Savvy toys with a strawberry milkshake, listless, sad-eyed.
‘You were so brave to go and visit,’ Erin says. ‘I know I couldn’t have. Hospitals creep me out. No wonder you’re all upset, Savvy.’
‘Her mum asked me if I’d come back,’ Savvy says. ‘Talk to her. The doctors think that hearing her friends talking to her might help. How do you think that made me feel? I wasn’t really her friend, was I? None of us were!’
‘She was a loner,’ Lainey says. ‘That’s not our fault.’
‘But you were friends with her once, weren’t you?’ Savvy points out. ‘In primary school? What went wrong?’
Yaz launches into a spiel about how Alice was given a lead role in the school play in Year Six and suddenly thought she was better than everyone else, but Savvy doesn’t look convinced.
‘She must have changed a lot, then,’ Erin says. ‘She’s never seemed that way at school, and she didn’t strike me that way on Saturday; not at all. I actually liked her. She was fun.’
‘She was great,’ Lainey agrees, taking her cue from Erin. ‘She probably has changed a bit. Grown up, you know? I think maybe we could have been friends again, if this hadn’t happened.’
‘We’re talking about her like she’s dead,’ Savvy snaps. ‘She’s not – but she’s really, really ill. I keep having these awful nightmares where she dies and comes back to haunt me and tells me it’s all my fault …’
‘She won’t die,’ Lainey says.
‘You don’t know that,’ Savvy snaps. ‘You haven’t seen her; how ill she looks. Those machines are keeping her alive, and all because I invited her to a stupid sleepover.’
‘You were trying to be nice,’ Erin says.
‘Yeah, right. We all know that wasn’t the reason I asked her,’ Savvy says. ‘We used her; tricked her. Why don’t we just say it like it is?’
The girls shift in their seats, sipping their drinks, touching up their lipgloss, checking their phones. The truth curls around them like a bad smell, but they pretend not to notice. Talking about it is too difficult, too shameful.
‘I might go and see her at the hospital, then,’ Yaz says into an awkward silence. ‘If you think it would help?’
‘It might,’ Savvy says. ‘You could talk about old times, happy memories. Maybe you can pull her back into the real world?’
‘I’ll visit too,’ Lainey offers. ‘For old times’ sake.’
Savvy pushes her glass away, the milkshake only half drunk.
‘Be prepared for a shock,’ she tells them. ‘She’s linked up to all these drips and wires and they had to cut her hair off for the operation. Her lovely long hair. I felt like crying when I saw her!’
‘That’s awful,’ Yaz says.
‘So sad,’ Erin agrees.
Savvy’s eyes grow wide. ‘Has anyone told Luke?’ she asks. ‘He might not know! I mean, they were old friends, once, weren’t they? And there was a bit of a thing going on between them the other night, definitely. Someone should speak to him. Maybe he’d like to visit?’
Lainey finishes the last of her milkshake, scooping up the remaining froth with the end of her straw.
‘I’ve got his number,’ she says. ‘I’ll sort it. No worries.’