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I went viral before the fire department showed up to cut me down. TMZ was the worst. The Headline said. Not So Private Dick Crucified On Football Field.
Not my finest moment. The video was already at 200,00 views and climbing. Bugs was somewhere having a big laugh. He won’t be laughing for long though.
The nurse mentions offering me a permanent room at the hospital. They said it would be easier than checking me in every other night.
Everybody had jokes today. I don’t laugh at her joke. I roll over in my bed the opposite way. She got the hint.
My jaw is throbbing. Eye swelled. Pride in the gutter. So much so that I sent Penny home. No can see me this way. Downtrodden and beating upon. I closed my eyes and slept.
****
THEY WOKE ME AT 4 PM and released me a few hours later. I’m expecting a gaggle of trolls and photographers. I played myself. I’m not that important. No one is here.
While I slept Trump tweeted about bagels. Now Jews are offended. That’s enough to distract the net from my story.
They wheel me to the main entrance. Hand me a bag of pain pills I won’t use. And send me on my merry way.
I start walking down the steps that lead to a bustling sidewalk. My plan is to call an UBER. Call Dominoes. Call the Weed Man. In that order.
I get to the sidewalk, close my eyes. Lift my head to the night sky and take a deep breath. The sounds of the night wrap my head in a cozy familiarity. Sometimes you just have to stop and smell the smog.
My eyes are still closed when I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I knew it was her before I open my eyes. I want her tonight more than anything else. I knew she’d come.
Her eyes resemble the same longing in reciprocity. We say nothing. She grabs my hand. And I follow the bitch home like a good little doggy.
I quit. I say. Air whipping past my head at 85 miles per hour. Kitty is not listening to me.
We’re in her white convertible. An Audi S5 Cabriolet. En route to her family’s mansion. Diablo is 45 minutes away up I-680 N from San Jose. She is gonna make it in 30 minutes at this rate.
What's the rush I say? Half expecting her to ignore me again. No rush she says. I just like to drive fast. Makes me feel alive.
She wears jeans and a tight white cashmere sweater. Simple and elegant. She smells like lavender. Even with the air blowing all the smells of the world at high speed. All I can smell is her.
I have so many questions for her. My questions don’t matter tonight. Her hand leaves the gear shift at random intervals to stroke my thigh.
I don’t care who killed who. I don’t care that the whole world laughed at me today. I don’t care that my life is in danger for what I now know.
All I care about is me. Me and what I want. And tonight I get what I want.