Passion and Pizza
A slice of seduction in Buenos Aires.
I can’t take you anywhere, because my favorite restaurant is there.” The pot-bellied taxista with the silver hair pointed across the intersection, where three plastic pigs danced on top of a sign that read “Los Chanchitos.” The Little Porkers.
“Get in,” he said. “I’ll drive you.”
It was silly for him to wrestle his cab across the street when I could easily walk, but I got in anyway. I looked at the pair of sky-blue baby shoes hanging from the rearview mirror. The taxista wasn’t flirting with me. He was just being kind.
“I don’t want to cheat you,” he said, making a U-turn and braking in front of the restaurant. “Go in and have a great lunch.”
I wished Liliana were with me when the taxista refused the pesos I offered him. A few days earlier, over coffee at Café La Paz, when I told my Argentine tango mentor that I was getting into random cabs and asking drivers to take me to their favorite restaurants, she tore off the end of a medialuna-croissant and shook it in my face. “Taxistas are the biggest cheats in Buenos Aires!” she said, “They’ll drive you in circles, or rob you, or rape you, maybe even take you someplace dangerous.”
Perhaps she was right. So far I’d only taken a few taxi adventures, and maybe I was just lucky nothing horrible had happened. But when the silver-haired taxista shooed me out of his cab and into “The Little Porkers,” where the pancetta-wrapped pepper steak was so tender I could cut it with a butter knife, I felt it was more than luck. We were dealing in trust.
Months later, I was looking for a cab at the corner of Diagonal Norte, near the mad midday traffic around the Obelisco in downtown Buenos Aires, wondering where I was going to eat lunch. Buses wheezed by, mopeds wove between the Fiats and Renaults on Avenida 9 de Julio, and I could hear the drums of a workers’ protest getting closer when a taxi stopped in front of me. I climbed in.
The last thing I wanted was an aventura with another Argentine. After the fling with Joaquín ended, I carried my disappointment all over the city: I didn’t know where he ended and Buenos Aires began. As predictable as the end was, as stupid as I’d been to believe Joaquín would keep calling me—who ever heard of a sustainable relationship with a tango teacher?—I still felt sliced in half.
I glanced at the cab driver. His eyelashes were so long they brushed against the lenses of his sunglasses. Even if this taxista was the most beautiful man I’d seen in a city full of beautiful men, I told myself the only thing I was interested in was his food. If he had to leave Buenos Aires tomorrow, I asked him, where would he eat today?
“Aren’t you going to invite me to eat with you?” he said.
I rolled up the window. There are few things more dangerous than a man who’s well aware of how good-looking he is, except maybe an Argentine man who’s well aware of how good-looking he is.
“Only if it’s lunch and nothing else,” I said.
“No kisses?” He turned down the techno on the radio.
“No kisses,” I shook my head.
“Not even a kiss on the cheek?”
“Mirá,” I said. I wanted my heart to slow down, and I wanted to stop blushing, but that only made me start to sweat. “This is how it’s going to be. You take me to your favorite restaurant. We have lunch. I take the bus home. You drive away in your taxi. And that’s it.”
“So it has to be on your terms?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said.
“Then I don’t accept.”
I laughed. I was tempted. I was flattered that the taxista with the Johnny Depp cheekbones wanted me, even though I tried to remind myself that flirtation was a fact of life in Buenos Aires. The cab driver was no different from the bureaucrats at the immigration office or the dentist who’d given me a root canal. If I wanted to keep from repeating my mistake with Joaquín, I had to learn to handle seduction the way Liliana embraced sweet talk from her tango partners at the milonga: “Lie to me,” she said. “I like it.”
“Once I picked up this redhead near the casino,” the taxista began, ignoring a red light on Avenida Córdoba. “She was about forty. Belleza. We got to talking, I invited her for coffee. We ended up at my house, in the shower, didn’t come out until dinner the next day. I took her to La Taberna de Roberto—”
“Oh, yeah! I know that place,” I said. “It’s great!”
The taxista went on uninterrupted. So I listened to his stories of his conquests—he’d met most of his girlfriends, and other men’s girlfriends, in his cab. I was hungry—my stomach had begun growling when we’d started our journey, and now I was in that dangerous, hypoglycemic zone that’s the reason I always try to pack a snack in my purse. I was also confused about why such a beautiful man felt he needed to go over his sexual resume, wishing he would try to seduce me some other way. Lie to me, I thought, I need it.
