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Lunch was the only time Giselle had free now that Martina had set them on their tasks. She’d tried to meet with Damien before school that morning, but the girls had barely pulled into the parking lot by the time the first bell had run. That left her scrambling for her worst class of the day, and between classes was a four-minute dash that left her little time to pee, let alone hunt down her absentee boyfriend.
Between bites of the sawdust-flavored burger she’d waited more than ten minutes to get in the lunch line, Giselle searched the cafeteria for Damien.
For a boy who’d been looking for her, according to Di, he’d been surprisingly absent in the usual places, and equally unresponsive via text message as well.
The cafeteria had proven a dead end. Giselle tried the library and even took a walk around the parking lot before heading back inside to find him at his locker.
“Long time no see,” she teased with a smile.
He returned the greeting, but his eyes lacked their usual glint of joy at seeing her.
Bad news. She knew it before even bringing up the subject of her father. It had been the last thing they discussed, the topic Giselle had been too eager to push. Magic had caused his condition, and magic had to be the key to correcting it. And in that line of thinking, Giselle had beat herself up for the last day and a half over how pushy she’d been with Damien over it.
“Been busy?” Damien asked, though his focus was on the locker and the books he rifled through inside.
“If you only knew.” Giselle laughed nervously, hoping that a change of subject might alter the current awkwardness between them. “I’m not even part of this whole Alpha event, but I’ve been drafted into slavery to make sure it goes off without a hitch.”
“Slavery? I seriously doubt it’s like that.” Damien’s tone hinted at boredom, or perhaps exhaustion. She couldn’t really tell. His whole vibe was weary, as if he’d pulled an all-nighter and seriously needed caffeine.
Giselle kept her tone light and friendly. “Well, if you asked Di or Taylor, they’d say they were in heaven. Party planning is their crack.”
Damien closed his locker and shouldered his backpack. “Sure. I can see that.”
“Colors and lights and fashion... blah, blah, blah.” Giselle waved a hand flippantly. “They’re all my family is talking about.”
“Really? The wolves care for all that?” Damien asked with genuine curiosity. He nodded his head toward the end of the hall and started walking.
Giselle walked with him, matching his pace. “The spectacle, sure. Mostly they’ll be there for the battles, but between those are the parties.”
Damien nodded. “Parties are the fun part. Are you going to enjoy any of it?”
“I may.” Giselle shrugged. “The pressure is off of me as an Alpha, so I’ll get to go as a guest.”
“That’s the spirit, I think,” Damien said.
“Hard to really get into the spirit when you’re watching people fight to the death.”
“You wolves...” Damien grimaced.
Giselle sighed. “Yeah.”
“Well. Besides the killing, what else does Martina have you planning? Wait... that didn’t come out right.” He cracked a smile, and she could see some of his personality shining through the fog of exhaustion.
“I’ll just check killing off my list.” Giselle snorted. “Next.”
“You know what I meant,” he chuckled.
“Yeah. There’s a big... moonlight revelry, I think that’s what it’s called it. As part of the closing ceremonies. I’m supposed to be gathering materials for that. Service for one hundred or something. Gavin is scouting locations out near Bonnie Springs. They have a hotel, and it’s close enough to the mountains for our kind to get lost in for the real event.”
“Too bad you couldn’t just book a hotel on the Strip.”
“Oh, yeah, and charge for tickets like a prize fight,” Giselle said.
“Wouldn’t be the worst show on the Strip.”
“Too true.” Giselle sighed. “But it would break the golden rule of secrecy.”
“Rules be damned.” Damien stopped walking and pulled Giselle close. He planted a kiss on her before she could push him away.
Happy for the little distraction, she welcomed the kiss. Enjoyed it, even, lingering a little closer in the hopes their lips might touch again; and when they did, she finished with a little nip.
“Sorry,” he sighed. “I had to get one last kiss in while I could.” The weariness returned to Damien’s eyes as they separated.
“What do you mean?” The moment broken, she was slammed back into reality and her heart nearly stopped in anticipation of what his next words would be.
“Since...well... Cassandra showed up, you’ve been more than distant.” Damien’s eyes dropped to the ground. “Like we’ve moved into the friend zone, but you hadn’t said as much in words.”
He was right. She’d been holding him at arm’s length for the last few weeks. Duty as a wolf demanded it. The truth of what their future would be had played out in her father’s condition. They were doomed as a couple, though she did feel strongly for him.
Love? She couldn’t quite call it that... yet. They were still so young, and that was a concept she had yet to understand. She knew she would never be the same if he were removed from her life, but as a friend, she’d still have him there. She had no answers to say out loud. But in her heart, she knew she wasn’t ready to let go of him. And that had played a huge part in why she’d been so odd about their relationship. Giselle opened her mouth to put a voice to those thoughts. She wanted to let him know that she had no desire to break things off right now, but Damien cut her off.
“And...you were right to do so. Your return from Washington only added more clarification to our positions as witch and wolf.”
“I’ve said something wrong, haven’t I? When I asked you to help me with father? I abused my privilege as your girlfriend, didn’t I?” She’d struggled with her feelings for him for so long. The thought of ending things broke her heart as much as the thought of them turning out like Cassandra and Orion. Now he’d turned the tables on her. She knew the blame resided solely with her. She’d abused the relationship. She’d held him at bay and then teased him with it when she needed him.
“No one is at fault here.” Damien spoke as if he were reading her mind. “We’re both just kids. Our relationship is new. And fun. And believe me when I tell you that you mean the world to me.”
“But?”
“The truth is we’re better off as friends.” Damien finished the sentence for her. “Your family has already put pressure on you. And mine are doing the same. Cassandra as well. The reality is there, in both our faces. It’s time we admit it.”
How many times had she had this conversation with herself? Practiced saying the same thing to Damien. Every time she looked at her father, a voice in the back of her mind whispered it. But even with the reality staring her in the face, she hadn’t given in.
Damien had. And as she stared into his eyes, her heart broke, seeing the steely resolve there. She’d triggered this. He wouldn’t admit it, but she overstepped. She had pushed him over the edge and caused this.
Tears threatened to fill her eyes, but she held them back. She’d save them for later and allow them to flow in private. Giselle gulped down the ache in her throat and answered back, “Maybe you’re right.” Her shoulders slumped. “But I’d liked to remain friends, if that’s still something we can be.”
Damien looked as if he wanted to lash out. Strange wrinkles formed across his brow. He set his jaw, clenching his teeth tight. “Of course.” He turned away. “But I need to take some time.”
His body language gave away what he was fighting to hide. This was hard on him too. A small consolation. If that could be considered consoling at all.
The worst thing, though, was her guilt. She’d wanted this on some level. And maybe that was what had caused her to act so flippantly with her relationship. Despite what he’d said about family putting pressure on him, she knew she was the source of it.
Giselle hoped, as she watched Damien walk away, that after a little time, they could be friends. She still needed him. For more than just magic. He was a part of her life.