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MARGE THOUGHT DOLLY was going to jump from the Wienermobile after they had that near collision. She probably would have had a heart attack if she’d known it was her nephew’s car they’d almost slammed into. Lucky for them Ida Belle won the coin toss and drove. Marge was a skilled stunt driver, having to make hasty retreats with her Army Jeep during many a harried covert operation, but no one could finesse a big vehicle like her friend Ida Belle.
“I think I’d like to go home now,” Dolly said, her face tinged with green.
“Oh, of course,” Marge said, giving Dolly a reassuring pat on her back. Ida Belle had always said her calm interrogator manner was chilling, but only because she knew what was coming. For Dolly, though, it was reassuring, and she sighed in relief.
“Ida Belle, honey,” Marge said, adding the ‘honey’ to let Ida Belle know it was time to go full force, “why don’t you find a place ahead to turn around. I think this road is too much for Miss Dolly. Her face has taken on an ugly shade of green.”
“You’re such a good girl,” Dolly whispered to Marge. “I always liked you the best of the three.”
“That’s sweet to hear,” Marge whispered back.
“Will do,” Ida Belle replied. “So did you ask her the question I wanted?”
“Well, I don’t know,” Marge said. “She’s pretty shaken from the drive.”
“I think you should,” Ida Belle said. Marge could tell she’d just increased the speed.
“What is it?” Dolly asked.
Marge sighed. “Ida Belle has this thought that you may know something about the baseball cap worn by Wade Guillory’s killer.”
A look of panic crossed her face. “What would give her that idea?”
“Well, let’s recap. A killer runs into the woods after killing Mr. Guillory. The woods between your house and the crime scene. He had a baseball cap on, then didn’t, which suggests he dropped it. Again, behind your house. We couldn’t find the hat when we went searching for it. Then you left a baseball cap out for Gertie Hebert’s grandmother and then asked for it back. And then last night someone tried to steal it.”
“All coincidence,” she said. “That’s my brother’s cap. I left it out to take to the post office.”
“But it was in a bag, not in a mailing box,” Marge said. “You see how that’s a little odd? And why leave it outside? Ida Belle thinks maybe you left it behind your house for the killer to pick up, but Gertie’s granny picked it up by mistake.”
The Wienermobile’s speed ticked up a notch.
“Why is she going faster?” Dolly asked, her face abandoning green and now going white.
“Ida Belle, honey,” Marge said, calmly. “What’s with the Wienermobile?”
“I’m having a hard time regulating the speed,” Ida Belle answered. “Sometimes the gas pedal seems to stick.”
“Tell her to put on the brakes and stop!”
“She gets a little touchy when you tell her how to drive,” Marge said. “Don’t worry, though, she’s very skilled. Remember how she sped around that car? What was the driver thinking, slowing down like that? We could have smacked right into him.” Marge clapped her hands for emphasis.
Dolly flinched. “Don’t remind me of it.”
“Let’s just chat and take your mind off things, okay? So getting back to the cap. You know what really bugs Ida Belle,” Marge said, whispering, “is how the burglar knew where it was. Gertie watched through the kitchen window and he went right to it. Right where you told her Granny Magoo to leave it. Odd, don’t you think?”
“No, not odd,” she said quickly.
Marge looked at Ida Belle, then back at Dolly. “Do you know Buster Bussey?”
Dolly sputtered. “I... I...”
Ida Belle swerved to the right, knocking Dolly against Marge.
“Yes!” she said. “Everybody does.”
“But some people pay him to lie for them. Dolly, I’m going to be honest with you. I spoke to Buster Bussey.”
Ida Belle increased the speed and swerved again.
“I never paid him to kill Wade,” Dolly blurted out. “Did he say that?”
Now they were getting somewhere, Marge thought. She leaned into Dolly. “Dolly, did you kill Wade Guillory then ask Buster to cast suspicion on my Aunt Louanne?”
Her eyes widened. “Buster’s an idiot!” Dolly slapped her hand over her mouth to prevent herself from spilling more beans. She then removed it and said, “I was home watching The Birds when Wade was killed. Honest!”
“Are you sure you were watching The Birds?” Marge asked.
Dolly nodded. “My favorite movie. It always makes me laugh. I love that last scene with the cat!”
“Dolly,” Marge whispered to her, “The Birds isn’t a comedy.”
Ida Belle increased the speed on the Wienermobile. “I think I’m losing control! If you feel like confessing anything to your maker, now would be the time!”
Dolly screamed.
Marge leaned into Dolly’s ear and whispered. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to confess? Confession is good for the soul. Especially at times like these.”
Dolly swallowed. “We told Buster to make it sound like he saw Bonnie Cotton outside the house. But Buster’s stupid and said he saw a woman leave in a convertible. Bonnie sold her convertible a few days ago, so Sheriff Lee just assumed it was Louanne Boudreaux because she drives one. But that wasn’t our fault. Honest, we never meant to point the finger at your Aunt Louanne. We told Buster to specifically say it was Bonnie. Is it our fault he’s stupid?”
Marge smiled. She just got Dolly to confess that she had an accomplice. Now she needed Dolly to say it was her nephew, Gill. “Are you sure you didn’t do this by yourself? Buster didn’t mention anyone else, Dolly.”
“What? I’m not going to take all the blame!” Dolly directed her words up toward the ceiling of the Wienermobile. “I wasn’t alone in this, Lord! You saw him. He went there that night, same as me.” She looked back at Marge. “But it was an accident!” Dolly looked toward the ceiling again. “And we only shot him in his foot, Lord! You know that as well as I do. How could you let it kill him? How could you do this to me?”