I don’t know how many times I have to tell this woman I won’t leave her before she finally believes me.
Relief shines in her eyes. “I love you too. I’m so sorry about everything that happened in LA. I just…Brad showed me some footage of the tour and girls all over you, and I just lost it.”
I pull back more to stare in her eyes so I can better understand. “Brad? The douchebag you were crying over when we first bumped into each other?”
She nibbles her lip and nods her head.
“I don’t know what footage he showed you, but I can assure you there was no one else on that tour. Besides hanging with the guys, I was by myself.” I press my forehead to hers, trying to figure out how to prove to her that she’s the only woman I want—the only one I will ever want. “Why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
Her watery gaze meets with mine, and there’s so much vulnerability there. “Honestly?”
“That’d be nice.”
She lets out a shaky breath. “Because I didn’t think I could be enough for you.” She shakes her head like she thinks the thought is crazy—because it is. “I know that’s not true now, but at the time, it just hit a nerve. I think maybe I was also feeling extra insecure because I knew Elise had found our dad, and I got lost in my own head about how if I wasn’t good enough for him then how could I ever be good enough for you?”
“Becka, you are more than enough. You’re enough when you’re carefree and happy. You’re enough when you’re emotional and moody. You’re enough when you’re crazy and irrational. You are enough, always.”
Tears slip down her cheeks as she chokes out, “I’m so sorry, Trent. I want to fix things with us. I don’t want to lose you. I’m done letting my fears and insecurities get in the way.”
Wiping the tears with my thumbs, I brush her lips with mine. “Good, because you’re the love of my life, Becka. I can’t live without you, nor do I want to.”
She wraps her arms tighter around me, and we stand there holding each other for several minutes before I feel her body truly relax against me.
Brushing her hair, I ask, “Did you get what you needed from him?”
She looks up at me, her green eyes causing my heart rate to spike like it always does whenever she’s near. “You know what? I did. I mean, he didn’t really say much, but what he did say filled in some of the blanks that I’ve been living with my whole life.”
I brush a lock of hair from her face and lean down to kiss her forehead, wanting any excuse to touch her. “Good. Then I’m glad you came.”
“How did you know where I was?”
“Elise. I’ve been texting her since you tried to break up with me. Will gave me her number, and I reached out to her asking what was going on. She filled me in on all the details, and I organized the town car for you guys.”
She pulls back. “Wait, you got us the town car?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want you to have to worry about anything while you were dealing with your dad.”
“And then you followed me here,” she says, her contemplative gaze putting all the pieces together.
I nod, unashamed. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I’d do anything for her.
“Thank you,” she says before leaning up to kiss me.
None of the Edmonson kids ever talked about their dad growing up. I asked Will about him once, and he said he wasn’t worth the breath it would take to talk about him. So I never broached the subject again.
But things are different now. I have a lot of questions about him, and I want to be sure she’s gotten all the closure she needs so she never has to deal with him again.
“Can you tell me a little about him?”
She glances back at the door she walked out of. “I honestly don’t remember him. I only vaguely remembered what he looked like from pictures I’d seen, but I was four when he left and sometimes I think I remember things, but they’re so indistinct I can’t be sure. But I remember after. I remember all the nights my mom cried in her room or the bathroom thinking we didn’t know. I remember her working herself to the bone so she could provide for us and still somehow finding ways to support us and read us bedtime stories and be there for us. I remember the first time someone asked me when I was in kindergarten why my dad didn’t live with us. I didn’t know. I didn’t know why he’d left, but I kept thinking maybe it was my fault. Was I not good enough for him to stay? Was I not good enough for him to be my dad? He never sent birthday cards, or Christmas cards, or anything to let us know he even thought about us. It was like he just walked out the door and no longer existed. But we knew he was out there. I remember trying to be the best at whatever I tried because I thought maybe then he’d come around, he’d come watch me compete or something.”
She competed in swim team until junior year. Will never told me why she quit, but now I wonder how much of why she even started was attributed to her dad.
