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I wanted to hug Tess fiercely, but she wasn’t the kind of witch who liked hugs unless they were from her sister, so I refrained. But I couldn’t keep my grin off my face; my cheeks were starting to ache from how wide it was.
“I accept you as my friend,” I announced. “A long time coming, but no grudges.”
Tess rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, too. “I accept your acceptance. Do you want to get breakfast? My stomach is about to complain.”
“As long as you let me tack on behind you as second in line,” I said as we left the cave.
“I suppose I could.”
We lapsed into companionable silence for a while as we traversed the winding tunnels toward the distant commotion of the Main. Everyone was gathering for the first meal of the day.
Then I ventured, “When you do see your goal on the horizon, Tess, we can be enemies. If that’s what we need to be for you to achieve your destiny, then so be it. I’ll be glad not to call you a friend if it means you can fulfill your dream. I won’t be the thing that stops you from it.”
Tess jerked to a stop and whipped around to stare at me wide-eyed. “Bas, no. I can’t ask that of you—”
“It’s okay,” I said with another grin. “You didn’t.”
I continued our path as she fell behind. A few moments later, she caught up and promptly asked, “Have you had any more dream memories lately?”
Tess had many admirable qualities. One of them was not making a fuss of things unnecessarily. The topic of our relationship didn’t need fuss. She and I were glad to move on from it.
Regardless, I was still taken aback by the question that slightly dampened my good mood. “Yes. They’ve just been Ciel’s.”
“None of Lily’s?” she asked in surprise.
“Lily?”
I looked up at Rhetta’s voice as she and Koen emerged from another joining tunnel. They were arm in arm, and she was glaring at her husband. “You’re still letting him believe that’s her name?”
My heart stopped. I stared at Koen, who wouldn’t meet it. “What?”
Rhetta was a softspoken, sweet soul but fiercely determined. Her dark history and victory painted her a hero for her bravery against her former coven, Elarian, and its leader, Tanith. When she cared about something, she defended it to her last breath. I knew how much she cared about me, and so when she reacted the way she just did, I knew it was something serious.
She wasn’t usually blunt, either, but she charged into the topic. She left Koen to take my hands into hers. “Bastian, your mother’s name isn’t Lily Hayes. It’s Maer Whisler, and she was a Moros Gladiator who was abused by Cirillo.”
Whisler. That was the last word the infamous healer Galen Shayla said to me before she passed away. Lightning zipped through my veins, sparking at my right wrist. My imbricatis glowed a faint purple, then faded too quickly for anyone else to notice. “Koen... Why did you lie to me?”
Koen looked pained. “Don’t say it like that, Bas. Everything I do, I do to protect you.”
I didn’t care that we were in the middle of a heavy-traffic section, and a few eavesdroppers were peering out from the shadows. “She’s dead,” I snapped, hating the venom in my tone, hating myself for letting anger consume my happiness like a snake eating a mouse whole. “What do you have to protect me from?!”
Koen flinched. I knew—and so did Rhetta—that he once loved Maer, and from that love came his promise to raise and, yes, protect me from all the horrors they had endured. But when she and Cirillo were gone, why continue to lie? Was it just because he hadn’t let go of that love, and it hurt him to say her name?
“Does it have something to do with her reputation in the vampire community?” I snapped. “Everyone out there wants me dead because of what they both did—whatever it was. Did you give me a fake name because if I knew it, it would invite more trouble?”
Koen’s voice was uncharacteristically grave. “Yes. Her name is a jinx, Bas. If you had known it, anyone in Redfang would have used it against you in a heartbeat.” As if I had my insecurities splayed out in front of us, Koen continued in a kinder tone, “None of it was selfish, I swear. I still miss her. I hate that you had to grow up without her. I hate that she was taken too soon by everyone who cared about her. You’re right. She did die, and I need to truly let her go by not hiding her from you anymore. That being said—”
“Breakfast first,” Rhetta interrupted, steering me away by my shoulders. “We can talk over fresh meats and milk.”
In a daze, we went to the Main, skipped the line thanks to Tess’s win, and joined the Roland family toward the back of the massive cavern. They all asked if I was okay, but it was like hearing them through a wall of cotton.
Koen sat across from me, hazel eyes bright with uneasiness, as if he was afraid he’d broken me somehow. It was odd to see such a broad-shouldered, honorable man hunched over. I had been angry with him before, just over a month ago, before vampires attacked the farm and sent me on the whole journey. But I couldn’t be mad at him anymore, especially when all he had were good intentions.
Tess and Em wedged me between them as they pressed close. I was beyond grateful for their silent support. Sloan and Rhetta were gauging everyone’s auras. Wren shifted awkwardly as the least involved person in this twisted web of truths, lies, and old loves.
No, I couldn’t be mad. Koen had also given me a fake name for my father: Teivel. Now that I understood without a lick of resistance, I was glad he didn’t tell me my real father was Cirillo. Knowing that truth surely would have gotten me killed.
If everyone who recognized his scent on me wasn’t so terrified, I added to myself.
