Thinking Differently

 

 

Mom drove us to the hospital, a little too fast and a little too furious. Some guy in a souped-up muscle car cut in front of us, and mom pounded the horn. “Hey, are you blind? Idiot!”

Angry hearts run in my family.

As we neared the hospital entrance, I thought about what Better Bertie had told me. If I didn’t start thinking differently, nothing would change.

I tasted desperation in my mouth. Things needed to change. The old way wasn’t working. So I decided to give it a go. I worked up a head of steam. Let’s do this.

Okay, this is me thinking differently. Being better.

“Mom. I really love you,” I said, touching her arm.

She said nothing for a few seconds.

Then she glanced at me, distracted. “Sorry, did you say something?”

“Uh, just that I like your hair,” I said, losing my confidence but not my nervousness nor my self-doubt. I was gonna screw up things up again, I just knew it.

Howard and Tabitha were in the ICU’s waiting area when we arrived.

Howard wrapped my mom up in a hug, and then he smiled at me. It looked totally forced. I was probably the last person in the world he wanted to see.

“Any news?” Mom asked.

Howard shook his head. “Afraid not. No changes.” He cleared his throat, which was apparently a signal to Tabitha. She came up to me after I had taken a seat.

“Sorry about the fight and everything else that happened yesterday,” she said in a quiet voice. “I was just upset about Mac being hurt. I didn’t mean any of that stuff I said.”

Howard must’ve told Tabitha to apologize.

“Me, too,” I said. “I’m sorry for what I said. I need to think differently. I need to be better.”

Tabitha offered me her hand. We shook hands. Then, without another word, Tabitha returned to her seat and watched the TV, which was showing a black and white World War II movie. I suspected the war between Tabitha and me wasn’t over. But for Mac’s sake, at least, we had a temporary ceasefire.

Opening my backpack, I surveyed the bizarro contents inside. There was a pair of hexed sunglasses, a haunted cellphone, and now Mac’s enchanted toy metal car. I almost felt like a wizard, toting around magical gear. All that was missing was a wand and one of those goofy, old school wizard hats that look like bent purple traffic cones.

A few minutes later, I went down the hall to Mac’s room. Feeling a dark presence, I turned and saw Tabitha watching me in the doorway. Arms crossed, eyes narrowed. I didn’t need trippy shades to know that Tabitha’s aura had gone dark and cold. She came at me like an arctic wind, blocking my path.

“You’re not going in there.” She motioned to Mac’s room.

“Tabitha, I want to help.”

“Now that it’s just you and me, I am not sorry about one thing I said to you. You’re selfish and stupid, and I can’t stand the sight of your ugly face.”

“Please tell me how you really feel,” I said.

“Know this, Bernice, I’m gonna get you. One way or another, I will ruin you, just like you ruined Mac. That’s a promise.”

And with that, Tabitha marched off.

So yeah, the war was not over. The ceasefire had lasted a whole ten minutes.