1 ‘He bent a firm, gentle look’: Intimate Memoirs, p. 245
2 ‘everlasting loneliness’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 129
3 ‘protested strongly’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 251
4 ‘a memory rushed back … destructive’: Suppressed Memoirs, pp. 157–8
5 ‘For the first time’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 161
6 ‘That damn bitch of Dr Sherman’s’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 198
7 ‘I could never overcome’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 131
8 ‘some strong solution’: Intimate Memories, p. 301
9 ‘ghastly secret things’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 131
10 ‘often wished one of those old men’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 138
11 ‘I have a very bad Oedipus complex’: Corresponding Lives, p. 51
12 ‘family secret’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 26
13 ‘My father’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 30
14 ‘had to have’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 52
15 ‘If you ever so much’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 105 and endnote p. 211
16 ‘We have injured one another’: Suppressed Memoirs, p. 128
17 Consumption shaped New Mexico: see Nancy Owen Lewis, Chasing the Cure in New Mexico: Tuberculosis and the Quest for Health (University of New Mexico Press, 2016)
18 ‘Mabel marched in and packed her up’: Mabel, p. 190
19 And Frieda asked Mabel: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 105
20 ‘to the very worst climates’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 129
21 ‘It was like the end of the world’: Kangaroo, p. 349
22 ‘a dynamo’: Carl Van Vechten, Peter Whiffle (Alfred A. Knopf, 1922), p. 163
23 ‘You don’t know your floor’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 73
24 ‘half-distressed and half-amused’: Lorenzo in Taos, pp. 73–4
25 ‘our fingers touched in the soap-suds’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 71
26 ‘A woman is a woman’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 74
27 ‘the first reaction on me of America itself’: Letters, 28 November 1922
28 ‘nightmares’: Studies in Classic American Literature, p. lii
29 ‘The Perfectibility Of Man’: ‘Benjamin Franklin’, p. 20
30 ‘Americanising’: Letters, 11 November 1922
31 ‘sharper, quicker’: Letters, 19 November 1922
32 ‘I AM HE … CHUFFFF!’: ‘Whitman’ (1921–2), in Studies in Classic American Literature, pp. 421–2
33 ‘You may think them too violent now’: Letters, 28 November 1922
34 ‘Paolo and Francesca’: Letters, 14 November 1922
35 ‘put down exactly’: Ezra Pound, ‘Patria Mia: V’, New Age, vol. 11, no. 23 (3 October 1912), pp. 539–40
36 ‘a sort of double meaning’: ‘The Spirit of Place’ (final version), in Studies in Classic American Literature, pp. 14–15
37 ‘nice-as-pie’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Nathaniel Hawthorne and The Scarlet Letter’, in Studies in Classic American Literature, p. 81
38 ‘Never trust the artist’: ‘The Spirit of Place’ (final version), p. 14
39 ‘It is love that causes’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Edgar Allan Poe’, p. 69
40 ‘He died wanting more love’: ‘Edgar Allan Poe’, p. 80
41 ‘from her head’: Knut Merrild, A Poet and Two Painters: A Memoir of D. H. Lawrence (Routledge, 1938), p. 36
42 ‘not physically attractive to women … – like that!’: Lorenzo in Taos, pp. 90–1
43 ‘was hopelessly empty’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 99
44 ‘We have to go on, on, on’: ‘Herman Melville’s Moby Dick’, p. 146
45 ‘The greatest seer’: ‘Herman Melville’, p. 288
46 ‘The greatest seer and poet of the sea for me’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, in Studies in Classic American Literature, p. 122
47 ‘This is thy body’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 125
48 ‘At first you are put off by the style’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 133
49 ‘hunted, hunted’: ‘Herman Melville’s Moby Dick’, p. 146
50 ‘white as lard’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 183
51 ‘found Paradise’: Raymond Weaver, Herman Melville: Mariner and Mystic (G. H. Doran, 1921), p. 250
52 ‘the inmost leaf … a crabbed and darkly’: Mariner and Mystic, pp. 323–4
