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EMILY
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LANDON’S QUIET AFTER giving my phone back. Probably deciding how to retract all those promises of wanting more, the fatalistic part of me bemoans. But best he knows what he’s getting himself into now rather than later.
“You’ve been dealing with this by yourself for over ten years?” he finally asks, the muscles of his jaw constricting.
“I told you I can’t stop the cycle. Despite therapy. Despite knowing how badly it affects me because they only reach out when they need something from me.” The breath hitches in my lungs as tears threaten to spill over. “I can’t say no without guilt or shame, so I give in.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Landon wraps his arms around my waist, hugging tightly, and it breaks the dam of emotions I was saving for my pity party tomorrow. Resting my forehead on his chest, hot tears slide down my cheeks to seep into his shirt, dampening the white cotton.
“I’ve stressed about this weekend since deciding to come,” I admit with a shaky voice. “Worrying about what terrible thing would happen while gone. Berating myself for wasting money on a trip.” Landon squeezes harder in response—triggering more honesty at his steady kindness. “But I came anyway because I’ve lived with stress and anxiety for so long, I figured what’s one weekend for myself? That’s part of why I’m just kind of going with the flow with you. Because this weekend is for me, and I want to store up every good memory, want to let go of every worry before I return to reality. But, of course, I ruin it by letting them suck me in with their drama.”
“You haven’t ruined anything. The weekend’s not over. Tonight’s not over,” he whispers in my ear. “I hate that you’ve carried this burden alone for so long, but you don’t have to anymore. I’m not running. I’m not scared.”
“And I’m supposed to believe you so easily? How? Why?”
“Because I used to be the burden in my family—the troubled kid.” Landon loosens his grip enough to draw back and cup my face, brushing away stray tears. “I did what I wanted without caring how it affected my family. They always bailed me out of scrapes, adjusted their schedules to deal with whatever teacher conference or detention I had. Lived with my attitude throughout high school and part of college.”
“That's supposed to make me feel better?” It’s hard to imagine him being a troublemaker. As someone inconsiderate of others since he’s been nothing but understanding and respectful this weekend.
“It’s supposed to give you hope. I turned my life around, which means maybe your family can, too. But even if they don’t change, I’ll be right by your side because I understand what you’re going through. You don't ever need to worry about me either, because I've matured. I know how to care for myself, and all I really want to do is care for you. There’s nothing you need to do to earn my devotion.”
Earnestness gleams from his green eyes, and I know he means it. He truly wants me for me.
Without overthinking it like I would.
Without doubting it like I am.
Just a man who knows his heart and his limits and is willing to risk them for me—Emily Houghton.
“Just like that.” I snap my fingers. “You’re all in.”
“Yes.”
I feel giddy. Nauseous. Nervous. An entire colony of roving emotions march through my body as his words sink in. If Melanie or any of my other friends told me about a guy declaring himself so openly to them, I’d push them so fast in his direction it would make their heads spin. And I know they’d do the same for me right now. Scream at me to stop being ridiculous. To stop being scared.
To trust for once.
To risk falling in love with a man who could end up breaking my heart. Or protecting it for the rest of your lives together.
Trust Landon. You can do it.
But is it right?
“Does it make me selfish to let you in, though? I feel like I’m taking advantage of you—using you,” I admit, ever aware of needing to be good, to be kind, to make up for my family’s flaws. “I’ve wished for someone to bear this burden with me for years, but I’ve also known how impossible it would be. It’s been a dream I knew would never come true because I couldn’t let another person be hurt like me.”
“Emily, listen to me. You are the least selfish person I know. In fact, you’re being overly accommodating if we’re being honest, and that’s something else we’ll work on. Because it’s not wrong for you to want someone to love you.” He leans closer, ensuring I hear and believe every word he speaks. “You’re not using how I feel as a power chip to get your way. I am freely offering myself to you. Are we clear?”
Yes.
Finally.
Covering his hands with my own, I nod. “We’re clear. I’m going to follow your lead and see where it takes me because I’m tired of fighting this when I really don’t want to. Denying this because it feels like I should to be a good person, not because it’s what I really want.”
“Good’s overrated, right?” A tender smile lifts the corners of his mouth as he smooths a thumb over my bottom lip. “Which means it’s time I dirtied you up. The rest of tonight will be spent with either my face, hand, or cock between your thighs, and there will be no more talk of drama or families or anything remotely sad.” Landon snatches my phone back when it sounds again and turns it off before shoving it in his back pocket. “My original plans for the evening have shifted a bit, but we’re going to make it work, aren’t we, sweetheart?”
“Yes, we are.” Tilting my head to the side, I glance around the locker room and decide it’s time to show him my appreciation of his acceptance. To return the favor of the pleasure he gave me under the bleachers. Not to balance the scales, but because there’s a need in me to be his in every way. “Starting with you sharing one of your fantasies with me. Surely, you’ve thought of some with how much time you’ve spent in here after practices and games.”
“Tonight’s about you, not me. We can discuss my fantasies later.”
“But this is what I want,” I press, hungry to learn what’s lurking beneath his blonde façade, because him holding me by the throat yesterday? That felt intoxicating. And dangerous. His dark desire to corrupt me making my body slick with need. “Please, just tell me.”
Landon groans, ruffling his hair with a shake of his head. “I’m not sure you’re ready to hear mine. It’s not very romantic.”
I smile at the sweet sentiment. “It doesn’t have to be.”
His eyes drop to my chest, then raise to meet my curious gaze. Distant bass coming from the dance reverberates in the room as we stand across from each other, hovering on the edge of no return. Then the bubble of silence bursts, and we’re catapulted forward as Landon growls. “I want to come on your tits. I want to fuck between their ample curves to completion. Until they’re covered in my cum.”
He’s right. I wasn’t ready to hear that. However, I’m not going to refuse him.
It sounds freaking hot. Like he’s marking me as his in an elemental way—something that should bother me, I’m sure, but strangely just makes me more excited.
I like the idea of belonging to him. The love bite he left on my neck yesterday has caught my eye every time I’ve passed a mirror, despite Melanie helping me mask it with makeup. And if we’re going to do this, then I’m going all in. I want to be branded as his in every way possible.
Time to make up for keeping myself at a distance from men and relationships.
Time to revel in being bad and let him dirty me beyond recognition.