“I remember the first father-daughter dance. Our grandparents had already passed, and my mom hadn’t started dating Doug yet. I wanted to go so desperately, but I was the girl without a dad. Will offered to take me, but I couldn’t bear the thought of being different from everyone else. I just wanted my dad. I wanted some sign he cared. I wanted him to want me.”
Her voice doesn’t crack like I expect it to. Instead, she holds her head up tall, her shoulders back and her body carrying a strength I don’t know that I’ve ever seen in her before. She has to be the most beautiful woman in the world in this moment—hell, in every moment—but I’m admittedly biased.
“I don’t need him to want me anymore in order to feel like I’m worthy. It was never about me to begin with. All his choices are on him.” Her gaze drops to the ground briefly before looking up at me. “Just like my choices are mine.” She brushes her hand against my jaw, and I fight the urge to close my eyes because it feels so good to have her touching me. “I made the wrong choice yesterday in LA, but I promise you I won’t make that choice again. I choose you, Trent. From today on, I’ll always choose you.”
Pulling her close to me again because I simply can’t stop touching her, I whisper against her hair. “I love you, Becka Edmonson, and I promise to choose you too. Always.”
She stares at me in wonder. “Where did you come from?”
I can’t help smirking, but I don’t say anything snarky or cute like I usually would, because I know there’s more she needs to let out. Hell, a lot of what she’s said has stirred up memories of my own childhood and the feelings of abandonment and neglect I felt from my mom.
Quietly, she confesses, “I think I’ve spent most of my life expecting men to leave me because if the one man who’s supposed to love me unconditionally didn’t stay, why would anyone else?”
I can’t take it anymore. Cupping her face, I bring her lips to mine and kiss her fiercely, needing to connect with her this way, to make sure she knows she’s not alone. But the act itself isn’t enough. “I’m not leaving you.”
She looks at me, her green eyes still a little watery and her voice hoarse. “I want to believe you.”
“I’ll find a way to prove it, because I swear to you, Becka, you’re it for me. I’m never letting you go. I don’t want you to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. There’s no other shoe. I’ll have to literally leave for tours and stuff, but I’ll always belong to you. There won’t be any other women but you. For as long as I live, I’m yours.”
Something shifts in her gaze and then her mouth is on mine, kissing me with a hunger that leaves me wanting more than just her lips. But now’s not the time. Reluctantly, I break the kiss, leaning my forehead on hers as we both take deep breaths.
“I don’t want to mess this up again, Trent.”
“You won’t. Because no matter what, I’ll always be here waiting for you.”
God, this woman. She has no idea what she means to me, even after all this time. Somehow all that I’ve said and done hasn’t gotten through to her, and I’m not sure what it’ll take, but I’ll do anything to make sure she understands that there’s nothing in this world she could ever do to drive me away.
Pulling away, she says, “Let’s go to the car. I need to check on Elise.”
We walk back to the car hand in hand, and when we get to the back doors, I release her, but not before dropping a too-brief kiss on her lips. She smiles softly, her eyes crinkling at the corners, and then slides in next to her sister. They immediately start murmuring to each other, and I know she’ll spend the whole ride back to the hotel comforting Elise. I slide into the front passenger seat and let the driver know we’re good to go.
It’s still bothering me that somewhere in her head she thinks I might leave her, and the drive back gives me time to figure out how I’m going to convince Becka that I’m fully committed to her.
As we pass business after business and head closer to the strip, I see something that immediately catches my eye, and instantly I know what I need to do. The idea should terrify me. I’m sure my brother would think I’m being reckless and insane, but it feels right. It feels so right that I’m antsy to get back to the hotel and put my plan in motion.
When the driver pulls up to the hotel, I tell him to wait because I have one more stop to make. I help Becka out of the car, while she holds hands with a more composed Elise, although her eyes are still red-rimmed from crying.
“I gotta run a quick errand. Why don’t you spend some more time with Elise until I get back?”
“That would be great actually. I know she’s going to want some alone time eventually to fully decompress, but the big sister in me isn’t quite ready to leave her alone.”