53 ‘volcanic in energy’: Mariner and Mystic, p. 28
54 ‘was so much greater than the man’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 134
55 ‘hated the world’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 126
56 ‘But I should not have been happy’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 126
57 ‘No more Typees’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 131
58 ‘Poor Melville!’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, p. 128
59 ‘pin ourselves … That is life’: ‘Herman Melville’s Typee and Omoo’, pp. 128–9
60 ‘a snake and poison and a sick man’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 113
61 ‘will had been defeated’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 113
62 ‘She wants to bully me’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 30
63 ‘To quote Lawrence’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 89
64 ‘enjoying the deep forceful’: A Poet and Two Painters, pp. 99–100
65 ‘When I think of it now’: A Poet and Two Painters, pp. 101–2
66 ‘going off the stage’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 143
67 ‘So there you are’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 173,
68 ‘the most disinterested’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. xvii
69 ‘underdeveloped, athletically speaking’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 208
70 ‘hermaphrodite’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 208
71 ‘a rotten, false, self-conscious’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 134
72 ‘I wish now to break the connection’: Letters, 3 February 1923
73 ‘Mountsier didn’t believe’: Letters, 7 February 1923
74 ‘Feel as if old moorings’: Letters, 2 February 1923
75 ‘I don’t feel angry’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 112
76 ‘Lawrence was theatre’: Journey with Genius, p. 63
77 ‘bony, pinched, pigeon-breasted’: A Poet and Two Painters, p. 206
78 ‘a lake-city, like Mexico’: Aaron’s Rod, p. 288
79 ‘strain on the nerves’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Au Revoir, USA’, in Mornings in Mexico and Other Essays, p. 131
80 ‘some written “history”’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 253
81 ‘grovelled’: Journey with Genius, p. 46
82 ‘gruesome’: Letters, 28 March 1923
83 ‘same old dragon’s blood’: ‘Au Revoir, USA’, p. 132
84 ‘vibrations in the ether’: ‘The Spirit of Place’ (first version), p. 173
85 ‘I hear Mabel married Tony’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 114
86 ‘I would never venture seriously to judge’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 273
87 ‘“Really!” Mr. May seemed smitten’: The Lost Girl, p. 250
88 ‘Your world must have come tumbling … In my head ’: Letters, 30 May 1923
89 ‘The Indians will save’: New Woman, New Worlds, p. 183
90 ‘Did I feel a twinge’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Surgery for the Novel – or a Bomb’, in Phoenix I, p. 520
91 ‘I should never be able to write’: Letters, 21 April 1921
92 ‘full dazzling gold … life withheld ’: D. H. Lawrence, The Plumed Serpent, ed. L. D. Clark (Cambridge University Press, 1987), p. 87
93 ‘Chapala paradise’: Letters, 1 May 1923
94 ‘began to slant downward’: Journey with Genius, p. 31
95 ‘With the tongue of a singing serpent’: Journey with Genius, p. 135
96 ‘catch the spirit’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘America, Listen to Your Own’, New Republic, 15 December 1920, p. 69
97 ‘real novel of America’: Letters, 15 June 1923
98 ‘establish a system’: D. H. Lawrence, Quetzalcoatl, ed. N. H. Reeve (Cambridge University Press, 2011), p. 218
99 ‘skipping, butting’: Quetzalcoatl, pp. 319, 320, 324
100 ‘No … my new novel has nothing’: Letters, 19 August 1923
101 ‘red’: Quetzalcoatl, p. 312
102 ‘When I feel sick I want to go back’: Letters, 3 May 1923
103 ‘He can go to blazes’: Dying Game, p. 124
104 ‘It drove me crazy’: F. A. Lea, The Life of John Middleton Murry (Oxford University Press, 1960), pp. 177–8
105 ‘Fantasia was more than a book’: John Middleton Murry, Reminiscences of D. H. Lawrence (Henry Holt, 1933), p. 163
106 ‘I would prepare the place for him’: John Middleton Murry, Son of Woman: The Story of D. H. Lawrence (Jonathan Cape, 1931), p. 328
107 ‘I should like to stay a night’: Letters, 20 August 1923
