I’m supposed to keep everything perfect—usually I want to keep everything perfect. But I tore apart my first communion dress. Ripped it into a thousand pieces . . . and buried it in the garbage so no one would know. I can’t stop thinking about how good it felt, and I have just enough left of me to know that it shouldn’t have felt so perfect.
—Page 86 of Tessa Waye’s diary
Todd calls Bren immediately, tells her everything before he drives up to the hotel to see them off. After she tells Lily, Lily demands to talk to me. I take the phone up to my room, and as I listen to Lily sing about how we’re finally free, I watch a man walk out from our neighbor’s tree line again. He stands just beyond the streetlamp’s light so I can’t see his features, but I know it’s not Carson, because Carson never comes on foot, and I know it’s not a neighbor, because a neighbor wouldn’t stare up at our house. . . .
It’s Jim Waye. Again.
“We’re free, Wick!” In the background, I can hear something squeaking. I think Lily’s jumping on the hotel bed. “Dad’s gone! We’re free!”
“Yeah,” I say, infecting my voice with Lily’s enthusiasm. But the closer I press to the window, the closer I press to him, the less I can manage it.
He thinks Lily’s here. No one knows she’s gone yet.
“Wick . . . ? Are you paying attention?”
Waye moves toward our house, and I shoot to my feet. “Yes. No. Sorry. Lil, I—I think someone’s here. I need to go—”
“Is it Mr. Waye?”
I stop, put one hand against the windowsill. “Why would you say that?”
“He talks to me sometimes. I’ve seen him at school when he comes to pick up Tally. He’s very sad about Tessa. I think he needs a friend. Maybe he came by to see me.”
“Lily, if Tessa’s dad ever talks to you again, I want you to go find a teacher right away, do you understand?”
“Why?”
“Just do it. I’ll explain late—”
“You can explain now.” The squeaking—a rhythmic beat before—stops dead. “Dad’s going away for good. Everything’s going to be great, and you’re being weird. I want you to say yes to Bren. I want you to stop whatever you’re doing and say yes.”
I stare out the window, watch Waye watch the house, and think about telling Lily what’s really going on.
But I don’t. I can’t.
Lily feels safe now because her own personal big, bad monster has been dragged away. How could I introduce her to another? How could I live with myself?
How could I live with myself if he touches her?
“So are you going to say yes, Wick?”
I look down at Waye, knowing damn well that, even with the lights off in my room, he can still see my shape at the window. “I don’t . . . I haven’t decided yet. I—”
Click.
She hung up on me. I start to call Lily back and then . . . I don’t. When all this is finished, when it’s fixed, maybe I’ll find a way to tell her what really happened. But for now, I turn to the window, start to give Waye my bird finger, but then I stop. Waye is motioning to me! I step closer to the glass, not believing what I’m seeing.
He wants me to come down?
Hell no! Wait! Hell yes! I spin around, take the stairs two at a time until I rocket onto our front porch. I’m ready to confront him. Ready to tell him I know he did it. I’m ready . . . to see nothing.
The street is empty again.
I look around me. Nothing. I know I saw him. I know—
“Wicket?” Todd appears at my side. He must have come around the side of the house, and he’s staring at me like I’ve lost my freaking mind. “Are you okay?”
“I—I don’t know.” I try to think of some sort of legitimate excuse for charging out the front door like my hair’s on fire.
I don’t have one. Maybe it’s time for a little bit of truth?
“I thought . . . I thought I saw Tessa’s dad staring up at the house.”
Todd cocks his head. “Why would Jim come by?”
“I don’t—I don’t know. Lily says he’s been talking to her at school. I just have a bad feeling about it.” Lame, but true. I chew my lower lip and try to gauge Todd’s response.
He’s astonished, worried. Pissed.
“Don’t worry, Wicket. I’ll get to the bottom of it. I’ll speak to Lily’s teachers as soon as she returns.” Todd backs up a step, opens the door a little wider. “Why don’t you come inside?”
I nod. Good. Getting to the bottom of things is good. And as I watch Todd turn the dead bolt, I think maybe we’re finally getting to the end of this.
It’s one thirty in the morning, and I can’t sleep. Part of me thinks it’s because of Lily. Some of me thinks it’s because of Griff. Most of me, however, thinks it’s the four cups of coffee I’ve had in the last three hours. With Bren gone, there’s no one to stop me, so I’ve had as much as I want, and now I’m so wired I can feel my fingernails growing.
My cell beeps and the screen flashes. Griff.
U still up for getting IP addresses?
Am I still up for it? Hell yes! If we can find who was using that library computer to do the upload, we could catch our guy. My fingers are trembling as I text:
of course.
It’s the longest four seconds of my life until he writes:
Meet me at library tomorrow. 2 p.m.
I’m early, but I still don’t beat Griff. He’s waiting outside for me, slouching against one of the pillars until I get so close that he stiffens.
“You look rough.”
My cheeks go nuclear. “Gosh, you’re sweet.”
“Wait.” Griff peels himself off the pillar, rubs the back of his neck. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
Griff’s eyes inch over my face. “That I’m an idiot.”
“No, you’re not.” But I am. Because when he’s looking at me, I feel like the only person left in the world, like I’m special just because I’m me. “So. You have a plan for this?”
Griff’s gaze sweeps across my face. “Is this what you’re like without Lily?”
Yes. No. “He came to my house again last night, Griff. I know it’s Waye. This has to end. How are we going to steal this stuff?”
He laughs. “Wicked, we’re not going to steal anything. We’re going to get them to give it to us.”