We crossed Avenida Rivadavia. The asphalt ended and the cab bounced over the cobblestones. I felt the same vertigo I experienced every time I started to tango: I didn’t know where I was going or how I was going to get there, and I was leaving it all up to a stranger.
“Have you ever had a one-night stand?” the taxista asked.
“That’s something you’ll never know.”
“Oh, come on! That’s not fair. This is an even exchange, isn’t it?”
“I’m guessing you’ve had a few?” I said.
“Of course.”
“So your taxi is literally your vehicle to love,” I said.
“Love? No, no, no. Passion, maybe. But not love.”
We were in Boedo now, on the south side of Buenos Aires, where abandoned factories faced soot-covered houses. I still didn’t know where we were going. I didn’t like the uncertainty, but I had to contend with it. Now I was in a neighborhood I didn’t know, and I was starving.
“Do you like pizza?” he asked.
“Yes, I love pizza. Yes.”
He stopped the taxi on the corner of Avenida Boedo and Juan de Garay, in front of a pizzeria called “San Antonio.” There was a life-sized painting of a halo-topped, brown-robed, pizza-bearing saint on the window. Behind the saint, the restaurant was full.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”
“Well …” I wasn’t sure.
“At least let me kiss you,” he took off his sunglasses. His eyes were hazel, a lighter shade than Joaquín’s.
“By the way, I’m Hernán.”
If I started to kiss Hernán, I reasoned, I wouldn’t be able to stop, and I’d become the brown-haired gringa he told his next conquest about. Also, if I started to kiss him, I’d have to wait who knows how long before I could eat his pizza.
“I’m Layne,” I said, quickly shaking his hand, “You know, like Luisa Lane. Superman’s girlfriend?”
He grinned.
“You don’t want to kiss me,” I said. “I’m too much trouble for you.”
“What? You have a boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You’re right,” I said, “but believe me when I say I’m too much trouble for you.”
I handed him ten pesos and climbed out of the taxi.
“Wait!” he called, “Luisa! What about your phone number?”
I shook my head, staring at him as he leaned out of the passenger-side window, trying to memorize the sculpture of his face—the Roman nose, the dimpled chin, the double curve in his upper lip. I blew him a kiss, then turned around and walked into the pizzeria.
I was still thinking about Hernán’s eyelashes when I squeezed into the only free seat and studied the menu on the wall. Like most pizzerias de barrio, San Antonio’s pies fused Italian pizza-making techniques with the Argentine preference for puffy dough and excessive cheese. Fugazzetta—a Buenos Aires staple that was invented in the late 1800s when local pizza makers added heaps of mozzarella to the focaccia that their Genovese ancestors brought across the Atlantic—was what I noticed on most people’s plates. There were two men at the bar, bald spots gleaming under fluorescent lights, eating their fugazzetta with slices of fainá—chickpea flat bread—stacked on top.
A server in a thin white dress shirt shared a joke with the beer-drinking retirees at the table next door before he took my order. He returned minutes later with a piece of fugazzetta and a slice of fainá. Individually, neither was anything special. But together, the fugazzetta—a mound of melted mozzarella and a pile of sliced onions on an inch-thick crust—and fainá—garbanzo bean flour and olive oil baked into a dense slice—made a delicious combination. Chickpeas checked the richness of the cheese. Onions, oven-roasted and paper-thin, added a strong, sweet accent.
I watched the neighborhood come and go as I ate my lunch. The retirees nursed their beers, studied the soccer scores in the Clarín, and pretended not to notice me. Young couples fed toddlers who couldn’t sit still. Teenagers in school uniforms schlepped stacks of twine-bound boxes of pizza to go. I spotted a sign between a pair of thirsty philodendrons: the pizzeria had been there for more than sixty years.
I was almost finished with my fugazzetta and still wondering whether I’d been an idiot to turn down Hernán’s proposition—I couldn’t deny that the attraction was mutual. It was only for a ride, but he’d distracted me from the pain of Joaquín. And after all my doubts about where he might take me, the taxista had led me to this spot. I felt like I was on the inside in this slow old neighborhood. A wooden statue of San Antonio watched over the dining room from a shelf above a plastic Pepsi sign. I stared at the pile of mozzarella and the tangle of onions on my plate, glad I had a few bites left.
Layne Mosler is a writer who did restaurant reconnaissance and danced tango in Buenos Aires for nearly four years before moving to New York City to drive a taxi. This story is an excerpt from Driving Hungry, forthcoming in 2014, a book based on her taxigourmet.com blog.