his way to Huntington Park. He hadn't been there since he was a kid, running around and causing trouble.
He parked the Harley and toed the kickstand. Timber slid off and stood beside the bike, looking over her shoulder.
The noise of the rushing water falling over Spokane Falls deafened him to anything she had to say. He held out his hand. She stepped around the motorcycle and clasped his fingers.
He led her along the walkway and stopped before he reached the soaker area where the spray from the water splashed observers.
That late at night, there weren't many people wandering around. A couple, here and there, caught up in their world, unaware of him with Timber, passed without any notice.
Timber stepped up to the railing and grabbed the metal barrier. He stood behind her, bringing her back until she leaned against the front of him.
He had no idea why he brought her here. It was impossible to talk with the noise of the water. The deafening roar surrounded them.
Several lights filtered through the night, lighting up the rushing water. Timber shivered. He wrapped his arms tighter around her and leaned his head down. "Are you too cold?"
She shook her head. He hardened behind her. It was impossible not to feel her body against him and know what it felt like to slide his dick inside her pussy.
She turned in his arms and stretched to her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Pulling him down, she shouted, "What is this place?"
"Spokane Falls. River. Dam." He pointed. "There's a bridge over there people can walk across."
"It's beautiful," she mouthed.
Though he knew what she'd said, he said, "What?"
"It's beautiful."
He lifted his hand and cupped his ear, pretending not to have heard her.
She frowned and yelled, "It's beautiful."
Finally, she'd raised her voice loud enough to please him. He shouted back, "When you have something to say..." He pointed his finger back and forth between them. "I want you to say it. Fucking yell at me if it's important to you."
She ducked her chin and stepped away from him. He turned, following her with his gaze. She looked over her shoulder and kept walking, distancing herself from him. Curious to know where she was going, he followed. She gazed back at him every few steps, making sure he was still there.
Timber took him back to his Harley. He sat down on the seat. When she moved to get on behind him, he tagged her wrist and picked her up, setting her on the tank in front, facing him.
It was quieter here. The thrum of the falls in the distance set the mood, giving them a false sense of security.
She looked everywhere but at him. He cupped her face, forcing her to meet his eyes. His chest pounded.
"What's wrong?" She tried to shake her head, but he stopped her. "Say what's wrong."
"You're mad." She never blinked. Her gaze centered on his nose. She wouldn't meet his eyes.
He'd excused her quietness and submissiveness as part of her age. She was quite a bit younger than him and less experienced.
But she was sexually open to him in the dark. She kept nothing back. If she wanted to feel good, she had no problem telling him where to touch her or taking the initiative and doing what she liked.
He thought she was done with the shy routine. She got along with his brothers. But ever since she found out about her grandfather, she'd pulled back.
"Are you always this laidback?" He tilted his head to get a better look at her in the darkness. "Are you going to be okay when I fuck other women or don't come home for days?" He held her in front of him, not letting her step back when she tried to move away. "I live a rough life, doll. I work hard, play dirty, and expect my woman to battle me head to head for what she wants. I don't want a woman who is going to stand at the side and let me walk all over her. That's not what I'm about. Over and over again, I see you doing whatever the fuck I ask of you without an opinion of your own."
"I don't—"
"You wanted to go back to the house after work, and I told you to meet me at the clubhouse instead. You changed your mind without an argument."
"I don't argue." She pushed against him. "I don't want to talk about this."
"You're going to talk." He latched her hands behind her back, keeping her encircled in his arms. "You have no problem speaking up to the truckers at the diner, but you won't speak up to me."
"I talk with you."
"You don't speak up." He paused. "There's a difference, and you know it."
She stared at his chest, refusing to talk. He wouldn't let her slide back to shrugging off his concerns. When she came to his house the first time, she was quiet as a mouse. Now she joined in on the teasing and the laughter, making the house a home for not only him but each of his brothers.
"Do you want to be my woman?" he asked.
She raised her gaze. "Yes."
"Why?"
Dice claimed she was broken. He was determined to prove otherwise.
She shook her head, trying to reach up and kiss him. He stopped her from touching him. She wasn't going to distract him. He needed to know the truth.
"Do you like me?" He cupped her face, forcing her to look at him. "Are you falling in love with me? Or, are you just enjoying the moment, doll? Are you fucking me to get a roof over your head? Are you with me because I'm taking care of you? Do I take care of you the way you always wanted Dice to take care of you? Is that it, Timber? Am I part of a sick game where you—"
"Stop." She whimpered.
He wasn't going to let her get off that easy. "I could've had Danielle tonight. I could've taken her right in front of you. You wouldn't have said shit about it. You would've stood there watching me fuck another woman."
"No." She squirmed, trying to get away from him.
He refused to let her get off the Harley. "No? What would you do? Run? Is that what you'd do? You'd run away like your mom runs away? Like Dice runs away?"
"Stop." She grunted, pushing against him.
He grabbed her upper arms. "What scares you, huh? Do I scare you?"
"Yes," she yelled, shaking uncontrollably.
He let go of her and backed away. She reached for him before stopping herself. Shoulders hunched, she hugged her middle, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Everything scares me. I'm afraid I'll never be enough for you. That someday, you'll look at me and walk away like everyone else has in my life." Her voice cracked. "I care about you more than I should. I tried to stop because it hurts."
He stilled.
"I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. I go around believing you'll kick me out of the house any minute or worse. You'll ghost me." She sucked in air. "It's easier if I don't say anything. It doesn't hurt as much. I can pretend I'll never lose you completely because there's always a chance you'll come back to me." She gasped. "You'll come back to me."
Jesus Fucking Christ.
She'd grown up with her parents coming and going, leaving her for long periods. She never had a choice. Her parents kept her moving and hid her away from Sparrows, fearful of her grandfather hurting her. She never understood why her childhood was fucked up. She thought it was her fault, so she stopped letting herself feel. She stopped fighting back. She stopped questioning. She stopped being herself because she tried so damn hard to hold on to her parents.
He wasn't even sure she understood what she was doing to herself. What she was doing to him.
"Doll..." he whispered.
She shook her head. "I'm not perfect. I know that, but isn't there a small part of you that wants me?"
His chest ached. "More than a small piece of me wants you, Timber. I want you in my life, by my side, for the rest of my days. You're so damn scared of losing me, you haven't seen that I've fallen in love with you."
"I don't want you to leave me," she whispered.
He stepped up to her, breathing hard. "That's what I need from you, doll. You keep your heart open, and I swear on my life, I'll be gentle and cherish it until I die."
"You're not mad?"
He groaned, the pain of needing her more than he could contain. "I love you."
"You do?" She sniffled.
He palmed the side of her neck and kissed her softly, holding his lips against her mouth, soaking her in. Her pulse beat erratically under his palm. She was scared shitless about losing him that she was protecting herself in the only way she knew how.
He pulled back. "I" He kissed her again. "Love." He rubbed his lips against hers. "You."
She sagged against him, inhaling deeply. Her lips caressed his mouth every time he touched her. "I love you, too."