Something Stinks

 

 

“I didn’t order no stinkin’ Girl Scout cookies!” the monster barked.

“Don’t be so sure, Mr. Peak,” I said, pretending to check my phone for orders.

Glancing to my left, I saw Tabitha carrying out her part of the plan. Hanging off a lower tree branch, she dropped down into Peak’s property. Junk piles prevented me from seeing whether she had stuck the landing or it had stuck her.

“Oh, I’m plenty sure!” Peak said. He lowered his dirt-smeared nose inches from mine. Streaks of his black aura snapped at my face like snake heads. “You trying to murder me, little rat?” His breath was so hot and foul it just about fried my eyebrows off. “I’m diabetic! If I eat even one of those dang cookies, I could go into insulin shock.”

“Lucky for you, the cookies also make excellent gifts, Mr. Peak, and you’ll be glad to know that our Thin Mints are one hundred percent…”

The axe murderer snatched my bruised arm. My insides exploded in agony. I wanted to cry out, but I couldn’t. Through the window next to Peak’s front door, I spotted Tabitha in the backyard. Cosmo was so overjoyed to see her, he covered her face with wet kisses.

I forced myself to look away, worried that Peak would follow my gaze. We were all going to be dead meat if I couldn’t keep the monster distracted. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to keep smiling. “If Thin Mints aren’t your thing, Mr. Peak, our Toffee-Tastic cookies are gluten-free.”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Hold on. I knew I seen you before, little girl!” The monster squeezed my arm so tightly I nearly saw stars. “Last week or so, you was loitering outside my gate!”

“Please stop hurting my arm, Mr. Peak,” I said as my legs grew weak and tears spilled out of my eyes. “Or I’ll be forced to take back my cookies.”

“You was with them lousy Morton kids,” he said, pointing the axe. “As I recall, I gave you little rats fair warning. Now, I done caught you red-handed. I got me every legal right to gut you.”

CLANG.

A noise in the backyard stopped Peak mid-sentence. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Tabitha trying to free Cosmo from the chain.

To my surprise, Mr. Peak just smiled like he was happy. The monster’s teeth were crooked and coated in scum. “Guess you was right, today is my lucky day. I got two little rats trying to burgle me! Just one question for you, rat number one, how ya’ll gonna steal my damn dog without no key?”

Jangling a key chain on his belt, the Creepy Axe Murderer lived up to his nickname. He reared the axe over his head. “Oh, yeah, I got me every legal right!”

“AHHH!” I screamed in horror.

Peak started to swing his axe down, but for some mysterious reason he stopped doing that as he yelled and cursed up a storm, as if in great pain.

What happened?

I had no idea, until the monster spun around. I finally saw Leon biting Peak’s left leg. And Leon was not letting go.

“Get off of me, dang dog!” Swiping at Leon, Peak tripped down his broken front steps. Timbering into his junkyard like a toppled redwood, the monster banged his head on an old sewing machine. THUD!

His eyelids fluttered in a daze.

The monster was down, but not out. I had to move fast. Reaching down, I unsnapped Peak’s keychain off of his belt.

“Good boy, Leon, let’s go!” Sprinting to the backyard, we found Tabitha still trying to free Cosmo.

“I have Peak’s keys,” I said, and then I tried to fit a key into Cosmo’s lock.

“Where is he, Bertie?” Tabitha said. “Where’s Mr. Peak?”

“Leon gave him a time out,” I said, trying more keys with shaky hands. And then click. The chain fell off Cosmo’s collar. Naturally, he licked my face like crazy. He smelled like an old wet rug, but he was glowing brighter than ever.

Until he wasn’t. Suddenly, Cosmo’s gold aura dimmed.

“Here comes the pain, little rats.” Tabitha and I turned and saw Jack Peak thumping toward us, his aura more vile and stormy than ever. Holding his axe, and with blood flowing down his face, he was the ultimate deranged monster.

“You stole my brother’s dog!” Tabitha said. “Cosmo belongs to my brother Mac, and we are taking him out of here.” Her aura shone crimson and gold. It wasn’t rage, it was righteousness. In that light, Tabitha looked like a warrior princess. She looked brave.

Slapping the axe handle against his meaty palm, Peak said, “Ya’ll ain’t going nowhere!”

Rushing forward, Leon snapped at the axe murderer, but the monster kicked him away. My eyes went red with outrage. Now I rushed at Peak. Or I started to. Behind him, I saw a silvery cloud of stars buzzing and swarming toward the monster.

A colony of bees. Thousands of tiny bee-stars descended onto Peak like a moving constellation. Pawing at the bees, he writhed and cursed and rolled on the ground as the swarm covered him like a silver glittering blanket.

Not a single bee bothered Cosmo, Leon, Tabitha, or me. Something miraculous was happening. I could sense it, and I hoped Tabitha could, too.

“It’s my mom isn’t it?” she said, awestruck. “She’s directing the bees, Bertie. She’s giving us a way out!”

“Then let’s take it. C’mon!” I grabbed Leon, and Tabitha picked up Cosmo. Only she didn’t seem to want to leave just yet.

“But, my mom… I can feel her. She’s definitely here,” Tabitha said, her eyes tearing up.

“We don’t have much time, Tabitha. Your mom told us to bring Cosmo to the hospital,” I said. “Mac needs him!”

And so we ran, sprinting as fast as we could toward the front gate.

Only the monster wasn’t done just yet. A truck engine roared behind us. Looking back, I saw Peak behind the wheel of his Dodge, covered in bees. Pounding the gas, he aimed the truck at us. We were trapped with no way out.

Winds stirred, and then a rusty washing machine flew into the air and smashed into the speeding truck. CRASH! Peak drove faster, undeterred, until an old snowmobile flew out of nowhere, smashing his windshield. BANG! He kept going. It seemed like nothing was going to stop the monster from crushing us. Finally, the broken refrigerator where Peak stowed his homemade grain alcohol contraption rocketed against the side of the truck. BOOM! Flames spread over the truck’s hood as Peak crashed the burning Dodge into his house.

Tabitha, Leon, Cosmo, and I watched Peak frantically jump out of his truck.

He was still coming for us. I will tell you this: there’s nothing more dangerous than a wounded bee-stung killer.

But then the silvery star-lit bees swarmed on the axe murderer again. A cursing Peak ran screaming inside his house like a demented bee-covered monster.

I was wrong. It wasn’t Mr. Peak’s lucky day, after all.