My phone feels heavy as I hold it against my chest and let out a sob. God, hearing his voice was both the best feeling in the world and incredibly painful.
He misses me, but I didn’t even have the strength to ask if he missed me as only a friend or as more.
Does he miss me how I miss him?
Or does he just miss his friend from Texas who knew him before he was a rock star?
Does it even matter?
For eight months, I’ve thought about Trent every day, and the more time that passed the more I wondered if it’s better that things fell apart. If we got together, how long would we even last? I know myself well enough to know I need a man who’s here, who’s present when I need him, not someone who will be on the road half the year or more touring and having women constantly throwing themselves at him.
God, the idea makes my stomach curdle.
I lie back in my bed and throw the covers over my head, wanting to drown out the world and my heartache. Shouldn’t this have faded by now? Why is this such a persistent ache? I was able to get over Brad in no time at all, and we actually dated for nine months.
Why can’t I get over Trent when we only had one night together?
My mind races with questions, my heart aches with pain, and my body lies heavy on my bed until a fitful sleep finally overcomes it all.
My brother’s huge smile consumes his face, and he looks as excited as a little kid on Christmas at how well his new girlfriend, Gina, and I are getting along. I found out he met her family a week ago, so of course, I demanded to meet her. It took him nearly a week to finally schedule something, and I admit I was a mess of nerves when I drove to the dog park.
Will doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to choosing good women. Well, I guess it’s only one woman since Gina is only his second serious relationship. But after Candace, I’m especially protective when it comes to my brother. Which is also why I still haven’t told him about Trent calling me two weeks ago. I haven’t heard a word from him since.
Not a text.
Not a call.
Nothing.
And I’m fucking gutted at his silence.
Is this how he felt all those months that I ignored his texts? Even if I pored over them nightly, reading and rereading them and torturing myself, he didn’t know that. I don’t know what his silence means, but it can’t be anything good.
But Will is finally happy, and I don’t want to ruin that.
Now if Gina turns out to be a bitch, it’ll be a completely different story. I’m sick of gold diggers trying to own my brother.
I see Rex, Will’s dog, pouncing around my brother and a beautiful woman whose curves are envy-inducing. She looks nothing like Candace, and a small bit of relief courses through me. Now I can only hope her personality is nothing like Candace too.
“Rex! Come here, boy,” I shout, and Rex immediately comes bounding over to me. God, I love this fucking dog so much. I usually have him stay with me when Will’s out of town for away games, and he’s made these past eight months a little more bearable. There’s a reason they call dogs man’s best friend—they’re empathetic, caring, and sometimes feel like people in their own right.
Honestly dogs are better than people.
I give Rex a scratch behind his ears and then walk toward my brother. Gina looks nervous, and that endears her to me even more, so I decide to go into this as friendly as possible. I give her a kind smile and then walk right up to her and embrace her in a hug. “Hey, you must be Gina. It’s so good to meet you.” I pull away and look at Will affectionately. “Will’s been talking about you for ages.”
She turns to him. “Is that right?”
“Oh yeah,” I say and then lean toward her conspiratorially. “I even guessed you were the girl that had him all in a tizzy over a year ago.”
Shock fills her face. “What?”
“Yeah, Will here was pretty pissy about a year or so ago, and I found out it was about a woman, but it was like pulling teeth to get any more information out of him. It wasn’t until recently when I put two and two together and he caved and told me you were her.”
She looks at Will, her expression still shocked, but there’s also a softness to it, like she’s coming to some kind of realization about him. Suddenly Rex barks and bounds toward another, much smaller dog. The owner’s face morphs into terror as this giant pit bull runs straight toward her. Will must see it too because he curses and then chases after Rex.
I take the opportunity to talk to Gina without him around. I get only good vibes from her, and while I might be terrible when it comes to reading men, I’m a stellar judge of character when it comes to other women. I don’t know why, maybe growing up with two very different sisters, but my gut has never been wrong when I meet a woman.