I give her another kiss—fighting against every urge in my body to make it more—and the spare key to my suite, so we can meet there later, and then get back in the car. Once the girls walk through the sliding double doors of the hotel, I turn to my driver.
“Take me to the best jeweler in Vegas.”
I pace the floor of my suite waiting for Becka to return from Elise’s room, the ring I just dropped an insane amount of money on burning a hole in my pocket. I called her as soon as I got back, and she said she’d be right up, but that was ten minutes ago.
What’s taking her so long?
I’m antsy and dying to pour my heart out to her. I even wrote her a song in the car—the words coming to me swiftly and more clearly than any song I’ve ever written—but I thought that might be cheesy, so instead the lyrics are tucked in my pocket, and I’ll save it as a surprise for later. I hear the buzz of the lock before the door swings open and in walks the absolute love of my life.
Fuck, she’s gorgeous.
How the hell did I get so lucky?
Unable to stop myself, I move toward her and pull her into my arms, my lips finding hers in a salacious kiss. She moans softly and then wraps her arms tighter around me. Our tongues duel for dominance, and I know if I let this kiss continue, we’ll be naked in no time and there’s something much more important I want to do first.
Breaking the kiss, I step back slightly but still keep Becka in my arms. Her green eyes are slightly dazed and unfocused, and I love that I do that to her.
“I love you, Becka.”
Her lips tilt up at the corners, and her eyes go soft. “I love you too, Trent. I know I’ve already said it once today, but thank you for following me here, for knowing what I needed even when I didn’t.”
“I’ll follow you anywhere. Always.” I place my hands on the side of her neck and tilt her head up so she’s looking at me. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll prove it to you.”
My heart speeds up until it’s a stampede of rhinos in my chest, but I feel more excitement than nerves. She might think I’m completely crazy, but I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. I pull the ring box out of my pocket and get down on one knee. Her hands immediately cover her mouth, and her eyes go wide.
“Oh my God, Trent, what are you doing?”
I take her left hand and hold it tight. “I’m in this, Becka. I want to do life with you. The good and bad, the highs and lows. I want it all, but only with you. Only ever with you. I belong to you, Becka. I’m yours. You own me heart, body, and soul, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. Will you marry me?”
Her eyes fill with tears as she stares at me in shock, but then her lips tilt up slightly and she whispers, “Oh my God, I must be crazy.” And I know what her answer will be.
She nods her head once and then lets out a laugh and wraps her arms around my neck. “Yes,” she whispers in my ear. “We’re probably certifiably insane, but my answer is yes.”
“There’s no one else I’d rather be insane with.”
She laughs again and then I slide the ring on her finger, and it feels real. She’s going to be my wife. This isn’t just a dream.
“Let’s get married now.”
“What?” she asks breathlessly.
“Let’s do it here, in Vegas. There are a ton of places on the strip, and I don’t want to wait. I mean, if you want a big fancy wedding then we can of course wait, but I want to be married to you. I want the whole world to see your ring on my finger and know I’m taken.”
“I thought you weren’t that reckless rock star anymore.”
“This isn’t being reckless. I love you, Becka. I spent eight months without talking to you, seeing you, touching you, and they were the worst eight months of my life. I’ve known since the moment I held you in my arms again that you were it for me. So why wait? Why wait to start my life with the woman of my dreams when I could start it right now? Jump with me, Becka. Take a risk. I won’t let you fall. I’ll spend every day of my life proving my vows to you. Say yes. Say you’ll marry me, here, today, and we can start our lives together knowing we’re in this together. Partners for life.”
“But what about your brother? Won’t he want to be here? And my family will be so mad at me if I get married without them.”
“Forget about everyone else for a second. Do you want to get married today?”
She watches me, her eyes not giving away how she’s feeling. I’ll be okay with whatever she decides because she’s already agreed to marry me, but I’m ready now. I’d marry her in the next ten minutes if she gave me the go-ahead. And not just to prove to her that I’m sticking around, but because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her.