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Penny is looking mighty good today. Let me just say this. I am a fan of a curvy broad in yoga pants. She knows what she is doing as she bends over in front of me to tie her shoes.
Aren't you wearing sandals? I say to Penny. She giggles and plops her plump round bottom on the beanbag.
We are joined by Patrick who was fresh out of jail. Having being absolved of all charges. He was currently in the process of suing the city for the shoddy investigation that led to his arrest and damage to his um “reputation”.
He sat cross leg in between Penny and Wheeler. Wheeler's suspension was lifted. But after making a rack and a half for a few hours of work. To the dismay of Benita, He is considering leaving the force and joining my agency.
We did a few rounds of bowls and joints. And we were not alone. Our office phone is lighting up as well. We are now the top agency in the city. We turn the ringer off and lock the door. All these distractions keep Killing the High.
An hour or so later Penny rolls the J of all J's. She passes it to me to start it. (Or green light in stoner speak.) I light the monster joint and inhale. Before I can blow the smoke out. Penny, who is familiar with my methods but still unsure of a few details asks me.
So how did you know? I mean what tipped the scales so to speak. When were you sure it was Gill? She says.
I blow my smoke out and say “immediately”. From the second I met that weirdo. He gave me bad vibes. And he seemed to happy about the death.
Archer was well liked I say. So whoever killed him had to hate him. Despite her plans to knock him off for insurance money him, Kitty loved him.
So my equation was hate plus motive equals murder. It was a bit confusing at first. Gill gave me the first clue that put him in my sights.
By bringing me the file on Kitty. He knew I would discover the connection between Kitty and Bugs. Once they were eliminated only Gill and Patrick remained.
Gill’s area of expertise in science is chemistry. When Patrick told me that he felt woozy and blacked out.
I realized he was dosed with a date rape drug. Rohypnol or GHB possibly. Both are compounds any high school junior could make. Let alone a Chemistry Professor.
When I looked into his personnel file. I found the stalking complaint Archer reported. There was also a recommendation Archer sent to another school Gill applied to. It wasn’t very flattering.
In addition to that, I say. Gill Fowler exhibits the traits of a sociopath. When Archer rejected his sexual advance that was likely the last straw for Gill.
The toxicology report showed both men positive for GHB. After dosing them both. All he had to do was get Valentines gun from his locker. Set the scene with the unconscious men and pull the trigger.
Hey! I interrupt my own story cause Patrick is holding the joint too long. Puff Puff pass man. We didn’t roll it for you to hold it I say.
Patrick nodded sheepishly and passed the joint to Wheeler. Wheeler hits the stick and asks in a wispy a voice. What was the deal with the clothes?
That was to a red herring designed to send me in Bug’s direction. Anybody that’s ever been in a sketch bar knows Bugs. He’s one of the biggest loan sharks in San Jose.
I sent him up the river a few years back when I was a cop. I say. It was on an aggravated assault and felony torture bid. Someone owed him $130. He beat the shit out of him. Stripped him. And tied him to a “Slow, Children at Play” sign.
That's Bugs' signature move. The way I figured it. Bugs was hunting down whoever killed Archer. He had a part of that $5 million policy. Honestly, I said. I think it was most likely his plan.
After they discovered they weren’t getting paid. After what he did to me Kitty was furious. She wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
Kitty still stood to collect $3 Million from Archer’s benefits if It could be proven murder. But Bugs had no claim to that. Bugs came to the funeral to kidnap and murder Gill Fowler.
He was carrying a pistol and had hostage taking gear in his car. That’s a felony. I’ll worry about Bugs Mason in 5 to 10.
What about Kitty? Penny asks this with a little more attitude than I’m used to from her. Penny has a secret crush on me. A badly kept secret. Because she tells me every time we drink.
I always ignore it or shrug it off as a joke. Because of this she just gets a little bolder about it every day. She is pissed at me for fucking Kitty. I ignore her again this time and say.
Kitty cashes out. She becomes rich independently rich from her father. She gets rid of a cheating husband. And she gets to get the fuck out of San Jose. I’ll never hear from her again I’m sure.
Penny shelved her real opinion and said. Well, at least you got her out of your system now.
I looked at Penny. I was probably gonna sleep with her tonight. I’d probably fall in love and knock her up. The most obvious answer is quite often the answer. She looked back at me confirming my thoughts with her eyes.
Wheeler and Patrick stood up to leave. Patrick gave me a pound. (pause). Wheeler leaned down and gave hugs to Penny and I. The two men left.
Penny lay in my lap and I played with her full dark hair like I’d be doing it for twenty years. I hit the joint and let that sweet sweet mother fucking Marijuana take me away.
You finally ready to go home she said, with just the right amount of bossiness. Yeah, I said. Can you cook I asked?
She laughed and said no. But I’m quite exceptional at a few things you might like she said. I kissed her for the first time. She blew my smoke back at me. Sexiest damn thing I’d ever seen.
Penny licked her lips and wrapped her arms around my waist. She was shorter than me. So she had to look up into my eyes.
I looked down into her browns like I'd never seen her before and I'd never see her again at the same time.
I took her hand and walked her to the door. I opened the door and cut the lights still holding my joint.
She looked up at me and said. OK, Bossman. I know what we're doing tonight. But whatever will we do tomorrow?
I hit my joint. Looked her right in her face like a straight up Gangster and said, the Same thing we'll be doing every night Penny.
Smoking Weed and Solving Crimes.