My gut tells me Gina’s a good one, and I’m once again thankful that Will’s finally so happy, but I also want to make sure she’s not going to break his heart.
“So, Gina. What are your intentions with my brother?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, are you two just messing around, or is this serious?” I can already tell Will’s serious about her.
“I’m pretty sure it’s serious if we’re meeting each other’s families.”
I look back over at Will who’s currently reassuring a very nervous dog owner and nod at her response. “Good.” I let out a small breath of relief that she and Will seem to be on the same page. The Edmonson sisters may be a hot mess right now, but at least one Edmonson is getting his shit together.
“I’m glad he finally let someone in.”
“What do you mean?”
I watch my brother. “Will was really messed up after Candace died. I didn’t think he’d ever get over it.” I stop and look closely at Gina. “I’m grateful you’re in his life. Maybe now he can put all those ghosts behind him.”
Rex comes bounding back, and I immediately crouch down to meet him. I give him lots of love when he makes it to me and all the pain and heartache that’s been exacerbated from Trent’s silence eases in this moment.
My brother is happy, and I have a dog to take my mind off my life for a while.
We hang out at the park for the next few hours and then I invite myself over for dinner with them—mainly because the idea of being alone right now terrifies me. I feel like a china doll who was broken and put back together poorly, like one swift wind will break all my pieces all over again. Gina’s quiet during dinner and then makes a quick exit afterward. Will’s always been easy to read, probably because we’re so close, both in age and in personalities. So I immediately worry when he seems distant and lost in his thoughts after Gina leaves.
“You okay?”
He glances at me. “Yeah, why?”
“You seem distracted.”
He leans back in his chair and lets out a heavy sigh. “Gina seemed distant with me today, and I wanted to ask her about it, but someone had to invite herself to dinner.”
I shrug, not feeling bad. He wouldn’t either if he knew why I’m so hesitant to be alone. “I wanted to keep hanging out. This the first woman you’ve dated I actually liked.”
“She’s only the second woman I’ve dated.”
“Exactly.” I throw him a look because he knows what I’m talking about without me having to say it. Getting serious, I say, “Gina is really great, Will. I’m so glad you are finally letting someone in. I was worried about you.”
“I know you were.”
We talk a little more about our day together when Will switches gears. “So, how’re things with you?”
Damn, I should’ve known this was coming.
“Ugh, can we not, please?”
“What? You can hassle me about my life, but I can’t hassle you about yours?”
“Yep, pretty much.” Plus, I can’t talk about it with him. I can talk to Lainey and Elise because they don’t know Trent that well. They were older or younger than us. But Will and I are only eleven months apart and had a lot of the same friends growing up, Trent included. He knows Trent. And he knows me. He’ll be able to see through whatever lie I try to tell him, and I’m not ready to admit the truth, so it’s better to not say anything.
He laughs. “Bullshit.”
I shrug and take another drink of wine.
He watches me carefully and then says, “You’re staying here tonight.”
“That didn’t sound like a question.”
“It wasn’t. If you think I’m going to let you drive home when you’ve been drinking, you clearly don’t know who you’re dealing with.”
I blanche a little and put my glass down. It’s only my third, but Will’s been overly cautious about drinking and driving. And he has every right to be. After all, his fiancée died in a drunk-driving accident.
And frankly I don’t want to fight him on this. I don’t want to go back to my empty condo that’s filled with memories of my night with Trent.
“Okay. I’ll stay, but I’m stealing Rex. I need a cuddle buddy.” I keep my voice light, but it’s the truth. Rex may not be the warm body I wish was next to me in bed, but he’ll do. And he won’t break my heart, so that’s a win in my book.
Will shakes his head. “I swear you’re trying to steal my dog from me.”
I rub my hands together. “You’re on to my evil plan. Mwahaha.”
“You’re such a weirdo.”
I can’t help but genuinely smile at that. “Who do you think I learned it from?”
He rolls his eyes at me, and I am so thankful for my brother that I almost want to tell him about Trent.
And maybe someday I will.