108 ‘sixty years ago’: Letters, 24 August 1923
109 ‘knew it out of the air … saw your mother’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 117
110 ‘Peccavi, peccavi’: Letters, 19 November 1923
111 ‘may even yet be the rounding’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 119
112 ‘I submitted my will to him’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 134
113 ‘take your submission’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 120
114 ‘Don’t trouble about the Indians’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 120
115 ‘to keep an invisible thread’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 122
116 ‘the whole strange episode’: Reminiscences of D. H. Lawrence, p. 165
117 ‘the death-grey coast … Not a man left: D. H. Lawrence, ‘On Coming Home’, in Phoenix II, pp. 250–6
118 ‘chumminess’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 192
119 ‘I can’t bear it … attack everything’: Son of Woman, p. 331
120 ‘As if that weren’t what I want’: Dying Game, p. 145
121 ‘dull, heavy, mortified half-light’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Dear Old Horse: A London Letter’, no. 10, Laughing Horse (May 1924), pp. 3–6
122 ‘deaf, forty, very nice’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 130
123 ‘intelligent, witty and brilliant’: Sean Hignett, Brett: From Bloomsbury to New Mexico (Franklin Watts, 1983), p. 29
124 ‘If it were not for my painting’: Brett, p. 32
125 ‘On or about December 1910’: Virginia Woolf, Mr Bennett and Mrs Brown (The Hogarth Press, 1924), p. 4
126 ‘was not quick enough’: Brett, pp. 30–1. The section of My Long and Beautiful Journey relating to Brett’s time with Lawrence in New Mexico was published in the South Dakota Review, June 1967, pp. 11–71. The manuscript is otherwise in private hands
127 ‘ambidextrous … found out’: Brett, p. 32
128 ‘I love you so much’: Brett, p. 82
129 ‘a mild attack of malaria’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 200
130 ‘gloom – yellow air’: Letters, 17 December 1923
131 ‘I don’t belong over here’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 128
132 The host arrived late: Dorothy Brett, Lawrence and Brett: A Friendship (Lippincott, 1933), p. 21
133 “You’ll see I’m quite up to this”: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 206
134 ‘I am not a man’: Lawrence and Brett, p. 21
135 ‘murderous dislike’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 208
136 ‘Did the search, the adventure’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 210
137 ‘I like you, Lawrence’: Savage Pilgrimage, pp. 211
138 ‘Lawrence is a great man’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 209
139 ‘suddenly you put your arm’: Son of Woman, p. 388
140 ‘I love you Lorenzo’: Reminiscences of D. H. Lawrence, p. 175
141 ‘I have betrayed you’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 212
142 ‘an affair between men … detached’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 212
143 ‘I made a fool of myself’: Savage Pilgrimage, p. 213
144 ‘in a moment of vision’: Reminiscences of D. H. Lawrence, p. 171
145 ‘started attacking you’: Lawrence and Brett, p. 32
146 ‘an outpouring stream’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 131
147 ‘One’s got to put a new ripple’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 135
148 ‘The great god Pan is dead!’: Plutarch, Moralia, vol. v, trans. F. C. Babbitt (Loeb Classical Library, 1936), p. 402
149 ‘no seriousness’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 135
150 ‘We’ll laugh last’: Lorenzo in Taos, p. 128
151 ‘the ever-ready amused jeer’: Lawrence and Brett, p. 30
152 ‘pleasant devil’s voice’: Journey with Genius, p. 4
153 ‘thin man with a red beard … lightning’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘The Last Laugh’, in The Woman Who Rode Away and Other Stories (Penguin, 1950), pp. 131–47
154 ‘a man who sees Pan by daylight’: D. H. Lawrence, ‘Pan in America’, in Mornings in Mexico and Other Essays, p. 160
155 ‘The return of Lawrence is great news’: Brett, p. 135
156 ‘Thirty years ago in literary circles’: W. Somerset Maugham, Cakes and Ale; Or, the Skeleton in the Cupboard (Doubleday, 1930), pp. 331–2
157 ‘Dear Old Horse’: ‘Dear Old Horse: A London Letter’, pp. 3–6