I’d had plenty of time to mull over every detail of the adventure from the raided Kairos outpost to Balmoral, the Redfang underground compound and arena. So many vampires had recognized Cirillo’s scent in my blood. They had all been horrified, claiming it “impossible,” and fled. Thana of Redfang had known, too, but she used it to play me like a fool, which was unknown to me then. She reveled in the fact that Cirillo was dead, and she could assert her power over his death by threatening his son.
The fact curdled my blood. I’ll never accept him as my father. It was a shame, really, that I spent my whole life wondering who the scumbag was who’d abused my mother. In hindsight, I was relieved when Koen made it seem that Teivel was just a nobody. Cirillo was anything but a nobody.
I mentally shook my head and focused on what was real and present. I met Koen’s gaze levelly. “I understand that you do everything for a reason.”
Koen’s shoulders only relaxed a fraction. “From now on, we speak openly about her. Maer Whisler.”
“Maer Whisler,” I repeated quietly. Another strike of lightning fizzed through me, making my tattoo glow briefly again.
Beside me, Tess sucked in a small breath. She’d seen it, too. But she didn’t act on it.
“Nightmare of a girl,” Sloan muttered, stabbing at her piece of freshly smoked beef, but there was only affection in her tone. “She never listened to me when I had the best intentions for her.”
Koen’s mouth quirked up. “The last thing Maer wanted was friends. She got them whether she wanted them or not.”
Rhetta leaned her cheek on her husband’s shoulder. “I’m sure you all helped her so much,” she soothed.
Sloan’s voice rasped with abrupt, held-back tears. “We tried.”
Part of me suddenly wished I had more dreams of her memories—of Maer, my mother—she spent with the Blackwood siblings. Why hadn’t my power shown me any of those?
“They’re back!”
The singular shout ignited a wave of excited whispers.
“He’s back? Finally!”
“Do you think they accomplished the mission?”
“It feels like it’s been years.”
“Almost was a full year. They were supposed to check in every so often. As far as I know, that only happened twice.”
“I have a bad feeling something went wrong.”
I gauged the reactions of the Blackwoods and Rolands. The adults were tense. Em was eyeing Tess, whose jaw clenched, as the Main bustled with new activity.
Talk of Maer suddenly miles away, I muttered, “I feel like I’m missing something important.”
The adults got to their feet, Tess following quickly, which made Em and I feel obligated to do the same. We all weaved into the throng of witches, humans, and half-bloods, all jostling to the sendoff point.
Tess and Em clasped hands when the tide tried to pull them apart. Em caught mine to link us together. “There was a scouting mission sent out almost five months ago,” she explained over the din, “that turned into an eradicate assignment.”
I swore under my breath. An eradication assignment was exactly what it sounded like. They never happened, and when they did, it was based on Leysa or Vidar Andraste’s order alone. Which coven did they want to be destroyed, and why?
And which fighters were worthy of being tasked with that?
And why did Tess look so worried?
When we got to the cramped sendoff point, even I could barely see over the tops of people’s heads to view the returnees. It was a joyous reunion, with many congratulations being shared. The girls and I stuck close to the back of the crowd to wait for it to thin. I lost track of the Blackwoods and Rolands, but my eye did catch Leysa and Vidar moving through the crowd that parted for them.
I managed to catch them greet the patrol, and then a minute later, Vidar raised his hand for silence, which fell immediately. Such was the authority of the huge, reliable leader.
“Denarius and his team have returned home,” he boomed. “They have many things to discuss, but for now, grant them space to recover. Disperse, please.”
The name struck a chord of familiarity, and then the memory returned in full. Denarius was one of Vidar’s relatives—his great-nephew or something—and despite being only eighteen, he was an extremely gifted warrior.
My jaw clenched. Gifted and a royal jerk.
Because neither of the girls seemed inclined to leave, I stayed pressed to the wall with them until just the team and the Andrastes were left. They all turned to head out when Denarius’s eyes—irises so deep a blue they were almost black, his gray sclera marking him as a half-blood vampire—landed on me. But they skipped over to Tess when he didn’t recognize me—or just ignored me completely—and they lit up with joy.
“Tess!” he exclaimed, crossing the cave in a few strides and pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. “It’s incredible to see you.”
I expected her to resist or squirm, but she—
My jaw dropped to the floor. Tess let him hug her. What in Death’s name?
“It’s good to see you too, Den,” she said as he set her down after too long of a moment. “I’m glad you and your team are safe.”
“It was a journey for sure,” he huffed, turning to Em and flinging his arms open so she could jump into a hug, too. “Emalyn, it’s been too long.”
“Way too long!” When they broke apart, Em gestured toward me. “Den, do you remember Bastian Hayes? He’s—”
“Oh,” Denarius interrupted with a growl, the amicability turning to ice in his eyes. He was broad and brutish even for a half-vampire, his dark hair unkempt, his dark skin blending in with the low-lit cave. “I remember little Bas. Does he remember me?”
I curled my lip to reveal my fangs. “Only my friends call me that. I remember everything.”
Then I aimed a punch toward his face.